Amazonian Ponies

by Nether

Pinkie Pie

“Twilight, you’ve got to stop her,” Anonymous said, bracing himself against the door to her library.

“Oh Anon, she’s harmless!” came the dismissive response from the purple unicorn. “The spell will wear off eventually.”

“But she won’t sto—“ thud. Thud. Thud. She’d made it to the door.

“Nooooony, are you in there?”

Anonymous looked at Twilight, pleading for asylum from the pink maned menace. She just rolled her eyes before answering the Amazonian sized pony.

“No, Pinkie, he’s not here. I think he went out to look for Rainbow Dash.”

“Okie doki loki!” Pinkie said, followed by a resounding thud as she bounded away, ground shaking in her wake. After the thuds had faded to nothing, Anonymous sighed, sliding down the door.

“Thanks Twilight.”

“Don’t mention it. I didn’t need her breaking down my door anyway.”

“You’re sure there’s no counter spell you could use? Something? Anything?”

“There are, sure, but it’s harmless! She’ll be back to normal in a day or so.”

“Harmless?! She broke into my house!”

“She’ll fix it, she always—“

“BROKE. INTO. MY HOUSE. I HAVE NO FRONT DOOR ANYMORE,” Anon hissed, looking at her like she was crazy.

“And it’ll be fixed, just like it always is. Why don’t you just give her what she wants?”

“Because I’ll never escape if I do!”

Had the door been heard by Twilight, she didn’t seem to care to point out who was on the other side. At least, not to Anonymous. If she did, she hid it well.

“She just wants a hug, Anon.”

“Nonnie!” Far too fast for Anonymous to react, Pinkie had smashed through the front of the library, knocking the door off of its hinges. “C’mere little cuddlebug!” she said, pawing around for the human. Instead of grabbing the human though, she managed to catch Twilight off guard. Not seeing who or what she’d caught, Twilight was promptly dragged outside. Peeking his head around the corner, Anon watched a nightmarish scene unfold.

“You lied to me,” Pinkie said, holding Twilight up with one hoof. Twilight grinned sheepishly, shrugging to the Pink mare that was easily twice her size. Pinkie returned the gesture, shrugging. In one swift motion, she opened her mouth, tossed Twilight in, closed her mouth again, and swallowed.

Anonymous stood there, dumbfounded. Pinkie had just eaten Twilight. Swallowed. Right down her gullet. Without a second thought. ‘Harmless?’ Anon thought again, bewildered at the nonchalantness Twilight had expressed. ‘Harmless?!’ Still rooted to his spot, he watched as the lump that had been Twilight rapidly disappeared down into the depths of Pinkie.

‘You’ve got to be kidding me,’ he thought to himself. ‘The one pony that could fix this, and she eats her.’ As Pinkie rubbed her belly in satisfaction, Anon realized that it was time to make his move. Running as fast as his legs could carry him, he bolted past the distracted Pinkie. He had to warn the others.

“Noooony,” Pinkie said, getting back to her hooves. “Noooooooony,” she repeated, now bouncing slowly after him.

His legs aching with fire, Anonymous finally made it to Rarity’s boutique. ‘She’s a unicorn, right? Maybe she can do the spell?’

“Anonymous? Can I help you?” Rarity said, her and her younger sister eyeing the human with an understandable bewilderment.

“No time to explain,” he panted, bracing himself against the door. “Twilight’s been eaten, we have to get the reversal spell! It’s the only way!”

“Reversal spell? Whatever are you talking about?”

“No time! We have to do now!” he said, panicking as the thump thump of the approaching pink menace became audible once more.

“Very well. Sweetie, would you be a darling and clean up that cinnamon dust from your… experiment?” Sweetie nodded, bouncing off to a room the human cared little about. Now was not the time for distractions. “Alright, Anonymous,” Rarity said, returning her attention to the exasperated human. “You said we need to get to the library?”

“Yes! As fast as we can!”

“I’ll be just a moment then,” she said, running off to another room.

There was no time for this! Pinkie would be here any—

All thought processes were immediately ceased once the room had flooded with sunlight. Dust and debris falling around him, Anonymous shielded his head, ducking against the door for the little safety it might provide.

“There you are, Nonny!” Pinkie said, tossing the wall over her shoulder. “I’ve been looking all over for you!”

“Pinkie, is that you?” Rarity said, returning from her little side mission with a rather eloquent hat.

