The Age of Ascension

by BronyBrotherhood

Hospital Gowns, Full Johnstons, and Face Punching

Author's Note:

This story was made by me (of course) and my trusted friend srtux. Thanks for sticking by me through this dude. I changed the draft a bit, as you can see. Don't worry 'bout it.

This is my first ever fimfic and so I apologize in advance if it's crap. Also, I'm British, so it can get a bit wordy. Don't start screaming at me for this. Please.
P.S. A full Johnston is a handshake/hug that goes like this

1) Shake normally.
2) Use your free hand to grasp the other person's shoulder.
3) Pull them in for a hug
4) Grin like a madman as they squirm. XD

Enjoy Chapter One of this story!

I just love waking up in a bed that isn't mine. I also love the fact that all I can remember is my name and age. It just cant get any more bloody cliché, can it? I thought. I growled softly to myself. This stuff happens in books, not in real life!

I should think of a name for this. How about Cliché Amnesic Travel Syndrome?

Wow. Spells CATS.

Bloody Hell, this is not the time, John! Honestly, I really do need to get this voice of mine under control. I hear a scream, which dissipates the thoughts fogging up my noggin. I bolt upright, and then notice there is a boy - about my age - In a hospital bed opposite mine.

"Hello." Says the boy.

"Hi?" I reply back, unsure of what else to say. I mean, this isn't exactly a nice place to meet new people, unless of course you're Jigsaw, in which case you're in a freaking nightclub.

In all sincerity, I was not kidding about the living conditions. The place looked on it's last legs. It was dirty, damp, and there was moss and clumps of what I think was rat poo on the walls. The boy turns and grins at me.

"Wow. Nice place. Should come here more often."

I grinned back. I guess he's not a bad guy, I thought. Go on, introduce yourself, ninny! I got out of my bed and grimaced. I was wearing a pale blue hospital gown that was, to my utter horror, TOO BLOODY SHORT!!!!!! The voice just started to scream those words over and over and over...

"Hey, you ok there dude?" The boy asked. "You going to have a seziure? 'Cause if you are, I'm leaving you there." I grimaced. Apparently I was making a very strained face that was bright red. With a few splotches of purple.

"Sorry. Just having a discussion about the, uh, clothing choice these lovely people seem to have given us." The boy nodded. "Oh, and also, before I forget, my name's John. What's yours?"

"I'm Aloysius." Aloysius grinned. "Pretty suave, huh?"

Damn! I thought. That is a suave name. Come on Mum and Dad! Why John?

Aloysius turned to me and held out his hand. I took it and cried on the inside. Not because of the hand, or that I'm a germophobe, it was because of the fact that he pulled me in for a full Johnston, which is bad enough on it's own, but because of the gowns it made it that much worse.

After that uncomfortable episode, we decided to go outside, which prompted a long and, rather childish, argument about who should go out the door first. I won't go into detail, but it went something like this:

"You go."
"You retarded? Have you SEEN the look of this place?"
"Just go."
"No."
"Yes."
"No."
"No."
"Yes... Aw, Fuck!"

(John - 1. Aloysius - 0.)

I grinned. "Works every time. Don't worry, If you die, It will be for a good cause."

"And what would that be, sir?" Aloysius challenged.

"I then have a greater chance of not dying because of you." I smirked.

(John - 2. Aloysius - 0.)

Aloysius flipped me off.

The hallway was - get this - even shittier than the room. The hallway actually had a few dead rat skeletons on the floor.

"Jeeeesus," Grimaced Aloysius. "No freaking housework done here in a while huh? Oh by the way, before I forget, why do you think we're here? Do you think that maybe..." Aloysius trailed off. He met my gaze and I knew why he trailed off. We both shuddered.

At that exact moment the door to the immediate right of us let loose a shrill scream. I'm not proud to say this, but I shit my pants. What else do you expect me to do after you have the conversation we had, AND you have the shitty hallway... thats abandoned... And eerily quiet... If this turns out to be my version of the Walking Dead, I'm gonna be so pissed...

We had another childish argument about the door-opening thing again. Aloysius won that one, and he used the same technique I did, sneaky bastard...

(Aloysius - 1, John - 2)

I nearly punched the poor girl who was waiting for us in the room. Just to get things straight, I didn't want to hit her. Think of it as my survival switch. Punch the crap out of thing, ask questions later. Never failed me before... That's because you've never had to use it, John.

Aloysius was a little mad when he pulled my arm away. He's got fast reflexes.

