4 Cups of Water

Chapter 4

Considering how Twilight Sparkle practically raised him, it was no real surprise that certain similarities could be drawn between Spike and Equestria's newest princess. It did not take a detective of any skill to notice that the young dragon had adopted several of Twilight's traits and mannerisms. For instance, as much as he would gripe about her extensive checklists, more than one claw cramp was self-inflicted from writing his own. Like Twilight, Spike had the tendency to pace when worried, a hidden musical talent normally showcased in the privacy of a bedroom, and a penchant for snarky sarcastic responses.

And, try as he might deny it, like Twilight, he was very fond of his routines, even if they weren't as inflexible as a certain purple somepony's or didn't officially begin until after nine in the morning, or whenever Twilight decided it was time for him to arise. Wake up, wash face, admire reflection, flex and compliment; each and every morning, barring some Equestria shaking catastrophe, Spike would run through this mental list of his.

That had not changed, but the location most definitely did, and for the past ten minutes, Spike had been hopping from room to room as he regretted having that second glass of milk before bed. "Maybe we should label this place," Spike said, shutting the door of yet another broom closet. "Or maybe get guards that point to where everything is, like in Canter--"

Spike interrupted himself with a cheer as he opened the next room. There, standing before him, was a porcelain sink with silver taps and faucet right below a shiny sheet of reflective crystal. A massive bathtub that seemed to sparkle under the hanging golden lantern was in the center. Spike's eyes, however, went directly toward the white round seat sitting in the corner, and he ran toward it as fast as he could with his claws positioned carefully below his waist.

A long flush echoed out of the room, past the ajar door, followed by the sound of rushing water. Water ran down Spike's scales as he splashed away the grainy remains of sleep from his eyes. He tilted his head to the side and smiled at his reflection. Mirror Spike smiled back.

"Lookin' good Spike," the dragon said smugly, raising his arms and bending his elbows. "Lookin' real good."

"Uh, what are you doing?"

Rainbow Dash's ears flattened against her skull as Spike screamed. She winced as the little dragon tumbled backwards into the tub and flopped onto his back. Rainbow watched as Spike slowly propped himself up, only to lose his footing and collapse. Her snickers won a draconic glare that did nothing to dampen her mirth.

"Need a hoof there, big boy?" Rainbow chuckled, extending her foreleg. Spike ignored it and pushed himself back onto his feet. Carefully, he made his way to the edge of the bathtub and slowly pulled himself out.

"Ever heard of privacy?" Spike grumbled as he bent over and dusted off his knees.

"You left the door open," said Rainbow Dash. "So, you normally do that?"

Spike lifted his head. "Do what?" he asked.

"The macho pose in front of a mirror and chanting to yourself."

A bright blush burned through the scales covering Spike's cheeks. "T-that's none of your business. Forget it, you never saw anything."

"Well what about the whole screaming like a filly? Is that normal too?" the pegasus teased. She struck the front of Spike's shoulder. "Kidding, kidding, don't worry, I'll keep your little secret."

Spike tenderly rubbed the area Rainbow had hit. "What are you doing here anyways?" he asked.

"Ah, hello, did you forget? Cooking lessons?" Rainbow Dash said. "I'd have gotten you sooner, but Twilight wouldn't let me wake you. Something about you needing your sleep." Rainbow rolled her eyes. "Must suck, being treated like a baby all the time, huh?"

"If it means getting an extra hour of sleep, I'm not complaining," said Spike, yawning. He extended his arms toward the ceiling and stood on the tips of his toes. "Well, I'm up, what now?"

"Don't ask me, you're the teacher."

Spike hummed softly. "Well, I guess you could help make breakfast," he suggested. "Pancakes might be a good place to start."

"Pancakes, huh?" Rainbow shrugged. "Sounds easy enough," she said. "No problem."

"Good. Now--"

"Great, race you to the kitchen. Last one there takes the blame for the vase I broke on the way here."

"What? Wait, what vase? Hold on, no way, that's a sucker's bet. I'm not--"

"Ready-set-go!" Rainbow speed through before disappearing, leaving behind the fading trail of a rainbow. Spike ran after her, grumbling as he hurried past the shards of some expensive urn and down the stairs.

"I can't believe you lost."