“No, Rarity, no!” Anonymous called out, but it was too late. Either she was stunned at the sight of the front wall of her boutique being ripped up save for the door, or she simply didn’t care. As Pinkie’s hoof descended, it changed from grabbing at Anonymous to grabbing Rarity. He ran towards her, trying to grab onto her tail or rear leg in an effort to save her. He missed though, landing face first where she had been.

Rolling over, he got a front row view of yet another disturbingly nonchalant scene. Pinkie didn’t even give Rarity the time of day before slipping her between her lips. She stopped once her tail was the only thing sticking out, apparently tasting her. Her cheeks bulged out from side to side, she shuddered once, then swallowed, slurping up Rarity’s tale like an estranged purple noodle.

The last thing Anonymous saw was Rarity’s hat wafting down beside him, before he too was swept up by the great Pink monsterhorse. She bounded with him for a while, the shaking knocking the air out of his lungs every time, not giving him much of an opportunity to voice his opinion. Not that he really had anything to say. He knew he was doomed to be a snack too, just like Twilight and Rarity.

Once everything had stopped spinning and he had a chance to get his wits about him, Anonymous shook his head, taking in his surroundings. He was now on top of something incredibly plush, soft, and warm, but there was little light, save for streaks of sunlight coming through cracks in a ceiling he could quite make out.

Attempting to roll over, he found that his lower half was stuck. Looking down, he realized, to his horror, that the thing that was impeding his movement, was a large, pink, hoof. The more he looked around, the more disturbed he became. He was atop Pinkie’s belly, her hoof holding him down while she lightly snored.

As his eyes adjusted to the darkness, he realized just where he was. There was a Pinkie sized hole in the wall, but the Apple’s barn had remained fairly unscathed. Movement from below prompted Anonymous to look down at the big, lightly gurgling belly in horror, remembering what Pinkie had done previously.

“Uh, partner?”

“What? No! Run!” Anonymous yelled, struggling to find the source of the voice before it awoke Pinkie. “Run! You’ve still got a chance!”

What followed, instead of the rapid fading of hooves that he’d hoped for, was instead a giggle. A fairly recognizable, southern giggle.

“I don’t think I’ve got much to worry about there, Anon. Looks like Pinkie has ya right where she wants ya,” AJ said, giggling again.

Shaking his head, Anonymous looked around again for the source of the voice. This time, he found AJ standing over him, looking down. Looking around, Anonymous took inventory on his surroundings one more time, finding no gurgling pink belly, nor any Pinkie sized hole in the wall. He did however, find a pink hoof draped across his side. Rolling over, he found Pinkie snuggled up to his back, regular sized and sleeping fairly soundly.

“It was all a dream?” Anon said, looking from the sleeping mare to AJ.

“What was?”

Anonymous would’ve answered, had Pinkie not yawned widely in her sleep. It was an extended yawn, as the human had enough time to whip his head around and come face to face with Pinkie’s maw, dangling uvula and all. After smacking her lips and finishing her yawn, Anonymous answered the apple pony.

“You know what, I’ll tell you later.”

Comments

[MidnightLunaRunner]

i liked the first chap better, I say write more of that one. it mad me 'dawwwwwww!' all over the place

[Limits]

I love this. The last chapter was nice (and very well written), and then there's a sudden mood change into this chapter. It's funny, and one of those instances where the 'it's all a dream' ending is used well. You've earned a favorite.

[Lag Incarnate]

My head is all "wqvxz", but one word stands out from the rest: kinky.

[Nether]

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3569974
Well thank you kindly!

As far as more of what the Octavia chapter was, I'm working on a story actually dedicated to that sort of interaction. Dunno when I'll add more short stories to this though.

3571515
Well alrighty then. Glad you enjoyed it one way or the other!

[Patcheresu]

Hi, welcome to /d/, where Anonymous is accosted by Pinkie Pie.

That came out of left field, but I loved the way Rarity's death was done, especially how you described the roof just not existing in a flash.
===
“Very well. Sweeite, would you be a darling and clean up that cinnamon dust from your… experiment?” Sweeitie nodded, bouncing off to a room the human cared little about.

On the other hand you somehow got Sweetie Belle wrong twice. And in two different ways.

[Dead Account 20]

Huh. Well, that was significantly different. Although still enjoyable and entertaining, I prefer the feel to the first chapter more.

[Alticron]

Nice chapter, but Sweetie Belle's name is spelled wrong.

Sweeite, would you be a darling and clean up that cinnamon dust from your… experiment?

Sweeitie nodded, bouncing off to a room the human cared little about.