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Kickstart My Heart1,162 words
Dinner and a Movie2,776 words
Crazy Little Thing Called Love1,855 words
All You Need Is Love1,910 words

Crazy Little Thing Called Love

Nineteen-sixty-nine staggered down the hallway, feeling rather intoxicated. It stumbled down the stairs and out the front door, skipping in time with a tune in its head that was playing drunkenly. It then froze as it was contacted.

“Alpha...Alpha! Can you hear me?”

“Yes, my queen!”

“What the hay is wrong with you!? I just got a sudden surge, and now it sounds like you’re in a tunnel!”

The changeling heard the shuffle of papers on Chrysalis’s end.

“Are those...papers?”

The voice of Chrysalis sighed inside of its head. “...yes.”

“Why is there paper in the Hive?”

“Because these me-damned ponies apparently require a lot of paperwork!”

“Paperwork on what?”

“You know, stupid things...changeling ponysonas, resources reports, Individual dossiers...ridiculous things.”

“Why don’t you just have a gamma do it?”

“You don’t understand...these are things only I know...and these forms have to be filled out in triplicate! I’ve mind-linked with two gammas right now to lighten the workload. Anyway, what was that surge I felt from you?”

“I...I don’t know. It happened when I kissed Vinyl—”

“—you mean that unicorn slut you rutted?”

“MOM!”

“I don’t see what the problem is, I’m just calling a spade a spade.”

“Anyway, I kissed Vinyl, and I got this feeling inside of me, like...I don’t know if this makes sense, but it’s like the Hive was in Vinyl, or Vinyl was the Hive…” Chrysalis chuckled through the connection. “What’s so funny?”

“Oh, nothing. It appears you’ve got a dose of unfiltered love.”

“Unfiltered love? What’s that?”

“It’s raw, unprocessed love. You see, changeling horns filter the love in order to properly process it, but a kiss from a pony bypasses the circuit entirely, causing it to splatter about all of your organs. In short, you’re love drunk.”

“Well, can you drain it from me?”

Chrysalis laughed through the connection. “There’s no way I’m touching that with a ten-foot pole. Transferring unfiltered love through a changeling is akin to being struck by lightning.”

“So what do I do? I have this song in my head that I can’t shake!”

“Then sing it.”

“What! There’s never been a changeling song before that wasn't sung by you!”

“Nor a changeling pornstar or restaurant owner. You’ve done a lot of firsts, my little changeling. Don’t disappoint me now.” The connection then cut off, Nineteen-sixty-nine shaking its head.

“Sing a song…”

----

“Now what makes you think you’re in love with a changeling?” Octavia asked.

Vinyl sighed, then smiled. “I don’t know. I just feel it.” Octavia raised an eyebrow.

“What is there to love in a changeling?”

Vinyl shook her head, giggling. “You didn’t see it. It was so polite and proper, not to mention humble. It also knew so much. You wouldn’t think it was twelve just by talking to it.”

Octavia’s eyes widened. “Twelve!? Don’t you think that’s highly inappropriate?”

Vinyl shook her head. “Nah. Changelings apparently mature at eight.”

“Seems kosher to me,” a muffled voice that came from Octavia’s room said. Octavia angrily turned to the direction of her room.

“GARBLE! What did I tell you about speaking unless spoken to!?”

“To not do it,” Garble said.

“Do you have anything to say for yourself?”

“Sorry.”

“Sorry, what?”

“Sorry, mistress.” Octavia nodded and smiled, turning back to Vinyl, whose right ear was twitching. Octavia’s eyes widened. She hadn’t seen Vinyl’s right ear twitch in years.

“I think I feel a song coming on,” Vinyl said as she rose to her hooves.

Octavia facehooved. “Damnit, Vinyl! And we were doing so well!” Upbeat music started playing in the air around them. Octavia’s eyes widened. “No, no, stop the music! I will not have a song number in this—”

----

Nineteen-sixty-nine was happily skipping down the street singing the song that was in its heart.

Everything’s amazing, and this feeling is proof
I’ve got the whole of Equus in the frog of my hoof

----

Vinyl danced around the apartment, twirling around so that her dress caught up in the flow. Octavia was sitting on the couch grumpily. Vinyl started singing.

Everything is magical, and that’s the honest truth
I’m in love with a changeling—

Octavia cut in with

—Which is rather uncouth

----

Vinyl and the changeling, unbeknown to each other, sang the next line together in perfect harmony.

Love’s a wondrous tune when there’s someone by your side to help you croon!

Nineteen-sixty-nine then leapt up to a streetlight, twirling around it as the changeling sang.

When you’re in the Hive, you’re never alone
And that can make you feel real small

----

Vinyl leapt up onto the couch and belted out the next line.

But when you’re in love, a feeling comes from above
That helps you stand up real tall

Vinyl then started singing with another voice, unknown to her.

Everything’s amazing, and this feeling is proof
I’ve got the whole of equus in the frog of my hoof
Everything is magical, and that’s the honest truth

Vinyl then sang

I’m in love with a changeling—

Octavia cut in with

—Which I still find uncouth
Love is playing Cello

Vinyl responded with

The feeling you get is oh so mellow

Garble then popped out of Octavia’s room, his claws tied to a broom behind his back.

Love is swimming in lava!

“Garble!” Octavia yelled as she galloped over to Garble and bucked him back into her room. Vinyl countered with

It’s hotter than a cup of java!

The unmistakable sound of a broom hitting the ceiling below them rattled their floor, when a voice below them sang

Love is SHUTTING UP!

