Broken Feathers: Desert Storm

by That Avi Nerd

Sand...

A heavy haze hung in the air of the saloon. The only source of ventilation was from the cracked windows, and from the batwing door. The two story, rickety looking, wooden construct served as a saloon that could serve and entertain thirty to forty ponies on the first floor, and bed about ten on the second floor, not counting the two or three 'extra service' rooms. Cards were dealt across plank tables, usually to a hoof-full of ponies, who would then proceed to systematically lose their money before beginning a brawl that almost always ended up in several pieces of furniture being broken over the heads of the other players in the game. Quick paced music was played on the piano in an attempt to bring dance to the mind and joy to the hearts of ponies in the saloon. Though the music starkly contrasted since nearly everypony there was there just to drink themselves away, or were already in a happy stupor caused by booze.

The barpony was a white earth pony stallion with a gray mane, keeping orders and tabs in a pocket on his black vest, and wiping off empty sections of counters with a white rag that was otherwise kept around his neck. His honey colored eyes observed everything that occurred, and his swiveling ears heard all the rumors and whispers. If there was anypony to go to for news, it was Fill Up.

Not many ponies were at the bar itself; most were at the gambling tables since it was the early afternoon, thus not yet time to begin drinking the night away. The noon bell from the nearby clock tower was sounding, signaling the ponies to either leave church, or go out in search of a lunch.

Of the few ponies who were at the bar, one of them was a midnight blue pegasus with black accents on his hooves and muzzle. His primary feathers were also black. He possessed a black mane that turned to blue in the back, hanging down from his neck. His tail was primarily blue, with a black stripe that mimicked the shape of his overall tail running through the middle. On his flank sat the black pixilated form of a striking eagle. Fill Up had taken note of his particular coloring when he entered the saloon through the batwing doors, but otherwise paid him no extra attention. Like most who had come up to his bar, he had ordered a hard cider, and was pouring it himself from the bottle into shot glasses. Other than asking for a newspaper, he kept to himself, not paying mind to small number of ponies, and fights, around him. Fill Up gave him the paper, explaining that since Applelossa was small, they didn't have their own news paper. So instead they got there's on the weekly train from Ponyville. They did have a small news letter; a usually one or two paged billet attached to the side of the saloon with local gossip printed on it.

Phantom Knight, as he had introduced himself to Fill Up for the bar tab, sat in silence, looking through the newspaper, taking the occasional shot of hard cider. He paid careful attention to the front page in particular.

Such a waste of paper... he thought to himself, reading the final paragraph that detailed his 'disappearance.' This is what he came up with? The stallion he was referring to was none other than the Captain of the Equestrian Royal Guard, Shining Armor. As apart of Phantom's assignment as a Staff Sergeant in the same Royal Guard, he had been sent to the desert town of Appleloosa to investigate a strange phenomenon that had been occurring. Thought he wasn't necessarily for him needing to be undercover. He didn't have any plans on lying to anypony about his name or most of his background; it was harder to keep track of lies than it was the truth. So the explicative in the paper about an airship crashing, that never actually crashed, in order to conceal his presence in a region on the complete other side of Equestria didn't make much sense to him. But, Shining Armor got his way.

The desert of all places, too. Sand... he sighed. I hate sand...

The saloon's batwing doors swung open, admitting another pony to the hazy establishment. For a brief moment, the music, the games, the drinking; everything, stopped as everypony (save for Phantom) looked to see who had entered. Barely a heartbeat had passed when everything had returned to normal. Fill Up moved up to a section of the bar in front of the stool next to Phantom, anticipating where the new pony would sit.

Phantom could hear somepony approaching, the sounds of their steps creating deep thuds on the old wooden floor. Soon enough, the pony sat on the stool next to him. She was a unicorn with a soft blue coat, a mane and tail of half cobalt blue and half white, deep blue eyes, and an hour glass cutie mark.

"What can I get you today, Minuette?" Fill Up asked, pulling out a notepad and pen to begin taking down her tab.

"The usual, Fill," she replied with a sweet voice. "Ginger ale."

