Remembering to See

by IsabellaAmoreSirenix

Silent Night, Rebellion's Might

"I'm tired, Philomena."

All the curtains in the room had been drawn, shield the sun princess from light of any kind, save for a single flickering candle, giving it a melancholy ambiance. Celestia had taken the silken sheets from her bed and tossed them into a makeshift cushion in the corner, where she lay lethargic, her lips pressed into a slight frown. Next to her, there lay two stacks of papers, the inbox one nearly twice as tall as the outbox. She listlessly dragged her quill along the pages, until finally she threw it in defeat to the floor, where ink dripped like blood onto her hooves. She blinked once, then twice, until she rubbed her strained eyes with a moan.

At her mistress' call, Philomena swooped from her perch to settle gently on Celestia's shoulder. She affectionately nuzzled the princess, trying to offer solace, at least until she felt her feathers near Celestia's cheek dampen.

"Oh, I'm so sorry," Celestia said, impatiently wiping the invasive tears from her eyes before sighing in disgust. "Ugh, I'm so sick of just crying about everything! I've cried about Sombra, and I've cried about Discord, but once they were defeated, that came to an end. But now that Luna's gone, it's only gotten worse. Haven't I dried myself out already? How many tears do I have left in me?"

Thou have as many tears as thou have smiles, Philomena whispered through the unique mental connection that only the two of them shared. And maybe it's a good thing that thou have smiled so much. Because when thou run out, there's none of what's thee that's left.

"What more of me is left?" she asked in exhaustion. "I'm falling apart, Philomena, don't try to deny it. I'm tired of crying, tired of caring. I'm tired of watching my country fall apart. I'm tired of having to keep myself together. I'm tired of having these spells of darkness, of hiding in my room away from the rest of the world. As long as the sun reigns, I'll never sleep. I only want to see night, my Luna's night, or nothing at all."

Philomena watched as Celestia sniffled in a decidedly un-princessy way. "I wasn't this weak before Luna was gone, was I? Why is this happening to me now?"

Philomena placed a comforting wing around her neck. Thou know I don't like seeing thee suffer, Celestia, but honestly... I think this is the kind of change thou needed.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

I mean that this is the first time I’ve seen thee let go of thine composure. Thou are no longer afraid to let thyself cry, to let thyself show emotions. Before, thou were fine with wearing that mask of stone, but thou can’t be Equestria’s rock forever. It’s… unhealthy for thee. I don’t want to see the day when thou can’t take it off.

“But… but I needed to be that way for the nobility, for Equestria.” Celestia looked up at Philomena beseechingly. “Does that mean I made the wrong decision?”

Philomena sighed. Be honest, Celestia. Thou chose both and neither. Thou tried tearing thine heart in two for the sake of running thine country and watching over thine sister, but ultimately, thine hubris won out over either love.

The princess bristled at the accusation. “I committed no crime.”

Perhaps not in the literal sense, but… thou were punished by Luna’s banishment just as much as she was. Thine broken heart is proof.

“No,” Celestia murmured, shaking her head vigorously. “Whatever she’s suffering, it’s a thousand times worse than any pain I could feel. She’s on the moon, for heaven’s sake! She must be so sad and full of pain and lonely.”

Is that all too different from what thou are experiencing now? she asked with the firm gentleness of a mother. Thou have shut thyself up in thine room, refused to let anypony see thee cry. There’s more than one way of being lonely, Celestia, but unlike Luna, thou can change that. Just… let somepony in for a change. Would that be too hard?

“Yes,” she said bitterly. “Yes, it would be too hard. Because then I’d have to watch them leave. Thou, Rose, everypony I know and love; they’re all going to die and leave me alone. No, maybe Luna could with all her resilience, but I’m not strong enough to handle that.”

Celestia, please, thou have to—

“NO, I DON’T!” she roared. In her anger, her pupils were engulfed in white light as a might solar wind swirled around her like a tornado. The song in her head became deafeningly loud, and she screamed in an echoing voice that was not her own: “She didn’t deserve any of this! It’s all my fault, all my fault! She shouldn’t be suffering; I should be suffering for her a thousand times over! How am I supposed to go on when she’s gone, and I should be dead, dead, dead—!”