Vinyl did a twirl and replied

It’s value can’t fit in a measuring cup!

Pinkie then popped out from behind the couch, singing

Love just makes me smile!

Octavia stared at the intruder, slack jawed. Vinyl grasped Pinkie’s face in her hooves and sang.

And a joyous smile’s always in style!

----

Nineteen-sixty-nine was still skipping happily down the road when it belted out the next line with a far-off partner.

Love’s a wondrous tune, when there’s someone by your side to help you croon!
I have everything that I want right inside of me
Love is filling me to the brim
Quite Excitedly

Nineteen-sixty-nine then saw Princess Luna fly overhead with a changeling in tow, a batpony following her. She sang out

Love is raising the moon

The changeling that Luna was towing, who had previously been unconscious, opened its eyes and joined in with

With someone to laugh

The batpony following Luna shook his head and knocked out the changeling, singing

And someone to cocoon

Nineteen-sixty-nine then passed the Canterlot Amphitheater, where Trixie was leaving followed by her two biggest patrons, Jet Set and Upper Crust, with Fancypants leaving as well, taking another direction. Trixie sang

Love’s powerful and great

Jet Set and Upper Crust joined in, harmonizing their lines.

With someone to switch
And someone to bait

Nineteen-sixty-nine trotted happily past an earth pony streetwalker, who cantillated

Love’s a filthy whore

Nineteen-sixty-nine nodded and responded

You can’t find it at your local store!

The singing changeling then passed a strip club, where apparently they give lap dances outside. The club owner sang

Love’s a pretty stripper

The pegasus stripper struck a pose and sang with half lidded eyes

With someone to dance

The unicorn who she was dancing for flicked her a bit, which she caught in her mouth, sang

And someone to tip ‘er

Nineteen-sixty-nine skipped by Donut Joe’s, where Donut Joe sang

Love is Boston Creme

The changeling nodded happily and returned with

The taste of it makes me beam!

Nineteen-sixty-nine finally caught up to Fancypants, who sang

Love is so high-class!

The changeling sang without missing a beat.

Finer than the finest glass!

Discord popped into the scene and sang

Love is so chaotic!

The changeling paused, shook its head, and responded.

...yes it is!Love’s a wondrous tune when there’s someone by your side to help you croon!

----

Vinyl, Pinkie, and Garble were engaged in a dance number, while Octavia was gripping onto the couch for dear life. All of them were singing

I have everything that I want right inside of me
Love is filling me to the brim
Quite Excitedly

----

“...Quite excitedly!” Nineteen-sixty-nine sang as it entered its flat, only pausing when it saw Nineteen-eighty-seven staring at it, holding a Train Trend magazine in its magic. “Uh, hey.”

“Hey,” Nineteen-eighty-seven responded, flipping a page.

“So, uh, how was your night?” Nineteen-sixty-nine asked, hanging its jacket up.

“Terrible,” Nineteen-eighty-seven replied, “I had a couple dine and ditch on me. That’s one-thousand forty bits I’ll never see again.”

Nineteen-sixty-nine looked down, then grasped two bit notes from its jacket and handed them to Nineteen-eighty-seven. “Here. Don’t tell anyling I did this for you.”

Nineteen-eighty-seven looked up and grasped the notes, stuffing them in its uniform. “Far be it from me to turn down free money...but what’s the occasion?” Nineteen-sixty-nine trudged over to the couch, suddenly noticing how achy its hocks were. It plopped on the couch next to Nineteen-eighty-seven.

“Unfiltered love exposed a song in my heart.”

“Is that so?” Nineteen-eighty-seven flipped another page. “Want me to drain it for you?”

Nineteen-sixty-nine shook its head. “Don’t. It’s apparently like being electrocuted.”

“Noted.”

----

Outside, a changeling designated as Nineteen-thirty-three smelled it. It was the strongest, purest source of love it had ever experienced. It slowly charged up its horn and went to absorb the love.

----

Nineteen-sixty-nine and Nineteen-eighty-seven were inside their flat, Nineteen-sixty-nine resting off a vigorous choreography routine, Nineteen-eighty-seven still reading Train Trend. Nineteen-sixty-nine then clutched its chest.

“Someling’s trying to drain my love!” Nineteen-sixty-nine said. Nineteen-eighty-seven put the magazine down and stepped outside of the flat.

“Um...Alpha, you’re gonna wanna see this.” Nineteen-sixty-nine raised an eyebrow, standing up and trotting outside to see the horror of a changeling burnt to a crisp. It stared on in shock as Nineteen-eighty-seven checked for vital signs. It then turned its head to Nineteen-sixty-nine. “It’s dead, Alpha.” Nineteen-sixty-nine dropped to its knees and crawled to the fricasseed changeling, hugging it softly in its forelegs.

“I’m...sorry…” Nineteen-sixty-nine said. Nineteen-sixty-nine raised an eyebrow.

“You know there’s gonna be another one of these very soon.”

“It was my fault…” Nineteen-sixty-nine said softly. Nineteen-eighty-seven facehooved.

“No it wasn’t your fault! It was that changeling’s fault! That! changeling!” Nineteen-eighty-seven said, animatedly pointing at the fried corpse for emphasis.

“My fault…”

“Chrysalis dammit, I’m getting the cops. Don’t tell them that this was your fault!” Nineteen-eighty-seven said as it buzzed into the air and flitted off, leaving Nineteen-sixty-nine to cradle the seared lifeform in its forelegs.

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