The Malignant Magnet

by derpyland

The Magnet Strikes Where It Hurts

Filled with a radiant, energetic evil, the magnet soared over Ponyville and aimed itself at a stylish dressmaking shop. The target had not been chosen by chance. The magnet could sense that somepony in that building had battled a great evil and overcome it – possibly more than once. In fact, the goodness of the pony that lived in that shop was downright nauseating. It is high time that evil gained its revenge! the magnet thought malignantly. It is time for this dressmaker to face my magnetic wrath.

The ebony magnet fell onto the grassy lawn that was outside of the boutique, and waited. After a few minutes the front door opened and a red stallion walked out. Just before the door closed, the magnet focused its energies on the bell that was hanging over the door and pulled. The magnet shot out of the grass, through the open door, and soared into Rarity’s dress shop. The magnet then curved its flight and plowed right into a giant glass mirror, shattering it into a thousand pieces.

The magnet felt a surge of dark power. Another victory!

Rarity, however, was not nearly as pleased. “My mirror!” the distraught pony exclaimed. She rushed over to it and stared at it in dismay. “But – I don’t understand. How could this happen? Did someone throw a rock into my shop? Whoever would do such a thing?”

She eyed the black magnet that had fallen to the floor. “Big Mac, you didn’t happen to see where this thing came from, did you?”

But Big Mac was already gone. When Rarity opened the door and looked outside, she saw that he was already down the road and headed back to Sweet Apple Acres.

Rarity walked back over to the shattered mirror and looked at the black object on the floor. “Well, I’m sure Big Mac didn’t do this,” she said aloud. She used her magic to levitate the magnet and looked at it curiously. “Just what are you, anyway?”

I am evil and darkness, the magnet thought to itself. I am your worst nightmare come to life! Behold the power of my evil malignancy!

To Rarity’s great surprise, the magnet suddenly leaped out of her grasp. It aimed its magnetic reach at the overhead chandelier and used it to arc around the room, up the stairs, and through the open door to her work area. Rarity let out a surprised shriek as she saw it tear through the air.

“But – that’s not possible!” Rarity shouted, as she heard a terrible crash come from upstairs. “You’re just an inanimate object! Whatever is the matter with you?”

As the sounds of destruction increased, Rarity galloped up the stairs and into her workroom. What she saw filled her with rage. Her beautiful, hoof-stitched clothes were strewn all over the floor. Her sewing machine had been battered and knocked over. Her patterns were scattered all over the room. But worst of all – in an event so shocking that it took Rarity’s breath away – that evil black object had somehow managed to get a giant red stain over her entire line of white bridal gowns.

Rarity had faced evil before. She remembered the time that Discord had tricked her into falling in love with a rock (a fact she had tried so hard to forget). She remembered the day when Discord betrayed them all and let Tirek drain her of all her magical abilities. She had known anger and she had known wrath. But this – this was just too much. This could not be allowed to stand!

The magnet was lying motionlessly on the floor – almost as if it was waiting for the pony to make the next move. Rarity grabbed it tightly with her magic and levitated it toward her. “I don’t know who or what you are,” she said through clenched teeth, “but you have gone too far! What you have done is a crime against fashion, and I will not let that go unpunished. By the time I get through with you, you cursed thing, you will wish you had never even existed.”

The magnet laughed to itself. Go ahead! Give me your best shot. I dare you!

By now its powers had grown considerably. Each new chaotic victory fueled its abilities and gave it increased strength. Using the damaged metal sewing machine as an anchor, the magnet ripped itself from Rarity’s magical grasp and sailed out the open window and across the sky.

“I will destroy you!” Rarity screamed, as it disappeared out of sight.

The magnet laughed.

Outside the shop, a small group of background ponies had seen the whole thing. They had watched the magnet enter the shop, heard the crashing sounds it made, and then saw it shoot out the upper window. They witnessed an enraged Rarity race out of her front door, shouting curses at it. (They also marveled that even though Rarity was obviously filled with anger, she had still found the time to find a cute matching outfit with a jaunty spring hat before going outside.)

Golden Harvest turned to Lyra. “We’d better tell the mayor that Ponyville needs to be evacuated. The Mane Six are at it again.”

Lyra sighed. “And my day was going so well, too. But you just know this isn’t going to end well. Do you remember last week, when–”

“It’s just not fair!” Twinkleshine interrupted. “My insurance rates went up 20% this year alone. Ever since Twilight moved into town it’s been nothing but one disaster after another. I know it hasn’t been her fault, exactly, but–”

Far away they heard the shattering of glass, followed by more enraged shouting.

The ponies looked at each other and then raced off. It was time to put Ponyville’s Problem Preparedness Plan into effect – for the third time this month.