Alone

by Derpyx0

Chapter 4

Although Sweetie Belle's head was filled with good memories, her situation outside her head wasn't getting any better. She was still bullied at school, and it didn't help that she was seen as an outcast for being so silent. When Sweetie was feeling down, she did something she was not proud of. She remembered that she was better off than Applebloom. Just like Applebloom, she was very depressed when Scootaloo had died. Just like Applebloom, she blamed herself. But, unlike Applebloom, she didn't blame herself to such an extent that she continued cutting herself, even after the article. Applebloom blamed herself the most because she was the one who was bored, and she was the one who brought help too late. Sweetie and Applebloom had been watching Scootaloo try to fly for about an hour. Since she kept failing over and over again, it was getting pretty boring. "Scoots," Applebloom had asked, "I'm kinda bored and ah kinda want to go play on the swings. Do ya mind if I-"

Scootaloo interrupted her, too focused on flapping her wings to care where her friends were. "Yeah, sure, whatever."

"Thanks Scoots!" Sweetie squeaked. She and Applebloom ran off to the swings. "I call it!" Sweetie yelled as she hopped onto the swings.

"Fine, I'll push," Applebloom complained.

~~~~~~

Scootaloo sighed as she flapped her wings, ready for takeoff. She was sad her friends didn't want to watch her fly, or attempt to. They had been watching for at least an hour, she reasoned. She flapped her wings and sprinted across the field. She jumped, and fell. "Oomph!" she grunted. Scoots stumbled as she got up. Her hoof hurt really bad. Scootaloo shook it off. She had to keep trying. She trotted back across the field, ready to run again. Then it hit her. Whenever she practiced with Rainbow Dash, she got height. Scoots looked around, trying to find a stump or something to jump off of. She looked up, and there it was. A cloud. But how to get up to it? It was too high for her to hover up to, and she had no ladder. It provided the perfect height, as long as she didn't fall off. She might seriously hurt herself if she did. But I'll be careful, she thought.

Eventually, she found a way up to the cloud. She had to jump from the bell tower on top of the school onto the cloud. Luckily, Pinkie Pie had shown her the way up awhile ago when Pinkie volunteered to ring the bell at noon. Scootaloo climbed through the broken window the school didn't have the money to fix. Thank goodness they didn't, or Scootaloo might never fly! She winced and looked at her now bruised hoof. "Ugh," she said in disgust as she looked at her black, blue, and now bloody hoof. She tumbled through the window and fell onto her back. "Ow!" She yelled. She was having such bad luck today! First a screwed up hoof, now a screwed up wing! Scootaloo didn't care though. As long as she got onto that cloud, she would be okay. She ran up the stairs in the back of the room up to the tower.

When she got up there, she shimmied around the bell to the front of the school. She didn't want her friends to see her, for they would surely make her get down. She spotted the bell and sighed. The cloud was about five feet farther away from the edge of the tower than she anticipated. If she hovered, though, she could make it. Scootaloo flapped her wings and winced. Her wing hurt so bad! She forced herself to get ready to jump. She had to do this! She might never fly if she didn't. Scootaloo backed up as far as she could and ran. Right when she got to the edge of the tower, she jumped. What happened next seemed to happen in slow motion. Scoots winced again as her hoof slammed onto the edge of the tower. That threw her momentum off. Scootaloo tumbled through the air as she tried to flap her wings. Suddenly, her left wing went limp. She couldn't flap or feel it anymore. She tried flapping her right wing, but it didn't do anything. Scootaloo looked down to see the ground approaching. Then, black. Gone. Nothing. Scootaloo felt, well she DIDN'T feel. It wasn't as if she were oblivious to the world around her. It was as if, she weren't there. Scootaloo could tell she wasn't dead though. She still felt something. As the seconds ticked on, that feeling became more and more vibrant. She also started hearing voices. She couldn't understand most of what they said. She tried to ask, "Am I dead?" But it came out like, "Ungh, uuungh!"

"Dan't murphy mootsloo! Aepleboom go mph olpe!" A mysterious, yet familiar voice said. As she tried to comprehend what the pony was saying, things seemed to get darker and harder to understand. Before things completely blacked out, Scootaloo heard somepony scream, "Scootaloo, just ho-" before everything disappeared, and everything was gone, forever.

~~~~~~

"Scootaloo!" Applebloom cried. She and Sweetie had heard a scream, then a thud. "Scootaloo!" Applebloom gasped when she saw Scoots on the ground. "Wha- what happened?" She knew Scootaloo couldn't answer her, for she was lying on the ground in a heap. Applebloom winced when she saw Scootaloo's bloody, bruised hoof twisted the wrong way. "I'll go get help," Applebloom said as she ran off. Sweetie inspected Scoot's body, looking for more broken bones. Sweetie screamed when she saw Scootaloo's wings. One was twisted and bloody, while the other hung limply at Scootaloo's side.

"Ungh, uuungh!" Sweetie heard Scootaloo moan.

"D- don't worry Scootaloo, A- Applebloom is getting help," Sweetie stuttered. When Applebloom got there, it was already too late. Scootaloo had died in Sweetie Belle's hooves. One look at Scoot's wings made Applebloom cringe, then she started to look faint.

