Broken Diamonds and Party Crashers
Broken Diamonds and Party Crashers
(Disclaimer: I have no affiliation with Hasbro or Lauren Faust, and certainly have nothing to do with My Little Pony™. I am simply an author writing a story for my own entertainment and for readers like you.)
(Author's Note: I'm terrible at writing out Big Mac's lines, any tips I should be aware of when attempting to do so?)
Rainbow Dash quietly walked along the path to Ponyville. Her intention was to visit Twilight's tree, first, and then the rest of her friends; after all, the unicorn was the one responsible for bringing them all together, and for the fun times they had together, the things they went through...She owed Twilight a lot of things, so she decided she'd make it up to her by visiting by her place first. Besides, she had forgotten to return a certain Daring Do book for five years, which she finally found in a dusty (Cloudy?) corner of her old cloud-home, and Twilight would have appreciated that greatly, being the crazy librarian she was. Before she entered the outskirts of the town, however, she saw one very familiar red stallion hauling a cart with an impressive amount of apples in it into town, chewing on a rather long stalk of hay. She walked up to him, although she wasn't entirely sure what she would say to him, or what his reaction to her would be like.
Big Mac quietly reflected on what life would be like, now that his sister, Applejack, was gone, leaving only himself and Applebloom here in Ponyville. His darned foolish sister had to go and keep everypony safe...Why couldn't she keep herself safe, as well, for once? He sighed as he pulled the cart along into Ponyville, when an all too familiar voice that he hadn't heard for years sounded out behind him.
"Hey, Big Mac. How's it goin'?"
The stallion turned his head around, and 'lo and behold, AJ's rival in fitness was there, a friendly, if somewhat concerned look on her face. He waved a hoof in greeting without breaking his stride. He took awhile to think of a way to use very few choice words to say, as was befitting to his nature; failing that, he decided to just speak what was on his mind.
"Not doin' so well, Miss Rainbow Dash, but ah rechon ahm holdin' on well enuff. Ah rechon yer here t' see mah sistah off at tha' funeral later?"
The pegasus nodded slowly, looking over in the general direction of the farm would be, if there weren't any buildings obstructing her view. "How have you two been doing now that both Granny Smith and Applejack are gone? I'm sure it hasn't been easy for the both of you." The red stallion nodded, continuing to chew on his stalk of hay.
"I won' lie, eets been 'ard, Miss Dash, but the Apple fam'ly gets through. Tho' ahm worried 'bout Applebloom. Poor filly's been clingin' onto AJ's hat like it's some kinda golden apple. T'aint much I kin do fer her, but, time heals all wounds, ah hope, 'specially hers." The stallion continued walking over to the market square, where Rarity's boutique was located. The market itself was busy, which was one thing that hadn't changed in five years. "How 'bout you, Miss Dash? How 'ave yew been doin' these past few years?"
The pegasus hesitated, wondering what she would say to him. Dare she lie to him? She doubted that he would buy lies of any sort, considering the Apple family somehow always knew what was the truth and what wasn't. She decided to not test that today.
"I'll be honest with ya, Big Mac, being a Wonderbolt ain't all that great, once ya actually get to the part where you actually get to do what they do in their careers, and, well, it ain't exactly working like I thought it'd work, Y'know? Not at all what I thought being in the Wonderbolts would actually be like, so I kinda feel ripped off..."
The two continued to walk further into the market in an awkward silence, when Big Mac suddenly stopped at an empty stall. He began to unpack bushels of apples, and after some convincing that she wouldn't drop any of them, the pegasus started to help him unpack. While she was working, he eyes occasionally darted over to Rarity's boutique; this did not go unnoticed by Big Mac, who casually dropped a suggestion for her.
"How 'bout ya visit Rarity, Pinkie, n' Twi over yonder, an' visit AJ later? Yer already 'ere, so yah might as well pop in an' visit them 'ere, n' visit mah sister afterwards."
The Wonderbolt was surprised, and turned her head around to survey the town. "Uh, alright then, Big Mac." She guessed that Big Mac thought she was going to visit his sister first, which was very understandable considering she was the pony that she had the most in common with. As she looked away from Big Mac, she took a mental look around the town to make sure that her knowledge of all the buildings was still relativity intact.
Sure enough, Rarity's boutique was just across the street. Across from the undamaged boutique itself, there was the towns library, largely unscathed save for two of its limbs torn off, and then there were a couple of houses and businesses that were just plowed into, a sure sign that the storm had traveled straight through them, Sugar Cube Corner being one of them. It was a strange and disturbing sight, seeing the once popular bakery of sweets now reduced to rubble, as well as other parts of the town while there were completely unscathed buildings to the sides of the damaged and destroyed buildings.
