The Back Shelf

by Dizzy Daze

Another Castle!

Time Turner walked along the border of the Everfree Forest with his marefriend, Ditzy. They had no particular destination in mind, but were considering stopping by Sugarcube Corner to join in on whatever party was inevitably going on.

Turner's cousin, Rose, trotted in their direction. She lifted a hoof to wave. A shadow fell over the trio, and Rose's hoof passed her mouth to reach up to her forehead. She fell to the ground in a dead faint. Ditzy and Turner whipped around.

A hulking... thing emerged from the forest and loomed over them. Its body was covered in sulfur-yellow scales, with grimy claws and a tuft of bright orange hair sprouting out of its head. Bands of spikes ringed its arms and neck, and a spiked turtle shell adorned its back. It towered above them, nearly the height of Princess Celestia.

Before either Turner or Ditzy could react, it reached out a claw and snatched up the pegasus, cackling, "To the castle!" Its booming chuckles echoed throughout the streets of Ponyville and shook the ground as it retreated.

Turner was frozen in place, staring after the monster. "What?" he asked no one, dumbfounded.

"To the castle," the beast had said. The question was, which one? Turner took it as a given that he would be the one to save Ditzy, but he had no idea where to start. It helped matters, though, that there were only four castles in Equestria. He couldn't be headed for the ruins in the forest, since it was probably where he'd come from, so that left three: Canterlot Castle, the Crystal Castle, and Princess Twilight's castle. He might as well start with the closest.

---

Time Turner rushed through the front door of the Rainbow Friendship Castle. A befuddled baby dragon jerked awake as the heavy crystal door slammed open, sending a large crack up the wall. The sweaty stallion rushed through the hallway.

"Wait!" called Spike. "Princess Twilight wants all visitors to be searched!" His stubby legs worked furiously, and he caught up with Turner, latching onto his foreleg.

Turner shook him off in disgust, jumping on top of his head for good measure. He continued running up the winding stairs of the castle. Guards rushed at him the farther he progressed, but he fought them off, dodging and weaving and pouncing on top of their heads. Finally, he reached the top floor and burst through the locked door into Princess Twilight's chambers.

She jumped up in alarm. "Yes?" she asked warily. She tried to inconspicuously charge her horn with power, to incapacitate the strange stallion until the guards could deal with him.

Turner saw the tell-tale magenta glow around her horn and jumped out of the way. A blast of magic blew a crater in the wall where he had been standing. They circled each other, crouching in battle positions. Turner spied a chest marked, "Power-Up Potions" behind him and cracked it open. Twilight shouted at him to stop, but he ignored her. Not wanting to turn his back on his opponent for long, he grabbed the first one he saw. Its label depicted some kind of flower. He pulled the cork out with his teeth, spat it at the princess, and gulped down the potion.

It burned its way down his throat as though he'd just swallowed liquid fire. He coughed once, twice, to relieve his scratchy throat, and to his amazement, two fireballs popped out of his mouth, leaving scorch-marks on the floor. He looked up at Twilight and grinned devilishly.

Twilight's eyes widened in horror. "I surrender!" she shouted.

Turner approached the princess. "Where is Ditzy?"

"I-I don't know," replied the princess, confused. "What made you think she was here?"

Turner explained the morning's events.

"I'm sorry," Twilight whimpered. "She must be in a different castle."

Turner groaned and said nothing. He walked back down the stairs and out the castle doors, leaving a very confused Twilight Sparkle behind. "You know, if you're going to drink my potion, the least you could do is stick around so I could study you," she muttered.

---

Turner arrived at the Crystal Empire by train. He bought a ticket for the fastest train they had, but he still cursed for every minute that it took. That was another minute that Ditzy was held captive by that horrible monster. As soon as the train pulled up to the station, he jumped off, racing through the streets to reach the castle's crystal portico. A whole troop of guards was assembled there, doing drills. Turner screeched to a halt a few yards to their left.

