The Rise of Chancellor Puddinghead

by DoctorWhooves42

Cookies and Coaches

“You asked WHO??!!” Ballot Box yelled incredulously.

“Ah told ya, her name is Puddin'head, and she’s the delegate for the Belmont Province,” Cookie replied calmly. She had known her over-worked boss would not take this information well, but she intended to sit this rant through until Puddinghead herself arrived. This could happen at any time, hopefully sooner rather than later.

“BELMONT!!? That podunk backwater of a mountain village flank deep in Pegasus territory? I knew I shouldn’t have put a novice on this job!” He yelled. He turned to a map on the wall and began moving multicolored pins around, muttering to himself. “Now I’ve got to pull one of my pollsters out of Coltogne to get down to the Reinstag to find a real candidate and that means I have to transfer…”

“BALLY!” Cookie shouted, pulling Ballot briefly out of his thoughts.” Ah just want you to meet this pony. This is who ah think can win this here election; ah stake mah reputation on it!” she said confidently. Ballot Box stuck a pin he had just picked out back onto the map near Mareis and turned towards his orange protege with an impressed look on his face..

“Alright, I’ll give you a shot. When does she get here?”. As if in answer a loud thump came out of the chimney to the right of Cookie, making both ponies jump. Suddenly a pink head covered in soot poked its’ head out from underneath the flue and smiled at them both. A bowl of pudding sat precariously on her head, somehow completely devoid of grime or ash. Ballot Box’s jaw was very near the floor, and Cookie couldn’t help but giggle at the politician’s antics.

“Good mornin' Madame Delegate! Welcome to the campaign headquarters of Ambassador Grey Rock. This is the boss, Ballot Box.” Cookie said, gesturing towards the stunned campaign manager. Ballot Box just kept staring at Puddinghead, who trotted over to him.

“Is he always like this?” she said, poking him gingerly with her hoof.

“Nah. Normally ah cain’t get him to stop yellin’ about something,” Cookie said with a slight smirk.

“He seems stressed, I can’t imagine why.”

“Well, if ah were to take a guess, ah’d say it was on account of the fact that the pony his protégé selected to run for the 2nd highest position in the land just popped outta the chimney with a bowl of pudding on her head. But that’s just a theory,” Cookie said with just a hint of sarcasm. She blinked and suddenly noticed the delegate had vanished. She looked left and right but couldn't find her. She blinked again and Puddinghead had appeared with a bucket of water, which she proceeded to throw onto Ballot Box.

“WHA- HOW? WHY? WHO?” Ballot Box sputtered.

“Calm down Bally, this here is the pony ah selected to run with Grey Rock, “ Cookie said reassuringly. Puddinghead nodded enthusiastically.

“Yeah! It sounds like fun! I’ve never been a Vice-Chancellor before!” she exclaimed. Ballot Box just blinked out of confusion, but attempted to regain his composure.

“Uh...yes I’m sure it would be. Now I need to ask a couple of questions to see where you stand politically. So we know what your strengths are compared to the ambassador,” he said, pulling a clipboard off of his desk.

“Shoot!” Puddinghead replied, her smile at odds with the campaign manager's false severity.

“What is your opinion of the ambassador?” he began.

“Well, I’d say he was one of the most boring-est ponies I’ve ever seen. I mean he’s GREY, but that’s not really his fault. And his cutie mark is a rock! That’s not nearly as fun as the one I saw last week. That mare had a cutie mark that was a firecracker! How do you even get a cutie mark like that? I was gonna go ask her and then-“

“THANK YOU, Madame Delegate.” Ballot Box said, clearly exasperated. “Next question: How do you view our closest neighbors, the Unicorns and Pegasi?”

“Well the unicorns seem fun, but they have that weirdo magic. The Pegasus-ses-ses-es are really rude, and they keep making things colder for no reason.”

“Ah think you mean Pegasi, maam” Cookie interjected "And we can't prove the temperature changes are ALL their faults, ah mean ah've read about where they don't control any weather!" Cookie said. Puddinghead stared at her numbly before turning back to her interview.

