Of mercenaries and.... Ponies?

by Lion Tale

Playing With Danger, or doing the Rocket Jump Waltz

Flap flap….

Her mind flooded with thoughts, What if they get through their defenses?

Flap flap…

What if they’re not enough? Celestia thought as the pegasus guards continued to pull the chariot to their destination. She looked over her shoulder and saw another chariot containing her sister and two differently colored spies. Can these two humans do the job if the changelings break through?

Celestia lowered her head and sighed. They better be. They’re all I got before Queen Chrysalis possibly succeeds again against me.

“Hey pony princess,” François yelled from behind. Jacques nudged him in the arm, getting a ‘what’. “How much longer before we get into the city?” he asked.

Luna spoke from François’ back, “We are almost there; the power of the unicorns are growing. We also feel very tired, and thine back is becoming very unsatisfying.” She unlatched herself and leaped into Jacques’ arms, borrowing herself into the folds of the white, silk pinstripe suit. “This is better.”

Celestia rolled her eyes, and felt her chariot slowly decreasing in altitude as it descended to a landing pad just barely outside of the Canterlot Castle. The guards slowed their flight rhythm and glided unto the pad. Their hooves clacked, and the chariot’s wheels creaked, as they slowed to a halt. The alicorn princess stepped off of the passenger spot and walked to the other chariot.

“Welcome to Canterlot my little humans,” She licked her lips; it was weird to say that phrase. “I’ll take my sister to her room. Meanwhile, you two will talk to the Captain of the Royal Guard,” Shining Armour and an orange pony with a red cross on a helmet to the side of his head appeared and saluted. “You two will go to the embattle room with him and prepare in case the changeling swarm decides to flank.”

“One question,” Jacques placed Luna on Celestia’s back as she left the remaining group behind. “Why do we need a medic with us?” He then pointed to the orange stallion.

“I’ve been ordered to be next to Shining Armour here while he’s on duty by his wife,” The pony saluted.

“Yea, she uh,” Shining Armour rubbed the back of his head. “Ever since I saw your fight in Las Pegasus; my wife—Princess Mi Amour Cadenza, or Cadence —got worried that if I faint again, there might be nopony nearby to help me,” He patted the medic’s back. “She decided that placing Flash Sentry here as my advisor and go-to stallion would be a great idea.”

The Frenchmen shrugged it off, “Well, we should be getting ready I believe. I would hate to have to fight those cyborgs with nothing but sticks and stones.” François clapped his hands and headed towards the gate leading to the inner castle. “Who’s with me?”

Shining shrugged his shoulders and trotted to catch up with the speedy spy. “All of you three might as well follow me,” He turned his head and searched the area. Spotting a birch door, the stallion approached it with the small group following and opened it. Instantly, the wall torches lit up a short staircase leading up onto a room where two guards stood at attention, attempting to hide something.

“This is to the room filled with frequently updated maps of our castle and city,” he said nodding to the guards. “This is also the guards’ Friday poker room. But don’t tell Celestia about it, she doesn’t like the potential of the cards you humans brought.”

They snickered, “I blame our scout,” Jacques said as he put a hand on his chest. He then pulled out a stack of paper and shuffled them. “This is the original deck that we had made to pass the time. Although I wonder who caused the spread of such cards in this country.”

“My sister, Princess Twilight Sparkle, told me that it was a friend, Fluttershy, that told her,” Shining saluted the guarding ponies and entered the stone brick room. “But any source before Fluttershy has been lost because she doesn’t rightly know what it exactly was.”

“It was Richard’s fault for causing it,” white suited spy replaced the deck into his inner pocket and pulled out his silver cigarette case. “Is it okay if I smoke?”

Shining stared at case and then shook his head. “If that’s anything similar to a cigar, you can’t smoke. I’ve had several guards sent to infirmary because their lungs had failed on them.” Flash gave him a large scroll of paper and sat down on the table. “Anyways, back to the point at hand; the planning. First, we’ll evacuate the surrounding area then after that we can….”

(……..)

Dell kicked the door to a diner open, and placed his teleporter on the ground. He then hit it with his Jag a couple times to speed up the process and ran out into the crisp autumn air. Applejack watched as the human engineer rushed to get his teleporter ready from behind the diner counter. The farm pony sighed, and stared out of a window where a large and wide pathway had been carved as the city’s chokehold point.

“Hey AJ, can you get me more some more metal?” Dell yelled. “I need to upgrade this teleporter efficiently so that the other can get here fast enough.”

“Yea Ah got it!” She ran into the back of the diner and grabbed various sorts of metal objects that lay scattered. Applejack then ran next to Dell’s side and placed the metals at spots where it was being repaired, and assisted him.

“Hey sugar cube,” the earth pony spoke. “Ever think that this is going to work?” Applejack then returned to her spot behind the counter and grabbed two metals.

“This stronghold you mean?” He replied. The teleporter started to whirr, and the pony nodded. “Of course it’s going to work! We have enough guns to not worry about it.”

“But are you sure it’s enough?” She pressed the metals together and hammered it with her hooves, forming a faster reloading upgrade to any shotgun. “I mean, we can create upgrades to our weapons, but what if they don’t work?”

“Don’t be silly darling! We have guns, they don’t have guns; simple as that!” Dell spread his arms in pride. “If they did, they can’t get through our sentry nests!”

“But what if they had something to destroy just that? We don’t know all about them!” She walked close to the Texan and hugged him.

“Then that might be a problem,” His smile dropped as he dropped his wrench and pulled out his PDA. “I’m going to create a dispenser just so that we can have more metal for upgrades.” The teleporter made a loud ding, and revealed the Lunar Engineer holding another teleporter.

“We need more here pronto!” the engineer said. “If we don’t hurry up, they might be here before you two finish your scene.”

Applejack released her hold on the Texan and also pulled out her PDA. “I’m creating a dispenser so that we can hurry up.”

“Whoo!” Lunar Demoman appeared, holding a six-pack bottle of rum and wearing a pair of sunglasses. He looked around, and saw that everyone else was staring at him in annoyance. “What? I can’t have fun before fighting?”

Applejack slapped her hoof against her head and dropped her toolbox containing the dispenser, where it had started to materialize. Another ding sounded from the teleporter, revealing Zecora—also holding a bottle of rum— but swayed from side to side.

