Ponyville Volunteer Ambulance

by PTR-RainbowDash

Paperwork Perils

Chapter 4 “Paperwork Perils”

“Done!” Exclaimed Starshine as she punched the stapler down on her finished PCR. The first task of the day was complete. Since she was already on the subject of PCRs, she decided to take on the task of reviewing all the recent PCRs for Quality Assurance (QA). Opening the lockbox revealed quite a sizeable stack of PCRs… it was going to take a while.

“Okay! First one… 3769, crew of three, priority three response for intoxication/overdose, town square. Should be easy enough.” According to the PCR, the patient was one “Berry Punch”, an earth pony mare whom was a local resident. Police had spotted her and called for the ambulance. “Based on the police issued sobriety test performed prior to EMS arrival… patient had a blood alcohol concentration of point three seven…?” she read from the report with hesitation in her voice upon reading point three seven. “Patient was unable to keep herself upright and reported having started her day with a handle of vodka. Only 10% of the original contents remained in the bottle upon police arrival. Patient stated she may or may not have purchased more alcohol throughout the day…? For the love of Celestia, how do you even get that drunk before dinner!?” Starshine’s jaw slowly became more and more slack as she read on. Apparently the patient had tried to leave the ambulance while it was moving several times, and had also managed to procure more alcohol from an unknown location when the crew wasn’t looking. Furthermore there was a note stating that the second medic needed a new uniform because the patient attempted to rip it off of him. Thankfully that seemed to be the last of the mayhem reported in the PCR and it could be signed off as complete and ready for storage.

With some unease, Starshine pulled out the next in the pile of PCRs. “Okay, let’s hope this one has some sanity to it… three seven six nine, crew of two, priority one response for a hoof injury… what. Priority one for a hoof injury!?” Starshine place her hooves against her temples and slowly massaged the area, her eyes closed as she tried to stop the oncoming headache… it was going to be a long day.

An hour later and Starshine had only managed to finish four more PCR reviews. Of those four, Berry Punch re-appeared in two of them, both of which had the same date and pre-arrival instructions… intoxication/overdose. It was time to take a break.

Starshine made her way over to the kitchen, opened up the fridge and got out some milk, poured herself a glass and placed it on the counter. She grabbed a muffin then sat down on one of the stools and had her mid morning snack. The kitchen was always stocked with free food for the on duty crews and dispatcher. One had to keep oneself fueled and ready to go, ponies’ lives were on the line after all. Speaking of which…

Tones played throughout the station before the buzzers and alarm bells activated. “Ponyville for the priority three call for the traumatic injury outside Sugarcube Corner, pegasus into mailbox. Caller is a third party and states that the impact was at a high velocity and that the mailbox broke on impact. So once again that’s Ponyville for the priority three call, Sugarcube Corners traumatic injury of pegasus vs. mailbox. Ponyville?”

What was this? Citizens in trouble? Paperwork waiting in the office!? “WHOO! Extended break time!” Starshine yelled as she ran out of the kitchen, into the hallway, used the walls for banking, and almost clipped the door frame as she tumbled into the dispatch office. Sprawled out on her back and tongue sticking out the side of her mouth she looked up at the stunned dispatch mare. She was a soft green color with blue-ish and white hair. What was her name? Oh yes. “Lyra! Wanna go for a ride?”

The mare before her face hooved then swiveled around in the office chair and hit the radio, her voice sounded bored but there was definitely some amusement hidden within. “EMS, Ponyville acknowledges the call, three seven six nine is responding, base is going off the air.” With that she swiveled around and offered a hoof up. Starshine took it and slowly righted herself before galloping out the door in excitement.

In bay two stood three seven six nine, the oldest of the three rigs. To its left, an empty spot where three seven seven nine would be had it not been at the hospital at that moment. Starshine grabbed the shoreline plug with her teeth and yanked it out hard before spitting it off to the side and hopping into the rig. She hit the battery switch and the consoles flickered to life. The engine let out a roar as the mechanical beast awoke from its slumber. The passenger door opened and Lyra hopped in. Red and white lights flew across the walls. “Rotator lightbars…” Starshine thought to herself as Lyra got herself settled in. “They draw current like it’s no one’s business, and they may require more repairs… but they have a beauty not seen in LEDs…oh well, enough nostalgia, it’s drivin’ time!” Starshine rolled down the window, ensured the GPS was on the live map page, and slapped the siren onto hyper as the ambulance rolled out of the bay and onto the streets. Back to wail then over the bridge and on towards Sugarcube Corner.

With the morning in full swing, travel was slower than usual (for an ambulance that is). Some sort of collision involving two carts had occurred at one of the intersections, the owners of said carts arguing in the middle of the street. The argument was in fact so heated that regardless of how long Starshine had her hoof on the horn, the bickering stallions failed to notice the ambulance waiting. She even had to go so far as to hop out and move the carts herself before the ambulance could continue on.

Finally, after fifteen minutes of driving, the ambulance came to a halt in front of Sugarcube Corner. As Starshine expected, right in front of the store, with letters scattered all over the ground, laying right next to a broken mailbox, was Ditzy Doo… and a box of muffins. Starshine couldn’t help but smile a little as she put on the parking brake and hopped out of the ambulance. “Morning, Ditzy!”

