You know... This isn't half bad. The characters aren't incompetent idiots nor are they over-powered messes.
A little grammatical problems here and there but nothing so glaringly obvious.
Some things that are going to worry me though: 1) Why are our main characters ALWAYS the underdogs in these HiE fics? Yours isn't completely generic but it's still a scenario of the guy getting his ass kicked. 2) A 'sex' tag. Oh no... Please god no. Inter-species relationships are just disgusting.
850019 well comparing strength diffrences of a humans and a pony its most likely that a pony would win. and for the sex tag...i don't know why its there, i didn't even check the box.
hmm this is certainly interesting lol, and seriously hearing others groan whenever tags of sex n human are together really pisses me off, freedom of opinion granted but jeez being all eww about it like a child is bothersome, i like fics for what the story is clean or not, comments like that just ruins any enjoyment for the author's work, im not makin a specific jab at anyone as im speaking in general.......
I'm looking forward to the next chapter of this. lols poor Alan left there all alone to face down a hoard of angry ponies. There are a few stereotypical things, but actually the fact that its a group of teenage brothers rather than just one guy makes up for it imo. I'm hoping that the misunderstandings and conflicts carry on for a little while. They are, after all the meat and potatoes of HiE fics, and to be honest i find that a story that carries on for a while with the whole humans vs pony thing is a lot more interesting than say one where there is a fight and then immediately they are forgiven and get to live in happy sunshine ponyville and make a lot of friends.
Anyway there was just one big thing i didn't understand and that was the characters decision to run BACK into the town filled with angry ponies rather then keep on going past shy and into the forest. But other than that one thing, great fic i give you two mustaches for this!
You know... This isn't half bad. The characters aren't incompetent idiots nor are they over-powered messes.
A little grammatical problems here and there but nothing so glaringly obvious.
Some things that are going to worry me though:
1) Why are our main characters ALWAYS the underdogs in these HiE fics? Yours isn't completely generic but it's still a scenario of the guy getting his ass kicked.
2) A 'sex' tag. Oh no... Please god no. Inter-species relationships are just disgusting.
not bad you have intrigued me good sir
850019
well comparing strength diffrences of a humans and a pony its most likely that a pony would win.
and for the sex tag...i don't know why its there, i didn't even check the box.
:D i like it
850343
I was speaking more on the lines of the fight before they went into Equestria with Steven.
EDIT: You can always change the tags you know.
hmm this is certainly interesting lol, and seriously hearing others groan whenever tags of sex n human are together really pisses me off, freedom of opinion granted but jeez being all eww about it like a child is bothersome, i like fics for what the story is clean or not, comments like that just ruins any enjoyment for the author's work, im not makin a specific jab at anyone as im speaking in general.......
hey trot
EEEEEEEEEEW THERE ALL HUMAN AND SHIT is anyponys response :] so for you it must be EEEEEEEEEEEEEW THERE ALL PONIES AND SHIT
When can I expect more? Tally ho, pip pip and all that jive.
dannysbyrne.files.wordpress.com/2010/09/the-english-gentleman-by-monocle.jpeg
I'm looking forward to the next chapter of this.
lols poor Alan left there all alone to face down a hoard of angry ponies.
There are a few stereotypical things, but actually the fact that its a group of teenage brothers rather than just one guy makes up for it imo.
I'm hoping that the misunderstandings and conflicts carry on for a little while. They are, after all the meat and potatoes of HiE fics, and to be honest i find that a story that carries on for a while with the whole humans vs pony thing is a lot more interesting than say one where there is a fight and then immediately they are forgiven and get to live in happy sunshine ponyville and make a lot of friends.
Anyway there was just one big thing i didn't understand and that was the characters decision to run BACK into the town filled with angry ponies rather then keep on going past shy and into the forest.
But other than that one thing, great fic i give you two mustaches for this!
I'm interested in seeing how this plays out. Will be watching for more.
Epic.
sooo, is there more?
yes there will be more, just planning ahead on more chapter. already got chapter three planned out, just need to write it
later on today
ya know you should listen to the jackass theme while reading the chase part and if i was with the brothers i would out FUCK MY LIFE!