The solar wind flared into a tempest as with a tortured wail, Celestia started throwing her head against the wall, over and over with brutal force. Bruises sprung up like flowers beneath her snow white fur as she screamed her throat raw. Finally, she collapsed to the floor and gripped her temple with her hooves to the point where she thought it would burst under the pressure.

Then, even in the height of her madness, Celestia was suddenly brought back to reality by the tiniest crack.

With a gasp, Celestia raised her head to see Philomena, thrown by the solar wind into the corner, where she lay broken, her wings jerking in spasms. But that which caught her attention most was Philomena’s leg, which was horribly mangled and bent.

Oh Faust, Celestia thought in horror as she stumbled to where Philomena lay. Oh Faust, no!

Even when Philomena gave a feeble squawk of life, Celestia still cradled the phoenix like a dying corpse in her hooves. A violent tremor shuddered through the princess, rising and gathering in strength until it crashed upon the shore upon her eyes.

There, there, it’s okay, Philomena cooed. I know, I know, thou didn’t mean to do it. Don’t bottle it up; just let it out. I know it hurts, but it’s better that way. Thou will get better, I promise, Celestia. Just... please hold on until then.

Celestia ever so slightly pulled the curtains shut before she cried.

---

The city of Canterlot. A pinnacle of peace and prosperity in Equestria. A Golden Age utopia hailed by many to be the center of the world, and with good reason. From its place atop Canterlot Mountain, its swirling spires of white and gold served as a beacon that shone across the land. Ponies would flock to the city in droves, most driven by opportunities of bustling trade and flourishing business, but all captivated by its unquestionable beauty. The city was nothing short of a paradise, with finely crafted sculptures singing the hymns of angels beneath winding towers that stood so tall and proud in robes purest white that they may as well been made of clouds, while crowned with intricate golden halos. It was a center of wealth and culture, known for its high society, its sophistication, and most of all, its impeccable class.

It was not, however, known for its mobs and riots trying to violently batter down the castle gates, and the angry screams of the protestors were foreign chords of disruption in the city’s usually peaceful atmosphere. But even more so unexpected was Lady Diamonds’ complete disregard of all social etiquette as she forcefully made her way through the crowd.

“Ugh, step aside!” she hollered at another cluster of protestors before she impatiently swept them aside with her magic. She had given up on ‘beg your pardon’ and ‘excuse me, please’ long ago, deeming them ineffectual against the mindlessness of mob psychology.

“Out of the way, out of the way!” was the chant as the noblemare resiliently pushed open a pathway through the madness. She paid no mind to the mass of disgruntled ponies lining the sides; there was no room in her heart to worry about their petty concerns. So instead she kept her head held high, even as her vision was obscured by a sea of posters waving with a violent frenzy.

‘End the nightmare.’ ‘We don’t need a second Doomsday.’ ‘Prevent the fall, preserve the harmony.’ ‘We won’t trade eternal night for eternal day.’ ‘Celestia is NOT Equestria.’ ‘If you won’t give us answers, Equestria will take them.’

“Celestia,” Sunshine breathed in fear. The anger around her was scalding, a raging sea that threatened to sweep her away on its course towards the princess. She can’t handle this, she can’t.

Just then, Sunshine found herself directly behind the front lines of the mob. This was where some of the more violent protestors were, where fireplace tongs and curtain rods clashed with iron swords and magic shields. The Solar Guard was doing its best to defend the gates, but Sunshine could see it was a challenge in more ways than one. As stoic as they may have been trained to be, there were friends and family members in that crowd, and they wanted to keep them from harm, whereas the protestors had no problem with plowing down all the guards in ruthless pursuit of their goal. So the two opposing forces were met at an impasse, even as both sides were spurred onward by military captains or mob leaders. And one of those leaders was about to wage a second battle, begun by Sunshine’s death stare.

“Shining Starlight!” Sunshine yelled at the violet mare stationed proudly at the helm of the crowd.

At the sound of her name, she jerked her head around, her ice blue curls bouncing perfectly into place. When her eyes locked on Sunshine, her lips curled into a sneer. “Greetings, Lady Diamonds,” she said pleasantly, her voice laced with poison. Her mannerisms were unperturbed, as if the two noblemares were amiably strolling through Canterlot Square. “How do you fare on this glorious day?”

“Perhaps better if it had not been disrupted by a riot within the very heart of the country,” Sunshine replied, fighting to withhold sarcasm.