"Give me a break," Rainbow groaned. "This place is freaking huge. Why does Twilight need so many broom closets?"

"It's not that bad, you're just making up excuses," Spike said from under the counter.

Rainbow waited for the noisy metallic cacophony Spike was making as he searched through the cook utensils to die down before saying, "Hey, you live here. What's your excuse?"

The thin green protrusions jutting out of Spike's head poked out, like the fins of a fish in an ocean. Rainbow waited for the rest of his head to appear as he lifted himself up to the counter. "You wash your hooves yet?" he asked, placing a large frying pan next to the old recipe book.

"Yeah, yeah." Rainbow held up her hooves. "Hooves are washed."

"Alright, now turn around."

Rainbow Dash sighed. "Do I have to wear it?" she asked.

"Yes."

Spike's tone left no room for argument. With another heavy sigh, Rainbow turned and let the apron's top strap drape over her neck before waiting for Spike to finish tying the frilly pink garment around her waist. For her, the seconds that passed seemed to draw out into hours, and she began to dance from hoof to hoof as she grew more and more antsy.

"Could you hold still?" Spike requested.

"Could you hurry up?" Rainbow responded. She suddenly flinched and shivered.

Spike's fingers stopped. "What?" he asked worriedly. "What?"

"N-nothing, nothing," the pegasus said quickly. "You grabbed one of my feathers or something, that's all. Be more careful next time."

Spike blinked. "My claw just brushed by it. Seriously, how sensitive are you?"

"Most pegasi are."

"Twilight's not," Spike countered.

"Well, good for--GAH!" Rainbow yelped, her wings sprung out toward the sides. She turned and scowled at the dragon. "You did that on purpose, didn't you?"

"And now we know you scream like a filly," Spike said triumphantly, patting Rainbow's shoulder. "Now, let's make some pancakes."

Rainbow Dash huffed and shook her head but went to the dragon's side when he gestured. The cookbook was opened to a page that had the picture of a large stack of pancakes with a square of butter on top.

"So, what's the most important thing to remember when baking?" Spike asked as he scooted to side to give Rainbow a better view of the book.

"Love, of course," Rainbow deadpanned.

"Follow the recipe," Spike said just as evenly. "So this is what we're going to do. I'm going to read each step out loud and make sure you don't burn anything down."

"Har har, this coming from the walking talking fire hazard."

Spike ignored her as he continued his explanation. "I already have all the ingredients set up," he said, pointing to the row of supplies on the counter. "Each ingredient goes into that big mixing bowl on the left."

"Uh, my left or yours?" Rainbow asked.

"There's only one big bowl on the counter."

"Ah, right."

"No, left."

Rainbow Dash bit back a groan as Spike fought back a grin. "Anything else?" she inquired.

"Let's see, hmm." Spike tapped his chin. "No, not really. Just remember the teaspoon is the small one and the tablespoon is the big one. If you have any other questions, you can just ask me then. So, ready to start?" Spike said.

The weight Spike had placed on his words made them sound like a challenge than a question, and Rainbow Dash responded accordingly:

"Bring it on."

Spike cleared his voice and began to read. "Ahem, in a large mixing bowl, that is, the big bowl in front of you with the flowery design and--"

"Spike..." Rainbow growled.

"Right, heh, sorry." Spike swallowed and began again. "In a large mixing bowl, add one-and-a-half cups of flour, three-and-a-half teaspoons of baking powder, one teaspoon of salt, one tablespoon--"

"Alright, hold on. Just, wait, hold on."

Spike looked up from the recipe. "What?"

Rainbow took a deep breath. "Okay, this will be the only time I'll ever say this, ever, but I need you to slow down," she said. "I think I hear half of what you just said and understand half of what I heard."

"One-and-a-half cups of flour," Spike repeated, this time a little more slowly. "That cup there next to the bowl, the one with all the lines and numbers, you want to use that."

"Got it. One cup of flour." Rainbow Dash dumped the white powder into the bowl and coughed as a small cloud flew out of the bowl and into her face.

"Yeah, you want add it a little more slowly."

"Humph. And the half cup." The speedster's face contorted as she tipped the cup onto its side and gently shook the flour in with the rest. Rainbow Dash took a moment to wipe some of the flour off her face. "Hey, why are we using half cups? Seems kind of silly."

