In the Name of Sanity

by Featherheart

Impossible Regeneration

Inter-dimensional Transport Guns are not toys. Do not allow children near your ITG.

The Arcanic Corporation is not liable for any injuries acquired when using the ITG. This includes injury to self, others, and the fabric of space and time.

Do not use the ITG to change important historical events.

If you become trapped in another dimension please call…

River chuckled to herself as she read the directions printed on the barrel. The Doctor had made heavy modifications to the gun, but left the warnings intact, probably just so River could get a laugh.

It was strange. Most people would be panicking, having what was pretty much the fate of the universe thrust into their hands. But Doctor River Song had no such qualms. She was at ease as she strode out of the TARDIS, following the directions the Doctor had given her in the simulated restaurant he had provided.

"…and down this street until you reach a chain-link fence."

"Chain link fence, right," she had mumbled through a mouth full of cake.

"And the gun is simple. Just point and click. Point at the fence, click the trigger, trot through the portal."

River gave her lover a disapproving look. "You act like I've never used a transport gun before."

Looking up from the gun, River was surprised to find the chain-link fence right in front of her. She smiled and raised the weapon. Before she squeezed the trigger, she took a deep breath in… and stopped, nose wrinkled. There was a foul smell in the air. River lowered the gun and looked around. There were no animals, but she could've sworn she had smelled manure… More precisely, horse manure. She looked up, afraid she was standing in front of a glue factory or something equally as inhumane, but there was nothing.

With a shrug, she ignored the smell, raised the gun and fired. A hole seemed to form in the fence, and through it, River caught images of blue skies and green meadows.

"Must be a nice place," she breathed to herself. But she knew better than to think that. If the Doctor needed rescuing from that place, then it couldn't be that great. Taking one more steadying breath (still tainted with that odd smell), River stepped into the portal.

Years of travel through the time vortex and other dimensions had prepared River for the rush that greeted her, but it was still strong. Too strong. She knew she couldn't control it; all she could do was try and not panic. River felt her body being painlessly pulled apart and reassembled multiple times. Finally, her molecules seemed to find a configuration they liked, and she was unceremoniously dumped onto the hard ground.

She landed on all fours, which seemed to be natural in this body. Her eyes widened considerably. She knew she hadn't regenerated, that was impossible. Something in this dimension had forced a change. She glanced down at her front legs, and was surprised with what she saw. Hooves.

River suddenly had a terrible idea of where the manure smell had come from.

"Oh no." She looked down on the ground and found her rucksack laying open there. With her front legs she tried to rummage through it, but she couldn't keep her balance that way. Something inside broke with a crack, and a piece of reflective glass bounded out of the bag. It landed face up, in a way that River could see her face.

"What in the name of sanity…" she mumbled, staring at what she hoped was just an illusion.

Whether it was the stress of the trip or the energy it had cost to change form, River was too tired to even comprehend everything. Something inside her brain decided that she couldn't deal with this, and began pushing her into unconsciousness. She stumbled and fell to the ground. Her eyes closed slowly, but not before she saw two shadowy figures running… no, galloping towards her. At this point she didn't even care if they were coming to help or murder her.

I 'm going to kill him again, was the last thing she managed to think before the darkness overtook her.

Comments

[greyyy]

HAHAHA "I'M GOING TO KILL HIM AGAIN" THAT THAR'S A KNEE SLAPPER