“I love this fantastic elixir, but I blame Tavish for giving this bottle to me,” She hiccupped. Zecora then stepped off the pad and stumbled to Applejack. The farm pony scrunched her nose and pulled her face away from the drunken zebra. “Also, you and Dell here make a fantastic couple! I can tell by the way he looks at you!” Applejack blushed and returned to work on her dispenser.

Several more minutes revealed nearly all the mercenaries in the diner, either sitting at a booth, or at the counter with the looted coffee from the kitchen. Heavy grunted, “Where’s Richard and rainbow pony?”

Big Macintosh set his mug down. “I worry about those two,” the stallion said. “They seem a bit too close if you ask me.”

“Maybe,” Jennifer placed her strange Scorch Shot on the table, and raised her hand to indicate Pinkie to get her a cup. “But honestly, I think they’re just late because no one even bothered to wake them up.”

“I thought you would,” Pinkie said from behind the counter. “You make all kinds of noise whenever we wake up.” She winked, and placed a cup of mocha on the table with a heart on the inside—the way she does with everyone’s cup.

“Oh haha,” She sarcastically replied. The pyro then playfully leveled the flare gun to the pony’s head. “Maybe next time remind me when I forget that my keys are inside my pocket. That way we wouldn’t have to fight about who broke the mirror.” She set the gun down and took a sip from her mug. “It’s been a little too long! They should be awake by now.”

The teleporter dinged and spun. Strands of particles floated up and created a sort of cloud. A cough from behind the cloud sounded and parted to reveal Richard waving the smoke out of his face. “Yo engie, I think your teleporter is broken!”

“That one was my work!” Dell growled. “How’d the hell did you break it?”

“Blame Skittles; she got mad at me for pushing her out of the way and decided that hitting the teleporter was a way to get quick revenge,” Richard pulled a comb from his pocket and combed his short, sooty hair. “She’s on her way, don’t worry.”

A ding from the other teleporter later revealed Rainbow Dash coughing up a storm. “You know Richard,” she coughed from the smoke. “You can be a real ass about this teleporter business.”

“Shut up,” the scout stepped off the teleporter and held out his hand. “You owe me fifteen bits for you losing that race.”

“Bull!” the pegasus shouted, putting her hoof on Richard’s chest. “You pushed me out of the way at the last second, I call cheating!” she crossed her forelegs.

“If anything,” Applejack separated the two. “If there weren’t any made rules, then it wasn’t cheating.”

“Ha!” Richard put a finger on Dash’s nose, almost getting bit right afterwards. “I told you it wasn’t cheating!” Dash pouted and grabbed her pouch of money from her secret pocket—which was right above the cutie mark, equivalent to a back pocket on humans— and ponied up the debt.

He snatched the bits and sat down next to Jennifer at the counter. “I’m surprised that you didn’t even rub it in her face,” She said, taking another sip from her drink.

“I was going to,” Richard asked Pinkie for a mug. “But she’s just a kid. I even bet she’s younger than me!” Pinkie placed a cup before the scout, with a partially broken heart on it.

Jennifer shrugged at the hidden gesture, and continued. “Anyways, rumor has it that you have the hots for her.” She chuckled.

“Who said that?” Richard lifted the mug to his mouth and blew to cool it down. “I really don’t have many feelings for the kid.” He admitted.

“But do you know how much it hurts her to know that?” Jennifer gave the Bostonian the container holding the sugar and also gave him a couple packets of creamer. “Do you even have self-respect?”

“I do! It’s just that I was thinking about someone else though,” He opened a packet of creamer and poured half of it into his drink. “Anyways, I think that we do have a defense to go for today.”

“That’s correct,” Dell said from his booth. “We have to survive the attack from the changeling swarm and that’s it!”

“So uh, where are we defending?” Dash muttered at the opposite side of the counter beside Fluttershy.

“Mainly here, but if you want to go ahead towards the beginning of the pathway, then be my guest,” Dell grabbed a slice of bacon and reached for his mug with the other hand. He then attempted to place the bacon in his mouth, but bit on rubber. He searched for the slice, but saw Mikhail softly giggling.

“Come! Take it back!” Heavy said behind the counter, waving the bacon.

Engineer shrugged, “Ah don’t mind, just ask next time.” He then put his paper bag into his overalls’ pocket and stood up and then climbed up top of his table. “Alright everybody, if I could have your attention, this will go a ton smoother!

Now, as you may know, we have to defend this chokehold against the oncoming swarm. Some of you have doubts that we can do this, very few of you are very calm about this—about one or two people. But to keep it short, we will defend this chokehold until all of us either fails, or they somehow make it through. If that happens, then who knows? So that’s it! I’m not like Jacques with his inspiring speeches, but close enough. See ya on the battlefield,” Dell stepped off the table and walked out of the door.

A cool breeze came through the door, forcing people awake and making them shiver. Dash climbed off of her stool and virtually dragged herself to the door. Richard watched her before getting off. He lifted his finger to say something, but stayed silent.

Jennifer nudged his arm, “So the choice is yours, either you make it up with the pony and have a happy relationship like Dell and Applejack; at least try to make her feel better but not really be in a relationship knowing that you two won’t be together; or you can do nothing and watch her slowly trudge on with her life. I’m not going to judge,” The pyro then grabbed her flare gun and placed her flamethrower over her shoulder. “I have another option for you, but you’ll have to find out how to get it.” She winked, but Richard had already changed his gaze towards the hurt pony.

So much pressure! He thought. Man, how did I get myself into this situation? He looked at his cup of coffee and saw swirls that branched off into hearts. I wonder if Pinkie put something in my drink. He searched for the pony, and found that she was staring back at him from outside. Yea, I blame the freaking pony.

“What’s the matter?” Jennifer patted his back. “Coffee’s too string for you?” She chuckled, “Come on, let’s go and sent some of those buggy changelings to the burn ward. After this, I’m pretty sure they need aloe Vera, because they got hit to the fourth degree—at least I think there’s a fourth degree. If not then there’s about to be one!” She laughed manically.

Richard smirked and shook his head, “You might as well stay behind with Pinkie, and I’ll be heading towards the front where Skittles, Lunar Engineer, and two others are staying. You’re going to be the second wall of defense along with a couple others right?” She nodded. “Alright, have fun then.”

“Don’t forget what I said good friend!” Jennifer waved and headed into a clothing shop where she’ll wait for ambush.