She'd be a good dentist with that kind of voice, Phantom remarked, noting that she would probably be able to sooth any nerves with it. That and the comforting look of her eyes, any patient that would have come under her care would have felt right at home.

With Fill up pulling out a bottle of the requested drink and pouring it into a glass for her, Minuette glanced over at Phantom, whose attention was being occupied by page five of the paper.

"Excuse me," she began, "could I see the front page of that?" Phantom nodded once, pulling the front page from the collection of papers and sliding it across the bar to her. "Thanks."

The two ponies read in silence, taking the occasional sip of drink. The article that Phantom was reading talked about ponies mysteriously disappearing in the midsts of ominous storms that silently rolled into low population desert towns. Some houses and ranches had been discovered to be empty, presumably by the same force behind the ponies disappearing in the towns. Dodge Junction had been the hardest hit yet, with fifteen ponies disappearing in only two storms.

Eyewitnesses had described these storms as large black thunderhead looking clouds that skimmed across the ground like fog and blocked out the sun. They seemed to move under their own power and mind; an entity in of itself. Blue streaks of electricity were purported to criss cross its black surface. Long tendrils of solid clouds would run along the ground in front of it, grabbing hold of anypony who was standing out in the open. They would scream for help, but nopony would dare risk themselves to the storm. The only safe haven were buildings, hiding in places where they couldn't see the storm, and thus the storm couldn't see them. When the screaming ponies were sucked into the main cloud, they would go quiet, their voices silenced by the thick walls.

"It's terrible," Minuette said, "at least all these ponies were okay." She was referencing the front page news. The airship that never crashed, the ponies that were never in danger, and the reference of him. "I hope they find the one who's missing."

"A waste of paper," Phantom said bitterly, continuing to read on.

Minuette set the paper on the bar and looked over at him. "Sorry?"

Phantom mimicked her movements in setting the paper down. "It's a waste of paper. That story shouldn't be on the front page. This story," he tapped on the page he was reading, "should be."

"Yeah... it doesn't seem like anypony's really paying attention to what's going on. I think it's just because Appleloosa hasn't been hit yet."

"Yet?"

"It's bound to happen. It's already happened everywhere else, so it's just a matter of time before the storm finds its way here."

"Will you be ready for it?"

She nodded. "My boss has been building a shelter in the basement of the clock tower where I work. He hopes to make it large enough that anypony who's nearby outside will be able to take cover there."

"Hopefully it'll be done before the storm finds its way here."

"He's trying hard to. Basically left the clock tower under my care while he works almost nonstop on it."

"So you work there?"

"Sort-of... it's more of a paid apprenticeship, really. I've always had this fascination with the concept of time and measuring it. I got my cutie mark after I built my first clock. Growing up in the desert, there's not much to do. So when I heard that there was a spot open here at the clock tower, I took it, and became Chronos' apprentice. I basically maintain it, making sure it doesn't stop, that it's always on time, and that the bells ring at the appropriate times etceteras. What about you? What do you do?"

"Well, I'm a Guard."

Minuette perked up in her seat. "A guard? A Royal Guard?"

"Indeed. A Royal Guard."

"Yes!" She threw her arms into the air and spun around on the stool. After several rotations, Phantom extended a leg to the side to catch the seat in order to stop her when she faced him. He gave her a quizzical look. "Oh, sorry. Like I said, it's like no one has been paying attention to what's going on here. But now there's a Royal Guard here! You're here! Wait... if you're a guard, where's your armor at?"

"Ever worn forty pounds of uninsulated steel in the desert before?"

"No..."

"It's not very fun. We have a uniform exception in extreme environments and circumstances. Since this classifies as both, I can basically chose what I wear. But don't worry, I'll still have identification marks."

"I guess that makes sense..." She gave him a suspicious look. "What's your name?"

"My apologies, ma'am." He extended a hoof towards her. "Staff Sergeant Phantom Knight."

Minuette tilted her head to the side, only half-mindedly shaking his hoof. Remembering where she had heard that name before, her full attention turned back to the paper she had just read. She picked it up and read the last paragraph again, about the pony who had been missing. The name, and rank, matched.

