Cutie Mark Crusader Revengers

by Minds Eye

Chapter 2: The Study of Sparkle

Scootaloo waved a hoof to disperse Sweetie Belles incoming breath. "I just think she should warn us when she eats onions for breakfast. Who even does that anyway?"

"Rarity," came the quick reply. "She's teaching me a new omelet."

Scootaloo groaned. "Then we're using the thinking spot one at a time."

Apple Bloom shook her head. "No way, no how. You were the one who wanted this, remember?"

The three fillies sat to the side in the clubhouse. A clean, onion free zone surrounded the tiny red circle in which they found themselves. Perhaps it was the distraction of the odor, but ideas were slow in coming. In fact, there was only one, and Scootaloo wasn't ready to let it go. "I still think that poison joke stuff is our best bet."

"I've told you she's seen it before. She'll know what it is and fix herself up in a snap."

"Yeah, but she's an alicorn now. That won't change anything?"

"If you want to mess with that stuff, be my guest. I just want you to know that if you start talking in bawks you'll never hear the end of it from me."

Sweetie Belle lit up. "I have something! You know how she's all organized, right? She hates it when things are out of place. So what if one of us distracts her, and then the other two go in the library and-"

"And what?" Scootaloo grunted. "Move everything slightly to the left?"

"No, no, no, another one of the two distracts Spike if they have to, and then they sneak a bunch of books out."

"Oh, that is perfect!" Scootaloo started laughing. "She won't know where they are, she can't look to see who checked them out, she'll absolutely freak!"

"Yeah!" Apple Bloom pumped her hoof. "And that exactly why we're not gonna do that! Do you really want another Smarty Pants thing?" Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle shuddered. That was a good point. "Now listen," the earth pony continued, "what makes a good prank? It catches you by surprise, right?"

Sweetie Belle nodded. "That's right. She can't see it coming. We should hit when she least expects it."

"The library is too obvious," Scootaloo added. "She'll get suspicious if we just start hanging out again so soon. So...how often does she leave the library? Where does she go? What exactly does she do?"

"Yeah, we don't really know that much about her," Sweetie Belle said. "Like, is she afraid of spiders or something like that? Something we can use?"

Apple Bloom suddenly jumped and lit the lamp over their heads. "We'll beat her with her own game! It's time to learn a thing or two. We're going on a field trip."

---

Applejack grit her teeth as she saw the look on the faces of the Cutie Mark Crusaders. They never looked this eager without some mischief to back it up. The fact they were prepared to write down her every word did nothing to calm her nerves. "Why would ya'll be asking about Twilight? You didn't start up that Gabby Gums nonsense again, didja?"

"Nope!" Her sister beamed up at her. "Cheerilee gave us an assignment to research Ponyville history. We thought we'd do something more recent."

"'An in depth look at one of Ponyville's most famous', yeah, you told me." Every instinct in Applejack's body was telling her to run away from this conversation. "Why don't you just go ask Twi yourselves? Just because she's a princess doesn't mean she won't make time for you." The three fillies looked at each other in a panic. She knew it. Something was wrong.

"Um, Twilight won't tell us all of the embarass-"

"What she means is," Scootaloo began after stuffing a hoof in Sweetie Belle's mouth, "Twilight is too modest to give us a real look at her. I'm sure you know some things that she wouldn't tell us herself."

Applejack shook her head. "No way I'm talking bad about my friend behind her back. You three get on now, and let me stay out of this. Just like that noodle incident."

---

Rarity raised a hoof to her mouth and giggled. "Twilight was so wrapped up in her reference guide she didn't even notice how Applejack and I disposed of that tree limb." It wasn't particularly ladylike to share the private details of a slumber party, but the girls were trying so hard to pay attention. What a rare treat it was to have Scootaloo and Apple Bloom listening to her as well! She worried about those two, honestly. Rainbow Dash and Applejack were fine role models, but they both lacked a certain...polish.

Sweetie Belle tapped her chin with her pencil. "So that's it? There's nothing else you can tell us?"

"For what, Sweetie? Your phony school report?" Scootaloo and Apple Bloom looked at her in shock. Naiiiilled iiiit, she thought to herself if a sing-song voice.

"Oh, no Sis, we're just wondering how Twilight might leave herself open to a surprise attac-"

Scootaloo tackled Sweetie Belle to the floor. Apple Bloom rushed to cover for her. "A surprise anniversary party! For her, uh, princessness!"

"The word is 'coronation,' dear." Rarity smiled knowingly. "Does Pinkie Pie know that you three are cutting in on her turf, as it were?"

Scootaloo gave Sweetie Belle a look before answering. "We might have to bring her in to help us out. We didn't find out much here. Let's go crusaders."