“Whatever, anyway they just stay in the sky mostly, so they don’t worry me at all!” she finished, ignoring her discoverer's words. Ballot Box couldn’t help but smile at Puddinghead’s positivity.

“I think I’ve heard enough maam, thank you for coming by. I’ll send you a full survey for press release shortly. Welcome to the campaign.” He said, extending his hoof to shake. Puddinghead smiled broadly and bumped her hoof up against his, making a faint clop sound.

“Thank you Bally!” Puddinghead said, and walked away bouncily. They heard the door creak and then slam. A faint whistling sound could be heard through the window, fading until it was lost on the wind. Bally sat down and turned to Cookie, who was standing smugly near the fireplace.

“That, has to be, the craziest mare I’ve ever met,” he said, his eyes wide with confusion.

“And she’s perfect, right?”Cookie said, smirking knowingly.

“She’s exactly the opposite of the ambassador! She’s clever, she’s funny, and she’s fun. She practically oozes happiness and sunshine. She has a distinct image. She is the sort of thing that not only this campaign needs, but what this country, no, the whole earth pony TRIBE needs. This means big things for you Smart Cookie.” the elder pony politico said, his voice reaching a hopeful crescendo as he did so, his forelegs thrown up in the air before resting on his orange friend's shoulders.Cookie stuck her chest out in pride, happy that she’d followed orders and succeeded.

“Ah do mah best sir,” she said humbly. Ballot Box quickly turned to his clipboard and began flipping through pages and scribbling on a few.

“Now, Cookie comes the hard part. You and Puddinghead have to take a coach to the border and meet the ambassador. He’s currently negotiating with a representative of the Unicorns.” The smile fell off of Cookie's face as her boss spoke, her eyes filled with a sudden dread she could not fathom.

“All the way into unicorn territory? Stuck in a coach with her? Ah mean ah want to be her friend and all, but that don’t mean I’ll survive that, “ she said fearfully.

“You deserve it, for getting her to start calling me ‘Bally’." the brown pony said, grinning from ear to ear. "Don’t you worry, I’ll arrange everything. In the meantime, I need you to start brainstorming slogan ideas. I’m thinking ‘Rock and Pudding, together at last!” Cookie sighed and rolled her eyes.

“Sir, if ah may. That sounds simply awful, you will need mah help.”

“What about……………. Grey and Pink: Better than you think?”

“Shut up and give me that quill!” she said, tackling her mentor. It was going to be a long night.
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Cookie woke up blearily, and sat up with a slogan idea stuck to her face. ‘Vote Rock/Pudding. Because they’re 20% Cooler!’ How on earth did they come up with that? What sort of math is that even? She looked out the window and it looked to be mid morning. She smelled something and saw an éclair sitting on a plate next to her. Suddenly she realized she was hungry and dove into it, tearing into its flaky creaminess with the ferocity of a diamond dog. Suddenly Ballot Box walked out from the foyer, with Puddinghead in tow.

“You ready to go? Your carriage is due here in 5 minutes!” Ballot Box said, with a huge grin on his face. Puddinghead was also smiling, and had with her a huge bag that looked like it was full of crème.

“Did you like the éclair? I gave one to you out of my dessert bag so you’d be ready for the morning. You do know you’re supposed to put it in your mouth, not rub it on your face, right?” the pink pony said, her puzzled look being returned by a soft plop of icing onto the table in front of Cookie, who merely glared back at her.

“Let’s just go,” She said flatly, brushing through the two smirking ponies towards the door. They turned to follow her out, and together the three entered the street where sat the coach with a gentlecolt waiting patiently for them to arrive. Cookie noticed her travel bag up nestled with a bag shaped like a cupcake, before both were smushed by huge bag dripping with crème, thrown by the delegate, who followed behind with a jump. Before she could get in, Ballot Box turned to Cookie and gave her a quick hug with one leg.

“Good luck, kid. You’re gonna need it to convince that bag of dust that Puddinghead will help him win,” he said warmly.

