I had woken up, bright and early with a smile on my face, only to realise my curls tightened up further then usual. I had to do something spectacular today. If I didn’t, I would have waisted a perfect opportunity to spread more joy.
On second thought, apparently there was no party planned for the day and no special occasions. Just a regular day at the office, which did not make sense. If I am extra bouncy and happy, there had to be a reason.
I did not really have to go over the calendar to know when or for whom I had been intended the next party. I am incapable of forgetting as much as a single little detail, which is a curse by many a Pony’s admission.
Slipping my hooves down onto the floor, seeing bright reflections from balloons flooding the ceiling. Both yellow and blue once, they always clung to my ceiling. The special pink variety usually crowded the space under my bed after Twilly had enchanted them with her special spell to brighten my day.
Naturally the floor is covered with red cherry wood panels, while the walls are covered with the new wallpapers, a light pink with multi-hued balloons I had found, not too long ago. I had been ecstatic as I found it.
Considering where I had in mind, going, I opted to put something a little more festive on. I moved over to my small wardrobe and withdrew a pair of particularly tight, shiny black panties, and stepped right into them. Feeling the elastic material cling to my generous hips and follow my every move as exactly as the reflection in the mirror. From there I picked up a rainbow shimmering tight knee-long skirt, stepping right into it, thus covering the panties up while I was at it. A matching top and I could be on my way. Lifting it up over my head, feeling it slide down and into place. With merely a slight tug and it was into place, hugging my upper chest, holding my jigglies in place.
Affording the mirror a quick glance before I continued to the door, slipped it to the side and went out of my room, merely closing the door before I bounced down the flight of stairs, affording the framed images of parties past intermittent glances on my way down before I hit the floor of the ground floor.
From there, I continued down the hall and through the bakery to the hidden stash of last minute pastries and pulled out a plate of Muffins, a glass and a pitchet of juice before I got to sit down, slowly chewing the Muffins one at the time, affording a moment to pour myself some juice I soon washed down the Muffins with.
As my hooves rested on the smooth tiles of the floor where I sat I momentarily looked out at the café and the beautiful oak wood covering the floor, even if it wasn’t my choice, but it is withstanding the wear and tear of constant use by countless hooves walking there.
As I had finished my breakfast off, I carried the reminders back, slipping the glass into the dishes and the pitchet into the fridge.
Now I bounce right back up the stairs and into my room. I am going to where I intended to go from my room, anyway. The one detail remaining, before I go is making myself presentable for the occasion.
Sitting by my desk, uncapping the vials, polishing my nails with a shimmering high gloss polish, one by one, starting with the nail of my right thumb, from the centre, base down all the way, then right and left. I had done this before so I could make it in my sleep. I managed to cover the entire nail and nothing but the nail. Repeating the process, nail by nail, then he same for my left hand. Now I recapped the vail and was done with the manicure.
Can as well add just a little bit more flare so I picked up a matching lip-gloss, painting my lips, leaving them nicely glossy and shimmering. From there I applied the eye shadow matching the lip-gloss and figured I was down.
I pick a pair of metallic bloody red boots and step right into them before I push up my signature rift to where I intended to go, merely pulling a small stack of posters, slipping them into the saddle bag before I stepped through.
I hear the jolly squeaks as my hooves hit the floor on the other side. This is little more than a utility closet in what appears to be a seldom used hall in the lower sub levels in a hotel. I had picked this building based on reputation and available services. Why else? They host Parties, Conventionss, Conferences and an assortment of other similiar get-togethers.
From what I can see, the prices are fair and the services reasonably good, at least in my taste. I had sampled the cuisine available in some of the restaurants that were open at the time I was here before. The atmosphere seems intimate, open and in general accepting in my opinion, but what do I know? I am merely a guest who slips in the back door, unannounced.
As I wear my boots, I manage to blend in, while hiding my equine nature just enough, not to draw any uninvited attention. I do not like for them to stare at me, as much as I do enjoy to be in the centre of attention.
Speaking of attention, I would like to direct some of your attention towards having a party, right now. Well, I want to help a party for you, or any others who feel the need to have a party or in general having a good time. It is after all my job.
For a moment, I pondered if Iwas to negotiate the stairs, or take Ellie up on the ride. You see, Ellie, the waitress is the name I assigned on the lift, and elevator, if you will. Oh well, today I chose the stairs. A moment later I had bounced to the staircase and was merrily bouncing up several steps at the time. Had I been a Pegasus, I could have flown up, I imagine.
Once I reached the lobby, I soon found the spot where I used to place my poster. I had been here before so I have an account with them. Good thing too. As I recall, I still did have a positive balance on the account as well.
The simple arrangement was that I had footed the initiall bill, then they charged the people coming, so that my account could stay afloat. Even if I had arranged the party. Last I checked, my parties were so popular, they had even been asked to keep the parties going, just based on what my initial instructions were. Guess I couldn’t actually blame them for that, now could I?
“Hiya, I am here to ask for a few small details, as in a Party, if that isn’t too much to ask? I just need a small announcement on flyers and similar notifications for people to know of the event. Anyone who like to hold a party, featuring me, as it were. You just give them the room that fits the party they are asking for and let me know where and when. I will be there!” I put forth.
