Cheese 'n Crackers

by Shotoman

Boneless Supposes His Toses Are Roses

It was late in the afternoon when the pair of entertainers reached the destination set by Cheese's Cheesy Sense. Trixie couldn't help but smirk at the sight. "So, you're going to look for our client at a..." It was really hard not to laugh out loud, "... party supply shop." It was a small building, one story tall, but the garish sign that read "Bob's Party Emporium" made it the most notable on the block by a large margin.

"Yep!" Cheese confirmed with a big, toothy grin.

Trixie rolled her eyes. "Truly you are a master of deduction."

"Thanks," he said, that insipid grin never wavering. Trixie shot him a confused glance. She still couldn't get a read on whether he truly didn't get the sarcasm, understood it but just didn't care, or if his seeming ignorance of it was just his own form of it. It was one of the many things about him that was simultaneously endearing and a little bit absolutely infuriating.

Her confusion furthered as Cheese Sandwich suddenly put a very serious expression on his face, and began popping his neck, limbering up his legs, and finishing off with a stretch that popped his back. "Take this," he said in his desperado voice, as he hoofed Boneless to her. "I'm going in."

And suddenly he was gone, and a bemused Trixie was left holding a rubber chicken. Then her brain caught up.

"Now wait just a minute!"

~FiM~

"Well, waddya know? It's my favorite customer!" the not-quite middle aged, rather dumpy earth pony at the counter said as Cheese entered the shop. "You just commin' in to restock, or is this one'a your sense things?"

Cheese couldn't help but grin. It was pretty much his default face, after all. "Oh, a sense thing. Definitely, totally a sense thing. And it's all gonna start here."

Bob smirked. "You're a real master of deduction, ain't ya?"

"Y'know you're the second pony to tell me that in the last..." Cheese Sandwich was interrupted by the jingling of the bells as the door opened.

"This your sense thing?" Bob asked, when he saw a small amount of color drain from his favorite customer's face.

"Ah, no," Cheese answered, his eyes never leaving the unreadable gaze in front of him. "This is the Great and Powerful Trixie. My new, ah, partner."

Trixie smiled at that. It was scary. She was smiling and it was scary. Cheese Sandwich didn't even know a pony's smile could be scary. Why was her smile scary? "That's right," she said through that scary smile. "The Great and Powerful Trixie is your partner. Meaning I don't just get left by the cart when you are finding a client." She lightly bonked Cheese over the head with her hoof and her smile got significantly less scary. "How else am I supposed to help the new idiot in my life?"

Cheese Sandwich felt a small amount of heat in his cheeks, but he grinned over at Bob. "Still getting used to having a partner I guess. I do gotta few things I need to pick up. The client should be a few minutes. You two should get to know each other. You're my partner and my supplier, after all."

With that, Cheese Sandwich disappeared among the party poppers, balloons, and streamers, leaving Trixie alone with Bob, who was suddenly eyeing her in a way that made her somewhat wary. "So," Bob began, "You're his new 'partner,' Eh?"

"Yes, I am," Trixie said. Confidence was needed, here, and she had plenty of that. Or could fake it well enough.

At this Bob just gave a little snort. "I know something about your act, you know. Kinda surprised Cheese Sandwich let you on, to be honest."

At this, Trixie couldn't help but sigh and roll her eyes. "I am aware of my reputation, and I am aware that I've earned that reputation. It is a very long story I am not willing to share, but the Great and Powerful Trixie act has been... overhauled. Cheese Sandwich has merely offered help, to get me back on my hooves."

Bob narrowed his eyes. "And what're ya plannin' to do after you get back on your hooves?"

And there it was. Trixie brought a hoof up to her face, massaging the bridge of her snout. "So Star Dancer was telling the truth, then. He has been taken advantage of in the past."

When she brought her hoof down, she saw that Bob was still looking at her intently, but the intensity had lowered. "Uh-huh," he said. "Already spoke to the big shot movie star, eh? How'd'ya think she managed to make it so big in the first place?" Trixie nodded at that. It actually made a lot of sense. "It's happened more than a time or two. He'll find some talented-yet-down-on-their-luck talent. Great stuff for parties, you know, a dancer. Singer. Magician." Trixie stubbornly kept eye contact at that. She was not going to back down in front of a store clerk. "His parties're almost literally the best in Equestria. 'F he's chosen you to be part of that, you gotta be pretty good yerself. Doesn't take long usually for talent he's scouted to get scouted by others. Then they leave."

Bob cast a glance around, makings sure the Party Pony in question was nowhere in earshot. "Now, not all of 'em were 'taking advantage.' Show business is show business, and all that. Those'uns will still publicly give him credit, write him often, invite him to shows 'n premiers, that sorta thing. Then there's the ones like Star Dancer. And there have been several. Cheese pretends not to notice what's happened. But he's not an idiot. He knows. And it hurts. When Dancer left, he went on a kinda scary month-long party fest."

