TAL (Tuesday Afternoon Live) Juxtaposition

by TundraStanza

Ch. 4: Move Away From The Mic To Breathe

"Charge!"

*Crash!* *Tinkle* *Tinkle*

"Why me?"

As the game show's annoying and/or catchy theme played, the audience gave their usual cheers and applause. The camera panned across the set and rested on the neutral visage of Sunset Shimmer. She patted down some stress hairs before looking up.

"Welcome back to Juxtaposition," she said, "After speaking with my magic counselor, it turns out that seven years of bad luck is a bit longer in pony years. So, I stand before you all as a broken pony."

The audience laughed at her misery.

"That said, let's take a look at the scores. Sapphire Shores has a ridiculous score of negative seventeen thousand bits."

"~Oh, yeah! Serves her right!~" Sapphire sang.

In the audience, Apple Bloom shouted, "I love you, Sapphire!"

Right next to her, Scootaloo shouted, "I love you more!"

Sapphire smiled and waved at that section of the audience.

"Currently in the lead, Photo Finish has broken the previous Juxtaposition record with a positive score of twenty-five bits."

"Ah, yes," said Photo while nodding. "Just hold still darling. Hold onto that pain and hopelessness. The camera loves you." She emphasized her point by opening up her suitcase that doubled as an old tripod camera. Said camera proceeded to click with four flashes of light.

"Don't remind me," Shimmer deadpanned. "On the other extreme, Trixie Lulamoon has set a new record with a breathtaking score of negative-"

"Shut it, Shimmer!" snapped Trixie. Even over the audience laughing, she continued by saying, "Shut it short and shut it narrow."

"O...kay then," said the host, "I wish better luck to every pony in the next round. It's time for Double Juxtaposition. Here are the categories."

As each square turned over, a small bell rang.

"Important Portrayals."

"Ships And Dips."

"Your Own Voice Actress."

"Magical Artifacts."

"Is This A Horseshoe?"

"The Letter 'L'."

The audience laughed at more than one of those categories.

Shimmer turned back toward the contestants. "Ms. Finish, you have the lead so you get to pick first."

"Six hundred!" said Photo short and quickly.

Shimmer waited expectantly. "In what category?"

"It matters not," said Photo, "All that matters is the moment that I capture." Her camera went off two more times as the audience chortled.

"How about 'The Letter 'L''?" asked Shimmer before magically tugging the card. "In the English alphabet, this is the letter that comes directly before 'M'."

A buzzer rang.

"Ms. Shores?" asked Shimmer.

"~N as is right now, right here!~" sang Sapphire.

The crowd cheered for her in spite of the loud buzzer that indicated a wrong answer.

"More like 'N' as in no," muttered Shimmer.

A second buzzer rang.

"Trixie." Shimmer looked over.

"R marks the revenge that the Great and Powerful Trixie will have against T for Twilight Sparkle!" Trixie spread her cape against an unseen wind.

All the Trixie fans clamored for her attention.

"You are so lucky that I have a non-violent clause in my contract regarding contestants," said Shimmer. Her blood boiled on the spot.

The last buzzer rang.

"Photo Finish."

"Could you keep your eyes facing upward?" asked Photo. "It looks amateurish when the subject is looking to the left or to the right."

As the audience laughed, Shimmer took a deep breath and turned around.

"Let's try 'Is This A Horseshoe?' for eight hundred," said Shimmer.

Three zip-line sound effects blared overhead.

"It's a video Daily Double," noted Shimmer. "Everypony, take a look at your screens."

A looping audio of a piano played the main chorus to Sleigh Sundae's most viral song. Meanwhile in the background of the video, chocolate milk poured down as a form of precipitation. The responsible draconequus chuckled as he hovered about in the scene. A large portion of the audience cheered when he showed up.

"Hello, every pony!" the taped Discord called, "It's your favorite master of chaos here. I've been asked by a friend to personally help out Shun Set Simmer today."

"Sunset Shimmer," corrected the host.

"Oh, right. Whatever," said the clip as if responding to her. "Anywho, take a look at this." Discord poofed a clearly broken parasol and opened it with a meowing sound effect. "Answer the question: 'Is this parasol a horseshoe?' Can any pony answer it? Any pony at all? Come on! Don't be shy. Is it a horseshoe or isn't it? Give your best guess to the host for me. Ah ha ha ha!"

The piano music faded as the audience chuckled. A few seconds passed with no response.

"None of you know?" asked Shimmer, "Really? You can't tell if a parasol is a horseshoe or not?"

A buzzer rang.

"Thank gosh!" she exclaimed, "Sapphire Shores."