He stood off to the side, watching them. Would it be worth it to fight his way through them, especially if Ditzy wasn't here? He coughed innocently a few times, trying to scare them off with his fire breath, but nopony seemed to notice. Two guards broke formation and approached him. "Can we help you?" one of them asked.

"Uhh..." Turner stammered. "Yes. You wouldn't happen to have seen a, um, giant turtle anytime today, would you?" The two guards exchanged a look that clearly said, Is this guy serious?

"Right, just checking." Turner chuckled weakly. "Er, carry on, then."

The two guards watched as the mysterious stallion ran back to the train station. "You think we should report him?" the guard asked.

The second guard shrugged. "Nah."

---

By the time Turner reached Canterlot, the sun was low in the sky. This confrontation was the one he was worried about; he would have to face the two most powerful alicorns in the world. He only hoped he could talk things out. If things turned violent, they would get really ugly for him.

He approached the castle's tall gates and made to step through them, but the guards standing sentry slid their spears out, blocking his path. "Hey!" the one on the left cried. "He's the one!"

Turner backed up in confusion. "Who, me?"

The second guard piped up. "Yeah! You're the guy who attacked Princess Twilight's castle earlier today. We're going to have to take you in for questioning, sir."

Turner shook his head. "No, you don't understand. It wasn't like that at all."

The first guard scowled. "Tell it to the judge, pal."

---

The Celestial court was ending for the day when the pair of guards pushed through the heavy doors to the throne room, stallion in tow.

"We found him, Princess," said the first guard.

Turner gulped. His ears flattened against his skull and he took a shaky step back. "L-look, your Highness, I--" He broke off, unable to find words.

He looked up at the tall mare and saw the shimmer of magic building up around her horn. Panicking, he bucked the guards in their faces, knocking them unconscious.

At almost the same time, Princess Luna teleported into the throne room, ready to begin her night court. She gasped as she saw Turner advancing slowly on Celestia. Luna, in turn, fired up her horn. Turner looked between the two and realized that he had less than a second to escape. As the princesses fired, he ducked.

The bolts of magic slipped past one another. Luna's stun-spell hit Celestia in the chest; Celestia's knocked Luna's hooves out from under her. The two sisters collapsed, unconscious.

Turner marveled at his good fortune. Sure, he'd be in major trouble later, but he needed to find Ditzy first. He galloped back out of the castle. In the throne room behind him, a glass of water crashed to the floor, soaking the ornate rug.

---

Turner trotted through the streets of Ponyville once more. The sun had gone down long ago, but his hours of searching had proved fruitless. Finally, he decided to call it a day. He would try again in the morning. He headed towards the apartment he and Ditzy shared, unlocked the door, and stepped inside, slumping against the wall in exhaustion.

"Took you long enough," a deep voice said.

"Gah!" Turner jumped up in alarm, adopting a battle-ready stance. The monster sat at his dining room table, sharing tea and cake with... Ditzy!

Turner rushed past the monster and embraced his marefriend. "You're okay!" he cried.

She drew back in puzzlement. "Of course I am. Why wouldn't I be?"

"I- You got kidnapped by this horrid creature!" Turner sputtered, pointing at the stranger, who scowled.

"Hey!" Ditzy reprimanded. "Bowser's not a monster! He's just a little misunderstood. I promise, he's a real sweetheart."

The stranger, Bowser, blushed and took a dainty sip of tea to try to cover it up.

Turner looked back and forth between the two of them. "So what was with the kidnapping? And the castle? Ditzy, you can't tell me that his intentions are good."

To his surprise, the other two burst out laughing. "Oh, Time Turner, you can be such a worrywart." Ditzy giggled. "Bowser and I used to play this game all the time when we were little. He wanted to surprise me because I didn't know he was supposed to be in town."

Turner raised an eyebrow. "When you were little? How long have you two known each other?" he asked.

"I'm her brother," Bowser said nonchalantly.

"What!?" Turner looked like he was about to faint from sheer shock.

Bowser gave a mighty belch, and Ditzy wrinkled her nose at him. She leaned in to whisper into Turner's ear. "He's adopted."

Author's Note:

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[Mr Good Guy]

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