A Troll In Equestria

by Duke of Canterlot

AnimalsAreSoooooCute

Fluttershy loved the Internet. But with that noted, what pony out there didn’t love the Internet? It had something for everypony. It was also a great way to make friends, especially for shy ponies.

Fluttershy was amazed by how many ponies in Equestria held the same interest she did in animals. While Fluttershy’s closest friends in Equestria were always happy to hear her talk about her woodland critters, these ponies cared deeply about them rather than simply tolerating a friend’s interest.

Fluttershy’s favorite website was “Animal Lovers” which was a forum where ponies can discuss anything and everything about animals. Fluttershy’s favorite subforum was the “Animal Caretakers”. When she discovered the website, she realized early on how valuable she was in giving advice to other ponies on how to treat woodland critters. For a long time now, Fluttershy spent her nights on that website. She was so glad to be able to help other ponies and herself in the process. Many times, she was able to obtain good advice herself from perusing the forum.

Fluttershy logged on to the website to see if there were any new topics.
She saw some new topics where she could help “My bunny won’t eat anything”, “How to adopt the perfect cat”, “How to get my bird to eat arsenic”, “How to…”… huh, “How to get my bird to eat arsenic?”. How awful? Surely the creator of the post suffers from some horrible ignorance on the proper way to treat birds. Fluttershy noted the username of the poster was AnimalsAreSoooooCute

Fluttershly anxiously clicked on the link and she began to read.

“I recently bought a parakeet from the pet store. I named the parakeet Celestia, after my favorite princess. I saw a PonyTube video where somepony fed the parakeet high levels of arsenic and the parakeet began to cough and twitch. I think it is funny and I want to do the same thing for my parakeet. The trouble is that I seem to have trouble feeding her arsenic like in the video. It bit me, lol, I hope it dies for defying me. Any advice? I want to see my lovely parakeet do what Willy Nilly did in the video.”

How could somepony be so stupid? Fluttershy needed to help that pony. She saw that there were no replies yet. Maybe, she could still save the parakeet from death.

Fluttershy wrote back using her username Kindness.

“I think the reason why your parakeet does not want to eat the arsenic is that she knows it is bad for her. Animals have very good instincts in that regard and are actually more skilled than ponies at detecting poisonous items. Besides, that PonyTube video is fake and everypony knows that it was simply temporarily manipulated by a unicorn’s magic. I would advise you to stop this endeavor. I think you and your parakeet would be happier, if you did so.”

Fluttershy read the original post again which made her cringe, hopefully it wasn’t too late.

Fluttershy anxiously refreshed the thread in order to see if the original poster responded. Not surprisingly, there were many other replies from concerned ponies – some included insults. “Don’t feed your bird arsenic!”, “What are you, stupid?”, “You fucking nutjob, I hope social services takes away your bird”, “What do you have against Princess Celestia? Naming your bird after her and wanting to kill it?”

The original poster finally responded.

“Lol, thank you for all of the advice, but I will admit that my original question has not been answered yet. How can I feed Celestia arsenic? She refuses to do so.”

Fluttershy facehoofed. The poor bird..it needed to be saved. Fluttershy wanted to cry. She wished she could just talk some sense into the misguided pony. She got it! She would send a private message to AnimalsAreSoooooCute. Maybe, the original poster did realize his or her mistake and is too embarrassed to admit it.

Fluttershy sent a message. “Hello, I hope everything is alright with you and Celestia. I think you are making a terrible mistake by feeding your bird arsenic. Please don’t do it. She will die and not act like the bird on the PonyTube video. Please, don’t. –Kindess.”

AnimalsAreSoooooCute quickly respond to her PM. “Hello, Kindness. I saw it on PonyTube. The Internet is a series of tubes after all LOL. I think I can feed her arsenic and she will just act silly and not die. I will do so. It will be hilarious, I will post a video on the website once I finally get silly Celestia to consume the arsenic, LOL!! You love animals, so I think you will find the video awesome – LOL!”

Go LOL yourself, thought Fluttershy. Oh no, what could she do? This careless pony was going to kill an innocent creature because he or she thinks it is going to be funny. Fluttershy knew what she needed to do. She needed to track down this person and save Celestia the parakeet from being killed. How could somebody be so stupid? Fluttershy could feel the rage inside of her. She looked at the avatar of AnimalsAreSoooooCute. It was of a cute little bunny nibbling on some grass in a fresh meadow. How could somepony with such an adorable avatar be so cruel? But perhaps AnimalsAreSoooooCute wasn’t a bad pony, he or she was probably just fooled by the PonyTube video. Fluttershy groaned.

It might be easiest if she could talk to the pony one on one. She could talk some sense into AnimalsAreSoooooCute. If only she was better with computers, she could possibly track his or her location. However, she knew somepony that could help her: Princess Twilight Sparkle. Since computers and the internet were introduced to Equestria, Twilight learned all there was to know about the mechanics of the internet. Maybe she could help Fluttershy find where this pony lived so she could save Celestia the parakeet!

Author's Note:

Let me know what you think!!
I haven't decided yet whether I am going to make this a short story or a series.

Comments

[YB]

Actually that's interesting... I will probably come back when there is more to read.
Also, do you have an editor or something? It could help you improving your style a bit. It feels... unusual. Not really bothering, but pretty unusual.

Keep on writing

[Ampathy-Engine]

0/10
Trolls trying too hard /sarcasm
*Thumbs up*
A continuation of this could be good.

[Surtalioux]

This is actually super interesting. I can't wait until this continues!

[PastaDerpPony]

hmm... #sadfacetime!