“Ah yes, tragic that Equestria had to resort to this, I agree. But if it’s to protect the country, then no price is too high.”

“But what do you hope to accomplish here?” Sunshine demanded, her ire beginning to bleed through her calm façade. “Do you wish to trade the Lunar Rebellion for another? War tore Equestria apart as it always does; now more than ever, we need to stand united.”

“And we are united,” Shining Starlight declared, puffing out her chest proudly, “united against a common enemy.”

“Are you truly that ignorant to believe Princess Celestia of all ponies would turn against Equestria?” Sunshine’s eyes narrowed, only showing strips of icy flames. “You spoke of no price being too high to pay for Equestria. The princess paid that price tenfold when she banished her sister for the sake of your wellbeing. And now, all she asks for is loyalty from her ponies, and you choose to betray her like this?”

“Oh come now, Sunshine,” said Shining. Sunshine could almost see the puffs of frigid air leave her mouth at those chilled words. “Don’t tell me you actually trust the princess. There has to be a part of you that questions her, that wants to know the truth. Nopony can be that mindless, even if that pony is Celestia’s lapdog.”

“I am her friend,” Sunshine hissed, stabbing every syllable into Shining’s heartless eyes, “which is more than I can say for you.”

“Are you?” she asked with a confident smirk. “Friends are supposed to understand each other, but how could you possibly comprehend the Princess of Equestria, an alicorn, an immortal? You can’t, so just drop the act. You owe nothing to her, so take from her what you deserve and run.”

“And what would that be?” Sunshine asked. “A countryhouse in Canterbury, with enough money left over to sponsor an open rebellion against your princess?”

“Or perhaps enough money to save a floundering mining business?” Shining’s fluttering eyelashes were dark with deception. “Most of your company was situated in Everfree City, was it not? Such a shame that government funding is going so slowly. Perhaps you could speed up the process?”

“But right now the princess is focusing on destroyed homes in the heart of the city,” Sunshine said. “Everypony knows that.”

“But not everypony is ‘friends’ with the princess. If you two are as close as you say, then surely she’d make the exception for a friend in need.”

At Sunshine’s affronted expression, Shining’s face softened. “Look, Sunshine, I’m not trying to be your enemy. I was your friend once, until I broke away from Celestia, but political stances shouldn’t decide friendship. I’m trying to help you. Princess Celestia won’t be in power for long, so you should try and get what you can until then. You’re not the princess’ friend, not if you don't force yourself to be. Just… think about what I’ve said, alright? Remember, Sunshine, the only pony you can ever rely on is yourself.”

Sunshine just watched as Shining gave her a decidedly pointed look before turning away to march back into the crowd, leaving her to trudge towards the gates alone. Don’t even think about it, Sunshine, she chastised herself. She’s just trying to get into your head. I’m not going to abuse my friendship with the princess just for my business. I am her friend, and I’ll show her that now.

With bold professionalism, the businessmare strode up to the captain of the Royal Guard stationed at the gate. “Excuse me, sir,” she began pleasantly, “but would you be ever so kind as to let me into the castle? I’m here to see the princess.”

The guard’s stoic expression didn’t waver, but he ever so slightly glanced pointedly to the side, then cocked his eyebrow as if to say, Seriously?

All at once, Sunshine became all too aware of the raging mob behind her. Horseapples. “I-I know what this looks like,” she said, her strained smile beginning to crack under pressure, “but you must believe me when I say I mean no harm to Princess Celestia. Surely you know of me? I’m Sunshine Diamonds, I’m her fri…” The mare choked on the word as doubts bubbled up to the surface. She shrank beneath the hard, shrewd, calculating gaze of the guard. His gold plated armor gleamed in the cold sunlight, so impenetrable and distant. Her eyes darted between his ivory white horn and strong hooves, both weapons that could easily tear her in half despite the crisscross of healing battle scars. And he represented just a fraction of the power and pain of Celestia’s. What was she doing here, pleading her case to convince the guard, but perhaps even more, herself?

Sunshine turned her head, preparing to leave before she was thrown out, when a soft, firm voice amidst the screaming chaos spoke.

“At ease, sir. She’s alright.”

