"That's a reason." Pinkie stares at the changeling standing by the hole. It was after my shift, (As in work hours) so the moonlight was falling through the cavity.
"Come on, we don't have all day." The changeling gestured towards me to come up.
"Yeah, let's go. Well... She sort of hit her head a few minutes ago, and it was rather hard. She sort of got disconnected from the hive, maybe in a minute she'll rattle back." I had to lie. If the changeling figured out that she was a pony, or even worse an element of harmony, then he'd load a clip into her, then me. Honestly, I don't like killing. It's not my speed.
"Okay, okay, we gotta get out of here. Quick." The changeling gestured, once more, for us to come out.
I took a quick glance at Pinkie that I hoped explained the situation, then de-shifted. She stared back at me with wide open eyes. I fluttered up out of the hole and next to the changeling.
Plan, plan, plan... Well, we're gonna die either way. Let's do this.
I turned and leaned into the hole.
"Come on, Morph, we gotta go! We can get out of this shit-hole!"
I mouthed "Play along."
Pinkie groaned, pretending to be a bit woozie.
"I guess she's just not feeling it." I turned to the guard and made an apologetic face.
"For the love of Chrysalis, hurry up!" The guard took three steps back and sat down.
Now.
I leaned in, and bucked him in the face. For all that training, head wounds are surprisingly effective. I grabbed the gun and climbed back down the hole.
"Okay, cards on the table, I'm not really Stellar Shift. Well, Shift is right, but not Stellar. I'm a changeling. When the mountain city thing love exploded, it shot me into the big forest of 3D things. (Seriously, the timber wolves are 3 dimensional. Look closely.) I managed to get here, where I divised a plan and got a job. That night, I met you and your friends. I've been avoiding you because, first, a kiss on the first meeting? Really? Second, you're an element of harmony. Three days ago, you fired a cannon at me. I do not act on my own whim. I am an officer first class of the changeling army infantry, and was under orders to capture you. But now, I'm not really feeling it. So I'm gonna take this gun, sit right here, and kill any sonavabitch who tries to take me first." I plopped my butt on the floor and cradled the gun in my hooves.
Pinkie looks at me.
And that's when I felt it.
Pinkie Pie, element of laughter, was in love with me, a changeling.
Woop-de-fucking-doo.
Yeah. BAD AUTHOR! Bad! You don't break a fourth wall like that! Change it to a thought and Italicize it.
lengthen your chapters, if you can write two in one day then combine them
1961702 naw, that's how I write. It's my style. I never expect people to be absorbed into the fic, therefore I do not care about breaking the immersion,
But thank you very much, that will be changed.
1961805 I only do work in stupid, complicated ways. Making two separate chapters is one way of how I write, and how I work. Please understand that I do not think these things through, as I'm a bit of an idiot.
1961897
As I said to another author who did something similar, it's about as effective, desirable, and helpful as if The Dark Knight randomly cut to the director in an 80s apartment, on an 80s sofa, in an 80s shirt, recorded on a washed-out, fuzzy 80s VHS camcorder so he could give commentary that you don't care about in the middle of a tense chase scene.
It doesn't bother you as much as it bothers us because you're expecting it. Trust me when I say that you really want to either work it into the story or make it a footnote.