Vain and Bitter

by zapp

Prolouge: Dicing my life into portions

I have never in my life admitted myself being better than other ponies. Either it never happened, or it happened at least once. But, as I drive off into my personal train of thoughts, I dive in a psychological trap, from which I can be released if I answer my own complex question correctly. For example: "Where is our soul?" or "Can knowledge acquire the whole of my psychological activity?". It can range from simple, jokey little questions, to much more complex, difficult and brain-twisting quizes, questions or riddles. I have been into these sort of things since my childhood. I would go to school, maybe somebody would call me "faggot", and so on. It was a usual life, nothing special. My parents were middle-class ponies in Parlem, Manehatten. Although the schools were pretty shit, it still carried through most of my life, or at least the begging. The dull and ignorant neghiboorhood never bothered me that much, but the shouting and screaming at each other just get me to sleep or to do my homework. That is how I started thinking so deeply. So deep, that philosophy could not comprehend the ideals of the thinking I imagined. It would be random topics on my couch, bed or even shower. What bothered me the most, is the idea of how I think, and how I reflect myself through the world. Maybe they needed to know. Thus, I told my parents of what was happening to me. Of course, as every middle class family would respond, they said it is nothing much, and told me to go to bed. At that night, I was sleeping soundly, untill... a thought came up out of nowhere. "Why are we here, and what is our meaning?". It stuck to me for weeks, untill my parents saw the effects the philosophy was doing to me, (sleeping disorders, non-eating habits, etcetera) so they brought me to a psycholigist.
"Now, Frost, how do you reflect on your thinking?", he said, stuttering a bit.
"Well, comparing to my psychology and philosophy, I would say it is quite nice, yes. Quite nice.", I smiled casualy while facing the ceiling.
"How did you learn that you are thinking so deeply?", he asked.
"Well, I was sitting doing my homework, untill a really deep thought popped into my head, and I stopped doing it, and started thinking.", I replied.
"Did you stop... uh... completely--"
"No, I'm just thinking while doing, the uh, homework.", I interrupted him at the end of his sentence.
"So, do like thinking in general?", he asked.
"What do you think, Mr. Hein?".

SIX YEARS LATER

I was 18 now, which sort of meant I was free. Unfotunatley, I couldn't find a job anywhere, so I had to stay with my parents. For 3 years. Now I am 21, without a job, a virgin and a thinking tank. Great, what else I can add to my CV? It was really like a sudden misfortune to me and I had a fear of fatigue and loneliness, only to be free of those things. It was now clear. My life was worthless, and that BA? It was just for deep thinking, nothing much. But thinking was my hobby, it was what I did every day and every month and year for fun. Just pure, plain, simple self entairtainment.

As taxes went up, and regular ponies started sucking off corparate overlords, Equestria started falling apart slowly. My part-time job buisness got closed down, and know I was with my computer, sitting and looking at the countless amounts of yellow, red, and blue pixels mashed up together. Sure, it was not really fun, and actually boring at some point, it kept me entairtained in some way, and kept me alive, but most of my time I spent reading philosophy novels. Deep thinking got back to me, and I started diving back in philosophical ideas and ideals. It was now clear. I was a part-time philosopher.

Author's Note:

This is a PROLOUGE! lol :3