"You're—" The unicorn stuttered, looking between the paper and the stallion next to her. "The paper— Missing— Wha— How?!"

"Simple. That article is false." Minuette raised an eyebrow. "It was a cover-up. My C.O. thought it best for me to be here undercover, for what ever reason, and set in motion for the creation of a fake news article to convince ponies that I was either dead or missing. Personally I told him it was a waste of paper. But for whatever reason he thought it was a good idea and went along with it."

"So if you're supposed to be undercover, why are you telling me all of this?"

"Because I don't think its necessary. I highly doubt that this storm has a conscious mind and will target me just because I'm a Guard."

"I guess that makes sense. So you're really here to help, right? You're going to try to find a way to stop the storm?"

Phantom took a shot of hard cider. "That's what the eighteen hour train ride was for. I'm here to find out what's causing it. Now whether or not I'll be able to stop it, well... I don't know. I'm actually here with a friend, and when I find out what's causing these storms, and what's happening to the ponies it's taking, she is to go straight to Canterlot and report the findings to Princess Celestia herself."

"She can stop the storms?"

"I can only hope so. More likely she will bring the Elements of Harmony and their bearers here to help."

"I see." Minuette took a sip of her own drink. "Well I wish the best of luck to ya."

"Heh, thanks. I'll need all the help that I can get. Speaking of which... What do you know about these storms?"

She sighed. "Not much really, sorry. Like I said, Appleloosa hasn't been hit yet, so I thankfully haven't experienced the storm yet. All I know is that it's eerily silent, and you can't see the two hooves in front of you. Sorry, but I don't know anything other than that. And those are just third-hoof accounts from ponies who made it through the storms. Again, sorry I couldn't help."

"It's alright; you still may be able to help: Do you know of anypony who was in a storm themselves?"

"No, I don—wait... Actually there is. She's a musician, a friend of mine. She said she had a performance a few days ago in Dodge Junction. It was hit by a storm the night she was supposed to arrive! Maybe she knows more?"

"Hopefully. Do you know where I can find her?"

"Yeah, she should be coming back on the one o'clock train. I was actually on my way there to meet her but decided to stop in here for a drink. I can show you there, if you'd like?"

"That'd be nice, just let me pay my tab." Phantom took one final shot of hard cider before reaching into the saddlebags that sat at the base of his stool. When he pulled out the bag of bits and asked the barkeep for the check, Fill Up shook his head.

"Guards drink for free," the barkeep said.

"You sure?" Phantom asked, hesitant at the stallion's hospitality.

"Hey, your guys' job is hard enough. Don't worry, it's on the house."

"Thanks."

"No worries."

Phantom climbed off of his seat, bending down to pick up his heavy saddlebags and slide them onto his back. There was a relatively considerable weight to them since they carried more gear than he would normally bring on a mission. But since he was the only pony who went on this mission, the supplies couldn't be spread out amongst him and his team. Once the bags were on his back, Phantom swayed to the sides slightly from the momentum.

"Those look pretty heavy..." Minuette observed. "Want me to carry some things?"

"It's fine. But it would be appreciated if we hurried so I didn't have to carry these for very long."

The mare pulled out a small black bag and set a few bits down on the counter for her drink. Putting it away, she too stepped off of her seat and walked up to Phantom.

"Come on," she said, using her sparkling blue magic to lift the bags up off of his back and carry them in the air. "You can set them in the clock tower while we're out."

"Well I don't want to be a hassle..."

"Don't think anything of it. We've got fifty minutes until the train arrives so we've got time to drop 'em off."

"If you say so."

Minuette led the way, with Phantom following close behind her as they stepped through the batwing doors of the saloon. They emerged out into a barely populated street. Most ponies had already arrived at their destinations in the small town after leaving Sunday church or their works to go to lunch or home. The two ponies had just stepped out of a two story, blue painted building, one of the only multi-story buildings in the town. The only things that were bigger were the cliffs that were to Phantom's left, and the tall, red clock tower that was also to his left, but only a few buildings away. The tower seemed to be built into the corner of a two story building, with a porch leading up to a door in the center, and a pair of windows on either side. Overall it was a fairly small town, only a few hundred ponies. And that was with the recent influx of ponies due to a gold strike in the nearby hills.

