Ch. 2
Who the hay was this pony?
She looked at me through tear stained eyes. Maybe I could feed on her love if she got close enough.
"Good." The mare said, "You're awake."
What a terrible actor! She was....9..kj...8$g....percent fake. I'm not good at math. I don't think any of us are. We would have to change into a filly AND keep the real one from school if we wanted to learn. Sometimes we can do that when a filly calls in sick. The queen wanted us to learn all we can so as not to arouse suspicion when in our "costumes" as she calls them.
She trotted up to a widow I had not noticed before and open it, letting the morning breeze fly in my face. Wings! This mare had wings! That and the fact she was much taller than the average pony, and the horn growing out of her head, meant she was an alicorn! Well that explains the star-like mane and tail, but not why she came to see ME.
The alicorn came my way, her horn lighting up a dark blue. I closed my eyes, waiting for the pain, but it didn't come. Instead, I felt a weight drop from my hooves and neck. Glancing down, I realize this stupid mare has released my chains! Before she even had a chance to speak again, I had spread my wings and shot to the air!
*BANG!*
My head hits something hard and I fall to the wooden floor below. The alicorn smiles, then bursts into a all out laughing fit of giggles and snorts!
"Please, *snicker* excuse the magic shield, but I do believe it is necessary to keep you obtained."
I crawled to my bed, bruised and outsmarted by a pony of all foods.
The mare gave me an odd look, then left the room, closing the door behind her and leaving me in the dim light at I watched the sun rise from the corner of my prison.
0-0-0-0-0
Awaking to an unpleasant morning that seemed to completely overtake the room wasn't a good way to wake up. A levitating plate with what looked to be more pony food, was shoved toward me. I raised a hoof and pushed it away, not even having to look up, I knew who it was.
"Eat." She said
Eat? Has this pony even SEEN a changeling?
"No." I said, still not looking up at her.
She raised one eyebrow, clearly upset with me. I didn't care.
"Why doth thou insist on being stubborn? We eat our greens!"
I glanced left, then right. Looking for the "we" in her sentence.
A hoof reached through the magic force field and lifted my chin. I could feel the love pouring off of her and I let it sink in, eating as much of it as I possibly could. My gaze found hers and a devilish smile found its way across my face, scaring the mare just enough to get her to take a step beck, but she kept her hoof planted on my jaw.
The Alicorn gave me a confused look, almost as if she was worried for me.
"Why doth thou not bite me?"
This question caught me off guard.the thought hadn't even crossed my mind until this point. Why hadn't I?
The same evil grin formed on my face as I thought up the answer.
"If I were to kill you," I said, "I would not be able to consume the love I take from you now."
She quickly pulled her hoof from me, a horrified look upon her face. The mare took a deep breath, bringing her hoof to her chest as she did so, and left the room. Once again, I was alone. Until a shadow crossed my face.
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I like the story but don't take this as me being mean or anything but the chapters do seem pretty short think you can try making them just a little bit longer
3937121 thank you ever so much my good pony and i shall take your advice in my chapters. A very busy schedule and what not does not allow a lot of time to write.
princess luna?
Gah zee I's have it!
I honestly cannot tell if this was a formatting error or censoring a cuss word.
capitalize the I.
Please don't put sound effects in segments of dialogue.
Luna's being way to friendly to this guy.
3952360
I think you missed a slightly larger error. Maybe he didn't notice the widow in the corner but how did he know her husband died? It seems fishy to me. Mayhap it should be a window.