"If you add more flour, you can make more pancakes, but then you'd have to change the whole recipe," Spike explained. "Let's just stick with one-and-a-half cups, okay?"

"Yeah, sure," said Rainbow. She set the measuring cup down and folded her legs across her chest. "Okay, what's next?"

"Next, add three-and-a-half teaspoons of baking powder. The--"

"The teaspoon is the smaller one, I got it, geez. You make one little mistake..." Rainbow muttered under her breath.

"Actually, I was going to say the baking powder is in that small box." Spike pointed the orange box next to Rainbow's elbow. "Next is one teaspoon of salt."

"Salt?"

Spike shrugged. "Yeah, I don't get why either. Just add it."

"You sure this isn't some dragon thing?"

"The book was written by a pony," Spike said, fighting back a groan as his irritation grew. "This is going to take forever if you keep doing this."

"Doing what?" asked Rainbow Dash.

"Questioning the recipe. Seriously, stop it."

"Hey, you said to ask you questions if I had any."

"Yeah, if there was anything you didn't understand, not about every little thing!" This time, Spike hadn't bothered restraining his frustration, which saturated his voice.

"Well maybe I don't understand anything because you're not explaining anything!" Rainbow Dash yelled back. "Do you even know what you're doing?"

"Of course I do!"

"Then why are we adding salt into pancakes? They're called cakes, for pony sake!"

"I don't know, but that's what the recipe--"

"Oh, the recipe," Rainbow Dash jeered. She leaned forward until her snout was inches from Spike's face. "The recipe, recipe, recipe. Follow the recipe. What kind of advice is that?"

"It's great advice!" Spike snarled back. "You're just too stupid to take it!"

Rainbow's cerise eyes narrowed into slits. "Oh, I'm the stupid one, huh?" she hissed. "Well, maybe I am, thinking you of all ponies could teach me how to cook!"

"What's that supposed to mean? I'm a great chef."

Rainbow's laugh came out as a harsh bark. "Yeah, and that's all you're really good for, isn't it?"

"You--"

Spike instinctively shut his mouth as an sudden wave of murky amber liquid rolled over him and Rainbow Dash. His entire body tightened as the cold fluid dripped down his body. He could see that Rainbow was just as uncomfortable, demonstrated by her shaking as the liquid soaked into her fur. At least the pegasus's front was still dry, noted Spike, the apron having taken the blunt of the damage.

"Sorry," Twilight Sparkle said sheepishly. She was holding up a large kettle and a tray of cups with her magic. "I, uh, heard arguing, and read somewhere that diplomatic meetings often served tea as a calming device and figured it might help the two of you cool down. Not literally," the alicorn added hastily when her two friends turned and stared at her. "I may have gotten a little nervous from hearing you two shout."

Spike chuckled weakly. "Well, at least you didn't boil the water first."

"Heh, yeah," Rainbow agreed with a small tentative smile. "That would have sucked."

Twilight's eyes widened, and she slapped herself in the forehead. The kettle and tea set clattered against the floor. "I knew I was forgetting something!"

At Twilight's insistence, both Spike and Rainbow stood outside the bathroom with a towel over their backs. They stared into the room, at the crystal walls, at the ceiling and floor, anywhere any other than each other.

"So..." they both began before immediately shutting up.

Spike kicked at the floor. "Uh, ladies first," he said, stepping to the side.

"Nah, you go right ahead," Rainbow responded, taking a step away from the entrance as well. "I really don't need a bath, it's just tea."

"Well, I don't need one either. That stuff just runs off my scales without a problem, but won't the tea stain your coat?"

Rainbow Dash lowered her head and mumbled.

"Huh?"

"I said I don't like using other pony's bathrooms," Rainbow said. She frowned. "It's, you know, weird."

"What's so weird about that? You know Twilight."

"Yeah, and that's what makes it weird. Being in the same bathtub she's been in?" Rainbow Dash shuddered.

Spike scratched his head. "I don't get it," he said. "I mean, it's not like she's in there with you. She keeps it pretty clean, if that's what you're worried about."

"That's not--forget it," Rainbow groaned. She went forward and pushed open the door. "Fine, give me ten seconds, that's all I'll need."

"I'm going to need more than ten seconds when it's my turn, you know that right?"

