A Dragon's Duty

by CalebH

Chapter 5

Spike opened his eyes with a broad grin. Today was the best of days. It had been a week since his return from Canterlot and March had just come to an end. Princess Celestia had given him a present to mark the occasion. As he was leaving the castle she had let him know that Friendship Castle would be getting a new caretaker and that he should show her some local color.

Spike couldn't help the evil chuckle as plans upon plans took shape in his devious mind. There was a new Gryphon in town. A gryphon who didn't know about Ponyville's resident dragon. A gryphon who was expecting somepony too old to dust his castle. A gryphon with feathers that puffed out so hilariously when they were startled. A gryphon who was about to have a sudden lesson in just how seriously their new hometown took April Fools’ Day.

Spike scratched his chin and wondered. ‘Big Scary Dragon’ was usually the way to go but he’d been doing that routine for years now, it was past time to shake things up a bit. He briefly considered the ‘Pinkie Pie Special’ but that required at least three of him and a playful disobedience science’s most revered tenets.

Even thinking about it gave Spike a mild headache that was the universe’s way of telling him to watch his flank. ‘Big Scary Dragon’ it was then.

“It’s a good thing there’s always new ponies to pull it on or this shtick would get old real fast,” Spike said to himself with a sigh.

He climbed to his claws and began going about his morning routine. He once again lamented the fact that no toothbrush in existence could stand up to his fangs as he shoved a clawful of sand into his mouth. Even steel brushes didn’t survive a day of use. Spike gave a grunt as he spit, concluding that it was the price of being able to eat gems.

He slowly made his way along his path, pausing every so often to enjoy the sunshine. Winter wrap up had been more than a month ago and now even the wild Everfree was starting to show the vibrantly beautiful signs of his favorite season.

Ponyville truly was a sight to behold with wildflowers blooming along its packed earth streets and in the fields surrounding it. Canterlot could keep its groomed lawns and shaped hedges, here life was celebrated not controlled. Even the Crystal castle seemed to be in bloom with veins of ruby and amethyst running through its upper portions.

As he made his way to the village a sharp whistle above him caused him to turn his head upward. As he watched the pie fall gracefully towards him he concluded that he really should have seen this coming, Fruity was still honor bound not only to sell the Pinkie Pie Patented Face Pie on April Fools’, but to sell them for a bit a dozen. Dizzy had been camped out for two days to get first choice on the “ooeyest gooeyest, most yummyriffic face splattereyest pies in the world”.

Still, free pie.

Spike’s dexterous tongue made short work of the mess covering his face. Once his eyes were clear he saw Dizzy scooting a cloud laden with pies off to find another victim. Spike walked the rest of the way into Ponyville with a smile on his face and a spring in his step.

Passing through the town Spike was amused to see the cautious distance ponies usually kept from him had all but disappeared in a discreet frenzy of bumper stickers and hastily written marker messages. From afar a certain Pit Boss watched like a hawk to see what section of Spike’s body would be the last to gain some form of adornment.

Ponyville’s April Fools betting pool was no laughing matter.

Spike smiled confidently and pretended not to notice the quiet storm that followed in his wake. He even stopped to chat with a few ponies, giving others a chance to get to his underside while he was “distracted”. The smart, and slightly illegal, money Spike had bet via a proxy was on his face. Ponies may brave slashing claws and crushing weight for the sake of hilariously overdoing a bad joke and stacking the odds in their favor, but none of them were brave enough to get on the business end of a fire breathing monster.

He concealed a grin as he tucked his left wing in tighter. No sense in not giving some lucky pony a run for their money.

“Well that’s really interesting Spike,” Rosemary said as she craned her head up higher to try and draw his gaze.

“Is it allergy season again? I feel like I may have a rash coming on,” Spike said as he brought a foreleg up to scratch his chest.

“Oh, heh, yeah pollen everywhere with all the…flowers and stuff, yeah.” Spike felt his claw slice through a bumper sticker as the mare rambled on. He brought his claw up to his face with half a sticker still attached to it.

“Huh, somepony’s carriage doesn’t know that it brakes for long horns anymore. Y’know back in my day they cut off hooves for littering like this.”

“Hehe right, gotta crack down on that littering,” Rosmary said nervously. “I’ll see you later Spike.”

Spike waited patiently for the mare to clear his path. From the sound of things the swarm of ponies had finished their work and were dispersing. Once it was safe for him to start moving again Spike gave Pit Boss a conspiratorial wink and made his way to Friendship Castle.

He paused outside the front entrance. The castle had grown somewhat over the years but even the large doorways had quickly become too uncomfortable for him to move through. Ultimately Spike had moved out of his too-small home thirty years ago. He had stopped by from time to time to dust and clean the castle but Spike had run into the same problem, he was simply too big to get all the nooks and crannies.

Of course now there was a new gryphon who was in for some good old fashioned hazing.

He ducked into the castle, careful not to let his spines damage the doorframe. He silently padded through the entrance way until he got to the throne room. They had hated calling it that. Twilight was the only ruler and even she thought thrones were more imposing than a ruler should be. Now it was just a name, the thrones had been reabsorbed by the living castle and all that remained was a headrest that would put Spike at eye level with a pony.

And the gryphon, the gryphon was definitely new. He was young, only just breaching into his true maturity a few years ago. His lion torso transitioned into dapper black feathers that were preened and aligned immaculately. He had sharp golden eyes and two golden feathers accented the crest of feathers that was the gryphon equivalent to a mane. He carried an air of austere dignity that only a butler could truly possess.

Spike couldn’t conceal a grin as he made his way behind the cleaning gryphon. Spike brought his snout inches away from the gryphon’s head and let out a chest rattling growl. This growl was one part of Spike’s draconic abilities that he was particularly proud of for two reasons: one was that it was perhaps the most masculine sound possible(never mind that dragonesses could also make it), and two it was the one thing he could do that would consistently startle Rainbow Dash.

Time seemed to slow down as Spike watched the hairs along the gryphon’s back stand up one by one. His feathers seemed to explode outward all at once as his head jerked around. Spike could see the gryphon’s chest expand and his beak gape open as he gasped for breath.

Dizzy sat proudly atop her cloud. It had been a productive morning for her and a messy pie-filled morning for a few dozen other ponies. She had one of the projectile/treats left and was about to dig in. She lifted the pie tin up to her mouth, taking a moment to sniff of the heavenly aroma.

An eagle’s screech pierced the air like a spear, startling Dizzy and causing her to drop the pie. It disappeared through the cloud below her and she dived through the cloud to try and save her treat. She nearly caught it once but instead of saving it she caused it to start spinning as she chased it to the ground.

The pie’s slow, graceful spin looked as if it might land face up until Fruit Cake stepped into its path.

Dizzy flew down to the pie covered Cake and greeted her with an abashed giggle. “Hehe, sorry Fruit. I was eating it and it slipped.”

“I just know that somehow, someway this is all Spike’s fault.”

Author's Note:

Happy April Fools' Day and remember to only use pies that are water soluble.