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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Hey, sorry for taking so long to get back to you. Been busy updating my own stories, and reading others and such.
This part was certainly riveting. You did a good job of keeping a steady pace on the plotline and maintaining the ever-present threat of danger all throughout the chapter. At least three times, I thought something was going to go horribly wrong and either Slashwing or Boom (or both of them) would have been gravely injured. How fortunate that they navigated Stable 53 without TOO much difficulty. Save, of course, for the radgators and the other mercenaries.
So, will we be seeing any more of this blue pony (the borrowed OC)? Since he was the only one sensible enough to back down from Boom and Slash, I'm inclined to think he may have another role to play in the story.
Let's hope Slash won't be enduring his unbearable mouth pain for much longer. Otherwise his complaints may become vocal instead of just wisps of his thought process.
Good work here. On to the next chapter.