The Sound And Fury From Seaddle

by Nic-Fit

Touch Me I'm Sick

Chapter 14 : Touch Me I'm Sick

I'm a creep, yeah, and I'm a jerk

~

"Hey guys! I have an idea for-"

"Not now Lyra!" Vinyl continued glaring out of the shopfront from the counter. Outside of the shop was a certain red pegasus, albeit with a guard supervising her.

It had been two weeks since Third Degree's trial. Despite a huge amount of evidence, it was deemed she was not fit to be held accountable for her actions, and had been sentenced to corrective therapy, with 200 hours of community service. This didn't leave the crew of the shop, or any other of the ponies who's property had been burnt, particularly happy. Frankly, it was a wonder nopony had died in the fires, although the fact nopony did die may have had something to do with how light the sentence was.

Without warning, Vinyl grabbed Lyra's guitar by the neck and bolted for the front door of the shop. Unnoticed by anyone except Vinyl, the guard supervising Third Degree had gone off on a break, leaving her alone outside the shop.

~

It'd been a pretty alright day so far. Third Degree had spent the last few hours picking up litter around the place. Her supervisor had just gone to go and get lunch, so she was just picking up crud around the street until he got back.

It had all been going well, until the door to the shop she'd been outside burst open, revealing a very, very angry unicorn wielding an upside-down guitar.

She pointed at Third Degree.

Third Degree gulped.

A terrifying smile broke across the unicorn's face as she slowly came towards Third Degree.

"RUN SHITHEAD RUN!"

She broke into a gallop.

Third Degree looked down at her cast, then back to the approaching mare. She could not break into a gallop. So she hobbled away as fast as she could, the white unicorn easily closing the distance.

Third Degree was so caught up in what was happening, she completely forgot that she was capable of flying away.

~

"Hey 'Tavi!"

"Vinyl? Where are you? You've been gone for two hours!"

"Yeah, about that. I sorta need you guys to collect me from custody."

"..."

"'Tavi?"

"Can't we just have one normal month?"

"What?"

"Vinyl, what did you do?"

"I may have chased 'Miss Burns-A-Lot' down the street with Lyra's guitar."

"Don't you think you've got back enough? Lyra already broke her leg, and she's been sentenced."

"She burnt down my home!"

"It didn't 'burn down', Vinyl, it-"

"Don't get pedantic, just please come and get me."

The phone let out a monotone 'beep'. Octavia sighed, hung it up, and made for the door.

"Hey 'Tavi! I have this-"

"Sorry Lyra, I have to go and get our idiot from the guards, tell me when I get back." Octavia sighed again, and left.

Lyra just 'Hmph'd.

~

"How can I help?"

"Yes, I think you have an imbecile for me to collect?"

"Ah yes, if you just want to follow the guard by the door over there." She pointed to the right of the booth. "Tell him who you're here for, and they'll be right out."

Octavia made her way to the guard as instructed, just wanting to collect the aforementioned imbecile and leave.

"Hello there, I'm here to collect an imbecile, white coat, blue mane, had a guitar with her."

The guard nodded and went through the door. He emerged again a couple of minutes later with Vinyl in tow behind him. She looked less than impressed by the whole ordeal.

"Is this the imbecile?" The guard asked.

"Hey! I'm not-"

"Yes, this is the imbecile, thank you."

"'Tavi! I'm not-mmhp?" Vinyl's complaint was interrupted by a grey hoof to the mouth.

"Come, imbecile, you have paperwork to do."

~

"Ugh, this is so boring!" Vinyl threw several papers into the air, exasperated. "And this," She indicated to the dunce cap on her head, "Is just plain degrading."

"Degrading, but true." Lyra and Octavia said in unison, then casting confused glances at each other, only serving to aggravate Vinyl further.

"I don't see why I have to do this!"

"Because you're the one who attempted to use my guitar as a bludgeoning tool." Stated Lyra.

"And because Lyra needs her guitar back and this is how it is done." Stated Octavia.

"This isn't fair, its my guitar too!" Vinyl slammed a hoof down onto the offending paperwork.

"Oh, of course, and the fact that it belongs to you gives you much less of a reason to want it back." Octavia rolled her eyes, Vinyl just grumbled.

"This isn't fair!" She mentally raged. "This isn't even my fault, its all Third Degree's fault! If she never set fire to the shop, none of this would be necessary." Vinyl now wore a scowl. "And even after she gets caught, she has to be working near the shop! She's such a creep...and a jerk." Her scowl deepened. "And then they say she can't be held responsible for her actions because of a brain problem. Puh-leeeease. Thats a real easy trick to pull, anypony could do it. 'Oh, not my fault, I'm sick. Can't touch me!' Ridiculous.