Sunshine turned around to see Apple Harvest reasoning with the captain, but judging by his expression, with little success. Conversely, Sunshine couldn’t see any change in the guard; however, apparently Apple Harvest’s trained eye noticed some hidden resistance, as he added, “I know her, Rapier. She won’t harm the princess, I promise.” Then, in a lower, more urgent voice, there came, “Cover her, okay?”

After a brief second’s hesitation, an infinitesimal inclination of the head was the only response before he vigorously ushered Sunshine forward until she was nearly flattened against the iron bars of the gate. The captain barked orders for half a dozen soldiers to surround them as he levitated a ring of keys. He poised the key to the lock with the blanched expression of one preparing to dive into Ghastly Gorge. His tension was almost tangible, his neck muscles threatening to snap with every nervous look back.

And in that split second, all Sunshine could hear was the screaming mob, her pounding heart, and one single whisper.

“Run.”

There was the smallest fraction of silence as the protestors watched the gate creak open, their eyes trained on it with frightening intensity before all hell broke loose. Like terrifying birds of prey, they swooped in for the kill, swarming the gate in desperation to get there first. In the newfound chaos, Sunshine let out a yelp as a hoof yanked her tail, only to hear a sickening crack before the grip went slack. Not daring to turn around, Sunshine fearfully scurried away from the gate and broke out into a full sprint towards the safety of the castle doors.

Finally, once she felt enough distance had been put between her and the madness, she turned around to see Apple Harvest trotting towards her. “I am so sorry about this mess, Lady Diamonds,” he apologized once he was near enough. “Are you alright?”

“Yes,” she said, the word slipping out with, to her own surprise, actual sincerity. She smiled in her usual confident, composed manner. “Yes, I believe I am,” she affirmed. With each slowing of her heartbeat, she found renewed composure.

“Thank goodness,” he said, sighing in relief as he fell into step with her as they passed through the domed archway into the castle’s vestibule. “Luckily the crowds are dispersing now, though they’ll most certainly be back in droves tomorrow for the press conference with the princess. But for now, at least you will be able to leave the castle safely, without nearly that amount of… brutality.”

Sunshine closed her eyes at the memory of that skull-splitting crack. So violent, so out-of-control. She couldn’t bear to think what would have happened if they had gotten their hooves on Celestia… “Fortunately the guard was there to quell the situation," she mentioned while trying and failing to smile. "They were certainly doing their job, perhaps going a tad overboard.”

Apple Harvest let out a warm chuckle. “Oh, you’ll have to forgive Rapier for that,” he laughed, “ but he’s very protective of the princess. You should see him when she’s walking down a rocky path; he’ll personally steer her around every stone, just so she doesn’t trip. If that stallion isn’t head-over-heels in love with her, then I don’t know what romance is anymore. But enough about that, now how can I help you, Lady Diamonds?”

“I’m here to see Princess Celestia,” she answered. “Just to see how she’s doing. Is she available at the time?”

At that, Apple Harvest’s warm, inviting smile faltered. “I don’t know if that’s the best idea at the moment.”

“Why not?” she asked with the cold harshness of authority.

“It’s just… the princess has been shut up in her chambers for hours,” he explained. “She won’t talk to anypony, and she refuses to let anypony in.”

“What of the Day Court?” she demanded. “Does she not have her duties to attend to?”

“No, she’s delegated them to me and the rest of her advisors.”

“Well, has somepony tried to get her out?”

“I believe one of her hoofmaidens attempted to, but besides her, nopony.”

“One pony is not everypony,” Sunshine pointed out. “Why have you not tried?”

“Because it isn’t my place,” Apple Harvest answered, giving her a strange look, as if the answer was obvious. “I’m just her advisor; it would be unprofessional to try to pry into her private life.”

“Look,” he added just as he saw the objection forming on her lips. “You must understand my position. I just don’t want the princess to get hurt, nothing more, nothing less. That’s all I can do for her, all most anypony can do. If you believe the princess will speak to you, then I don’t object by any means. Do you think she will let you in?”

That was the million bit question, wasn’t it? Sunshine didn’t know if friends was the right word, but they had been on good terms before the Lunar Rebellion, hadn’t they?