The pegasus sighed. "Yeah, I can wait. Just don't end up taking a seven hour bubble bath, I want to finish those pancakes before lunchtime."

"Okay." Spike said, rubbing the back of his arm. "Uh, Rainbow?" he began just as Rainbow Dash started to shut the door behind her.

"Yeah? What's up?"

Spike squeezed his eyes closed. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have called you stupid." The dragon sat down and pulled his knees to his chest. "I should have explained thing better, but I was just being impatient and ended up frustrated. Guess I'm a pretty lousy teacher," he said sadly, turning away. He blinked in surprise as Rainbow Dash took a seat beside him.

"Well, I wasn't exactly a model student either," she said, scratching her cheek. "I was pretty impatient too. I just want to figure out this cooking stuff already and get over it, and when things weren't exactly going my speed, well..." Rainbow shrugged. "I kind of took my frustration out on you and gave you a hard time. I'll try not to do that next time. So, yeah." Rainbow Dash held out a hoof. "Sorry. You know when I said cooking for us was all you were good for? I was just got caught up in the moment, I didn't mean it. We cool?"

Spike's claw curled into a fist and bumped against the offered hoof. "Yeah, we're cool."

The two shared a smile, small but genuine. Rainbow Dash quickly broke the brief tender moment by standing up. "So, uh, see you in a bit," she said, raising her hoof to her forehead in a mock salute. Spike began to laugh, and Rainbow's lopsided grin grew. She closed the bathroom door, and Spike slowly got back to his feet just as Twilight walked down the hall, levitating a several large books.

"Done already?" she asked incredulously.

"Not yet," Spike answered. "Rainbow's going first."

"You do realize we have more than one bathroom now, right?"

"Yeah, but finding the others is too much work," complained Spike as he leaned against the wall. "Besides, it's Rainbow Dash, I'm not going to have to wait for very long."

Twilight rolled her eyes. "If you say so," she said. "Anyways, there's somepony at the door that wants you."

"Wants me?" Spike questioned. His confused features suddenly lit up, and the dragon jumped to his feet. "Is it Rarity?" he asked eagerly.

Once again Twilight's eyes spun toward the ceiling. "Sorry to get your hopes up, Casanova," she said with a teasing smile. "It's those two troublemaking colts from Cheerilee's class, Snips and Snails."

"Snips and Snails?" Spike said disappointedly. His entire being seemed to deflate. "What do those guys want?"

"I'm not sure, I didn't ask. They just told me they wanted to see you." Twilight smiled. "It's nice to see you having friends outside our circle."

"They're not--never mind." Spike hurried toward the stairs. "I'll go see what they want real quick," he said over his shoulder. "It can't be too important."

"Unless they brought another Ursa Minor into town," Twilight called back.

"I don't hear screaming," Spike replied, though from this distance he couldn't tell if Twilight could hear him. He might as well had been reassuring himself. As Spike made his way downstairs, past the many rooms and through the long halls, he thought to himself, maybe he was.

"Come on, Spike," he said to himself, pushing through the forest of empty bookshelves in the castle lobby. "Sure, maybe they're not the brightest bunch, but what are the chances of them bringing another giant monster from the Everfree?" Spike laughed nervously. "I mean, they know better now."

As he approached the entrance, Spike began to relax. The two unicorn colts stood there waiting, one long and gangly with a light brown coat and turquoise mane, the other short and plump with short brownish-orange hair and gray-teal fur. Spike was looking past the two colts at scenery behind them, releasing a breath of relief once he saw the town intact. The two ponies waved eagerly as Spike approached.

"Twilight said you wanted to see me?" Spike said as a greeting, his stares alternating between the two colts. Both nodded so quickly, Spike's eyes began to rotate.

"Yeah," said the shorter colt, his voice squeaking and threatening to crack. "Listen, we need your help, man."

"Really badly," his lanky companion added, leaning forward. Spike backed away from the doorway. He turned to the short one whom also stared at the dragon intensely. Spike took another step away. When Snips remained silent, Spike turned back to Snails and swallowed when he noticed just how close the tall colt's face was to his own.

"Well?" Snips finally said.

"Well, what?" Spike asked, confused.

Snails frowned and looked to his partner. "Uh, are you going to help us?" he said after Snips gave him a shrug.