Glancing back down at the forms infront of her, Vinyl found that instead of the relevant information, the sheet was now covered with graffiti that she figured she must have done subconsciously. The most noticeable of which was the word 'sick' scrawled along the bottom, surrounded by others.

"Creep, jerk, can't, touch, sick...Heh, this is alright I guess." Her face fell. "'Tavi is gonna kill me though. Or at the very least call me an imbecile again and make me get some more forms." Vinyl sighed and rested her head on the table. "Of course, she'll say it was my fault. Again. Heh, maybe I should play the mental illness card... She scrawled out the word 'I'm' onto the page, nestled against 'sick'.

"Heh."

She began scribbling more, ruining the form in the process (as if she cared), but it didn't matter her brain was on a roll here.

"Maybe if I..."

The entire bottom half of the page was obscured by ink now. The neatly organised page was now covered in words scrawled out in a haphazard, almost violent manner. It was messy to look at, and Vinyl liked it. She got up from the table and walked into the living room, the page hovering beside her.

"Hey 'Tavi! Look at this!" She levitated the page in between Octavia's face and the book she was reading.

"Wow Vinyl!" She exclaimed.

Vinyl beamed.

"You ruined your form!" She continued, in the same chipper voice.

Vinyl wilted. Octavia simply glared at her. Vinyl sighed.

"I'll go and get another one..."

~

Vinyl shivered a little in the breeze. It was spring now, but it could still get a bit chilly every now and then.

"Could be worse."

It started raining.

"I absolutely hate everything."

She continue onwards to the police station.

~

There was a knock at the door, which Octavia answered. Behind it was a positively drenched Vinyl Scratch, holding the limp, soaked remains of the paperwork she had set out to collect.

"Vinyl-"

"ACHOO" Octavia reeled back from her friend. Vinyl just looked at her. "Don't touch me, I'm sick." She snorted in an attempt to free her airways. Making her way into the kitchen, she spared a glance at the ruined old paperwork on the table, a few words suddenly sticking out to her. Notably, 'touch', 'sick' and 'jerk'. A small smile graced her face.

"Hey 'Tavi." Vinyl said, her voice sounding weird with a blocked nose.

"Touch me," she held out a hoof "I'm sick."

Octavia just stared at her blankly. Vinyl moved closer.

"Touch me, I'm sick!" She held out her hoof again, this time Octavia retracted.

"Ehhehe...no thanks."

Vinyl leveled an angry stare at her.

"Touch me. I'm sick."

With that, she sprung into action, bounding towards Octavia. Reacting fast Octavia turned and ran.

"TAVI GET BACK HERE!"

"EW, NO! YOU'RE DISEASED!"

"AND I DON'T MIND!" Vinyl shouted, catching up to Octavia.

By now, they had made their way through the entire bottom floor of the house, and were on the stairs. One well placed hoof from Vinyl sent Octavia tumbling over the top, coming to a stop at a wall.

"Hey 'Tavi."

Octavia looked up.

Vinyl pressed her face up against Octavia's cheek.

"Touch me, I'm sick."

Octavia sneezed.

"YES! I WIN!" Vinyl began bouncing around the hall, coming to an abrupt halt once she started coughing. "Oh, right, I'm sick..."

"Okay, maybe I DO mind.

Meanwhile, Lyra was sat downstairs, continuing to read through the latest issue of 'Below Classical'.

"I don't know what just happened, and I don't care."

She had accepted long ago to never question Vinyl's actions, as Vinyl rarely thought them through herself either. She was snapped out her stupor when she was addressed directly, and loudly, and whine-ily.

"Lyyyyyyrrrraaaaaaaa, I'm sick, and 'Tavi is too sick to take care of me, so you need to take care of 'Tavi so she can take care of me, before you get sick."

What.

~

Comments

[akarock]

Heh, Touch me I'm sick!
Btw: apparetly my Man or Astroman CD came into the record store. I also managed to find a strange 5" 33rpm single of theirs which I got as well.

[Nic-Fit]

4748202
Nice one man, that single does indeed sound pretty odd...

[akarock]

4752508 I also bought Frosting On The Beater by The Posies. Its some fun and noisy power pop inspired alternatie rock.

[Nic-Fit]

4753032
Coolio, man.

Recently, I've been listening to a lot of experimental ambient stuff, odd field recordings and spoken word. I managed to start a project with a guy making stuff like this, so I've been stealing ideas drawing inspiration in from that stuff

[akarock]

4755508 cool!

[Nic-Fit]

4762160
Keep mix cassettes in various trees around town.

Y'know. Just in case.