"Five, six, seven, eight, ba-bam!" Sapphire turned around. It seemed she had no idea that her back hoof had actually hit her button. "Oh, sorry. Did you say something, girl?"

Shimmer scrunched her brow as the audience laughed at the mistake.

Photo Finish buzzed before moving her hoof to wave some pony over. "We need more blush on the model, tout de suite!"

A far-east pony rushed forth before dabbing blush powder against Sunset Shimmer's face. She was immediately flung around via Shimmer's magic. Somebody in the sound department thought it very funny to press the 'glass shattering' button.

"Get away from me!" Shimmer breathed heavily.

Trixie's buzzer went off. "Say, if I were to crush you, would that give me enough magical strength to at least be on par with Twilight Sparkle?"

Shimmer's eye twitched involuntarily. "I am going to try my very best to pretend that you did not just combine all of those words in the exact same sentence." She shivered a bit as the audience laughed at the spectacle. "Let's move onto 'Magical Artifacts' for four hundred." She pulled out the card and flipped it over. "The answer is, 'This alicorn-shaped amulet was worn by Trixie for two magic duels with Twilight Sparkle'."

For the first time since she came on the set, Trixie was visibly sweating.

"Well, Trixie?" prompted Shimmer.

"T-Trixie hasn't the faintest idea w-what you're referring to," stammered Trixie.

Shimmer stomped her hoof. "You know darn well what it is! You were wearing that hunk of junk for Celestia knows how long."

"No I wasn't!" Trixie looked left and right as the audience laughed at her nervousness.

The signal for the end of idle-time blipped thrice.

Shimmer shook her head and exhaled audibly. "The one time that you're given the world on a silver platter, you turn it down." Her voice turned ragged and sarcastic. "Perfect! Just perfect!" She threw her hooves into the air briefly before stomping back down.

One of the buzzers rang.

"Ms. Finish, time is already up," said Shimmer.

"I am out of the film," said Photo, "Could one of you go find me the new roll?"

As the audience laughed again, Shimmer sucked in a breath before wiping her face. "Let's just skip to Final Juxtaposition. The category is... 'Ministry Practices'?" She flipped the card over a few times. Were her eyes playing tricks on her? "Huh? Oh, wait. This is for that other game show on the next time slot hosted by that Smart-Alec Tribe-Kay fellow."

The audience laughed and clapped at the mistake. Shimmer blushed and smiled sheepishly as she flung that card out of the way.

She fumbled around a bit before pulling out the next card. "Let's see. Your category is 'Famous Changeling Queens' and the answer reads, 'Name a changeling who has held the title of 'Queen'.'"

The lights dimmed as the Final Juxtaposition theme song played in stereo. As the contestants went to work scribbling something that was probably unintelligible, Shimmer used the distraction to drink directly from a bottle of Maalox. After twenty seconds passed, the theme ended and the lights returned.

"There's no point in putting this off," Shimmer muttered as she trotted over to the desks. "Sapphire Shores, you wrote... nothing. Somehow, you ba-bammed your pen so high up that it got lodged into the ceiling."

"Dagger isn't the only pony who has got the moves," stated Sapphire proudly. Cheers of agreement resounded in the audience.

Shimmer rolled her eyes. "Whatever. Let's move onto Photo Finish. What did you come up with?"

Photo Finish's board briefly showed onto the home viewers' screen.

"Flute Heir Shai?" Shimmer raised her eyebrow. "Who in the hay is that?"

"The queen of the scene changed for something worse." A small tear actually leaked from Photo's shades.

"Well, that isn't right," said Shimmer, "Your wager was... 'Da Magic'?"

Photo's tail snapped out straight behind her. The audience had a couple of chuckles at that.

"Seek therapy, Ms. Finish," advised Shimmer before trotting to the last desk. "Alright, Trixie. What condescending garbage did you draw about Twilight and I this time?"

The audience laughed before they were shown Trixie's board.

"Nightmare Moon?" said Shimmer, clearly confused. "Why Nightmare Moon?"

"The changeling invasion never happened," Trixie whispered before raising her voice to say, "It was a conspiracy! I tell you, a conspiracy!"

Several knees were slapped in the audience.

"Dare I ask for your wager?" wondered Shimmer as the next board flashed on. "Eleventy jillion bits? That's not a real number."

There was a pause before Trixie smoothly added, "... yet."

Those that hadn't slapped their knees were now rolling out of their seats in laughter.

Shimmer turned to the camera. "That's all the time we have today. I'm going to go take a long nap. Sweet Celestia..."

The audience's cheering and the blaring show theme threatened to drown each other out as the episode ended for the afternoon.

Author's Note:

*Spoiler alert*
In this fan interpretation, I make Sunset Shimmer talk in her sleep.