Richard then ran down the otherwise straight forward pathway. Eventually, he reached the near ending and found that it grew more infested with changeling waste, including broken pods of past hatched changelings—a few unhatched, but Richard decided that coming back later to retrieve them later would be a better decision; would be nice to raise one from birth. The scout then turned right and reached an opening and saw a large, dark green, and bulging mass peering in the distance. He gulped and looked for a spot to hide.

Rainbow Dash knocked her hoof against the sidewalk behind a roofed bus stop, getting his attention away from the mass. Richard then sped to her side and huddled behind her. A sentry beeped on the other side of the street, notifying that the engineer was ready.

All was quiet on the frontier, nothing but the sound of the sentry beeping; so quiet that a pebble could be thrown and be heard from almost any angle. Loud static on Richard’s headset got his attention, and decided to turn it down.

“Everybody,” Applejack’s voice could be heard through the crackle. “Listen, crrz, if you collect, crrz, changeling’s armor, then you, crrz, it back here for, crrz, upgrades. I repeat, crrz, back metal, crrz, for weapon upgrades, crrz.”

“I heard something on the headset,” Dash whispered. “Did she say collect changeling armour for weapon upgrades?” She scooted against the wall of the bus stop for comfort. “How can we upgrade these weapons? Isn’t it impossible?”

“Not really,” Richard placed a finger on his headset, getting more static. “I’m trying to connect again, but we’re just too far.” He turned the dial on the set, scanning on a different frequency. “I’m just getting more static.”

“Hey, aren’t the changeling cyborgs?” she asked, tuning her headset. “Shouldn’t the frequent-thingamabob work on them? It seems like this radio-ish stuff should work on them.”

“It’s more complicated than that,” the Bostonian turned the dial again; static. “Nope, but I’m running to the Lunar Engineer, he might have something to say.” He stood, and looked from behind the makeshift wall cover. Seeing nothing, he then ran across the littered street and to the source of the beeping sentry.

The engineer instantly pulled out his Lugermorph, but put back into his pocket once he noticed it was Richard. “What do you want?” He said gruffly.

“Since it was you that designed the changeling race basically,” the scout started. “Do you know if we can listen in on their conversations?”

“You can, but it’s on a specific frequency. The radio frequency is exactly two hundred. Anything lower or higher and you just get static. I’ve told the other engineers about this, and they’ve told everyone about a minute ago, but we’re too far so we have to assume,” the Lunar Engineer then placed a teleporter. “This is a two way teleporter so that we can go back and forth whenever we pick up metals. Also, for some odd reason, it’s spawning bread every time I use this teleporter. Tell Applejack about it. Also tell her to hurry up with the radio,” he pushed Richard into the pad. “See ya when you get back.”

Richard waved, and was instantly in the diner, where said farm pony was slamming two pieces of metal together. “They’ve already attacked? Or did you just come here to tell me something?” she asked, not looking up from her work.

“I’ve come to tell you that the teleporters are spawning bread and you should hurry up on fixing the radio strength,” Richard placed his Force-A-Nature on the table and some metal he grabbed from the ground. “I need the clip reload speed upgraded, if you can.”

Applejack stared at the weapon then tore it apart. She then took apart the lever that disconnects the barrel off, and replaced it with a button. The pony cut the center line between the two barrels off next and left two mirrored C’s. She then finally taped two shotgun shells together and reloaded the scattergun—this was all done in a matter of half-seconds.

“There you go! Your reload speed increased at least fifteen percent,” She handed the gun back. “And Ah’m programming the ammo you’re receiving from dispensers and the like to be at least taped together when you get them. You’re going to have to bring more metal for me to upgrade it more honey,” She coughed. “And the radio strength should be working at full power, so now everyone can hear me at least two miles around.”

“Alright!” Richard gave her a thumbs-up. “See you later; I think I’ll need you later eventually.”

“Bye!” Applejack waved her hoof at him as the teleporter took him away. She sighed, “Back to work on making more upgrades,” she muttered. “Need to make medicines for increased damage intake… Should it be steroids?”

(..)

Richard reappeared into the Lunar Engineer’s nest and peered out into the street; nothing again. “Hey Engie, do you know when they’re going to attack?” He asked.

“In about ten seconds,” the engineer lifted a toolbox and carried out into the sidewalk, covering the whole area. “They’re going to send the lowest of the low—a group of feral changelings that’ll try and leap at you with attacking teeth. Careful, they like to attack in groups.” The Lunar Engineer then lifted his hardhat, revealing a small in-ear receiver. He turned the small dial on the bud. “I hear that Applejack got my advice.”

“Yea she did,” Richard pulled out his scattergun then fine-tuned his headset.

“Crrz, be ready for attacking, changelings!” The queen’s voice could be heard. “Once the Feral leave, we’re sending the higher grunts, and so on so forth! Once we reach the Elites, be ready to go in nothing but brute force! We want to see them cower in terror as they see the swarm march out of Stalliongrad! Note that we’re marching, not flying because I want to see every single pony that crosses our path be trampled by our awesome glory!”

“My queen,” a random changeling’s voice spoke. “The area’s clear, though there happens to be a rogue sentry sitting in the middle of nowhere. Should we take great caution?”

“No, if there’s a rebel force gathering, be prepared to take them out!” She screamed, but stopped suddenly. “I sense the human changelings, the ones that had my weapon, out there. They are to be terminated at all costs! They’re not native of the hive mind, but you should sense them!”

Richard smirked, “If they’re going to attack me straight up,” he whispered. “Then let them bring it!” He yelled and ran into the street, giving out his position to the sentry changelings standing on the roof of a building nearby the large mass. “Come at me! All of you against me! I got this!”

“What in the buck are you doing?” Dash mouthed. “You’re going to ruin the plan!”

He winked; not getting her caught too, and released a shell into the mass, barely missing the sentries. “My queen, I believe we’ve found one of the humans. Should we go ahead and send out the Feral?” one of them asked.

“Very well, start the march!” Chrysalis roared, so loud that the headset wasn’t needed and even Applejack heard it from her stand behind the Diner.

She paused on her work and lowered her head to the microphone that was attached to the radio systems, “Like you’ve heard just now if you did, prepare for the swarm. I repeat, prepare for the swarm!” She yelled into the mike. “Let’s go, go, go!”

Richard aimed his scattergun right at the entrance to the mass and waited. A hiss from the inside raised the hairs on his back. Suddenly, like a moving, black wisp; red-eyed changelings charged from the entrance and straight at him. The Bostonian squealed a little but shot the other shell before having to reload.

