Chapter 1. Trandoshan prisoner
Star Wars : The Missing Brother
Chapter 1 : Trandoshan Prisoner
"Nothing like a little precision teamwork, Deltas."
"And that was nothing like a little precision teamwork."
"Lose the chatter, Commandos. What now sir?"
"Awaiting further instructions, Forty."
"Delta Squad, regroup at Three-Eight's position for exfil."
"Boss, I've got a problem here!"
"Sev, where are you?!"
"Sector... multiple hostiles... sir!"
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After destroying the Cruiser with the turbolaser, Sev now waits for orders to be picked up with his brothers. Before he could even leave the turbolaser, he sees a group of battle droids clanking toward his direction and quickly hid behind the door. As if it couldn't any worse, they had a Spider droid along with them. He prays they don't see him.
"Delta Squad, regroup at Three-Eight's position for exfil." The clone adviser was a little loud through the comms. Loud enough for the droids to hear.
"Audio trace : Detected, Enemy unit : Pinpointed, Identified target : Clone."Spoke the large, dark blue Super battle droid looking at the door.
" It's a clone in that room! Blast him!" Exclaimed a Battle droid with a much higher pitch, monotone voice than its cousin, the Super.
"Damn."
Blaster bolts are now hitting the door he's taking cover behind.Sev is now against fifteen Battle droids, and two Super battle droids, a Droideka and a Dwarf spider droid and only a double sliding door as cover, Sev knew that not even he could take them all down. He holds off the incoming droids and calls in to his brothers for some help, "Boss, I've got a problem here!" he yells through his com-link over the firing blaster bolts. "Sev, where are you?!" replied the Delta squad leader.
While shooting the droids down, one of them got lucky and barely hit Sev's interior communication antenna. Sev's only communication to the rest of the Deltas was now critically damaged. "Sector one with multiple hostiles, sir!" Only statics was coming from the other side of the Comm-link. Sev threw an EMP grenade at the group of battle droids. The grenade explodes with a little wave of blue electricity and shock all droids within the area all making a malfunctioning, stuttering sound. Sev would've felt the electricity too if it wasn't for the door and his shielding that was similar to the droidekas.
Most common Battle Droids fell down, one Super battle droid had died while the other and the Droideka were critically damaged and barley anything done to the Spider Droid.
"Deltas, come in! I need back up and if you can hear me Scorch, now is NOT the time to make jokes and if you do, I'm coming after you once these clankers are dealt with." Nothing but statics on the other side once again. "Fierfek!" Sev kept trying to contact the others with no avail. Besides the his problem, he's amazed on how much blast that door that's protecting him could take. These wookies came prepared for the worse didn't they? Sev mused to himself.
After several long, dreadful minutes of the firefight, and mainly using his DC-15s side arm blaster because of it's unlimited ammo to reserve ammo, Sev got from his cover and looked at the door and checked out the blast it took. He whistles at the not only the door but everything around it. The wooden walls and floors where the droids were shooting is now charred black with some area steaming from the blaster bolts. "Damn, you wookies have some of the toughest materials out there in the galaxy. Maybe even tougher than me. Hehe as if that would ever happed." He joked.
He decided that he should take a little breather from the little fight and sat down and rest his back on a wall. Even a clone with master marksmanship like him needed some rest. He looked around his area making sure all droids were down."All skinny clankers down, Super clankers down, three legged, shield roller down, and big bad spider clanker down. And all that without some bacta. Wait till scorch hears about this." Sev talked to no one in particular while taking his helmet off.
Sev looks at an oily puddle to see his blue visor and party the rest of his helmet, he hears a metallic groan and looked at the Super battle droid barley holding on to its life pointing his blaster at Sev with no steadiness what so ever. Sev pulled his side arm and blast a couple bolts into it. Once satisfied with the last groan the droid gave out as it dies off, he placed his pistol away.
Sev sighed and looked at his blue visor of his dirt covered, battled damaged helmet. Knowing that Kashyyyk's oxygen was poisonous to human, Sev risked it and to off his helmet holding his breath in to see his face "Maybe i do need some R&R." said quietly seeing how fatigued he looked through the reflection. He then looks at his armor. Just as damaged along with his famous blood red markings. Funny on how some say it's paint while others say it's actual blood. As if he would ever tell anyone, let them wonder about it. It's a funny thing for others to think about the hunter's red marked armor. "Telling Scorch the kills I got today sounds good enough as my R&R. Lets see here, nineteen droids down, two being supers, a destroyer and a spider droid, doing that deserves some extra points so twenty five sounds nice.". He quickly place his helmet back on and sat there.
After resting for ten to fifteen minutes, Sev got up and started walking. With his comms broken, Sev plans to move to safe area to the wookies and use their communications to contact the republic to pick him up.
Sadly, Delta's fearsome brother didn't know that his brothers left for because of some stupid order. And sadly, a Trandoshan was stalking him from the ceiling.
When the moment was right, the fat Trandoshan pounces on the commando knocking him down and pinning him. The clone got a few punches on him and one in the eye but the fat one managed to hold him
More Trandoshan appeared to come out of from every vents and helped the other with the clone. "Taken down by you fat lazy lizards again?!?! And whats with you fatties in vents haar'chak?!" Sev yelled looking at all the yellow green lizards.
