The Treasure Trove of One-Shots and Story Prompts

by MrPengu1n

CDO - [comedy]

Author's Note:

Now that Twilight is an alicorn, Rarity is left being the only regular unicorn in their group of friends. She now thinks they should bring in another unicorn to take Twilight's place, and enlists Pinkie to find such a unicorn.

Rarity sat slouched over her lunch table outside of the Sugarcube Café, noncommittally slurping a milkshake. She got tired of drinking it and proceeded to blow bubbles in it with her straw, watching as the entire mass of the milkshake rose above the bubble, then collapsed as the bubble popped to the surface.

Pinkie Pie skipped by happily waving to Rarity as she passed. Not receiving any wave back, Pinkie skidded to a halt, noticing the melancholy demeanor of her friend. She hopped over and sat in the seat opposite her, greeting happily, "Hiya, Rarity! What's down?"

Rarity looked up questioningly, "'What's down'?" she repeated.

Pinkie Pie nodded, "Uh-huh! It's like what's up, except down because you're sad!" she explained, giggling.

Rarity rolled her eyes, "Oh, it's nothing," she said dismissively, "I'm just thinking about, you know, how Twilight became an alicorn pricess."

Pinkie Pie raised her brow with exaggerated suspicion, "You're just now thinking about it? 'cause, I mean, it's been a while since that happened."

"Well, yes," Rarity conceded, "But so much stuff was happening! I hadn't any time to think about it until now!"

Pinkie Pie nodded, "well, what are you thinking about it?" she asked with a smile.

Rarity leaned backed in her chair, stirring her shake with her straw, "Mm, nothing much, I just...ah, I wish Twilight had never become an Alicorn.."

Pinkie Pie gasped with exaggerated shock, "How can you say that?" she wondered loudly.

"It's not like I'm jealous or anything!" Rarity said, "No, nothing so, so plebian," she remarked, fluffing her mane stylishly. "It just, when she became an Alicorn, it ruined the uniformity of our group!"

"Uniformity?" Pinkie Pie repeated with a giggle.

"Yes!" Rarity shouted, waving her hooves about, "It was so perfect! There was Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash, two pegasi, you and Applejack, two earth ponies, and me and Twilight, two unicorns! But now," she slouched back in her chair, "We have just one unicorn, and an Alicorn. The uniformity is ruined!" she let out several false sobs to show how emphatic she was about their uniformity.

Pinkie Pie stroked her chin thoughtfully, "Looks like you have a case of CDO!" she diagnosed.

"CDO?" Rarity repeated.

"Uh-huh! It's like OCD, except the letters are in alphabetical order," Pinkie Pie suddenly slammed her hooves on the table and stared daggers at Rarity, "as they should be."

Rarity mulled this thought over, "Well I don't care what I have," she said snootily, "I just want our precious uniformity back!"

"What's the plan, man?" Pinkie rhymed, "Are you going to set up a booth and interview every unicorn in town to find a new pony to bring into our group, thus restoring the uniformity and bringing peace to the universe?"

Rarity looked at Pinkie, "Pinkie Pie, that's brilliant!" she cheered.

Lyra-

"Pinkie Pie, what are you doing?"

I'm keeping a transcript of our interviews! It's an official record, because I am an official pony.

"Right...so, anyway. State your name and occupation for the record, please."

"You know who I am, Rarity. We pass each other every single day."

"..."

"I live right next to you?"

"..."

"I bought a dress from you yesterday?"

"..."

"<sigh> I'm Lyra Heartstrings, and I am an anthropologist. Though the majority of my income does not come from anthropology."

"What is 'anthropology'?"

"The study of humans. I study humans."

"...you mean that old myth?"

"Oh, it's no myth! Humans are very real. In fact, I've seen one up close. They kidnapped me, brought me into this shiny metallic white room, and they...experimented on me."

"oh...I'm so sorry?"

"No, no, it's fine. It was exhilarating. I wish the humans would come back for me, they can probe me all they want."

"Next, please."

---

(i can't remember a time when i thought this was a good idea)