Was it really only yesterday, that these buildings were still here, unchanged, as they were five years ago? If she had decided to visit them yesterday, and have fun with her friends, only to return to Canterlot and then receive news of her friend's deaths there, would she be in much more pain? What if she had decided to stay in Ponyville on the day of the storm, would she be one of the ponies that were forever gone from this world, and would she replace one of her dead friends, or leave Fluttershy all alone in the world? Her increasing pessimistic pondering didn't last long, though, as an unusually quiet, but clear sounding voice sounded out from behind them. "Well, was'up, Dashin' Crasher?"
The Wonderbolt turned around to see none other than Vinyl Scratch, the self proclaimed 'Unicorn of bass' (Although it was often shortened to 'Bassicorn'), and long time friend and drinking buddy of hers. They had met after Vinyl had sponsored one of the earlier Wonderbolt events that Rainbow Dash was in, and graced it with her music; the pegasus swore that she could hear the thumping of the bass as she had the brief flashback, and she shook her head to clear the memory.
"Hello, Vinyl. When you said your sister was a dressmaker, I never thought it would be Rarity, of all ponies!" The unicorn smiled, clearly thinking the same thing.
"Yeah, who would've thought that such an awesome bass-lovin' Bassicorn like me would have such a high maintenance, prissy drama queen as a sister?" The two of them started laughing, and Big Mac sighed as they walked away. He hoped that Rainbow Dash would be able to stomach the pain of losing her friends well.
The two friends continued to talk about Rarity for awhile, sharing jokes and stories about her with good humor, and catching up with each other on recent news. This, however, only lasted for so long, and eventually, they began shuffling their hooves awkwardly, both not truly wanting to talk about the real reason why they were here. In an attempt to distract them further from it, Vinyl made a simple suggestion that was inspired from some growling in her stomach.
"Hey, Dash...Know any good places for some food? I don't know any good eating spots here, and you did live here before, right?" The pegasus, although knowing about a few good spots to grab a bite (Years ago), unfortunately, did not see any cafes that she remembered, as being away for five years tended to change business fast.
"Sorry, Vinyl, but I don't see any places here that I remember, so you're outta luck." This made the unicorn sigh, giving an almost exact impression of Rarity, and damn, did that hurt Dash.
"Ah, I hoped to put this off for just a little while longer...I miss her, Dash. And I'm hungry, but that's beside the point. Sure, we weren't the best two siblings when we were in the same room, but she was my sister, we came from the same parents, went to the same school, had the same...and...Uh...Yeah." Rainbow Dash couldn't help but snort at Vinyl when she began faltering. Said unicorn shot a nasty look at her. "Cut me some slack, Dash, we didn't really get along with each other, had almost nothing in common, and we never really did accept one another's professions. Hay, we barely even talked to one another after we separated, and even if we did somehow manage to see each other again, our conversations were forced." The pegasus flattened her ears, and looked over towards Rarity's boutique.
"Sorry, Vinyl. I didn't realize how much you two disliked each other. Did you two really not get along that well?" The unicorn thought for awhile, and nodded.
"Think of it this way, Dash. Do you like it when things are too slow?" The pegasus recoiled slightly, appalled at the idea that Vinyl would ever think that she would ever like slow things.
"What?! No! You've known me for four years now, you shou-" The unicorn cut her off abruptly, her point made.
"That's what I'm gettin' at, Dash. We just didn't click together, ya know?" The two were silent for a little while longer, then...
"How did she die, Vinyl? I know the basic idea of what happened, that she was having tea with Pinkie, as unlikely as that sounds...And that the building just caved in on them, just like that. There's gotta be something more, right?" The unicorn looked uncomfortable, and her eyes shifted from right to left for awhile before pointing at the boutique.
"We'll talk in her home. It's quiet, and I can't think of a better place to talk about her then inside the very house she used to live in." The Wonderbolt readily agreed, and the two of them walked towards the boutique, each wrapped up in their own thoughts. The entire trip was made in total silence by the two mares, and when they reached the boutique, Vinyl slipped in a key, and opened the door.