The landscape of the area was rather dull. Dry, compacted tan dirt and sand made up the surface of the ground. Small, stiff bushes were scattered about in the areas where ponies didn't necessarily travel all that much, waiting for a gust of wind to swoop in and turn them into tumbleweed. The occasional prickly cactus rose up several feet in the air outside of town. The only significant amount of a greenery was that of the apple orchards over on the other side of the train tracks. The station for those train tracks was only a few buildings to Phantom's right, sitting at the tip of the road.

"You know... I can literally see the station right now..." Phantom said. "You don't really have to walk me there."

Minuette continued to head towards the clock tower, which was in the opposite direction. Phantom lumbered up from behind her.

"Yes, I know," she said, "but I refuse to let you slug that gear around with you all day. Besides, you don't even know what she looks like."

"I guess you're right."

"Of course I am."

The two ponies stepped up onto the porch of the red building, shielded from the hot desert sun by the wooden awning over their heads. Minuette turned the knob on the unlocked door and pushed it open, allowing for Phantom to enter the building before her. It was a medium sized wooden room with a few desks, chairs, and paintings. On the back wall was a picture of what appeared to be the clock tower when it was being constructed, only half way completed. Phantom had been expecting to hear the ticking coming from the large clock several stories above them. But the only ticking he heard was that of a small cuckoo clock on the wall next to him.

"That's a quiet clock," Phantom remarked when Minuette entered the room. As he stood in the center to examine his surroundings, she walked past him towards the desk in the back in the room, which was apparently hers. There, she set his saddlebags down on top of the wooden piece of furniture.

"Heh, yeah. When I rebuilt it awhile ago I decided to make it a little quieter since this is where I actually live."

"Rebuilt?"

"About a year and a half ago there was this fight between the settlers her in Appleloosa and the local Buffalo tribe. Basically we had planted trees on their traditional stampeding grounds. Things came to a tipping point and the Buffalo charged the town. During the fight, one of the Buffalo crashed into the side of the building and sent a crack running up the tower wall. I got out just before it the entire thing came crashing down into the street. We managed to salvage some of the pieces to reconstruct the tower, but the clock mechanisms were completely destroyed. So I rebuilt it and made it quieter. That way I could actually sleep here for once."

"You built the entire thing yourself?"

"Well... Cronos, my boss, ordered the pieces. But yeah, I put them together. Oh! Do you want to see it?"

With that kind of a gleam in her eye, how could he refuse? It was a gleam of pride. The same gleam a foal would have after they won first prize at a talent show. One that would be in the eye of a pony who had just passed a major test in their life. It was the same gleam that Phantom had after he had earned his shield upon completing Royal Guard hoofcamp.

"Sure. Why not?"

Minuette smiled and stepped behind her desk. Using her magic, she pulled a set of keys out from a drawer. The mare stepped up to the door that led into the clock tower and used them to unlock the knob. The door swung open, and Phantom could hear the very soft ticking coming from the mechanisms above. A stair case rose up, braced up agains the wall and spiraling in a clockwise direction. It went up three stories before reaching a wooden ceiling with a trap door in it. A central gear system sat in the center at the base of the tower, with four separate sets of gears branching out and running up along the walls, presumably to the individual clocks high above.

"That's..." Phantom was at a loss.

"Complex?" The two ponies stepped into the room, allowing Phantom a better look.

"Yeah... this is... really complex. This must have been really difficult."

"Nah, not really."

Minuette started walking up the stairs. Since there wasn't enough room for both of the on the wooden planks, Phantom hovered next to her as the blue mare ascended. In less than a minute, the two ponies had reached the trap door. Minuette used the keys that she had brought with her to unlock it, and entered first with Phantom close behind. He landed on the wooden floor next to her and looked around.