A Feral was blown back, and crashed into other Ferals, causing instant confusion. Richard quickly reloaded, but was knocked to the ground as a Feral leaped into him and attempted to bite several times. He turned his head, trying to keep the hot breath of the Feral out, and pushing it away with all his might. The bug jumped away, but was instantly back again into trying to bite him as it leaped unto him. Richard then kneed the creature in the stomach, causing it to recoil, giving him more time to get up and retrieve his weapon.

A snarl behind him caught his attention, but a whistle of bullets cut it short. Richard looked behind, and saw the sentry gun working its business as it shot several more bullets and rockets at the enraging Ferals.

Rainbow Dash appeared to Richard’s side and shot a leaping Feral with her Shortstop. “Hey watch it scrub! I wouldn’t like it I had to save your lifeless body from a harvest for Ferals!” She hit another Feral down to the ground with an extremely large candy cane and continued until a small, green orb popped out. She then picked up with orb with curiosity and ate it. A gash on her side healed, and mended itself together.

“I need to kill more changelings, more often,” Dash sped away, throwing a bottle of Mad Milk. “Catch that you stupid bugs!”

A rocket flew right over his head, and exploded a Feral behind him. Richard looked up, and saw wo soldiers—Spike, and the Lunar— gliding across the sky and using a Market Gardener, except for Spike, who was holding a Half-Zatochi. Richard then pulled out his pistol and rapidly pulled the trigger. “Eat lead you fleas!” Richard yelled. “I’m pretty sure your mother is nothing but a roach!”

“Maggots!” the Lunar Soldier yelled, shooting a Feral’s head with his shotgun.

Spike then pulled out a bugle and played a long tone, giving them a feeling of renewed energy. Richard whooped and jumped over several Ferals—and hitting them in the process—as he ran towards the very front of the hoard, where several Feral Changelings had passed through the first defense.

Suddenly, Pinkie appeared holding her Phlogistinator from the roof a building at the front of the group, and pulled the trigger. The Ferals screamed as the harsh, orange beam of heat hit their fleshy exoskeleton, falling after a couple seconds. Pinkie kept holding the trigger as she ran towards the back of the group, making a clean sweep after doing so. Nothing remained of rogue group of Ferals except crackling, burning husks of black.

Pinkie threw her weapon into the air and cheered. She stopped, looked into the distance, and ran back into the building, awaiting her next group of victims.

Richard, horrified by the damage that the pony had done, turned back and ran to the front lines, where the hoard had dissolved to nothing but stragglers trying to escape into the buildings, but were shot on sight by the level three construct sentry and several mini-sentries—Applejack and Dell decided it was time to help and both placed one in the middle of the street.

Richard sighed, “Well, that was the first wave,” he threw his backpack down then opened a bottle of Gatorade. “We still have a lot more to go!”

“You might need to stock up on ammo over here,” the Lunar Engineer said, waving them over. “News had relayed to Chrysalis that Ferals didn’t make it far; she’s sending in the all of the Grunts next, once they get organized to go.”

“How hard can they be?” Dash stole Richard’s drink and chugged the rest. “It’s not like the Ferals were tiring at least.”

“The lower ranking ones should be easier,” the Texan replied, repairing his mini-sentry. “The worst ones are the higher ups; they know how to use the melee weapons.” He then pulled out a bottle of Red Shed —a type of beer—and popped the cap. “After the grunts should be the tanks, or some call, the brutes. They should be some of the hardest ones to take down behind the elite class, but shouldn’t be too hard.”

“Well, what are we waiting for?” Richard loaded a clip of taped shells into his scattergun. “It shouldn’t be too hard to deal with those grunts.”

“I need a medic,” Spike moaned as he crawled to the dispenser. “I’m missing a leg, but I guess this thing got it.”

“Stop your whining,” the Lunar Soldier said and picked him up. “I got your back.” He lain him on top of the construct and popped open another bottle of Red Shed.

Richard then searched into his bag, and pulled out his plasma pistol. “Heh, I forgot I had this thing.” He gripped the weapon and searched for a trigger. “How do I even use this?” He felt around for a lever of some sort.

“Where’d you even get that?” Dash reached for the weapon, but the Bostonian slapped her hoof away.

“I got it at a store back in Canterlot,” Richard then pushed a small button near where the trigger should be, and fired a small glowing glob at a window. “Holy crap!”

“Watch it!” the Lunar Engineer ducked. “Plasma is very dangerous!” The window sizzled at the glob melted the glass and was now trailing down to the ground.

“Well, at least I know how to use it now,” Richard checked his watch. “It should be about time to get ready for the next hoard.” He walked out of the beaten store and into the street and waited.

“Hey Rich,” Dash trotted next to him. “I think we might need to start picking up some of the metals, our weapons might be weak against the next group of changelings.”

He waved a dismissive hand, “Don’t worry about it! We got this!” He switched for his Atomizer and placed the pistol into his side pocket.

“Whatever you say dude,” Dash ran back to her bus stop coverage, and propped herself next to it.

Applejack sat at her diner, waiting for the metal to start coming. Suddenly, a crackle from behind caught her attention, and she looked back. Instantly, she saw a changeling smashing a box. The farm pony then pulled out her Widow Maker and fired a shot at it. It yelped in pain, and instantly tried to escape, but was shot down again by her.

“You piece of varmint!” Applejack yelled. The changeling lay dead before her hooves, with the shotgun aimed at the changeling.

Several moments later after confirming it was dead, Applejack then looked at the box it was smashing. She gasped, and read it again; Respawning Device. She then took it off the shelf and placed it on the counter before her.

“I hope no one dies out there…” she trailed off, unscrewing a screw. “Might as tell the team, would hate for them to wait forever.”

She reached for the microphone and turned on the radio button. “Attention! Everyone be on the alert! The respawn device is malfunctioning! Ah repeat, the respawn device is not working!”

Jennifer lowered her shotgun-sized Ignition Cannon and pressed her ear bud in deeper. “Looks like we’re going to have to use our ranged weapons Pinkie,” she said, counting the ammo in the cannon.

“Okie dokey!” She squeaked, switching for her Manmelt. “In case you do die and not go poof ever again, do you want me to tell him?”

“What?” Jennifer aimed her cannon down the street. “Go ahead, but tell it in the most dramatic way possible!” She chuckled.