…Still, Celestia hasn’t spoken to me ever since then. She never even asked me how my company was doing. Oh well, I’m sure she has far greater things on her mind. The mare’s eyes widened, her ice blue orbs threatening to melt. But that’s just it. She has so much more on her mind to even think about me. She’s worrying about a nationwide rebellion against her, and all I can complain about is laying off a few hundred workers? I must seem so… inconsequential to her. How can I possibly understand her? She’s not the insecure teenager to whom I could give advice and act superior. She’s stronger, hardened, independent, and what am I compared to that? I’d probably only get in her way.

But then she looked up into Apple Harvest’s eyes, and at once, she knew that look. It was the look of one pleading for help and guidance in the face of all powerlessness. And at once, Sunshine knew what her answer must be.

“I will do my best,” she declared resolutely.

The corners of his mouth turned up. “Then that’s all anypony can ask,” he said. “I can give you five minutes, but if the princess does not wish for you to be there, I will have to ask you to leave. Is that agreeable?”

Sunshine nodded wordlessly. No, that was wrong. Though perhaps not spoken, her mind was filled to the brim with words. As she turned away and ascended the staircase to the heavens, she repeated those confident words over and over until they withered into dust.

‘I will do my best.’ ‘Then that’s all anypony can ask.’

Sunshine sighed. If only I had practice with that.

---

All was eerily silent as Sunshine ascended the staircase to Celestia’s chambers. She could barely hear her own hoofsteps upon the thick carpet, and there was nopony else around to make a sound. At times, she found herself holding her breath, not wanting to break the spell of quiet that filled the air. Breaking it felt wrong, like disturbing a grave. Outside, the sun seemed to agree, wearing dark clouds like a mourning veil through which only the tiniest, most fragile rays of light could shine, making everything they touched look pale and sickly.

However, the light only made the vibrant suns painted on Celestia’s doors look all the more lively. Merrily beaming balls of light danced atop puffy white clouds that rained life-giving water onto an exotic assortment of beautiful flowers that exploded into color against pure alabaster. Vines twirled up from the base to create an intricate border of spirals, where birds and butterflies rested in peace.

Normally, it would have made Sunshine stand in awe, but now, all she could think of was how ironically inaccurate it was in portraying the feelings of its owner.

No light shone through the crack between the door and floor, but that didn’t fool Sunshine. Celestia was there. So one, two, three times she tapped her hoof against the door, only daring to make the slightest sound.

“Celestia?” she called in a fragile whisper. “Please, I know thou are in there.”

“Go away, Sunshine,” came a muffled cry. “Go away, please. I don’t want to hurt thee.”

“Oh Celestia, don’t tell me thou are actually listening to those horrible ponies,” Sunshine gently chastised. “Thou would never hurt Equestria.”

There came a tiny sniffle. “That’s what I believed as well, but… what if it isn’t something I can’t control? What if I woke up tomorrow to find my skin of fire, my heart of coals? Thou cannot know for sure, nor can I. I know not if Equestria is better with me dead or alive, and I know not which I want. I am so tired of it all. Tired of the singing, the nightmares, the fear. I can’t go on being scared of myself. I will not survive those three hundred years, not like this. Luna is lost to me forever, and I… I…”

Tears sprang to Sunshine’s eyes as she heard Celestia devolve into muffled sobs. She stood motionless outside the door, lost for words. And what words were there? What words could she possibly say wouldn’t sound empty and hollow?

I can’t understand her. I can’t be her friend.

Her nerve was gone. She shouldn’t have come.

“Just… just g-go, okay?”

She jerked her head away, silently cursing herself. Her teeth were tightly clenched to keep from screaming as tears flowed freely down her cheeks. She was such a failure. She shouldn’t have tried at all.

As she walked back down the hallway, Sunshine looked back at the door, the impenetrable force she could never possibly enter.

She would never know it was unlocked the whole time.

---

A cool summer breeze danced through the air, combing its fingers through Rose Petal’s hair and coat. The grassy plains on the outskirts of Canterlot lay before her in a rolling landscape of green dotted with clusters of purple and yellow wildflowers, all smiling up at a clear blue sky. A lone tree atop a hill shielded her from the rays of the sun, for which she was grateful. This was not a place to think of sunlight. It was a place to remember starlight.