"With what?" demanded Spike, throwing his arms in the air in exasperation.

"Oh, well, me and Snails are heading up to Froggy Bottom Bog," Snips explained.

"Gonna catch a bunch of frogs," Snails plugged in, nodding like bobblehead doll.

"Yeah, and we really need your help."

Spike blinked. "My help?" he said slowly. "Why? I've never tried catching frogs before. You tried asking Scootaloo or Apple Bloom? I think they tried Cutie Mark Crusaders Frog Catchers a while ago, they might have some pointers."

"No no, we can't ask the Crusaders," Snips hissed, looking around behind him shiftily. "They'll ruin everything."

"Oh come on, they're not that bad. I mean, sure, they've probably caused more property damage than the three of us combined, and that's considering the Ursa Minor and--"

"No, it's not that," interrupted Snips. "They're, you know..." The small colt waved his hoof, prompting Spike to finish the thought.

"Destructive?"

"No."

"Irresponsible?"

"No, no. You know, they're not..." Snips pointed at himself, at Snails, and then at Spike.

"Partially or questionable greenish?" the lost dragon ventured.

"No! They aren't guys!" Snips exclaimed loudly. The only sign indicating that he noticed the looks bystanders were giving him was a light blush as he grabbed Spike by the shoulders, forcing the dragon to lean back under the sudden weight. "This is a guy thing," Snips whispered. "You know, a little stallion time, without any annoying fillies butting in or anything, you get me?"

"No, could you please get off me?"

Snips released Spike and fell face first into the dirt. As Snails helped him up, he said, "Look, we were just hoping you could just talk to frogs, maybe make catching them easier."

"What makes you think I can speak frog?" Spike asked, crossing his arms.

"Well, frogs are reptiles, aren't they?" said Snails.

"They're amphibians."

Snips nodded. "Exactly, reptiles. So that means you can totally talk to them, 'cause you're a dragon and everything."

Spike shut his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. He opened his mouth and sputtered unintelligibly before slamming door in Snips' face. The two colts waited patiently as Spike reopened the door. The dragon took a few deep breaths and slowly calmed himself.

"No, sorry but I can't talk to frogs," he said. "That's something you should be asking Fluttershy about, really."

"We told you, this is a guy thing," Snips groaned. "Come on, what don't you understand about that?"

"No girls allowed," piped in Snails fiercely. "It's funner that way."

"Funner's not a word," Spike said, channeling Twilight and mimicking the special frown she normally set aside for diction misusage. "Look, I can't help you. I've got a lot to do right now, sorry."

"Oh come on, what do you have to do that's more important than some stallion time?" Snips protested. "It's not like you've got any books to shelve or anything."

"It'll be lots of fun," Snails tempted, hopping from one hoof to the next. "We'll get to play in the mud and look for bugs and, uh..."

"Catch frogs?" suggested Spike dully.

"Yeah, catch frogs!"

"What, or do you want to stay indoors all day?" Snips asked. He shook his head. "That can't be fun, spending all your time with the princess. I definitely couldn't stand it, always being around Princess Twilight," the colt said before he shuddered.

"What's wrong with Twilight?" the dragon asked, frowning deeply. Those green draconic eyes slowly became thinner. "Maybe she does sometimes overwork me, but I like spending time with her."

"Well, but, you know..." Snips began with a nervous, uncommitted noise. "I mean, she's pretty cool, for a mare, but...ah, forget it," he finished lamely. "Well, if you really have something to do, then that's too bad. We'll be at the bog if you finish early."

"See you, Spike!" Snails said happily. Spike returned the smile and the wave the taller colt gave him as he followed his friend away, though with obviously much less energy. Slowly, Spike shut the door and began to walk back to the bathroom. Rainbow Dash was likely finished with her bath and was now waiting impatiently for him to get cleaned up. Spike's pace up the stairs immediately quickened as he imagined the pegasus tapping her hoof against the floor, waiting for him to finish.

"Hmm, I wonder if those guys know about the hydra," he muttered to himself as he approached the top. Ten seconds later, Spike suddenly found himself running through town, chasing after the two troublemaking colts, hoping to avert another monster attack on the town, courtesy of Snips and Snails.

Author's Note:

Edited on 9-19-2014

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