So she wasn't helpful, was she? Rarity laughed to herself and let it slide. "Girls," she called out before they left, "this scheme-hatchery of yours...it won't result in another noodle incident, will it?"

Scootaloo turned on her with fire in her eyes. "That wasn't our fault!"

---

"It was totally your fault!" Rainbow Dash nearly fell out of the sky as she howled in laughter. Her newly adopted sister sat next to Fluttershy, looking up at her defiantly.

"If Snips and Snails didn't knock over that crate, it wouldn't have gone wrong!"

Rainbow laughed harder. "Gone wrong? How could it have gone right?" She stifled herself as Scootaloo hung her head dejectedly. "I mean, Scoot, come on. What have I been telling you about flying? There's wind, and gravity, and more going on than just you. You gotta think a few moves ahead."

Fluttershy stroked the little filly's mane. "Oh, it wasn't all bad, Scootaloo. My animals were happy to help with the clean-up. They loved the noodles, even though they couldn't finish them all."

Rainbow Dash rolled with more laughter. That was why Fluttershy's animals were so excited to see the crusaders! Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle charged into Fluttershy's back yard to chase and play with their newfound friends, leaving the three pegasi to talk.

Rainbow forced herself to stop laughing again at a warning stare from Fluttershy. This sister thing was still new to her. Scootaloo looked up to her now more than ever, and she didn't need any more mockery. "Okay, okay, forget about that," she said as she landed on Scootaloo's side opposite Fluttershy. "That was last week, and this is now. What's eating you, kid?"

Scootaloo lit up and spread a piece of paper in front of her. "Tell me everything you know about Twilight. Like what she does, why she does it, that sort of thing. We're writing a report on her for school and-"

"No you aren't," Fluttershy interrupted gently.

Scootaloo threw down her pencil in disgust. "Why does every pony say that?!"

Rainbow smirked at her. "Because the next time you three try this hard at school will be the first time you three try this hard at school. I think it was you who said, 'Who wants homework as a cutie mark?'" The filly groaned and looked at her hooves again. Rainbow nudged her with an elbow. "Come on. Tell us what's really going on."

Scootaloo looked up at her, and over to Fluttershy, who smiled sweetly. She gave a heavy sigh and started to talk. "We're just looking for some payback because Twilight-"

A silver bolt shot between the two mares. Rainbow turned in surprise to see Scootaloo lying on the ground behind them, dazed. Sweetie Belle used a hoof to fan off her horn as Apple Bloom ran up to the two remaining upright pegasi with a grin. "We're just trying to pay Twilight back for all she's done for Ponyville. We really want this to be special, so it has to be a surprise."

Fluttershy looked to Rainbow in worry, and Rainbow looked to her with a smile before addressing the crusaders. "Do you three really think I don't recognize the set-up for a prank?"

Fluttershy was less amused. "She said payback. Girls, why are you doing this? Nothing good comes from revenge. If you're this upset with Twilight, you need to talk with her about it. I'll even go with you. Kindness always helps more than anger."

"We tried talking," Scootaloo spat as she pulled herself up. "It didn't do any good. So, we've gotta try something bigger."

Rainbow shook her head. "Too big. What you have to know about Twi-"

"Rainbow Dash, don't you dare!" Fluttershy glared at her icily. "We are not getting involved in this. They already told us Applejack and Rarity refused to help them, and now we are too. They have to do the right thing."

Fluttershy turned and walked back into her cottage. Rainbow watched her leave and looked back down at the smiling faces crowding her. She groaned silently. What was the right thing? Shouldn't she help? But Applejack and Rarity turned them down, and they've been sisters longer than she was. "Twilight...is just out of your league. The best thing you can do is probably let it go." She took off before giving the crusaders time to respond.

---

Scootaloo kicked a rock down the path as the crusaders made their way back to Ponyville. Rainbow Dash had been her last hope. The sun was setting, and they were no closer to their goal. If the other two weren't still behind her...she couldn't blame them. "We're not just letting it go, are we?"

Apple Bloom put her fears to rest. "No, we're not letting it go! We've spent a day trying to come up with a plan. I want to see this done."

Sweetiee Belle threw her head back and shouted. "We are the Cutie Mark Crusaders! We will endure failure, for we are joined together with the strongest of forces!"

"Taffy!" Scootaloo yelled.

"Tree sap!" Apple Bloom answered.

The three fillies fell over each other in hysterics. It felt good to laugh after their frustration. The day wasn't a total waste after all.

Sweetie Belle was the first to contain her giggles. "There's still one more thing we can try. We can always ask her.”