The room was lit by ambient light that shone through the frosted glass of the clock windows. Several sets of shadows were created by the clock's black hands criss crossed the room, creating interesting and intricate shapes. Though the thing that caught the pegasus' eye the most was the bell that hung in the center of the steeple above their heads. He could easily fit inside of it, and it was coated in a bright gold paint that almost added extra illumination to the room. All along its sides were a series of hieroglyphics that depicted what appeared to be the founding of Appleloosa, starting from the first settler ponies to arrive in the area and plant the first flag, all the way up to the story Minuette told about the Buffalo tribe, finally ending with the bell being hoisted into the tower.

"Made from the copper and tin mined out the same mountains and hills around this town," Minuette said, her eyes just as transfixed on it as Phantom's were. "Finally just got her a few weeks ago. It was a bit of a hassle installing the thing, to be quiet honest... we almost dropped it thrice."

"It's beautiful." The two stood and admired the bell for awhile long.

"We should go."

"Yup."

The two ponies made their way back down stairs. Minuette locked the doors behind her, making sure that no pony would be able to get in and harm themselves, or the delicate equipment stored there. Back in the main room, Phantom stopped at his saddlebags and set them on the floor. He dug through them for a moment and eventually pulled out a tan vest, lined with several cargo pockets along the front and side. On the front left corner of the tan vest was the Equestrian insignia, the same as the one on the sash of his formal uniform. Phantom explained that if he were going to be operating on an official basis, he might as well have some kind of Royal marking on him to prove that he was, in fact, a Royal Guard. Along with it, he wore a tan boonie hat to help shield him from the sun.

On their way out, Minuette picked up a white hooded cloak from the coat rack and put it on, pulling up the hood for extra shade. Since the train station was only a few buildings away, it didn't take too long for the two ponies to arrive there. Everything they had accomplished, they had accomplished before twelve thirty in the afternoon. The train was set to arrive in a half hour, which left Phantom and Minuette with little to do but stand in the warm shade and wait.

During that time, Minuette had gone and sat herself down on a bench, propping her head up against a hoof. Phantom had merely stood in his original spot on the platform, mimicking the same movements as a statue. The happy-looking pink train had arrived. Its five cars were lined up beside the wooden platform and their doors opened. Not many ponies were aboard, though who could blame them? It was a desert. Not many ponies took vacations here. Usually the only ones who were using these trains were traveling between desert towns and wanted to use the comfort, convenience, and speed of a train, so they weren't stuck in a carriage for days.

Minuette rose from her spot and stood next to Phantom. "Here she comes," she said, nodding towards the third car in the line. From within it emerged a mint green unicorn with a pale green and white mane. Her eyes were a burned golden color, and a lyre sat on her flank. "Hey, Lyra!" Minuette waved at the mare.

The mare known as Lyra was primarily directing her gaze at the ground, satisfying a curiosity of how many cracks there was in the flooring. She only looked up for a brief moment to see where the voice calling her name was coming from. When she saw Minuette waving at her, she forced a smile before looking back down at the wooden planks and began walking towards the two ponies.

"Lyra, is there something wrong?" Minuette asked when the other mare got close, observing her dejected manner.

"Min... It—It..." Lyra was stumbling over her or words. She took a moment to gather a strength and to suck up a tear. "The storm... it took Bon Bon." She collapsed into the arms of the blue mare in front of her, burring her face in the other's neck and crying. Phantom shifted in his place, growing uncomfortable by the developing situation and the gazes coming from the ponies around. To move them along, he made sure that they saw the Equestrian insignia on the front of his vest.

"Oh no..." Minuette embraced Lyra tightly. "I'm so, so very sorry. I had no idea... Come on, let's get you back to the tower for some tea." She wrapped a hoof around her friend's back, and the pair began heading off towards the clock tower trailed closely behind by Phantom.

"Who's this?" Lyra asked as they continued to go on, referring to the midnight blue pony following behind them.

"Phantom Knight, ma'am," the stallion introduced himself with a tip of his hat.

"He's a Royal Guard," Minuette explained. "He's here to find out what's causing the storms."