“Like a scene from Titanic?” Pinkie giggled, and pressed the back of her hoof to her forehead. “Oh save me Jack! I’m so cold Jack. I’ve always loved you Jack, don’t ever leave me!” she mocked. “Hold me Jack! Don’t ever let go.”

“Oh haha,” the pyro replied sarcastically. “How about a cutting the time a little bit shorter, but still make it dramatic.”

“Hey, it was pretty good,” the pony lifted an eyebrow and smiled. She then embraced the human and held on. “You’re the best non-pony sister I’ve ever had.”

“Hey, I don’t even try,” Jennifer shrugged, hugging back the fluffy pony. “If anything, it just comes naturally.”

“Update!” Applejack yelled from the ear bud. “The respawn device is slightly working again! But instead, it takes at least thirty seconds to fully come back. So make it worthwhile!” the mike clicked.

“Should I still tell him in case you don’t?” Pinkie let go of her and crouched.

“You can,” Jennifer looked on the street, and saw a couple of differently dressed changelings running towards them. “I think we have our first customers!”

“Whoopee!” Pinkie jumped down from the perch on top of the building and landed on top of the Grunt, instantly killing it.

They turned their heads, pulled out small daggers from their holders, and attempted to stab the joyful pony. Pinkie pulled trigger on her Manmelt, setting the changeling on fire and scrambling to get it off. The others watched their ally burn, but a loud boom sounded from above, getting their attention.

They looked at the source, but didn’t have enough time to recognize what was happening as a huge wave of red light hit them. With an explosion, the beam hit the ground and dissipated into small balls, dissolving any changelings that were nearby.

“That was, awesome!” Jennifer shouted once the balls disappeared into the melting asphalt. She then jumped from the top of the building and landed next to Pinkie, who was gathering any metal that survived the ambush. “I should use this more often!”

“How much ammo can it contain though?” Pinkie checked her Manmelt and found it completely charged. “I’m pretty sure it’s like one shot.”

“It’s actually two per clip,” the pyro then threw an orange, cage-like orb into an opening in the weapon. “But I could only hold about ten clips, and holy shit that was awesome!”

The pink pony then turned her gaze to the front of the street, where the pathway curved to their direction. Spotting no-one, she started to run towards the diner. “I’m heading back, I need to up my weapon to cause more damage,” Pinkie looked over her shoulder at Jennifer. “Wanna come?”

“Yea, though I wonder why it was only us two to become the second wave of defense and not the third,” Jennifer said, pulling out her Powerjack. “I want to see if Applejack or Zecora has any temporary potions for more health.”

“She probably does,” she replied. “But like everything else on the market, it’s going to cost us some metal.” The pony then pulled out two scraps of metal. “This one’s named Damage, and another named Bigger Propane Tank.”

“That’s cute,” Jennifer turned a corner, and was met with the final defensive line. A red dot was shining in her head.

“Stop right there!” Nick yelled from the top of his sniper nest. “Are you changelings, or friend?”

“Hey Nick! Next time, remind me to burn your hat the next time I ever get my hands around your neck!” Jennifer growled. “I really don’t like it when you’re this paranoid.”

“I don’t either!” He lowered his gun. “But I just got to be sure about it!” Twilight then nudged his arm, and took his Bazaar Bargain from his arms.

“Thanks Twilight!” Pinkie waved. “Also make sure he just gets the bow and arrow as punishment!” She giggled.

“Will do!” the alicorn waved back.

Jennifer walked into the diner, and found Applejack desperately trying to upgrade Dash’s Shortstop. With several clinks, and a drill later, Applejack returned the weapon back to the pegasus. “Need an upgrade?” She said, watching Dash teleport back to her position. “You need to make it snappy though, Ah’m hearing from the chat feed that the higher Grunts are getting to our third line. If they get past them, it’s us next.”

“We both want damage increase and ammo capacity,” Jennifer slammed her weapon on the table.

“Consider it done,” Applejack then took the weapon and adjusted the pressure on the gas pipe, added a bigger flame spray, and strapped a larger gas tank on their backs. “Should be good enough, Ah’d hate to see the metal from the changelings being burned into nothing, but here you go!”

Jennifer took her weapon and pulled out her Powerjack, “I’ll see you later Applejack, hopefully sooner though.” She ran out of diner, and with the sledgehammer’s speed boost, Jennifer made it to the third defensive line, where a couple grunts, and even several larger, if not muscular, changelings getting shot by a team of Zecora, Big Mac, a sentry, Tavish, and the Lunar Pyro.

Jennifer chuckled, and slammed her Powerjack unto the head of an unsuspecting brutish creature, who’d fallen dead after such a hit. She then switched to her Backburner and started to spray her fire at the changelings. They screamed, but were silenced by the explosions of Zecora’s stickybombs.

“Kaboom!” She taunted. “That’ll teach you to mess with me!” the zebra ran towards the oncoming hoard with her Loose Cannon. “Come and get me! I’ll be waiting!”

A loud scream in the distance split the air, stopping everyone in their tracks, and focused on the source. Eventually, a loud trampling sound was growing louder.

“What is it?” Zecora said, loading her Loose Cannon.

A changeling laughed manically, “It’s the Elites! Oh you’re done for now humans!” His head exploded the next second as Big Macintosh punched him with his Fists of Steel —would it be Hooves of Steel? “You varmint shouldn’t deserve this, but you’ve earned it,” the stallion muttered.

“Yea, uh,” a smaller changeling spoke, cowering away from the group. “I don’t want to die, but can I just be a prisoner of war? I simply don’t-” He was cut off by a decapitation with Pinkie’s sharp Lollichop.

“Sorry, but please come back when you’re right in the noggin!” The pony laughed. The others stared at her as she finished. She shrugged, “What? He was a traitor for them, why should we trust him?”

“We could’ve gotten answers about things relating to why they are doing this,” the Lunar Pyro replied.

“Well sheesh,” Pinkie rolled her eyes. “It’s not my fault that I had to make a quick decision since the Elites are on their way.”

“Right, right,” Jennifer aimed her ignition cannon down the road and fired. “That should take care of some of them.” As if on cue, an explosion happened with several short screams as a result of the destruction.

“Well, could be a bit easier if we just went and fought them ourselves,” Tavish commented, reloading his grenade launcher.

