Pony Pony Pony: The Thirty Minute Stories Collection

by -Jules

10: A Night On the Town

Sharp Eyes was not enjoying his night. Granted, he should have seen that coming, he was the one who volunteered for extra duty tonight, and he was the one who had applied to be one of Celestia’s bodyguards. But surely he couldn’t have been expected to anticipate this. When he volunteered for the Royal Guard he was expecting a lot of standing around, paranoia, and trying to watch things without being seen. Tonight, he found himself at a bar.

When he’d reported to Celestia’s private chambers at sundown he had expected to be standing guard in the hallway all night, but as soon as he knocked on the door a white unicorn with a bright pink mane had thrown it open and announced “We’re going out tonight. Leave the armor here.”

Three hours, two bars, and a half dozen mojitos later he was watching her order another. “Cel– er… Sunny? What exactly are we doing again?”

She spun to face him on her stool and nearly fell off. Steadying herself with a hoof she said, “I haven’t had a good chance to unwind since the whole Tirek thing.” Sharp watched nervously as she teetered back and forth for a moment before continuing. “So, I managed to clear my schedule for tomorrow morning, and decided that tonight I was going to go out on the town and have a drink or two. Now, I’ve decided I’m going to have several more. And then perhaps dancing. I like dancing. Have you been to any of the palace’s balls?”

“You had me on security last time.”

“So you didn’t dance?” She sounded very upset. “Not even at the Guard’s Ball?”

He tilted his head to the side and replied, “The Guards don’t have balls.”

Celestia struggled to keep a straight face before breaking into laughter. “You actually said it!” she managed to say between laughs.

Sharp furrowed his brow. Nothing in our training even came close to preparing us for this. I can floor a griffon in two punches. I can search any room in the castle in under a minute. But the princess getting drunk? This never even came up. He watched her down another drink before ordering yet another. Where is it even all going?

He was about to ask her what time she planned to return home when her hoof shot out to silence him. She turned to face him, her hoof still on his lips and stared for a minute. “It’s time to go dancing. Do you know anywhere?”

Sharp tried to open his mouth to speak but she didn’t move her hoof. He shook his head instead.

Celestia sighed, and turned to the bartender, repeating her question. He pointed out the front door at some sort of club just across the street. Her eyes lit up and she practically charged out the door. Sharp sighed, left bits to cover her tab, and trotted out behind her.

It only took ten minutes for Sharp to prove to her that he couldn’t dance, and twenty for her to vomit in a trash can. She lamented having “that last mojito” as Sharp helped her out the front door.

Sharp stopped in front of the club, turning so that she could see the palace in the distance before asking, “So Sunny, where to now?” Please say home, please say home.

“Well…” she thought hard for a few moments. “I guess we could go back to the castle.”

Oh thank you.

Celestia suddenly jumped off his side, standing unsteadily next to him, a very excited look on her face. “OR! Or we could go see Twilight! She’s always fun on nights like this! Have you met Twilight? She’s the purpley one with the horn and the wings and the little dragon. She’s kind of–”

“She was at the palace last week Cele–” Sharp looked at two ponies walking into the club. “er… Sunny... you introduced us.”

Celestia frowned. “Oh. Well, we could still go visit her. It’s always –”

“The trains have stopped running, and you gave the chariot pullers the night off. So we can’t actually go to see her.”

Celestia frowned harder and started to wobble on her feet. Sharp stepped in to support her again as she lost her balance and fell onto his side. “What was I just saying?” she asked looking up at him.

“You were saying it’s time to go home. It’s getting late.”

“But I don’t want to!” she pouted.

“Well that’s what’s happening, so you’re just going to have to deal with it,” he said as sternly as possible. I have never felt less prepared for a situation by our training. He started to walk down the street in the general direction of the palace, making sure the princess didn’t fall on the way.

---

Celestia was half asleep when they finally walked in through the gates of the palace. Sharp couldn’t quite remember when but she’d dropped her disguise somewhere along the way. Luna was waiting for them in the main hall with two of her night guards.

Sharp looked up at her, trying to appear as apologetic as possible in case this was his fault for letting it happen. Before he could open his mouth to say anything Celestia spoke. “Lulu! You missed it. It was so much fun. We had some mojitos and then we had some more and then we went dancing.”

Luna chuckled and gestured to her sister. “Help her to her room.” The two night guards took her from Sharp’s side without a word and began to lead her to her room.

“Princess I–” Sharp began to explain what had happened.

“She’s a bit of a lightweight isn’t she?” Luna interrupted.

Author's Note:

Time taken: Who's got two thumbs and forgot to set the timer again? This person

Prompt #10: "Red Solo Cup:" "Two ponies go to a bar; one gets extremely drunk."

I think this has already been done, but I never claimed these would all be completely original. This went through quite a few ideas in the planning stages. I wanted to do one about Spike turning 21 but the prompt specifies "two ponies" so that was out.
Prompt #8 is coming I swear. It's "write a story about ponies dancing" and I thought I had a cool idea that ended up being way longer than I guessed, so it's going to show up eventually but not as part of these.

Comments

[Hillbe]

nice drunk princess is best princess