"The fuck, dude? You got a vendetta against girls, or something? You a wife beater?"

(I didn't like that last remark, but I guess it's a valid diss. Aloysius - 2 , John - 2. And yes, this is going to be a thing.)

I just glared at him. "So sorry about that. I'm kinda high-strung." And then, the girl did the weirdest thing. She smiled and said, "It's ok," before punching me in the face.

Damn! That girl can punch!

The girl held out a hand. "I'm Dei-dei. You are?"

"John." I grinned as she pulled he up and gave me a - thank god - normal handshake. I let out a huge sigh. Oh thank God, she didn't full Johnston me.

Dei-dei looked at me funny, but decided to let it slide.

Aloysius had abandoned us to go back to our room. He found two silvery backpacks embroidered with gemstones. One was labeled "Aloysius" and the other was named "John". Aloysius' bag was untouched, but mine was wide open with MY STUFF spread out on his bed. He was currently failing to open my computer. "Damn! This password hint is crap! What the fuck does 90-29-09302 mean?"

(Don't even try to figure it out.)

I coughed, and Aloysius looked at me guiltily with a grin on his face.

"If you're gonna look at porn, just do it on your own computer."

(Damn that was good! John - 3, Aloysius - 2)

Aloysius gave me the finger. Again. Dei-dei decided to look for her own bag.

"Don't let me walk back in here to see you two fapping at the computer screen."

(Oh snap. I guess this is just going to become a threesome tally. Dei-dei - 1, John - 3, Aloysius - 2)

I grinned at her sarcastically. "I'll try."

I looked at my stuff, seeing what the childnappers had been so kind as to bring. Here's what was in my bag.

-My laptop
-My phone
-My swiss-army knife
-A bundle of bright clothes
-A piece of paper with very regal handwriting on it.

"Hey, what's that? What's it say?" Asked Aloysius. I read it aloud.

Here are some clothes. We also decided to take these three items. They look to be useful. Meet us in Canterlot as soon as it is possible

It was signed with Celestia and Luna's marks.

I paled. Aloysius looked at me, concerned.

"You know those marks?" He scanned my face, looking for any sign of an answer. Dei-dei came back into the room, carrying a similar backpack. "Hey, Dei-dei. You know what these marks are?" Interrogated Aloysius. Dei-dei frowned.

"Nope. Never seen them before in my life. Why, are they important?" She read the letter. "Could be a cult... Or an obscure country's flag..."

I sighed in submission. I was going to have to tell them sooner or later. Damn it all! I meet some nice people and now they're going to treat me like a total retard. For once, I didn't disagree with my voice. Here goes...

"Ok. Aloysius. Dei-dei. Listen." I was sick to the pit of my stomach. "Do you know the TV show My Little Pony?"

They both frowned a little at this question, but nodded. "That's the 3 year old's show about friendship and crap, right?" asked Aloysius.

Dei-dei had put two and two together, successfully came out with four, and punched Aloysius in the shoulder.

"Hey! What was that fo- Oh. Ooooooh. Oh. Sorry dude. Continue." Aloysius looked sheepish.

I pressed on. "Well. These markings are from two specific ponies in the show."

"Explain what these mean, please." asked Dei-dei.

"Later." I just wanted to tell them this first. "They say meet us in Canterlot, right? Well then. All we have to do is get outside and then I can probably direct us there." I then remembered that we were all still wearing our hospital gowns. "We shall change first though." I'm not going to bloody well have an audience with the princesses of Equestria in a bloody nightie!

After we had changed and gotten ready to leave, I decided it would be a good idea to grab a weapon. I used my swiss army knife, Aloysius grabbed a fallen wooden beam, and Dei-dei had found a metal poker back in her room. We walked to - what we thought was - the main lobby exit, thanks to the many LATIN maps in this godforsaken place. I glanced at the others, to see if they were ready. Both of their faces were masks of grim determination. I exhaled slowly, then charged at the door with a cry of "SPARTAAAAAAAAA!"

Comments

[RachWrites]

"John Tomas" LOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL....sorry.

[Mr Marshmallow]

Saw the image, desc said he killed a bunch,
Thought it was about a Portal Turret in Equestria

[nothingtoseehere]

Looks like it could be interesting. Faved and upvoted.

[BronyBrotherhood]

Oh good. People like it.

[BronyBrotherhood]

4329211 Sorry about that, Magnetic Darkness. Nothing's really happened yet to give you hints about that pic and the desc. We will try to get that done in the next few chapters. Not a bad idea for a story though........