“Yea, well tell that to the really colourful Elite standing ten feet away from us with a long sword,” the pyro pointed out. She then pulled out her flamethrower and pointed it at the changeling. “If you have any guts, then come at me bro!”

The changeling roared, and jumped into the air with the sword raised over his head. Jennifer watched as he came close to her; she scooted to her right, as felt the air whoosh as the sword came down beside her. The Elite growled and swung to his left, but it was deflected by the pyro’s Degreaser. Jennifer then swung the weapon to her right, knocking the sword out the changeling’s hooves and away from him. He then raised his hooves and swung to her face where it connected. Her head jerked, and she fell.

Pinkie gasped and pulled out her Phlogistinator, but Tavish stopped her as the human pyro stood up. The changeling attempted to make another swing, but was stopped by Jennifer’s kick to his face. He fell, and raised his head to meet with the attacker, but was met with the muffler of the Degreaser. He whimpered, and was sprayed with fire. The Elite then attempted to get up, but was kicked down again and died.

“Serves you right,” Jennifer said, releasing the trigger. “Next time, come with better weapons, and try to not punch my face.”

“Ah’m getting reports that the first two lines of defense had fallen,” Applejack said through the ear-piece. “A couple of the so-called elites have reached the final line. Ya’ll need to come by and get upgrades! It’s important!”

An explosion from beside Richard pushed him forward as he turned the corner and ran towards the group. “Yo incoming,” He yelled as an Elite jumped from behind him and missed his sword swing. The scout shrieked as the changeling nearly hit him from the back. “Can I get little help over here?”

“No problemo!” Pinkie said. She then ran towards the scout and pulled the trigger to her flamethrower. The changeling noticed the beam of heat, and jumped back. The pony then quickly pulled out her man-melt and shot him at the head.

“Gotcha!” she squeaked then pushed Richard towards the group. “Next time, be careful of big meanies like him,” She patted his head. “Where’s Dashie?”

“She got caught in the heat of the moment, was backstabbed by a changeling with two daggers,” Richard aimed his Force-a-Nature where he just came from. “Several Elites are running towards us with swords, there are actually hundreds coming out right now.”

“So why are there so many elites?” Tavish put two grenades into his Loch n’ Load. “Shouldn’t there be at least fifty?”

“I don’t know, but there are a lot of Ferals and grunts following them,” Richard ran to the corner, and was suddenly attacked by a feral as it came from the corner. He tried to push the mouth of the enraged changeling, but the strength of the attack proved to be too much for him as the creature went straight for his throat. The Feral then held on, but stopped, like it didn’t get what it wanted from the dead body.

“That bug is a vampire!” Zecora yelled, and launched a cannonball at the creature. It exploded as several more various ranking changelings ran out of the corner.

Big Macintosh then pulled out his Huo-long Heater and started to shoot at several changelings as a ring of fire surrounded him. A loud gunfire from behind them sounded when an Elite was suddenly covered in yellow liquid, who was shortly killed after Jane appeared.

“Screaming eagles,” He yelled, launching several rockets into the mass. He then landed next to Pinkie and pulled out his Righteous Bison. “My Bison is better than your dumb spunk shot of a gun!” He yelled at the party pony.

“Oh yea?” She jested then pulled out her Manmelt. “It’s a competition then! The one who gets the most with their weapon wins!” She shot a Feral that leaped at her. “That’s one!”

“Ha! I already got three, cupcake,” Soldier shot a grunt at the head and pumped the futuristic weapon. “Make it four!” Pinkie growled, and reloaded her weapon.

Meanwhile, on the roof beside a taller building next to the diner, Nick continued to shoot more changelings down with his Machina with Twilight nearby shooting with her Positively Inhumane Sydney Sleeper.

Bang!

“Nice shot mate,” Nick loaded another bullet into the chamber. “But watch this one.” He looked into the scope, found his next target, and pulled the trigger.

“That was nice, but it wasn’t like this one,” Twilight replied, looking into her scope. A Feral leaped towards Big Macintosh and opened his maw just for it to disappear into thin air.

“I’ll admit; bloody hell that was a remarkable!” Nick said, patting the alicorn on the back. “Let’s never enemies okay?”

Bang!

“Already ahead of you,” She said, loading a dart filled with Jarate instead of the regular bullet. “We might need to start shooting more bullets rather than picking them off one by one; the elites are pushing closer and closer, and it’s bugging me that the sentries ahead of us are giving all they got.”

Nick looked into his scope and saw an elite pointing in his general direction, “I think their mates saw us,” He said, looking behind him.

“Lock the door behind us, they can’t come up here,” Twilight shot another. “Also, spread those three bags of chips all around, it’ll be better that we’ll hear them.” A pause, she then turned her head around into the dim light. “Nick? Nick? Are you there?”

More silence followed, suddenly a Feral jumped from the door behind and leaped right at her. Twilight then used a spell to push it back and conjured a shield spell. She then pulled out her Jarate and threw the jar, coating the feral in harsh smelling urine, and unsheathed her Bushwacka. The Feral snarled, and blindly leaped at her, landing very close to her. Twilight swung the kukri and hit it on top of the head with the flat part—she really didn’t want to kill the creature, only knock it unconscious so that it doesn’t stain her homemade vest— and readied her blade for another creature. Seeing none with her light spell, she then grabbed the changeling and threw it out the window, almost landing on the Lunar Heavy Weapons Guy.

“What is that?” He said, looking at the changeling. Its head jerked, making Heavy react by punching the creature with his Killing Gloves of Boxing, finishing it off. “What that you?” He said, looking up at the alicorn.

“Sorry,” Twilight quickly apologized, opening a bag of chips. She walked to the door, peering out, and closed it. After quickly scattering the potato chips around the ground, she went back to her position and looked into the scope.

Big Macintosh was firing his minigun at the large hoard of changelings, and also having some catch on fire. He then pulled out his Sandvich and threw it at Fluttershy, who was standing behind him. She quickly grabbed the food and took a bite.

A hiss beside her forced the pony to drop the sandwich and pull out her Vitasaw to rebound the attacker. Fluttershy turned, and found an elite bringing down her sword at the medic. The pegasus covered her face with a forearm and prepped herself for death. A gargle above her caught her attention. She moved her arm to find the Elite pulling a glass dart out of her neck. Fluttershy then took the chance to attack, and jabbed the bonesaw into the creature’s stomach.

