Things you don't want to know

by SkuzlBuTt

You

"I have never seen ponies do something like ... I ... I don’t know what to think. It is so ... strange. "

"So!" The book flew back once again.. “I promised not to pry into his personal life, but to pry into the sexual tastes of my friends? No way! Neight.”

Owlicious watched silently as theflustered unicorn ran in circles around the room.
“I never thought that Dash would ... and what about Derpy? Oh, she certainly is... a bit odd. But this is ... and with my friend, too? My ... friend ... “ Twilight froze, remembering the pegasus's recent visit.

* * *

“Done already? I didn’t expect you to return it this week. You take more time usually."
“Well,“ Dash hesitated,“ I guess I learned to read faster? Anyway, I need the next part. What’s next?“
"Daring Do and the Half-Blood Princess." And it's wonderful, Rainbow! Increased reading speed only shows your personal development! You're doing fine.”

Pegasus looked away sheepishly, with an awkward smile.
“So, do you have a sequel?“
“Of course! I have to find it first, though. I haven’t gotten a chance to sort my books in alphabetical order after Pinkie’s prank. That's not a big deal. Besides, I wanted to recatalogue my books for quite some time now, so don’t worry. I’ll look for it.”

...
“Well, it’s simply impossible! Where could it go? I've found the whole series, except that one book. Where is it?” Twilight asked breathlessly. Rainbow watched her from the afar, not interfering with the search. As she later explained she didn’t want to make unnecessary confusion. Watching the unicorn's agitated scurry was rather funny.

"Maybe you could hang around here?" asked Twi nervously, bowing to explore the lower shelves, her rump raised high.

“Uh-uh,” came a voice from behind, “I think you need to look deeper.“

“Hmm ...“ Twilight mumbled, not looking back. “Yeah! Right! Here it is!”

She pulled the book free and gave it to Dashie, as the pegasus stared at her closely.
“Thanks. Would you mind if I read here?”
“Of course. Did I ever refuse you? Go ahead. Don't mind me, let me just clean this mess up.” Unicorn frowned, looking at the chaos around her that she caused.

Dash made herself comfortable as Twilight began sort scattered tomes.
Rainbow peeked at Twilight fussing from time to time. She sorted books so enthusiastically, her muzzle began sweat. Dash giggled.
“What?” Twi gave her a quzzical look.
“Nothing. Go on”

* * *

“By the goddesses, Dash! You aren’t trying to say that all this time you had … attraction to me?” Twi whispered dumfounded.
“So when I wiggled my rump as I searching for your book you were… ow… ow!” uttered the unicorn with a sad voice.
“Who?”
“So why were you snuggling with Derpy, not with m…” the mare shook her head. “Wait. Derpy! Now I know what you were doing in front of Spike...Oh!” Everything was clear to her now.

“I can't believe you did that in front of Spike. How many of your… tricks did he see?! Poor thing, what would happen to his fragile psyche? I... I must find out how he took it. What if he's scared for life?” asked Twilight.
“Who?“ Owl said uncertainly.

The unicorn took a deep breath and opened the journal once again.

"This is a very... odd. Usually, ponies don’t do such things. And then ...
However, this is how it happened. I was heading to the Rainbow’s house to pass her an invitation from Fluttershy. But when I came closer to her house, I heard strange... sounds. Over hill I heard some kind of huffing, mixed with occasional yelps. Intrigued, I went closer to the souce of the sound and saw Dash, rolling on the grass, with Derpy . "

Unicorn made a face.

"They were so engrossed that they didn’t pay attention to me. Rainbow was pressing Derpy until she screamed loudly. For a moment, I did not know what to think."

“Spikeywikie.“

"Plucking up my courage, I approached them quietly. Dash saw me, but didn’t stop riding on the post-mare. "

“Oh come on!”
"When I tried to separate them, Rainbow growled at me, so I immediately dismissed that idea ."

Twilight gnashed her teeth at the thought of such activities in front of Spike. "Oh come on!"

“I asked what was going on, and I found out that it was because of Derpy.”

“Even so? Hmm… ”

"It turned out that Dash was waiting for a "Wonderbolt Training Program" to arrive for her, but Derpy mixed up and put into her box an "Iron Will Training Program" instead.

“If you have a barrier on your route
Then break it with your hoof.”

Rainbow Dash trained till an old oak blocked her way. She couldn't bring herself to doubt the Wonderbolts motto, so she kicked the tree. Fortunately, Dash wasn’t hurt, but spent half of her day trying to pull her leg that got stuck out. And when she came home and saw the mail mare who realized her mistake and came to apologize for it, Dash rushed at her and started a brawl.

“It was so... strange to see fighting ponies. Usually they behave so friendly and peaceful, but there… However, if such a misunderstanding never happened, I wouldn't have this new idea for my drawing. And practice is necessary. It won't work the other way."

“Rainbow, i’m so glad you can’t hear me now! How could I ever think that way about you?”
“Who!”
“I should have dropped all of Rarity's romance novels sooner. "You should expand your horizons, dear, and read something about real life!" Ugh. Only Discord knows where they could lead me to.
“Who!”
“Yes, I agree. Time to drop it. I shouldn’t read Spike’s diary anyway. Though I wonder why he is afraid to involve me in his "art", but the more I read, maybe the more ashamed I am…” The unicorn mechanically turned the page.

“....WHAT THE HAY?!”

Author's Note:

Special thanks to flyinggirl for proofreading the story! All hail flyinggirl!

Comments

[Mad Maudlin]

"dairy" should be diary.

Unless Spike has also rustled a lot of cattle.

[Smurf]

hahahaha!

[Blood Brandy]

4100433

Would be the perfect comment is the next picture involved Big Mac and Daisyjo

[TheBlackKirin]

Weird how she uses Discord instead of Celestia right?