A sniffling sound was heard, and Rainbow Dash looked in the general direction of the sound to see Sweetie Bell, wiping her eyes clumsily with a handkerchief. She looked up at the two ponies, and while she was obviously in pain over losing her older sister, she still managed a small smile at the pegasus. "He-Hello, Ra-inbow Da-sh...Didn't exp-ect you h-ere..." She said, fumbling over her words. The pegasus felt a pang of pity for the unicorn, and stepped forward to comfort her, but for once, she was too slow. Vinyl smiled gently at Sweetie Bell, and nuzzled her gently, gaining a warm sigh of approval from Sweetie Bell. Her voice was now a little softer, hinted with a bit of a 'higher air', and sounded just...Like Rarity.
"Oh, do go outside and play with your friends, Sweetie Bell, I simply must talk with Rainbow Dash about my next line of dresses, and I do not believe that for a second that you would ever be interested in it! I would rather you get caught up in those...Ugh, crusades you and your friends get into. You don't have to come back anytime soon, alright, dear? Enjoy yourself while the day lasts!"
Sweetie Belle nodded slowly, a smile on her face. Rainbow Dash noted that she wasn't crying anymore, although her face was still a bit wet. She quickly wiped her eyes dry, and bounced out the door, quite happily. Before she left, however, she spoke a quick sentence that smacked Rainbow Dash in the face. "Bye, Rarity! Oh, and, I really like your new mane and the color you chose for it, it really brings out your coat!"
Rainbow Dash looked at Vinyl, mystified in the sudden way she talked like Rarity, and why Sweetie Belle just called her by her deceased older sister. Vinyl sighed, closing the door behind Sweetie Belle and explained. "Poor kid. She sometimes looks at me and either cries herself to sleep, or asks why I changed my hairstyle and the color of my mane to blue; she wants to believe that I'm Rarity, understandably. So I humor her...I might even adopt her, although I'll have to be careful not to corrupt Rarity's way of bringing her up." The DJ smiled sheepishly at the pegasus, who sighed, rubbing her suddenly smarting head.
"That's just wrong...Although, I don't think it can be helped, the poor filly, and...Ow...Now I'm getting a headache from all of this." Rainbow Dash then crashed down onto one of the many sofas Rarity had for some reason (Why did a pony drag a sofa around and collapse on it, even if they were a melodramatic drama queen? The reasoning behind it escaped her.), thinking about Sweetie Belle, and wondering how Applebloom and Scootaloo were coping alongside with her. Vinyl, likewise, laid back on a sofa across from Rainbow Dash, the grumbling in her stomach audibly heard. The two simply laid down like that for awhile, with only the sounds of their breathing showing any indication that they were still alive. Funny, how simply breathing softly gave you the indication, the certainty that you were alive and well. Dash knew she couldn't rush Vinyl; she would let her think about what she was going to say.
Eventually, Vinyl sat up in a manner that was not unlike Lyra, and Rainbow Dash looked up lazily at her. "Now, will you tell me how she died?" The unicorn nodded at her, and Rainbow Dash sat up as well, listening intently. Vinyl sighed softly before speaking, and looked over at the pegasus.
"As far as I know, Dash, this is the full story, and, if you were thinking about going to get the version of how Pinkie Pie died after this, it'll probably be the same identical thing I'm telling you right now, so it'd be kinda pointless to ask for any other versions of this story, considering it came from the Cakes, and, uh, well, they did see them die together." The pegasus nodded slowly, urging her silently to continue. Vinyl complied.
"Well, Rarity and Pinkie were enjoying some tea together, discussing about the plans for a party of sorts for Sweetie Belle's class, after all, they were going to graduate their school this year. Mr.Cake was bringing them some cupcakes...Well, when the storm cloud's thunder kicked in harder than my bass, naturally, my sister got scared and became the star drama queen she was, fainting on the floor. I think she even dragged one of these sofas into the home to faint on. I dunno how she managed to bring it inside, but ponies around the town suddenly started reporting sofas scattered around Ponyville in random but easily accessible places, with my sister's name labeled on them, so I think that's how she has such easy access to them wherever she is."
The pegasus couldn't help but laugh. No wonder Rarity was able to get a sofa so fast in the most random of times, it all made sense now! Vinyl shared a smile with her, then went back into telling the tale after Dash had calmed herself down, remembering the reason why she was here in the first place.
"Apparently she was shaked awake by Pinkie later; Mr. and Mrs. Cake were packing up their belongings and were moving towards the Apple Family's cellar, as it was deemed the safest place to go to in a storm like that. They were out the doors of the place and about a block away from Sugar Cube Corner when Pinkie remembered that she forgot all about Gummy, that weird, toothless...Thingy. Not sure where it is now, probably crushed somewhere under the remains of Sugar Cube Corner. Anyway, Pinkie told the others that she would go back for him, and my sister...For whatever reason she had, decided to follow her back into the bakery. Mr.Cake and his wife went on ahead, although he said that 'There was something that felt wrong' to him. Mrs.Cake never had a chance to ask why, because the reason for it came at them soon enough. Mr. Cake shouted at his wife to roll out of the way, and they both just narrowly dodged out of the way of a tree trunk...That tumbled over and smashed into the bakery.
