Lonesome Whistle

by Vauclains Understudy

Das Begräbnis des Lokführers (The Engineer’s Funeral)

When the darkness cleared his mind, Ironside found that he was no longer floating in the river. Instead, he was laying face-up on cobblestones. He sat up and looked around. It was nighttime, and he was sitting on one of the streets of Canterlot. None of the shops or kiosks was open, not surprising considering the time of night, but there was something in the air that told him that there was a very serious reason for the lack of activity. Looking at some of the houses in the distance, he noticed that black bunting was draped across their fronts. He knew well that that was a sign that somepony had passed away.

Looking behind him, he saw dim lights approaching in the distance. He knew that was the cortège approaching, so he moved over to one side of the street to see if he could get a better glimpse of the members. As the procession came into view, he saw that the lights came from torchbearers at the head. The two ponies were wearing cloaks, so he didn’t know who they were. But then he noticed a much brighter beam of light behind the torchbearers, and there followed the chugging of a steam engine.

A group of about fifteen mourners followed the torchbearers, their silhouettes illuminated by the headlight of the steam machine behind them. Iron listened to the chugging; it was relatively fast-paced for such a slow progression, so he deduced that it was a steam tractor. But then he realized that there was only one steam tractor in the city, and it was stationed in Ponyville. Now Iron began to worry; he hoped the pony who died wasn’t anyone he knew.

Next in line were Celestia and Luna, who lacked the cloaks worn by the torchbearers and mourners. Luna was wearing her traditional black jewelry, but what stuck out at Iron was that, first off, Celestia was wearing black too. But second and more important was their expressions. He expected the Princesses to at least look professional about this; seeing as how they were the only immortal equines they had presided over many funerals before this, but the brokenhearted looks that they instead exhibited put Iron on edge. Whoever had died must have been good friends with them, and this made the engineer even more nervous. To make matters worse, Celestia seemed to have lost some of the color in her hair. And Luna’s hair was more black than blue now.

Ironside began to panic. If Celestia and Luna were both on the verge of tears then the deceased definitely was someone Iron knew. As the steam tractor came into view behind the Princesses, Ironside instantly recognized it as the one that he had lent to the Apple family. It towed a gun carriage carrying the coffin, flanked on either side by six ponies and a dragon that Ironside also instantly recognized. He jumped off the ground and hovered over the coffin to get a better look at it. He first eyed the Mane 7, all of whom wore the same pitiful expressions of the Princesses. Turning his attention to the traction engine, he saw Granny Smith at the wheel with Big Mac operating the engine’s controls and stoking the fire. Then, when his eyes moved from his dear friends to the coffin, his heart sank. Painted clearly upon the mahogany lid was his cutie mark. He was but a ghost witnessing his own funeral.

Trailing behind the gun carriage were Blitz, Sunny, the Cutie Mark Crusaders, Shining Armor, Princess Cadence, and last but not least, Gallow Drop. And their expressions were just as tearful as those of the Mane 7 and the Princesses. Ironside couldn’t believe what he was seeing, and as soon as he landed, he immediately dashed his hoof against the cobblestones. It hurt, but the pain did nothing to convince him that he was dreaming. As soon as the last of his friends had cleared the street, he followed the procession at the same slow pace. He could see the castle looming in the distance, and he knew right away that it was the destination of the procession.

The giant gates creaked open to admit the party and the drawbridge across the moat lowered. The mourners and the Princesses filed across the drawbridge first, followed by the traction engine and the coffin. The Mane 7 and company were the last to cross, followed closely by Iron himself. Iron expected the procession to stop inside the Grand Hall, but he quickly discarded the idea when he remembered that there was steam tractor in this. Sure enough, the procession eventually came to a halt within the main courtyard. The mourners split into two parties and seated themselves before a grand platform with a pulpit from which the Princesses would give the eulogy. Using their combined magic, Celestia and Luna lifted Iron’s coffin off the gun carriage and placed it upon a bier located in the center of the platform. Unseen by the party, Iron flew alongside his body and landed next to Luna, who was positioned by the bier.

With the utmost reverence and care, Luna lifted the lid off the coffin so that all present could see the pony they had come to mourn. Iron smiled at the exceptional work Gallow had done to prepare him for his final rest, but his smile disappeared the moment he heard Luna begin to weep. He instinctively turned around and hugged her, but to his disappointment, she didn’t respond. Oh yeah, I’m a ghost, he thought. Looking up at her, he saw that her eyes were shut tight, but tears flowed freely from them, and she grit her teeth as she tried hard not to break down in front of all the ponies. Iron released her from his hug as soon as he felt her turn away from his body and back toward her sister. After giving her sister a comforting embrace, Celestia approached the coffin. She did a bit better at not crying in front of everyone, but her constant sniffs and tears told Iron that she was shattered by this too. He immediately embraced her as well, even though he knew she couldn’t feel him or see him there. She lowered her head and gingerly kissed his body on the forehead. Iron didn’t watch, but he felt her head lower and heard her kiss. Now he was in tears as well.