Rose Petal idly twirled a worn rope bracelet in her hooves. It was a simple, practical thing, with the only adornments being some locks of gold and silver hair woven among the threads, and a tiny wooden heart charm. Yet she held the precious item close to her chest, while her eyes glazed over sadly, wistfully. The bracelet must have been the most romantic thing she owned, which could have been pitiful or endearing depending on how she looked at it. And she had liked it that way, in that perfect representation of duality: not quite a friend, not quite a lover, but a comfortable somepony in between, with the closeness of siblings and the difference of complete strangers. All the intimacy with none of the drama. All the security with none of the elusiveness. All the love with none of the pain. Or at least, that was how she chose to remember him.

Him. Such, a mundane, simple word. Him was the polite farmer you saw at the marketplace on Thursdays, or the bothersome secretary whose name you could never remember. Him was one of a million ponies she would never know, not the one pony who knew her better than all others. She hated the word for its ordinary nature, but ironically enough, ordinary was one of the things she missed most. That safe, comforting security she would never have in the same way again.

~~~~~~~

“Thank thee for meeting me, Rose.”

“Don’t mention it,” the young mare replied with a smile. “I’m always happy to spend time with thee, Starlight.” The jubilant laughter in her eyes faltered. “I… I’m sorry we haven’t seen each other in a while. Thou know how Mother is, always moving from town to town trying to branch out her flower business. It’s maddening, simply maddening.”

“It’s alright, Rosie,” Starlight reassured her, placing a calming hoof on her shoulder. “I understand. And besides, I think we worked the poor mailponies to death with our letters. It’s just good to finally have thee here in person.”

“Yes, yes it is,” she agreed, smiling once again. From her perch high atop the hill, she could see a million flickering candle lights nestled within protective, grandiose walls of what were grey, white, and gold in day, now united in silver under the moon. “Wow,” she breathed in awe, her voice a faint whisper in the nighttime breeze. “So this is Everfree City.”

“Beautiful, isn’t it?” Starlight said with equal parts pride and admiration. “If there’s any place in Equestria where ponies can truly believe in a brighter tomorrow, this is it. How can they not when the guardians of the sun and moon are watching over them, over us, over everypony?”

“It’s certainly a change from Fillydephia,” Rose Petal remarked. “The only ponies nobles watch over there are the ones engraved on the gold bits.”

“Yeah, well, there are some like that in Everfree, but they’re not so bad,” Starlight reassured, casually shrugging his shoulders. “But I’ve always believed Everfree City is a city of the common mare. I can’t tell you how many ponies offered to help me get my bearings when I moved here. They’re all so close, so eager to do the right thing; it’s nothing short of inspiring. It’s a place of friendship, plain and simple.”

“Friendship? Ponies talking to each other and getting along? I’m sure Starswirl’s thrilled about that,” Rose Petal teased.

Starlight tossed his head back in hearty laughter, his silver eyes twinkling with merriment. Rose Petal felt the rumbling like the pulse of a drum vibrate its way deep into her skin, into her very soul. “Oh, Swirly’s still the antisocial bookworm he’s always been, don’t worry. I didn’t think he could, but he found a way to keep Everfree from breaking him. Right now he’s alone on some mystical mission to the caverns of Myrtania, or something like that. I think it’s his third expedition this month; the poor stallion’s dead on his hooves, trying to make his way into the Mage Council, but probably just trying to impress Princess Luna.”

“Ah, so the Princess of the Night remains elusive?” Rose Petal remarked playfully.

“Yes, but it’s certainly not from lack of trying on his part. You should see him when he returns from one of his expeditions; his wagon is laden with exotic artifacts from distant lands that he can’t wait to give her.”

“Maybe thou should suggest the candy and flowers route and save him the trouble.”

“I have, I have, a million times! And when he came back from the Appaloosan Mountains with a geode of crystals, I even said to him, ‘When a mare says she wants a big rock, she doesn’t literally mean a big rock.’ And he had no idea what I was talking about!”

Rose Petal burst into giggles. “Oh, poor Starswirl. I suppose not even all the books in the world could teach that stallion about love.”

“But apparently they had something on angst-ridden teenage mares,” Starlight said. “From what Starswirl says, the princess has been a little moody lately, and he’s one of the only ponies she’ll let into her room. Hopefully that’s passed though; I’m not sure. We haven’t talked in a while.”

Starlight tried to pass off the comment nonchalantly, but Rose Petal could tell it cut deeper than he let on. “Hey, look at me,” she said gently, placing a hoof around him. “It’s going to be alright, okay? Thou know how Starswirl is. He’s working himself to the bone to reach his dreams, but that doesn’t mean he’s forgotten about thee, or us. He just needs time; he’ll come back. Regardless of what’s happening now, we were all fillyhood friends. Memories will connect us, no matter what. A fancy new position can’t change that. Besides,” she added with a smirk, “he promised to find me a new job in Everfree City, and Royal Mage or not, I’ll slap him in the face if he goes back on that.”

Rose Petal was relieved to see some of the livelihood return to his face. “I know, Rosie,” he murmured. “That’s why I’m so glad thou are here. It helps a lot, having somepony ordinary around.” Rose pursed her lips and raised an eyebrow. “Er, I mean… grounding… yeah, grounding is good.”

She smiled. “It’s fine, Starlight. Although,” she added, gazing up at the stars, “who knows? Perhaps Starswirl won’t be the only pony to become famous. Maybe we’ll be remembered for something great too.”

“Yeah, a simple carpenter becomes a national hero,” he laughed, gesturing to his cutie mark, a pair of willow branches rubbing together to create sparks of gold and silver stars. “That sounds like something out of a fairytale.”

“Hey, it’s easier to believe than a runaway florist,” Rose Petal rationalized with a look back to her own cutie mark, a white rose petal in the shape of a heart. “But that’s what Everfree’s all about, I suppose. Believing. Hoping. Dreaming. Maybe one day I’ll find my place here too.”

Starlight gave her a curious look. “Thou do not have to do this. Thou can always go back.”

“No, I can’t,” Rose Petal declared resolutely. “I won’t live the life my parents want me to lead. It’s a nice life, but not the one I want. And this is the city of brighter tomorrows, isn’t it? Well, I’m beginning my tomorrow today, right here, with the pony I care about.”

Rose Petal sucked in a gasp as she felt Starlight drape a soft, downy wing over her, pulling her close. A shudder ran down her spine, so distracting and all-consuming that she almost didn’t notice the new bracelet slipped around her hoof until Starlight leaned down and whispered, “I’m happy for thee, Rosie, and I want thou to know that whatever life thou choose to live, thou will always be special to me. Nothing can separate us, for our memories will unite us wherever we go. I will remember thee always, now and forever, for the rest of my life.”