"You're going to help us?" Lyra was practically pleading with him instead of asking. "You're going to find Bon Bon?"

"I'll try," Phantom replied. The trio of ponies arrived at the clock tower, and Phantom held the door open so that the two mares could enter first before softly closing it behind him. Minuette guided Lyra to a soft looking chair in front of her desk and said she'd be right back, then proceeded to go to what he guessed was a small employee's kitchen in the back of the building. After a few moments, Phantom could smell warm tea.

Minuette quickly emerged from the kitchen, carrying in her magic a silver platter and three steaming cups. She set it down on the desk and placed a cup in front of Phantom, who had taken a seat in another chair next to Lyra, in front of Lyra, and in front of her own seat on the other side of the desk.

"I can't believe it took Bon Bon..." Lyra mumbled, looking down at the cup of tea that she was holding i her magic. Minuette had already taken a drink and Phantom was waiting for his to cool off before he picked it up. "You'll be able to get her back," she said, looking up at Phantom who had now taken off his tan boonie hat and set it on the desk, "right?"

He sighed. "Again, I'll try. But I don't know anything about this storm. That's what I'm hear for; to figure this thing out. And frankly, I'll need all the help I can get."

"Lyra, I know that it'll be hard, but you need to tell us what happened." Minuette moved her chair so that she was next to to the mint green mare. She wrapped a supported arm around her friend for comfort. "Can you do that?"

"I don't want to..." Lyra sniffed. "I don't want to remember."

"It could possibly help us find your friend," Phantom took a sip of tea and leaned in. "Maybe even find all of the other ponies this thing as taken, and prevent it from happening again. Lyra, the Royal Guard, I, can't do anything without information about what's going on. Right now I'm the expert on these storms, and I know nothing about them. Can you help us?"

She took several deep breaths.

"I'm right here for you Lyra," Minuette encouraged. "I'll be right here. You can stop at any time."

A few more breaths.

"Take it at your own pace, Lyra," Phantom said. He reached into one of the front pockets on his vest and pulled out a small pocket notebook and pen. Flipping through many filled pages, he stopped when he got to the first blank one and grasped the pin in the primaries of his right wing, clicking down the top of it. "Can you start from the beginning?"

One final big breath.

"Bon Bon and I had taken the train to Dodge Junction from Ponyville, where we live," Lyra explained. "They were having some kind of a function there and I was set to be one of the performances. Bon Bon went down with me as support, and also so that she could sell her confectionaries..."

Author's Note:

To those newcomers to my writing: Welcome! I hope that you all stay and enjoy what I bring to these pages.
To those returning from my other stories: Welcome back! I hope that this one continues to bring you the same of what you enjoyed in the others.

But yes, this is the first chapter of my new story Broken Feathers: Desert Storm. I was hoping for a slightly longer chapter than this to start things out with, but hey, what happens happens. Hopefully I'll get above at least 4,000 words per chapter, but like with my other stories I won't update until I hit at least 3,000 words. While we're on the topic of story length, good news everyone! My ship date for the Marine Corps has been pushed back until August; that gives me three extra months to hopefully write in this story.

Unlike my other stories, I've actually semi-planned this one out and have a fair idea of where I'm going with it. However, I don't know how long it'll take to get there, nor how long that journey will be in general. I do hope it is a fun one though; I've got some ideas I'd really love to see play out in this story.

Criticism is highly appreciated, especially since we're so early into the story. You guys can find my errors, make predictions, and overal tell me what you think of the story so that I can adjust accordingly! Thanks for reading!
- Sam.

p.s., I'm on the side that her name is Minuette, not Colgate, if you couldn't figure that out. She has an hour glass cutie mark, not a tooth brush. Be happy I at least gave her that thought that she would be a good dentist to appease those of you on that side of the fight.
p.p.s., I'm terrible at describing things, particularly how they look, so for those of you who are reading this story and haven't read my others and don't really know what Phantom looks like, here's the gist of it:
Phantom Knight (in formal uniform):

Maybe I'll do one of him wearing the tan vest and boonie hat that I had been mentioning in this chapter... Now there's an idea... Anyway, moving on.