He turned around and watched as his friends filed past the traction engine and seated themselves in their designated chairs. Once he knew where they were seated, he scanned the audience to see if he recognized any of the other mourners. As the congregation lowered their hoods, he realized that everyone here was familiar to him. He saw Trixie and Roadkill sitting next to Twilight and Spike. Octavia and Vinyl sat on the opposite end of the group, nearest the bier. Lyra, Bon-Bon, Cheerilee, Spitfire, Soarin’, Photo Finish, Yarrow, Silver, Roseluck, and Time Turner were all there. The final face to be revealed, however, tore his heart in two. A purple unicorn with long, wavy, light-brown hair lowered her hood, wearing the same broken expression shared by the Mane 7 and company. It was Tenuta: one of the most gifted flautists in all of Equestria, and Iron’s closest friend. “It…it can’t be…” Iron whispered. She was one of the friends he left behind when he “died” the first time. There was no reason she should be sitting here when she believed him dead long beforehand. Yet here she was.

Celestia cleared her throat and addressed the ponies. “Thank you all for coming here tonight,” she declared, her voice shaking slightly, “We are gathered this evening to bid a fond farewell to our dear engine driver and friend, Ironside.” She took a few deep breaths before continuing. “This is a tragic day for all of us given the circumstances of his death. It must have come as a shock to all of you that his life should end this way…it certainly caught me off guard.” A moment of silence followed as the ponies recalled how their friend had come to where he was now. “I met Ironside not long after being reunited with my dear sister,” continued Celestia, now officially starting her eulogy, “He wasn’t a very sociable pony at first. He only spoke when I asked him something. He seemed lost, like he was alone in this world. I assured him he wasn’t; that’s why I brought him to Luna, because she felt the same way, and I wanted her to have a friend now that she had returned but didn’t know anypony alive at that time.”

“You two got along very quickly, I remember,” said Celestia, addressing Luna this time. Luna nodded in response. Tenuta smiled a bit; she was glad to know that Iron had found a good friend after he left her and his past life behind. Luna noticed Tenuta looking at her and fixed her gaze on the purple unicorn. Tenuta immediately stopped smiling and turned her attention to Iron’s body. Iron was standing right in her line of sight, and the melancholy look on his dear friend’s face made his heart sink again. Celestia continued. “Iron tended to tag along with me wherever I went. Apparently he needed a motherly figure to have nearby.” She stopped again, scanning the mourners for a sign of Iron’s mother. Iron also scanned the assembly, but as he expected she wasn’t there, and neither were his father nor his brother.

Celestia felt awkward stopping on her remark, but as she looked at the ponies assembled, she suddenly felt that she had nothing to say. Luna stepped in. “Sister, he was not the only pony to see you as a motherly figure.” Celestia smiled at her sister. She half-laughed half-sobbed as she tried to continue her eulogy. “I’m sorry, everypony,” she said with much distress, “I don’t want you to see me like this.” Luna tried to step in again, but Celestia held her hoof in front of her. “I just can’t believe I’d…be saying goodbye to him…so soon.” The ponies looked at one another, wondering if they should do something. “He had such a long life…ahead of him…” Iron lowered his head as he listened to Celestia.

“This is what you’ve done now,” he said to himself, “You’ve broken the hearts of everyone who cared about you.” Celestia finally broke down and wept before the assembled ponies, despite trying to continue her speech.

“He was…truly…one of the finest engineers we’ve ever had…” she sobbed, “He was…a wonderful friend…and I loved him…like I’ve loved you all… And I hope that…he finds peace…wherever he is now…and knows…that he…will never…be forgotten.”

Everyone began to cry in sympathy for their leader. Ironside slowly trotted, head hung, towards Celestia. She had now retired to her seat behind the pulpit and let the tears flow freely from her eyes. Iron gently rested his head against her chest and looked up at her tearful face. “Tia…” he said softly. Luna looked with pity on her sister, then at the mourners, and decided that she should try to complete the eulogy. She wiped her eyes as she approached the pulpit.

“My dearest friends,” she began, her voice breaking, “I wish I could recite to you all the times that Iron and I spent together. But I can’t. It just hurts too much right now. I don’t want it to hurt. We had many wonderful moments together. But every time I remind myself of what we did…” here she turned to look at Iron’s body, “I am reminded that never again can we share such moments.”

Tenuta wiped her eyes and whispered, “I know how you feel, Your Highness.”

Twilight stepped off her cushion and trotted up to the pulpit to comfort Luna. “Would you like us to try and continue the eulogy?” she asked. Luna smiled and nodded in response.

“Thank you, Twilight,” she said softly. Twilight signaled to her friends to join her on the platform. One by one they left their seats and trotted up the steps. Initially the rest of the Mane 7 lined up behind Twilight, but instead she had them surround the microphone, free to speak whenever they felt that they had something to say. Luna sat back down next to her sister.