~~~~~~~

With a shaking gasp, Rose Petal emerged from the memory like a swimmer breaking the surface of the water, water that now welled in her misty green eyes. Unlike other days, she didn’t try to brush the tears away; they only helped to block out her view of the world around her, a world so much like her memory but oh so wrong as well. There was no Everfree City below her, no bracelet around her hoof, and no wing to hold her close. But more than that, all the words she had said that night now rang with lies. Starswirl was more distant than ever, to the point where he hadn’t even attended Starlight’s funeral. Starlight, who had only ever wanted to live an ordinary, joyful life, now was glorified and immortalized in cold dead stone monuments across Equestria. And Rose Petal… well, her tomorrow seemed darker than ever.

No, that last part wasn’t true. She did have the power to change that. Rose Petal thought back to her conversation with Starswirl, and the weighty choice she would have to make. Was it better to remember or forget?

One upon a time, in another, better life, the memory of her first night in Everfree City would have brought her joy like no other. But now, the happiness had run out, leaving only unbearable sorrow. She didn’t want the pain anymore. She was tired of hurting. She just wanted to stop. She just wanted to forget. Was Celestia any different?

The sun dipped below the horizon. Her time was up. Equestria needed her answer.

Rose Petal closed her eyes. She knew what she had to do.

---

That night, the clock struck twelve and all was silent.

Author's Note:

I might as well clarify this now, since this chapter featured copious usage of Old English pronouns, but only the royal we and informal pronouns (thou, thee, thine, etc.) will be used in writing in order to establish levels of familiarity between characters in various situations. Full blown Anglo-Saxon writing, such as adding -eth verb conjugations, will not be used, simply because I don't know the proper usage, it can cause confusion, and it adds little narrative purpose. (Plus, it'd give me a headache trying to change every three words. :D )

Also, as an aside to avoid confusion in the first scene, Philomena, while a phoenix, is not immortal. That's all I'm going to say.