"Of course, it didn't collapse on itself just like that, no, I'm giving the builders credit here, Dash; they knew how to build such a silly looking building and actually make it survive in a large storm. Unfortunately, they did not take into account flying trees, and the tree trunk had smashed into the main support beam, causing the building to go through some massive stress throughout the rest of the remaining support beams. There were shrieks and shouts coming from the building; I can only imagine how terrified they were, Dash, looking for Gummy while praying that the house would hold together just long enough for them to leave...But, you know by now that it wasn't gonna happen, Dash.
The unicorn took a moment to sigh deeply before continuing with the story.
"The bakery literally pancaked in on itself...The Cakes heard an extremely loud scream...And then, silence. Nothing but awful silence, mixed in with the dawning of the horror that just happened in front of their eyes. Oh, they hoped, like any other pony that they were still alive somehow, in the wreckage, as slim as that chance was. For what do ponies believe in when they see death, right in front of their eyes?"
The pegasus noticed that Vinyl was waiting for her to say something, and pegasus tried, tried her best to answer her question, but she couldn't, and, accepting the silence as her not having an answer, Vinyl moved on to the last of the tale.
"The Cakes, unfortunately, had to move on to avoid getting hit by the debris that was now being flung around the town, and eventually, after suffering from a few cuts and bruises, they managed to get to some safety in the Apple Family's cellar, and waited out through the rest of the storm. Mrs. Cake said it was like the dawning of a new morning...One that promised that something this bad would never happen again.
Vinyl wiped her eyes, and frowned. "You never realize just how large of a part a pony plays in your life until they're gone, Dash." The pegasus sighed, and felt a small part of her suddenly feel empty. She was right; you never did know how much somepony impacted your life until they were gone...And she had lost four of those ponies in one night. Vinyl looked at her, and pointed out the door. "Go on, get outta here, Dash, I know you're here to visit the rest of your friends; although the stories may hurt, just try to remember the good times you had with them, and, above all, keep them forever locked in your heart."
Rainbow Dash nodded slowly, although the last thing she wanted to do was listen into more stories about how her friends died. She offered a hoof to Vinyl, who punched it gently. She smiled at the DJ.
"Keep kickin' the bass, Vinyl."
"Keep flyin' pretty n' crashin' hard, Dash."
With that, the pegasus got up from one of Rarity's sofas, and walked out of the boutique, making her way towards Twilight's library.
Stats
Page generated in 0.029 seconds
Total duration
1,156 users online
1,844,276 hits today, 2,156,967 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Please, go one.
Toolkit
"she finally found in a dusty (Cloudy?) corner"
Make sure that you look for all of your pre reader's comments before posting. It can be pretty disruptive when someone else "barges" into the story. No offense to the pre reader.
You could easily do a control + F and search for "(", as that seems to be the format that yours is using, to quickly find his/her feedback and fix it.
Now onto Big Mac: I find that Mac tries to sound out his words. When writing remember that he talks very slow and deep. Try to steer towards small and relatively easy words. I also notice that in the show, Mac has less of an accent than AJ. For example, personally, instead of "eets been 'ard, Miss Dash" I might have put it as "been real hard, Miss Dash". There's not necessarily a need to always exaggerate the accent.
And most importantly, Big Mac should have very short lines. He doesn't talk much, so any dialogue should be pretty short and to the point.
I hope that I've helped!
This is depressing... Why do i like such sad stories! Poor rarity and pinkie
Wow. Sweetie Belle must be traumatized pretty bad.
Keep up the good work bro.
608897
Well, I'm not sure about it ending strong, but I'll try!
609132
Hm, haven't always noticed those little notes in the story, I kinda just assumed I wrote them in the first place.
I'll keep in mind about Big Mac, as well, thanks! I'll probably edit his lines after I'm through with the next chapter.
609973
I'll do what I can!
This is the first chapter I cried, mostly because Pinkie, RD, and Rarity are my favorite ponies, and when I heard Gummy probably died too, i felt even worse D:
612053gummy why gummy whyyyyyyyy the feels THE FELLS MAN THE FELLES WHYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!