ROB's Speed Fics

by ROBCakeran53

Hard Boiled Eggs and Cocaine don't mix, yo.

Author's Note:

PANIC! FICTION! 56. Prompt was "Ballroom Blitz" with bonus points for using egg(s). Max word count 745, with 20 min to write and 5 min to edit/cry. (3rd place). This story is also loosely tied into my Vinyl Does a Crap Ton of Cocaine fic, so you know... have fun with that I guess.

The ballroom was alive with activity. Alcohol flowed like the waterfalls of Canterlot. Bodies moved about wildly in a sea of ponies, waves crashing, rubbing, even grinding into one another. The only thing to have been proper was the DJ’s set up. Vinyl Scratch, or by her stage name DJ Pon-3, had the best rig on this side of Equestria, and she loved to flaunt it more than her own flanks in Octavia’s face.

It also helped that she’d spiked the eggs with drugs. Who in their right mind would even bring hard boiled eggs to a rave, anyway? Vinyl didn’t know, nor did she really care. The punch was already more whiskey than actual punch anyway, so what was a few cups of cocaine dipped hard boiled eggs to add to the mix?

A lot, apparently, as she was pretty sure most of the ponies on the dance floor were out of their minds and clothes. Seriously, somepony had started a massive bonfire in the center of the room, where former Princess Celestia had declared they “burn away the fancy” or whatever she thought was going on.

Newly crowned Princess Twilight Sparkle supreme had decided she wanted to host a party as a final farewell for Celestia and Luna, allowing the two to let their manes down and have fun.

Luna was having fun alright, with about three other stallions. Celestia was chanting and dancing around the fire with common pony and noble pony alike. Princess Twilight Sparkle was still AWOL after she’d been dared to a hard boiled egg eating challenge, and lost to a very smug Princess Cadance (who was last seen dragging a screaming Shining Armor by his tail with her teeth into a random closet).

Between the drugs and eggs, the place stunk to high tartarus. Those unable to handle the ungodly scents were fast asleep in a pile of gassy, unconscious bodies. The only blessing was that the chandeliers were high enough that the candles couldn't ignite the entire room into a massive fireball that could probably take out a quarter of Canterlot Castle, if not the capitol itself.