She squirmed from underneath the dying Elite and pulled out the Quick-Fix and went back to healing the stallion before her. Another loud gunfire perked her ears, but she shrugged it off as a sniper. A sharp pain erupted from her leg, and another from her back wings. She turned to see what it was, but it went dark before she even finished turning.

Twilight winced at the scene, but avenged her death with a shot. “Sorry Fluttershy,” the alicorn falteringly whispered. “I got your back next time.”

A snap of a chip caught her attention, and she turned with the Bushwacka in hand to find Nick standing with his Huntsman. “Whoa there mate,” he said. “I’m here to tell you that it would be better if we went downstairs and sniped. These changelings are becoming smarter and I think they’re getting worse.”

“Let’s go,” She turned towards the door, and ran down the stairs. She felt a tug, and suddenly felt an unbearable pain at her back. With a loud yelp, she looked down and found a black sword poking out of her stomach. Twilight looked around, and found Nick’s body sitting nearby with another holding a Machina.

“Sorry babe,” the Changeling Elite whispered in her ear. “It’s nothing too personal, just business.” He then flicked her cheek his forked tongue and pulled out the weapon.

As Twilight’s vision was slowly turning black, the Lunar Heavy appeared with his gloves crackling with dark blue electricity. He punched the changeling with his right, and swung an uppercut into the jaw. After the changeling fallen dead, The Heavy then rushed to her side, kneeling, and pulled out his Dalokohs Bar. After snapping off a piece, he placed the chocolate into her mouth and moved her jaw. Her eyes fluttered as she swallowed the measly piece. Energy quickly flowed through her as the healing properties did its work on her body.

“Medic!” He yelled. “Could you hurry?”

Arvin appeared, holding his Crusader’s Crossbow, and shot a bolt to the foreleg. He then rushed to her side with the Vaccinator healing her with a white aura. “Don’t you worry,” He said, patting her. “I’m here.”

“Why me?” She whimpered. “Why does everything wrong starts with me and my friends?”

“It wasn’t your fault this time,” Arvin scratched her head then moved his hand to the now healing injury. “You’re not dying today, not right now at least.”

An explosion from outside caught their attention. “Doctor, charge me once we’re out there,” Heavy said, standing up.

“Go! I’ll be sure our friend here gets to the dining car before anything else happens,” He picked up the little alicorn, and held her in his arms. “Let’s go.”

Heavy exited the building and instantly reeled his minigun. “Go!”

Arvin stood from the bloody spot and ran out of the building towards the small building. A changeling appeared in front of him, but was hit by Jane’s Bison. With a quick thank you, Arvin entered the cart and placed the pony on a seat at a booth.

“Now stay here with Applejack until you can get up and moving,” Arvin said pulling his Vaccinator out. “Oh I can’t wait!”

“Hold up partner!” Applejack barked, stopping the German in his tracks. “Why did you say ‘I can’t wait’?”

He chuckled, “Well, if I can wait,” Arvin smiled as he stood nearby the door out. “Then I would patient.” He ran out of the building and stood next to the Mikhail, charging him instead of the Lunar Heavy.

The farm pony and Twilight facehoofed, “Why’d you even ask?” the alicorn replied.

“Well, Ah didn’t know he was going to say that,” She said and looked outside to see more Elites than usual attacking. Applejack then pressed the button on microphone. “Attention! The Elites have reached the final standing point! Fall back to final line of defense! I repeat, fall back!” She yelled.

Dash ran into the diner and yelled back at the pony. “We still have a chance! It’s not over yet!”

“It’s an order! We must fall back! Those varmints are becoming too overwhelming!” Applejack slammed her hoof on the counter then pressed the button on the mike. “Hold this spot as long as you can! Ah’m setting the coordinates of our teleporter to take us to Canterlot! They shouldn’t reach us for about two days if they continue by hoofing it!” Applejack then released the button and pulled out her PDA.

“I’m not giving up! Not today of all days!” Dash yelled, and attempted to snatch the device from the earth pony’s hooves.

“Stop it Rainbow Dash!” Applejack growled, stopping the proud pegasus to a halt.

“I’m sorry,” Dash lowered her hooves. “I need a potion for upgraded speed.”

“No problem,” Applejack reached beneath the counter and placed the glowing red and navy blue potion on the counter. Dash placed a bundle of metal on the table and chugged the potion. “Now hurry! I need to work on coordinates.”

(….)

Jacques looked in his binoculars into the general direction of Stalliongrad; nothing but scattered trees, plains, and grasslands. He sighed, and switched from his binoculars to a telescope.

“Are you getting anything there my friend?” François patted his back. “I’m worried about our group.” He opened his case and grabbed a cigarette, then motioned Jacques for one.

The spy grabbed one and lit it with a Zippo. “I fear that something bad has happened,” He let out a jet of smoke.

“Hey, don’t worry about it friend,” François replied. “I’m pretty sure they’re doing fine.”

Loud clopping of hooves from behind them caught their attention, but kept facing the far horizon. “Sirs, you must listen to this!” a stallion guard spoke.

“What is it?” François turned to face the white pony.

“We got reports from towns outside of Stalliongrad that they’ve been ransacked by the Changeling Swarm! We have a prediction that by the speed they’re going, they’ll be here in approximately two hours. But that’s only if they’re walking. Have you seen anything in the distance?” He let out a breath.

“We’ve seen nothing on the horizon,” Jacques turned the telescope. He looked up from the scope, and stared. “Hey François, I think you may need see this.”

The Frenchman lightly pushed him over and looked into the scope. “Merde!” François turned to face the guard. “Get the first defenses ready! Looks like we have a fight on our hands; they’re flying and it doesn’t look like they’re stopping any moment now!”

The guard nodded and ran out of the observatory room and down to a flight of stairs. He hated having to run down these stairs—they’re steep and it’s a long run. After seven minutes of nothing but a rushing run, he finally reached the bottom of the flight where two other guards were patiently waiting.

“Relay to the rest of the guards that we have to prepare our first line of defense!” He yelled to the young stallions. “Tell them that they’re flying. I’ll take the princesses to the safe room, that way they’ll be protected. Let’s go!”

An alarm sounded as Jacques inhaled the bitter smell of cigarette smoke. “Where is our team?” He said, knocking the ashes from the burning stick.

