Interview with an Unexpected Mage

by musicluvr1974

Prologue

"Are you sure this is gonna work?" The colt looked nervously at his brother as they prepared to sneak through the swinging doors of the Salt Lick, Appleloosa's town saloon.
"Don't worry! We'll get in, grab a couple mugs of the good stuff, see what it tastes like, and be outta here and back with the tour group before anypony even notices we're gone!" Dotted Line's older son, Cross the Line Twice (known as "Cross" to his friends, or those too pressed for time to use his full name), grinned at his brother Trotthe as they moved closer to the bar entrance. "These fake ID's I made are foolproof! There are some advantages to having a bureaucrat for a dad...!"
"I dunno, dude. These bouncers may not be smart, but their boss? That's a pony of a different color, maybe..." Trotthe shot a look towards the town square as if he expected Sheriff Silver Star to come charging after them at the head of a lynch mob any second now.
"Will you just shut up and get over here?! Nothing can go wrong...!"

---

Inside, as Cross' brother had gloomily predicted, the bouncer pony barely even glanced at their ID cards, being more concerned with their looks. "Are you guys sure you're old enough for this?" rumbled the bouncer, a giant of an earth pony who looked as if he could hold his own with Big Mac Apple or Snowflake from the weather team in a foreleg-wrestling contest.

"That's what it says on our ID cards, doesn't it?!" Cross stared defiantly up at the bouncer.

"Well, yeah, but..."

"But nothing! We'd like to go sit down now, if you're finished harassing innocent patrons."

Grunting, the bouncer moved out of the way, but not before casting a last doubtful glance over his shoulder at the pair.

"See? What'd I tell ya?! Piece of cake!" Cross whispered to Trotthe. "Now let's go get those beers."

---

A short time later, the two colts were seated at a wooden table with two foaming mugs in front of them. "Heh. This is more like it." Cross toasted his brother. "Well, down the hatch!" He raised the stein to his lips, but just before the golden liquid left the mug, there was a sudden flash of blue light around both cups. "Hey, what the hay is goin' on here?!" cried Cross, as he suddenly tasted, not the fermented barley which he expected (and had paid for with bits surreptitiously removed from his dad's wallet that morning as he was leaving home for the school carriage), but plain water.

Trotthe nudged him nervously with an elbow. "I told ya we shouldn't have tried this..."

"Where's that uppity unicorn pansy that messed with my drink?! I'm gonna knock him into the middle of next year!" Cross yelled fiercely. He scanned the tavern for any sign of a magic user... and found one.

At the bar, near the corner of the room, sat a creature the likes of which nopony he knew had ever laid eyes on before... but the newspapers had described in fair detail a month ago. Two forelimbs, one head, taller than anypony except Princess Celestia and Princess Luna... and obviously a biped, from the way it was sitting. Granted, it (he? the creature sported a dark beard with hints of gray...) looked considerably slimmer than the Princess' former counselor, but... he had to be the same species--who else could carry off ugliness like that?

More important, however, was the fact that his strangely scale-free claw was glowing bright sky-blue, the same color as the magic aura that surrounded the colts' glasses of (former) beer! And if a bipedal creature who used magic was in the Salt Lick with them, then that meant only one thing...

The two colts leaped to their hooves and shrieked in terrified unison. "Draconequus!!"

An observer would have thought the word was the opening of an incantation to one of Princess Twilight's telekinesis spells, the bar emptied out so fast... and the panicking ponies ran nowhere else but right out into the streets of Appleloosa. Word (or frightened shout, more likely) spread quickly through the town, causing the crowd in the streets to grow thicker and more riotous with every passing minute, until Sheriff Silver Star and his deputies could no longer contain their fellow ponies' fear-driven energy.

"What should we do, Sheriff?" called Deputy Braeburn over the roar of pony voices.

"If it really is a draconequus in there, there's only one thing we can do!" Silver Star shouted back. "Somepony get down to the post office and call the Princesses! We need the Elements of Harmony!"

---

As the six alicorn friends who bore the Elements of Harmony made their way through the streets of Canterlot, they chatted about their latest visit to the Museum of Natural History.

"I wonder what new inventions Celestia is going to introduce next week? There are some things she hasn't even told me about," Twilight said.

"It should be something awesome and fast, like that "motorcycle" thing Arthur showed us once!" Rainbow Dash exclaimed--predictably, for her, Twilight thought.

"Nah, how 'bout that "tractor" contraption?" Applejack grinned. "Sakes, I bet a pony could plow five fields in the time it takes us now to plow one!"

"Oo! Oo! I know, I know!" Pinkie bounced up and down, waving her right forehoof in the air like a student in kindergarten. "It should be some of those candy-making machines in there! Who doesn't love more candy around?!" Rainbow rolled her eyes at the party pony's perpetual enthusiasm for sugary foods.

"Never, darlings--at least not first," Rarity declaimed. "It ought to be something that can advance the fashion industry. Can't have ponies like Sapphire Shores or Fancy Pants getting--ugh, perish the very thought!--bored with what Carousel Boutique produces, now can I?"

Twilight listened to her friends' good-natured back-and-forth bantering over what human marvel Celestia would unleash next on Equestria's waiting population. She smiled to herself. All's right with Equus, she thought. Nothing can spoil this day...

...Which, given Equestria's penchant for irony, was almost the worst thing she could have thought. A coltish cry split the cool morning air.

"TWILIGHT!"

Startled, the purple alicorn flared her wings, looking around for her "Number-One Assistant" Spike, for it was him she had heard yelling her name. "Spike? Where--oh," she said, spotting him racing down the street toward her, kicking up his telltale cloud of dust. "What's going on?"

"Message--from Celestia," Spike gasped. "Appleloosa!... Need... Elements...draconequus!"

"What?! the six Bearers yelled, simultaneously.

"But--I thought once the contest was over, we wouldn't get another one! What the hay is goin' on here, Spike?!" Rainbow demanded.

"The message didn't say," Spike said, having finally caught his breath. "I've always thought Princess Celestia should quit sending us telegrams...!" he groused.

"Well, we know what's causing trouble, and we know where. That's got to be good enough for now. Come on, girls, gather 'round!" Twilight shouted, charging her horn with a magenta glow of magic. In a flash--literally--her teleportation spell had taken effect and shifted them through--somewhere--to Canterlot Castle's treasure vault, where they donned the Elements of Harmony, then shifted again--to Appleloosa.

Author's Note:

This is set after RealityCheck's story The Audience--one month after it, to be precise--so you should read it first, to gain some background. (Plus, it's a really awesome story--one of the best, if not the best, Human In Equestria stories I've read on this site.)

Some of you might also be wondering what the Elements are doing still in Celestia's vault, when "Princess Twilight Sparkle, Part II" clearly showed them hung back on the Tree of Harmony. To that I answer: what else are they gonna use in a situation like this? Besides, the girls may not remain so Elementless for long... I have my suspicions as to what that six-locked box at the Tree's base contains. (Edit: Invalidated: The Audience's version of that episode turned out a little different. As regards the canonverse, however, the crossed-out portion of my note still stands.)

See you next chapter--when the story really starts to get good.