Safety Off

by Daemon McRae

Chapter 2

Chapter 2

“This has to be the stupidest fucking thing I’ve ever seen,” Powder muttered to himself, holding the small coin in his hoof.

“Right?! Who does this?! I mean, how is this even remotely acceptable?” Jobs complained, waving his hooves at the item Powder was holding.

Behind the two of them, a small line of masked ponies were hauling large black bags out of the vault they were sitting in, while the two criminals, their ski masks sitting on top of their heads, stared incredulously at the coin. More specifically, the arcade coin that Jobs had noticed in a spilled pile of quarters, and immediately shoved in Powder’s face.

“This... it’s not even worth anything. Like, this is the cheapest metal you can actually use to make coins. What’s more, this place went out of business years ago,” Powder mused alound, tossing the coin from hoof to hoof while he spoke.

Jobs tilted his head. “Where was that?”

Powder looked up at him. “Oh, it’s that old shitty arcade that closed down because they were running a prostitution ring out of the back. Not even a good one. I mean, yeah, the mares were cute, but the guy had no business sense whatsoever.”

“Wait, isn’t that the place that had that original model of Concrete Warrior II? That impossible to find machine?”

Powder shrugged. “Hell if I know. I was too busy fucking to play.”

Jobs paused. “Ok, fair enough. Man, that game was the shit, though. I kinda wish I could play on the old machines.”

“Why not play it on the computer and emulate it and shit? You can do that, right?”

“Nah, it’s not the same. The original machine had this hardware issue that if you knocked the screen hard enough the sprite layers would get all jacked up, and you could play on really weird-ass level designs that they programmed in but never actually used. Like, a bunch of junk data in the background. It was super trippy. Gave me nightmares,” Jobs mused. He was about to continue when one of the masked ponies tapped his shoulder. He turned, nodded, and lowered his mask. Powder did the same, as they all filed out of the hole in the wall and climbed into the back of the van.

One of the colts was about to close the door when Jobs stopped him. Grabbing the coin, he jumped out of the van, ran into the room, and ran back out. Powder raised an eyebrow. “Left it behind?”

“Yeah, fuck ‘em.”

“...you’re not gonna let that be a gimmick, are you? We don’t need a gimmick.”

Jobs gave his partner an incredulous look. “Who in their right mind would use a fucking arcade token as a gimmick?!”

-------------------------

“Earlier today local bank owners were astonished when they arrived at their bank, only to find a large hole in the wall of their vault, and all of their money missing. Police have few leads, but many suspicions about the robbery.”

“We suspect they used the sound of nearby construction to disguise the sound of the explosion that took out the wall. There is some security footage, but all of the culprits wore masks, and the internal security was disabled. The only clue the culprits left behind was a single game token to a closed video game arcade. Any information anypony has on these events will be immediately addressed. Please bring all concerns to your local police station.”

“That was Officer Longarm from MPD. The game token left behind by the culprits has led authorities to label these thieves the “Arcade Bandits,” and are suspected to be connected to the prostitution ring that led to the closure of the Fun Times Game Arcade several years ago. Authorities have yet to comment on whether or not similar tokens have been left at any other crime scenes.”

-----------------

Powder turned to Jobs, both of them sitting in their apartment as the news blared on the TV in front of them. “I fucking hate you sometimes.”

Author's Note:

This popped into my head.

I intend most of the chapters to be about like this. Just a scene or two where the guys yap a bit about inconsequential stuff.

I'm gonna have fun with this. If you're looking for an overarching plot... you're fucked.

Comments

[Lord Destrustor]

Every chapter like this? That would be ... appropriate. Especially if that means they'll just pop out at random to surprise us every once in a while.

holding the small coin in his hand.

I thought the chapter was somehow humanized at first.

his is the cheapest medal you can actually use

*Metal

climbed into the back of the fan.

And that made me imagine them riding a giant fan around town. Unintentional humor yay!

[Daemon McRae]

3737224 Thanks.

[Sirbob]

This is a good story. It doesn't try to make a plot out of this stuff. It's just fun for the sake of fun, and that's good.

[Lag Incarnate]

I'm now reminded of Marv from the first two Home Alones.