The grey mare looked over with a sheepish grin, her eyes pointing opposite ways “Morning!”

Lyra hopped down out of the rig and gave a wave “Hey Ditzy, got over-excited about muffins again?”

Ditzy Doo started to nod profusely then grabbed the box of muffins in a tight and loving hug as Lyra walked over and started magically examining the mailmare. As expected, there were no injuries other than a few scratches and bruises. Lyra then pulled out an RMA form and pen, holding them out for Ditzy. “Alright Ditzy, you know the drill.” Ditzy grabbed the pen in her mouth and signed the form.

Ditzy drew out the box of muffins and opened the top, holding it out towards the ambulance crew “Muffin?”

Starshine took one and magicked it over into the driver seat. “Thanks Ditz! Lyra, make sure to get a full set of vitals before we leave.” She said as she trotted through the door into Sugarcube Corner. She hopped up and placed her hooves on the counter. “Morning Mrs. Cake!”

“Morning deary! Be with you in just a moment!” came a reply from back in the work area. A minute or two later and out came Mrs. Cake with a fresh tray of cupcakes. She slid them into the glass display then sat down to rest. “So what can I get you today?”

“A large coffee to start, no cream or sugar, two cranberries and four blueberry muffins, and a croissant.” Canterlot tones started playing from her radio as she finished the order.

“Shall I expect you to come back for your order later then?’

Starshine shook her head and smiled “Canterlot tones, not Ponyville.” Alert tones suddenly played, followed by the tones of Trottingham and Ponyville. Starshine’s eyes widened as the tones played. Alert tones and station tones at the same time were quite unusual.

“Canterlot for an MCI, Trottingham mutual aid to Ponyville for alert conditions, and Ponyville mutual aid to Canterlot for an MCI. Standby.”

“Strike that Mrs. Cake, I’ll be back later” Starshine turns around and galloped towards the door.

“Stay safe, deary” said Mrs. Cake before writing down the order.

Starshine jumped the steps to Sugarcube Corner and galloped around to the driver side before she realized she had another pony with her. “Lyra! Let’s go go go!” she yelled as she nearly ripped the door off in excitement, hopping right in and hitting the primary warning lights, hoof at the siren, ready to go. She was nearly bouncing in her seat as Lyra took her time getting into the passenger seat. Once Lyra was all buckled in, Starshine put it in drive, turned on the siren, and floored it. They barely made it to the first intersection before the rest of the dispatch came through.

“Calls canceled for Trottingham and Ponyville.”

“C-canceled…?” repeated Starshine, followed by some rather crude comments.

11:42

Starshine hopped out of the rig and used her magic to plug in the shoreline… perhaps a bit more forcefully than intended. Although they had returned to Sugarcube Corner to pick up the baked goods, her mood was still sour from the false alarm… though baked goods always helped.

“Starshine, everything okay?” After Starshine’s reaction to the canceled call, Lyra had kept quiet until now.

“Just peachy.” Starshine replied without turning her head, merely turning around and walking towards the door. Suddenly she found herself tumbling around on the floor then on her back with a unicorn pinning her.

“You need to eat something!” Lyra was pinning her and levitating a muffin above her.

“No!”

“Eat the damn, muffin!” Lyra pushed the muffin against her muzzle. Her wings glowed as she pushed back with her own magic, the muffin acting like it was in an invisible tug of war. Suddenly she felt a sharp pain between her legs and tried to yell only to find said muffin in her maw. Grudgingly she chewed on the muffin and finally swallowed it.

“You didn’t have to knee me in the crotch, you know…”

“You and I both know that was necessary. Your mood swings are terrible when you don’t eat enough!” Lyra was somewhere between anger, annoyance, and sadness.

Lyra had a point. Hunger did tend to amplify her bad moods… about tenfold… She let out a sigh and nodded her head a few times “You’re right… I shouldn’t have used so much magic earlier. I have to ask though… who told you to tackle me?”

That question seemed to lift the mood, if Lyra’s grin was genuine that is. “Roseluck may have tipped me off.”

“Well… I guess that’s okay then, since it was Roseluck.” a faint blush spread across her cheeks at the mention of that name… Roseluck was quite a beautiful mare after all… her wavy red hair… that curvaceous flank… Starshine tried to shake the thoughts out of her head, but the damage had already been done.

“Ooh, somepony has a crush!”

Starshine crossed her forelegs and looked away in defiance “I so do not!”

“You’re so cute when you’re embarrassed.”

“Fine, whatever, could you please let go of me? Pretty please?”

“Well… since you asked nicely!” And with that Lyra hopped off of the pinned pegasus and offered a hoof up, which Starshine gladly took. “The day is still young. Still plenty of time to make it a good day.”

“Paperwork or not… great day or horrid day… I think I owe a few ponies an apology or two.”

“Huh?”

“Well the trouble all started with the first call of the day…” Starshine and Lyra walked off towards the rest of the base. There were better places to recount stories than a concrete floor.