“I believe that they were left behind in Stalliongrad,” François grabbed his cigarette from his mouth and looked at the glowing red, burning tobacco, slowly turning it as he spoke. “We didn’t fail my friend, not yet anyways.” He threw the cigarette out of the window and watched as it fell out of sight.

“Not religious myself, but hope that God will help us now,” the Frenchman said, walking away and heading down the stairs.

The black mass of changelings grew ever so closer as Jacques finished his now cigarette bud and chuckled. “As if God could help us now, we’re in a different world you know,” The spy muttered. “The best we got is the stupid work of Shining Armour and his too peaceful antics.”

He turned away and walked down the stairs before he heard the loud buzzing of the changelings.

(l.^.o.^.l)

“Oww..” Richard moaned in pain as his leg camped up. “Guys, don’t tell me that something went wrong,” A pause. “Guys?”

He looked around, and instantly recognized the area he was at; on top of Rainbow Dash’s bed. The Bostonian looked around the bed to find anybody else, but found no-one except him. At least that’s what he thought until a loud clacking sound came from the downstairs. Richard looked around for a weapon of some sort, but instead grabbed a lamp.

“Hydro-levitations,” the scout waved his hand and whispered as he stepped on the cloud below him. Richard then slowly stepped out of the room and looked around. Seeing nothing, he then walked towards the stairs and looked down; nothing. With the lamp in his hand, the Bostonian then peered around the corner into the living room, and then turned the other corner into the kitchen. He quietly gasped, and saw a changeling searching around the refrigerator. Richard yelled, and raised the lamp above himself as he charged at the now terrified changeling.

“Richard! It’s me, Roxy!” She screamed, covering her face with a wooden spoon.

He lowered the weapon, and stared at her. “What time and day is it?” He said, picking up the trembling bug.

“It’s fifteen minutes after noon, about thirty days after the Attack on Canterlot,” She nuzzled into his chest. “Everyone on your team thought you, Jennifer, Fluttershy, and Mikhail were dead, especially you.”

“Why?”

“Because you’ve been gone the longest; everyone appeared at Canterlot in time to find that the city was in near collapse and successfully defend it. Chrysalis was never found as they went on a scouting mission to see if you guys made it,” She looked into his eyes. “The others that were lost were found at odd places, like Mikhail was found at a brothel in Grayphon, Jennifer was found in a state of near death of dehydration nearby Saddle Arabia, and Fluttershy was found knocked out on top of Luna’s bed—though when we had woken her up, she thought she was still at the battlefield.”

She hugged him and whimpered, “I hear Dash crying for you almost all of nights, and Jennifer coming by to place flowers at your temporary grave after we’ve given up searching. I missed you so much!”

“Wow,” Richard sat down on the floor of the cloud home and propped himself against the fluffy wall. “But, what exactly happened that made this happen?”

“The Engineers thought for a long time about this,” Roxy wiped her pupil-less eyes. “The conclusion that they came up was that the overwhelming number of cyborg changelings were causing interference by some type of waves as last of the defensive group—you guys—were escaping in the diner.”

“Any side effects they mentioned that were affect me?” Richard hugged the changeling closer, despite the hard exoskeleton.

“Only that cinnamon bread will be latched to your skin,” Roxy pulled said slice of bread away from his back and took a bite. “And that you might be very tired for about ten minutes.”

Richard playfully yawned, “Alright, that’s down.” He sighed. “So where’s my temporary grave? I’m pretty sure seeing it will probably make me be happy.”

“Why? It’s supposed to mark something that had died.”

“I know, but I just wanted to see how popular and much they cared for me,” He patted her head, “And how my fans reacted to the news.”

Roxy pushed her hoof against his chest. “Your fans were really heartbroken; although most of them were mares that like the tough boy attitude and foals that liked the cool kid’s vibe,” she leaned in. “I’ll let you in on a little secret; Nick wept that he had lost a ‘professional’ friend.”

“What was Jacques reaction?”

“He cried a little, but François denied that he did cry at the make-up funeral,” Roxy stood up from his arms and walked towards the living room. “Let’s go, I believe that your grave is really an odd one compared to others. It still receives flowers every now and then.”

(…)

Richard landed on his headstone in his Archimedes form along with Roxy in her regular form, facing the headstone. With a hop, he jumped from the top and faced the engraving.

“Was born in nineteen-eighty five, died about a year after the new contract,” Richard read the engraving aloud. “We’ll miss him,” he smiled with the beak, but noticed scratching next to it, “Even though he was a hard head, from Jennifer.” He chirped.

“Nice to know that you’re loved from very good friends,” Roxy commented, looking around to see if anyone was nearby. “And that Jennifer girl is such a loyal friend.”

“I see; so what now?” Richard engulfed himself with green fire, and transformed himself back to regular form. “Would it be okay if I just walked like this?”

“If you want people to believe that you’re some kind of living dead, then fine by me,” Roxy walked away from the grave and towards the exit. “Might as well show everyone that you’re alive, it wouldn’t hurt to put a shock on everyone’s faces.”

“Do you know where my team is currently at?” Richard halted the changeling. “I would like to go see them.”

Roxy sighed. “They’re scattered between Ponyville, Canterlot, and Stalliongrad where they are retrieving changeling larvae and eggs to raise them as citizens and no longer enemies.” She scratched her head. “Pinkie’s in town, so we can go see her before we do anything else. How does that sound?”

Richard jogged from his grave to her side and picked her up to place her on his shoulders. “That’ll be good. Just let me give you a piggyback ride for fun.”

“Someone’s pretty happy today,” Roxy purred. “I blame the teleporter problem.”

“You will not believe how much of a confusion this situation is. Trust me when I say, this is not what I completely signed up for,” he chuckled as he stepped out of the Ponyville Cemetery, and headed towards Sugarcube Corner.

Author's Note:

Yay!
You won't believe how long it took for me to finish this chapter, (despite how busy my supposedly lazy schedule is.)
So I wanted to give you this really long chapter. After making it about 9,980, I thought that making a exactly 10,000 words would be perfect. So enjoy!
I really didn't want to add the Righteous Bison (don't understand?), but the story wanted me to after I gave the Manmelt to Pinkie.

Gotta love the soundtracks from the game, and hail Spycrap.

Comments

[Maxes Altho]

I'ma read this, but only if you make a chapter in which the title is "The Spy says 'Seduce Me'", or contains that joke.

[Lion Tale]

5393478
I'm going to say this hypothetically, but there may, may not be that sometime.