No sooner had she said the word then the ground began to shake. Cracks opened in the earth, emitting whistling, pink steam. The crusaders huddled together as the steam gathered in a cloud before them. In a brilliant flash of light, the cloud vanished and revealed a pink pony sitting in mid-air, balanced on her bushy tail. She was dressed in a Saddle Arabian scarf and headdress, and she held a mystical orb of fate's destiny in her lap. Her eyes were closed in serene tranquility.

"Oh Crusaders of the Marks of Cutie," she spoke in a voice of infinite wisdom and calm, "long has this day been for you, and with no fruit to bear. Your summons of laughter have reached my ears. Madame Pinkie has come to answer you one question."

What in Equestria was this?! Scootaloo stayed down with her friends, thinking about what she just heard. It finally dawned on her. One question! She opened her mouth, but Sweetie Belle was faster than she was.

"Can we just talk to Pinkie Pie, please?" Scootaloo face hoofed. That was a question!

Madame Pinkie opened her eyes and regarded the fillies with a cool disinterest. Another cloud of steam burst from the ground. When it cleared, Pinkie Pie was back to her normal...ish self, smiling widely at the girls with her head cocked to the side. "Well of course you can, silly! Whassup?"

Roll with it, Scootaloo thought. "We're trying to prank Twilight, and we can't figure out how to do it. Can you help?"

For the briefest of moments, the quickest of heartbeats, the splittest of seconds, Pinkie Pie looked completely serious. Then it was gone, and she was rolling on back, kicking her legs in laughter. "You three-you three don't know how to prank Twilight?! It-it's so simple! Here I thought I was the Element of Laughter!" Scootaloo felt her cheeks flush red. Did they miss something?

Apple Bloom stamped a hoof. "So just tell us already! We've asked every pony!"

Pinkie stopped laughing long enough to ask, "Every pony? You asked every pony and they didn't know either?!" Her laughter was only interrupted by her occasional snorts. This time, Sweetie Belle joined in.

She blushed under the glare of her two friends. "Its...its infectious."

Pinkie Pie looked up at the girls from her back. "You three really want to know how to prank Twilight?" They nodded. "You really, really want to know?" They nodded again. "You really-really-really-"

"Really, really, really want to know!" Scootaloo took a quick breath to calm down.

Pinkie looked at her in amazement. "Whoa! That's six reallys! Okay, come closer." She rolled onto her stomach and waved them in. "Closer...closer...closer...good." All four faces were inches apart now. "The thing you have to know is that Twilight..." Pinkie pulled back and quickly looked around for eavesdroppers. She leaned back in to whisper the end of her message. "Hates. Being. WRONG!"

Scootaloo staggered back and fell on her face. "That's...that's it?"

"That's it," Pinkie chirped as she bounced around. "Oh, you should have seen Twilight the day she found out about my Pinkie Sense. She tried SO hard to explain it, and she was SO angry when she couldn't, she practically exploded! I think her mane caught on fire! Trust me, there's no better way to get under Twilight's skin than to prove her wrong about something. Anything else I can do for you?"

Sweetie Belled looked to her friends before answering. "No, I think you've done enough." Pinkie Pie saluted them, and hopped away. "So," Sweetie began, "Twilight hates being wrong. Twilight, who went to the most prestigious magic school in Equestria."

"Twilight," Apple Bloom continued, "who was hoof picked for special lessons by Princess Celestia herself."

"Twilight," Scootaloo finished glumly, "who lived in one library or another for most of her life. We have to be smarter than that."

"Not necessarily." Sweetie Belle tapped the ground with a hoof, deep in thought. "We're going about this the wrong way. Rainbow Dash said we're out of our league, and Pinkie Pie just proved that true. I mean, look at us. We've spent all this time trying to study Twilight like she does with everything, and what do we have to show for it?"

"Nothing," Apple Bloom was forced to admit.

"Right. We couldn't even fool Twilight's friends, much less Twilight herself. We'll never beat her like this. So all we're left with is what we agreed on this morning."

"A good prank is unexpected," Scootaloo said.

"Exactly. We can't outsmart her, so all we can do is catch her by surprise. Let's call it a day for now. Think of some ideas. When we meet at the clubhouse tomorrow, nothing is off the table."

Comments

[SuperPinkBrony12]

Pinkie Pie!

What's so funny about getting under Twilight's skin? You're better then that!

[OmniFox]

What noodle incident?

[CHeighlund]

"'A good prank is unexpected,' Scootaloo said."

But they've now been with all five of Twilight's closest friends, at least three of whom will probably end up attempting to warn Twilight something's coming. Even if she doesn't know what it is, doesn't the fact Milady Checklist knows something is coming mean she's unlikely to be taken unaware?