“Thanks Bally!” Cookie said with a smile. She climbed in next to a very jittery Puddinghead and they were off. As Ballot Box vanished into the distance, the steady clopping of the driver along with the bumpiness of the cobblestones mixed hypnotically, making Cookie’s recently opened eyelids droop heavily. As they drove out of the city the warm sun began to make her even drowzier. Her eyes would have closed completely, allowing Cookie to float along in dozy bliss, had a pink shape not popped out and begun speaking to her.

“HeyCookiehowlongisitgonnatakehuhhuhhuh?” was the noise that emitted from Puddinghead’s mouth.

“Madame Delegate, you seem a bit more jittery’n normal,” Cookie said, trying to not sound as agitated as she was.

“Weeeeeell I’m really excited to meet the ambassador and so I ate some cupcakes and cookies and pies and éclairs and now I’m supersupersuper wired.”

`”Ah hadn’t noticed,” Cookie said, her sarcasm palpable. ”Now will ya be quiet and let me sleep? Ah need to be in top form if ah’m gonna convince the ambassador you’re runnin mate material.”

“Okey dokey croaky!” Puddinghead said in her usual singsong voice. As they sat in silence the hypnotic bumps were replaced by the relative smoothness of the dirt road as they finally reached the countryside. The sounds of nature filled Cookie’s ears as she began to drift off again. Her vision blurred, and her eyelids drooped heavily. She yawned heavily and laid her head on her crossed legs. Aaah, THIS was travel.

“Cookie! Wake up!!” Puddinghead said, with a hint of panic in her voice. Cookie sat bolt upright and looked around. Everything looked good, just farmland and trees. Every once in a while a farmpony would look up at the coach passing by. Nothing worth panicking about.

“Maam, ah am tryin’ to get some shuteye. What do you need?” Cookie asked, perturbed by the ponies energy.

“Are we there yet?”

Cookie stared at Puddinghead, eyes half closed in dull realization of what she had gotten herself into. This was like travelling with a foal! Accepting the fact that she would not be able to sleep, Cookie looked out at the countryside and sighed.

“Ah don’t know, maam. Unicorn lands are a good distance away, so it’s gonna be a few hours before we get there.”

“Want to play I spy?”

“Madame Delegate, wouldn’t you rather discuss politics or the election or sumthin?”

“Nnnnope! I spy is a much more fun way to spend time!”

“Alright maam, ah’ll play with you. On one condition.”

“What’s that?”

“You’ll let me sleep as long as ah want when we reach Unicorn territory.”

“Deal. Okay… I spy with my little eye something…….Pink.”

“Is it you?” Cookie said sarcastically.

“Nope! That’d be too easy.”Puddinghead said, giggling.

“Is it your mane?”

“Wooow! You’re good at this! Your turn!” Puddinghead was bouncing in anticipation.

“Ah spy with mah little eye sumthin……….blue.”

“Is it the sky?”

“Yes it is Madame Delegate.”

“Don’t call me that, Cookie.” Puddinhead said suddenly. Cookie froze, her eyes darting back and forth out of anxiety. Had she said something wrong? Maybe Puddinghead would refuse her offer now that she'd been offended. For once, the politician looked serious.”Friends call each other by name. Call me Puddinghead!” she said, beaming to her friend. Cookie let out a sigh of relief before smiling back.

“Alright Puddinghead. Your turn!” Cookie said, amused by her now friend’s nonchalant demeanor regarding her own credentials.

The coach drove on, and Cookie’s fear and apprehension melted away the longer their game went on. The sun began to set, and the two ponies couldn’t help but look at each other and smile.To the two ponies, this looked like the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

Comments

[Pony Sigma]

nice! I love the image of the two in the carriage. You've done a great job with the personalities given in Hearth's Warming Eve.

[DoctorWhooves42]

475897 Thank you! It's one of my favorite episodes and I'm glad I'm doing it justice!

[gapaot]

Okay, I love it. I'm impressed by Chancellor Puddinghead and would've totally voted for her. She's funny, she's smart, she has strong personality and charisma. Please write moar)

[iowaforever]

478191 And she's got a great taste in headgear