"Applebloom? Are you okay?" the nurse Applebloom had brought, asked. With that, Applebloom fainted into Nurse Redheart's arms.

~~~~~~

Sweetie had waited outside Applebloom's hospital room for hours, waiting for her to wake up. Suddenly, Sweetie heard a screech. She raced inside Appleblooms room, to find her panting. "Applebloom? Are you alright?" Sweetie asked with concern.

"I- I killed Scootaloo. I'm a murderer," Applebloom said as she stared off into space.

"No, no you're not! It..it was an accident Applebloom. There was nothing we could do, honest!" Sweetie Belle tried to reassure her friend. No matter how much Sweetie reassured Applebloom, she couldn't help either of them. They both felt responsible for Scootaloo's death. When Sweetie left the room, she and Applebloom both had tear-stained fur, and Applebloom was muttering, "Punishment, kill, cuts- kill, Scoots, Scoots!" in her sleep. Neither of them slept well that night, or any night for months afterward.

Three days after the death, there was a funeral. Neither of the despairing fillies would have gone, if not for their sisters making them go. They felt responsible for that coffin. Although nopony else noticed, Rainbow glared at them once or twice. Scootaloo was the only family she had had since her parents' death. Rainbow was mad at herself AND the remaining Cutie Mark Crusaders. If she wasn't such bad luck... first her parents, now Scoots. And if those little, those little, idiots had been faster, they could have saved Scoots! Rainbow thought. She was never one to control and take hold of her emotions, and she needed somepony to blame. Everypony had kept telling her she wasn't bad luck, so it had to have been the fillies' fault! Eventually, Rainbow moved back to Cloudsdale to stay with a friend, she said, 'Because I can't stand being here, not able to do anything.'

The funeral made both fillies even more depressed, and eventually, they came to a means of escape, or 'punishment' as they called it. Sweetie Belle and Applebloom had started cutting themselves. Sweetie thought to herself, "It's just a punishment! Like when I used Rarity's fabrics, and she gave me a timeout!" But Sweetie had realized something Applebloom had not. If this was a punishment, then it would eventually have to end. Sweetie had not sat in her timeout chair for eternity, just an hour. Sweetie was planning to stop her cutting, no matter how hard it was. But no matter how hard she tried to give up, she just couldn't stop...until the article.

Everyday, Rarity received the Ponyville Express. One morning, after reading an article, Rarity had rushed over to Applejack's barn, warning Sweetie not to read the Ponyville Express. Sweetie read it anyway, and what she read scared her. It made her feel sad, and it made her stop the cutting. The article was about a 'young filly from Manehatten who had committed suicide.' Sweetie had a feeling she knew who this filly was. Manehatten, filly who was bullied so much she killed herself, Rarity running over to Applejack's were all clues that led to one pony, Bab Seed. Apparently, when Bab had talked to her family about the bullying, they shrugged it off and said, "Just ignore it!" But eventually, it got so bad that Babs committed suicide by jumping out of her window from her 12 story high bedroom. She left a note to her family, explaining why she had to do this.

Dear Family,
I'm sorry I had to leave y'all, but I just had to! Y'all were tellin' me to ignore Sapphire, Ruby, and Emerald, but I just couldn't! It was so hard at school when they're always in my presence. This way, I could really ignore them. Ignore them forever.

That letter and the comments from Bab's family shocked and scared Sweetie so much, she stopped her cutting. Applebloom hadn't been so lucky, and although they both swore that they would be silent, Sweetie know knew the dangers of depression and cutting, so she told Applejack. Applejack was shocked, and she walked right in on Applebloom cutting herself when she thought everypony was asleep. Applejack threatened therapy for Applebloom, but she knew they didn't have they money. Still, Applebloom stopped her cutting, and instead became secluded from her family. She locked herself in her room and didn't speak to anypony. At least Sweetie had been lucky enough to avoid that, or worse. Nopony had heard Applebloom talk for months, and the fillies and colts at school joked that she had lost her voice forever. Although Sweetie WAS better off than Applebloom, and she knew it, she sometimes envied the filly that DIDN'T get teased at school. Or, at least, not to her face. Although Sweetie had no intention of cutting again, she did not know how to get out her sorrow and anger that was bottled up inside her. These feelings she thought she had lost when seeing her old cape. What Sweetie Belle didn't know, was that these bottled up feelings, plus one more she would encounter soon, were the ones that would send her over the edge. Over the edge, in a fight to release them.

Author's Note:

I just want to say, it pains me to write this chapter. It is filled with so much pain and sorrow, I almost can't take it. I'm sorry if some things are not super realistic, for I have never gone through any of the pain these fillies must be feeling. Oh, and Rainbow Dash fans, don't hate me, please. Like always, please tell me if there are any grammatical errors.
NEWS: I'm planning to post a chapter every Monday.
Derpy Out
-Derpy 2

Comments

[Derpyx0]

Again, thanks to everypony out there supporting this story! Expect a chapter every Monday!

[Derpyx0]

Thanks to everyone who is supporting this story! Luv you guys!
-Derpy 2