Trixie's ears flicked forward as her eyes widened. "I think he mentioned something like that coming into town. He said something along the lines of not remembering most of it."

Bob shrugged. "Kinda the point, right? Now, I see Cheese Sandwich as a friend of mine. I won't abide any mares that would do that to him again, and he's taking a big ol' risk with you. So, again, what're your plans?"

The only thing Trixie could do here was be honest, she supposed. "I cannot promise our acts will always be linked. As you said, show business is show business. But I am serious about being his partner. He needs one, I think. He is an idiot in certain matters. I admit I need him more than he needs me. But I can help him nonetheless. After that... I honestly don't know. I only met him two days ago."

That seemed to mollify Bob. "Fair enough," he said with a shrug. "You might as well browse. Who knows when the 'Sense Thing' will get here."

Trixie nodded and was about to do so, when she noticed a magazine framed on the wall behind Bob's counter. "Is that the Canterlot Time's issue about Pony Joe's second shop opening?"

A grin split Bob's face. "Sure is. He's my little brother."

~FiM~

It was maybe twenty minutes before another customer entered the store. From what Trixie could see, he was probably a few years away from middle age, but not by a lot. A fairly normal looking earth pony, in a light tone of green, with a darker green mane and tail, with just a touch of grey working into it. The new customer walked up to Bob's counter, and though Trixie couldn't hear what was said exactly, she did catch the word Cutesinera.

And suddenly, as if from nowhere, Cheese Sandwich was right next to him. "Heya! Got yourself a big shindig planned?"

The other stallion clearly didn't quite know what to make of the sudden appearance of this weirdo. "I suppose you can say that. You?" That last inquiry being made more out of politeness than anything.

"Nah, not yet. But never hurts to be prepared. 'Specially with my line of work." At this, Cheese produced a business card as if from nowhere. Odd, Trixie thought. That was simple slight of hoof. I actually saw how he did that one. Cheese, meanwhile, handed the pony the card. "Name's Cheese Sandwich. Party planner. If you need any advice or anything, I'll be over by the paper hats."

And that was that. The pony looked at the card, then looked to Bob, who shrugged with a grin. "I've seen his work. 'F you want your kid's party to be special, he'll do it." The pony seemed conflicted for just a moment more, before he sought Cheese out.

Two minutes later, the pony was gone, and Cheese had a paper with name, address, and agreed upon price. "That was a rather pedestrian business deal," Trixie said, one eyebrow raised, minor confusion in her voice.

Cheese grinned. "What? You were expecting me to be all like..." here he suddenly disappeared down a trapdoor, only to drop from the ceiling, supported by a harness and ropes, swinging noisemakers in each forehoof, a kazoo in his mouth and a big "Party Time!" banner behind him. A brief second later and he zipped back up into the ceiling and back out of the trap door, which vanished as soon as it was closed.

Trixie didn't even blink at the sudden show of impossibility in front of her. "Yes, exactly!" she replied.

Cheese let out a hearty laugh. "Oh, come on, Trixie. And I thought you were the business one! It's all about knowing the customer. Sure, plenty of ponies go in for the Song 'n Dance routine. You'll see me do that plenty. But this was a dad planning a party for his little filly. Gotta be a bit more careful with those."

Trixie found herself actually rather surprised. "Maybe you're not such a lost cause after all..."

This elicited a squee-making smile from Cheese. "I probably still am. C'mon we got a party to plan."

As the two ponies exited the shop Cheese stopped to stare at what was in front of him. Boneless was actually strapped into the harness of Trixie's wagon, and a hasty sign had been put up which read Beware of Chicken. Cheese slowly turned to stare at his new partner. "What?" she said defensively. At that Cheese fell right over and laughed, loud, long, and in Trixie's opinion, rather embarrassingly.

"Oh, please," she said with a small snort. "It cant possibly be that funny."

"N-not objectively, no," Cheese managed to wheeze out. "But because it was you..." Cheese burst out into another bout of laughter.

Trixie rolled her eyes as she evaporated the sign with her magic. "I've only known you two days and already your idiocy is starting to rub off on me." Here she disengaged Boneless from the wagon and threw him right at Cheese's face, where it impacted with a mighty squee. "You, sir, are a bad influence."

Cheese lifted Boneless off his face so he could look at his partner as he said, "I can live with that."

Comments

[Dan]

This is a surprise.

edit. Is Surprise going to show up? Maybe bring Ponyacci along? More Party Ponies!

[RK_Striker_JK_5]

I can live with this, too. I like Cheese tailoring his intros to the customer. Smart.

[Latent_Logic]

Greatly enjoyed re-reading this story, thanks for the update!