“Greetings, Diana. I haven’t seen you here in a while. I am sure we could drum up the attention for your next Party. You have become quite the celebrity around here. Actually, we have become much more popular since the day you first came and mainly because of your activities too, if truth is to be told!” she pointed out.
“Who wouldn’t love to be on an out of control Party? I could promise so much more fun than most others who try to set up a Party!” I pondered.
“So we have noticed. If I didn’t know better, I would have gone as far as to say there is Maic to your Parties!” she confessed.
“Ah, yeah. I keep forgetting, you don’t see magic in your job, do you? Although I am incapable of forgetting, though!” I responded with a beginning giggle to my voice.
“Punshing in the last details of your Enterprise!” she committed.
“Lydia, was it? This will be a blast!” I promised her.
“Yeah, I know. Your parties always are. I actually managed to catch one, on my off time!” she
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I read your story, it was great! You go into detail a whole lot, which I find amazing! Although there wasn't much interaction between characters, you seem pretty good with that, too. You seem to have a definite plot for the story, which I admire in a writer. While the story was good , there were a few things I had noticed about your writing.
1. Verb tensing.
In several places, you change from either present to past or vice versa. While it is acceptable to change tenses as you change paragraphs, you do it within paragraphs. For example:
2. Incomplete sentences.
You have sentence fragments in a few places in the story, most of them lacking a subject. For example:
3. Awkward phrasing.
In some places, you have sentences worded a bit weirdly. Usually this can be fixed by just reading your story out loud while looking it over. If something doesn't sound right, it's probably wrong. For example:
*this is also tense-change
Whelp, that's all I caught. The story's great, and I would love to see where this goes! Upvote/track!
5390389 Thanks for pointing out issues you felt could be done better than I originally wrote it.
On second thought, I made a few changes along the lines in order to streamline the tenses, even if some details are talking about what had been done before the story takes place, while most of the rest is whathappens as she is there.
For now, I can't come up with any way to express points Two and Three.
I picked up a few more details, just a few minor once, but I got them as I was looking for what you pointed out.
This chapter didn't feel like a section that requires all that much dialogue since it is about Pinkie Pie preparing, rather than interacting with others.
I enjoy sprinkling details in my stories. I try my best to paint thepicture of whatis going on, choosing the words I feel bringing the story to life. Partof the challenge is in realising that most of my readers haven't read all the other stories.
There is an Easter Egg at the end of the chapter, if you noticed it.
5391269 No problem! I've always liked editing, so it's no hassle on me. It's not like there was that much to be fixed in your story to begin with.
Do I sense foreshadowing?
And about the Easter egg, eh... I'm not usually one to quickly pick up on references
5391902 Thanks, I guess this would say that I do develope my writing, dispite what some Neigh-sayers like to say? Even if this may be just one of my latest stories actually published. Even a quich reading through and pointing at scattered insidents would still be of great help for me and my writing, I think.
A foreshadowing is permitted, I am not pointing out future events. The story would be better with more dialoge overall, this is a story about the party, after all. Just that she was preparing most of it on her own.
I take it most of us knows that Pinie Pies's full nameis 'Pinkamena Diana Pie', so when she leaves Equestria, Ponykind and even us Brownies (Pegasisters) behind, she commonly goes by Diana.
If you never saw the show named 'V', which went on the air somewhere in the 80's, I think it was, no wonder if you did not pick up on this. The other leader was named Lydia. Some of us who speak languages other than English may find something fun in the name, on second though.
5392929 Well, yeah. If you've been writing as many stories as you, then of course you'll improve! Ignore the neigh-sayers. At this point, they have no reason to say you haven't improved from the time you wrote your first story.
Oh, I see. So about how long do you want the story to be?
Yeah, I could see how her going by Pinkie Pie would raise more than a few questions
Ah, can't say I have. I was born in '95, and never really watched TV shows from the '80s. But I think some of the older bronies should be able to pick up on the reference.
5392976 I gues that is why we call them Neigh-Sayers? They don't really add all that much to the conversation either.
I would have to include a party into the story. Then I think I need another chapter to lead up to it and one for an 'Epilogue', or it wouldn't be complete.
She may be enjoying the attention as such, but it would be so much of it in all the wrong places it would defeat the purpose for her. She went out in order to spread joy and laugher, not merely to grab attention, after all.
I like to have her out in this capacity. So long as the currency is joy, her Generocity is infinit and without borders. We have seen her going out of her way, just for the one smile, she doesn't even care if he was not a Pony but a cranky Donkey or a Griffon.
I may make this into a sequel nd add more sequels to the overall story line later, if and when I choose to. I think there is a story that could serve as prequel, thus explaining a few details, even if it mainly are small details at this point. The story may be better as a Stand-Alone anyway?
I chose to use the name based on a few comments, aside from the fact that her name goes well with similiar names, just like Lydia for a female, while I could have made a run for Will(or William) if I had chosen a male for the post? It would have changed the colour of the Egg-shell, but the egg is still there. Probably a larger audience for him, than Lydia?
On the other hoof, there may be other Egs with a Diana in them?