Twilight took a few deep breaths and cleared her throat before speaking. “It’s hard to say goodbye sometimes,” she said plainly, “This is one of those times.” She looked over at Iron’s body (and Iron himself) and spoke while keeping her gaze fixed on the coffin. “Ironside,” she stated, “Gathered around you today are all the ponies who saw you and still see you as their friend. They’re here to bid you farewell. But they don’t want to bid you farewell. They’d rather pass by you on the street and wish you a good day. They’d rather invite you into their homes to spend some quality time with them. They’d rather give you a shoulder to cry on when you’re feeling down. They’d rather take a bit of time out of their day to remind you that you mean a lot to them. We all would rather be here doing that for you and assuring you that life isn’t so bad, but instead we’re here saying a final goodbye. Instead we’re here with tears in our eyes and pain in our hearts. Instead we’re here to see you to your final resting place, knowing that a very special part of our lives is now gone forever.”

“Life ain’t always easy, Ironside,” said Applejack, “It’s full o’ twists ‘n’ turns that throw y’all over the place. It’ll knock you down aplenty. It’ll kick dirt in your face. To be brutally honest, life’s a bitch. But death is much worse. Death takes away everything and gives you nothing in return. Life does take some things away, but it doesn’t take everything away, and it will give you things in return.”

Pinkie stepped up and brushed some of her hair out of her face. “There’s no happiness in death, Iron. There’re no jokes, no parties, no celebrations, nothing. It’s all darkness and silence. Who could possibly be happy with that?”

Rarity spoke up next. “What is to be cherished in death, darling? Like Applejack said, everything is taken away by death. Everything you held dear to you is gone. And once you’re gone, you’re gone forever. There’s nothing you can give back to those whom you love.”

Fluttershy kept the tears at bay as she spoke. “How can you experience the care and love you get from friends and family when you’re dead? All they can do is mourn you.”

Rainbow Dash and Spike stepped up together. “And think of how your friends and family feel when you’re dead, bro,” said Dash, “They gave you so much, but in the end it all meant nothing.”

“Iron, what we all mean to say is…” began Spike. He looked at the girls surrounding him, then at the Princesses, then at the mourners, and finally at Iron. “…you had no legitimate reason to kill yourself.”

Tenuta had by this point joined the Mane 7 at the pulpit, and when they saw her standing nearby they stepped aside and let her approach the microphone. “Do you understand now, Alex?” she asked, “Do you know why our hearts are broken? Do you know why we feel so robbed? It’s because you didn’t have to end your life, and it certainly didn’t have to end so early! Tonight you’re surrounded by friends who would be more than willing to listen to something you had to say. If you had something to complain about, we’d listen. If you felt like things weren’t going your way, we’d listen. If you felt like your life was pointless and there was no reason to keep on living, we’d definitely listen. And we’d do our best to remind you that there are plenty of reasons for you to keep living. All you had to do was say something. Why didn’t you say something? I know times have been hard. I know you’ve made horrible mistakes. But that doesn’t make you worth any less to us. Sure, we’d be pissed, but we wouldn’t want you to go die in a hole or jump in front of a moving train. You mean too much to us.” Here Tenuta lowered her head and sobbed. “Why couldn’t you see that, Alex?” she whispered, “Why couldn’t you see that?”

“Friends forgive each other, Alex,” said a voice from beneath the pulpit. Gallow clambered up from below and held her head near the microphone. “Do you know why I wanted to forgive you? It’s because our friendship meant more to me than anything else. I’m not going to pass off what happened between us as something trivial, but I’m not going to hold it against you for all time. I didn’t want you to go away and never come back. Why’d you leave me with just that option?”

Sadly, the questions that were asked that night would never be answered. The ponies quietly stepped down from the platform and rejoined their friends. Celestia and Luna stepped back up to the pulpit. “We shall now take Ironside to his final resting place. If anypony wishes to say a final goodbye to Ironside, please do so now,” said Celestia. One by one, each of the ponies filed past the coffin, each one saying “goodbye,” “farewell,” “rest in peace,” or something similar. Cadence and Armor stood beside the coffin for about two minutes before walking past. Blitz gave Iron’s shoulder a gentle shake. “So long, Al,” he said quietly. He lifted Sunny up to let her kiss Iron one more time.

“Goodbye, Uncle Alex,” she said in her tender voice. Tenuta was the last to come up to the coffin. Without a word, she rested her head on the pillow beside Iron’s head and cried. Ironside (his spirit, anyway) hugged her as tightly as he could and wept too.

“It doesn’t have to be this way, Iron,” said Twilight. Ironside lifted up his head and looked at her. He was met with a compassionate look. “I said it doesn’t have to be this way.” As white light emanated from her horn Twilight gingerly stepped forward and touched Iron’s forehead with hers. There was a brilliant flash, and then everything went black once more.