A Trandoshan calmly walked up to sev. This one is wearing decorative yellow armor unlike the others with plain yellow flight suits. Hmm must be the leader of his group. Sev thought to himelf. The one that Sev assumed to be the leader kneed down to him and looked at Sev. "Hmmm, very good Obbas for cap-BANG the clone, he will make a good sla-BANG." The leader growls eyes on the clone's visor. He stood up. "Knock h-BANG out and put him in the one of the cells with the wook- BANG BANG BANG
__________________________________________________________________________
"WAKE UP! FEEDING TIME!! I HOPE YOU SOON TO BE SLAVES LIKE BREAD AND WATER FOR BREAKFAST AGAIN!!!." Yelled the Trandoshan prisoner to all in holding cell A while banging on the walls as he passed by the cells with a cart of food.
Sev woke up on his bed from his dream.This time he was interrupted by someone rather than waking up on his own. Ever since i've been captured, I've been dreaming about this over and over again. Why can it be something nice like me killing geonosians? He asked himself.
The Trandoshan began sliding two plates and two trays under the bars of each cells holding two to five different cellmates. One cell specificy holding a certain clone and two wookies in it. The cell watcher came by the Sev's cell and looked at with disgust and spat on their food and slid it under the bars.
"How's the black eye, Fatass?" Sev asked with a smirk. "It's Obbas you slave! And thanks to you, I can't see far because you darkened my good eye!" Obbas yelled at Sev. Sev didn't flinch to this fail of intimidation. "So i'm guessing it's 'swell' then?" Sev joked making the hall sector laughing. Obbas threw water at Sev."So sad that you are nothing without your armor and weapons, clone." Obbas taunted. "I've been hit harder with rain on Kamino when i was eight." Said the soaking Sev. "And thats why you're going to be a slave to Jabba the Hutt once we get there. Surely you have heard of what Jabba do to his slaves, right? especially males." Obbas spat out at Sev. When he left the massive,wookies that were by Sev growled with concern in their voice. "Yeah I'm fine, just tell make sure everyone is ready for our little breakout after dinner. And once I have that , I'm stuffing his intestines into his stomach. After that, you guys can do whatever you want to him. So for now, we eat what we can for the strength." Sev whispered hoping that Obbas didn't hear their escape plan.
After spending two weeks in on a slave ship, Sev has made a plan and is determined to escape and leave to reunite with his brothers. But not before killing all the slave holders on board with his new vode in the dungeon.
Once Sev knew that Obbas was gone, he held his half filled glass that his wookie cellmates were kind enough to give him their share to drink through the bars that has seem to got ever prisoners attention and announced "My cellmates, tonight is the night we escape. Eat and drink all you can, because we all need this strength for it. Though not all of us will make it out, your death will NEVER, be in vain. To freedom." He said not to loudy but it sure got to everyone. The other prisoners raised their glass from where they were sitting while those by the bars stuck their glasses out for a second and pulled back in to drink. "Heh these Trandoshans slavers are really nostalgic, they even have these old prison cells with bars." Sev spoke to his cellmates. One of them growled. "Yeah, either what I said or they're that poor." Sev chuckled while eating his breakfast.
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Most predominant to me would be to watch your tenses, e.g is/was, has/had, -s/-ing/-ed.
I greatly appreciate that you've adopted much more proper Mando cursing :)
4539237 You're welcome dude and thanks for the little advice
Huh, this is the first Star Wars: Republic Commando story I've seen! I will watch this story very closely... very...
moillusions.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/Body_paint_eye_lips.jpg
So, I just read your first chapter of your first ever story...
I'm neither impressed nor distressed with how your chapter turned out. You have so many mistakes in this story, you might want to try and hire an editor or review each chapter closely; you commonly misspelled droid and don't really offer much into the detail of the robots nor the Trandoshan's themselves, the story itself doesn't immerse me completely but that is expected of a first story. It's been awhile since I've played the game myself, but you might want to add more detail to characters and you've definitely got to watch your tenses.
I did some research on some other stories, and found a few of your comments on another one. Your story seems to be reminiscent of a few others, try not to fall into cliches or copy another, is all I can say about that. But it's still beginning and things can and possibly will change. I hope this helped.
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4540138 thanks dude,will do. Iv'e been reading the others so i won't be called on with copyright when writing this story and all and like i said, i'm not all that good when it comes to writing but I am trying. And it will change cause i will steer from the other related stories and it did help thanks bruh.
4540265
No problem brah.
troll.me/images2/edward-snowden/no-problem-just-doing-my-job-maam.jpg
Should have been Gregor
4542149 Remeber that Gregor was on Sarrish. He no where near Kashyyyk
Still
This is interesting... but I kind of wish Sev would end up with a nice Twi'lek girl to keep him company.
Especially if she were to combine dance moves with a sword or something to become a whirlwind of steely death.
4562793 lol the only company that Sev needs is his sniper rifle and his brothers. But mostly his sniper rifle