Coming up next in Broken Feathers: Desert Storm: The Clouds Are Alive...

Comments

[dashybrony2012]

Awesome! This Is just as great as your other stories and I'm also with the side that says Minuette so yay for that I really like where this is going and I can't wait for more great job Sam you are a very talented person indeed

[PrinceSS Charming]

I can already tell this story will be AMAZING! Mistakes? I didn't catch anything, nevermind the fact that I'm a terrible editor. Anyways, you are awesome! Gun on!

[Dashieluvzcandy]

I don't know if this was a reference but Minuette said her boss's name was Chronos. Isn't that the name of a Greek god/titan of time and her boss works with time. Poor Lyra! This is off to an excellent start so far!

[Shadow of a Former Brony]

Shall we see the doctor in this one? When I heard chronos I immediately thought of Dr. Whooves, it'd be neat to see him, maybe his mat smith pony version,

Secondly, so we are going to get absolutely no Rainbow Dash? Really? Why are you so mean to me? I lovethat ship... Well at least he seems to possibly still harbor feelings, but he's in a mission, so feelings take a bak seat.

You actually described everything very well, the fill up guy and his bar were expertly designed to give a rough an tumble desert town that is very bland exept for the supernatural things happening that is spicing it up, overall you did a good job dude. Good job

[That Avi Nerd]

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Thank you all for the absolutely amazing comments. It's stuff like that that's one of the main reasons I write, so thank you all
4346101 Yes, Chronos is the Greek personification of time; a the god of time. I hadn't originally named him after the god specifically, I just named him that because like you said, Chronos is time.
4347422 And it's comments like these that I appreciate the most; the ones that provide a good critique of the story itself and also get me to thinking.

Shall we see the doctor in this one? When I heard chronos I immediately thought of Dr. Whooves, it'd be neat to see him, maybe his mat smith pony version,

It's funny you mention Dr. Whooves; I've just recently begun watching the Doctor Who series. So whether or not Dr. Whooves will make an appearance... I don't know. You mentioned it and I immediately thought that he could be Chronos, but that'd negate the already exiting meta-cannon that surrounds Doctor Whooves. That and Dr. Whooves and Minuette have the same cutie mark. if I figure out a good way, I'll probably give him a cameo appearance.

Secondly, so we are going to get absolutely no Rainbow Dash? Really? Why are you so mean to me? I lovethat ship... Well at least he seems to possibly still harbor feelings, but he's in a mission, so feelings take a bak seat.

I knew this would come up eventually. I'm trying to write this so that anyone can come aboard and read it without having to read my other stories. But it's tricky since it still occurs within the Broken Feathers universe. I'll probably give subtle hints to things that have happened in previous stories, like the news paper article, mention of team mates, flashbacks, stuff like that. I had envisioned a scene where Phantom is sitting and writing a letter when somepony comes up and talks to him. Now, whether or not he's writing that letter to Rainbow Dash is your call. As for whether or not Rainbow Dash will appear... I'm not sure, honestly... Making an early prediction, I would say that it would be an end-game type thing if she did. Especially since she would have to be appearing with the Elements of Harmony.

You actually described everything very well, the fill up guy and his bar were expertly designed to give a rough an tumble desert town that is very bland exept for the supernatural things happening that is spicing it up, overall you did a good job dude. Good job

That's what I was going for, so thanks! I actually had some things happen by accident. I'm using this image to help describe Applelossa, and I just randomly picked that blue two story building for the saloon. When I went and watched Season 1 Episode 21, where they go to Appleloosa, it turns out that that actually is a saloon and the bar pony there is actually gray. So that worked out.

---

Again, thank you all for the wonderful comments

[That Avi Nerd]

4365985 A) Didn't know that, my mistake. I'll go back and make that revision.
B) The things in Savage Skies are Thunderheads, and are large thunderhead clouds that discharge a lightning bolt and destroys everything under it, not ponynapping ponies. From what I understand, at least.
C) I've seen it both ways. I think they're both correct.

Thanks for the comment!