Emissary Anon

by Bastinator

Chapter 3: Filler Central

A light tapping stirs you awake. The blinding light catches you off-guard, but Luna’s annoyed figure is apparent. ”I thought you were trying to make this work.”

“Well, I’m not entirely comfortable with this arrangement yet.”

”That makes two of us then.”

You stand up, the sun high in the sky. “What time is it?”

”Early evening. Come, Twilight has returned and is anxious to meet you.”

That makes you feel better about today already. Luna leads you downstairs and into the greeting hall where Celestia and Twilight are. “Ladies, nice to see you again.”

”You will address them properly!” Luna barks at you.

”It is quite alright sister, he’s basically family now.” Both you and Luna cringe at the thought, but stay composed nonetheless. Luna and Celestia argue about your manners giving you an opportunity to talk to Twilight.

“Are they always like this?”

”Arguing? Not really. Luna tends to be civil, but this marriage has her in an uproar.”

You decide to change the subject. “So how have you been? We haven’t gotten much of an opportunity to talk.”

”I’m doing well now that I calmed down. It was a tad overbearing when I heard about the wedding.”

“Don’t worry about it. Someone has to be happy for me.”

”Aren’t your men happy for you?” Oh shit you forgot about them.

“They don’t know. I may have sent them back home in irritation.”

”Why in Equestria would you do that?”

“They pissed me off for the last time. In hindsight I should have kept them here. I need a best man after all.”

”I’ll have Spike send a letter to the dock telling them to head back.” You don’t know who this Spike is but you thank her anyways. Luna is still upset, but seems to be on the losing side of her argument. “So, Luna told me you were anxious to talk to me. Why?”

Twilight lights up, a devilish gleam in her eye. You don’t like the look of her. ”Princess Celestia?” she asks getting her attention, “Is it alright if I take Anon off of your hooves?”

She nods, “Just be back in time for dinner, we have much work to do.” Twilight grabs a hold of you and bolts down one of the halls. You’re not sure how she can run so fast using only three legs.

“Where are we going?” She pulls out a notebook, places and times scribbled in it.

”We have a schedule to keep.” She leads you down a familiar set of corridors, passing the night guard you met. He laughs as you’re basically dragged down the hall behind her.

“Evening Flash.”

”Evening Anon.” You give him a hurried salute before you’re dragged into another hall.

”No time for chitchat. Places to be, people to meet.” It isn’t long before you finally reach the kitchen. You step in at your own accord, still wondering why she even brought you here.

”Dang nab it, that’s the third time now. You’re testing my patience Caramel Munch.” You see an orange earth ponies talking to your chef buddy, apparently having discrepancies with their dishes.

“Shouldn’t I be leaving this stuff up to you?” The orange one catches wind of you and saunters over.

“Well howdy there partner. Name’s Applejack, pleasure ta meet ya.”

”Applejack, I’d like you to meet Prince Anon.”

“The pleasure’s all mine Applejack. Her eye’s light up when you introduce yourself.

”So you’re dat Anon. Twilight’s told us all about you.”

“Hopefully just the good stuff.”

”I did think you’d be taller though.”

“I think I’m tall plenty.”

”True ‘nough, now come on. We’ve got food to test.” You look over to Twilight for help, but she just laughs as you’re once again dragged away. She sits you down at a table. ”You ready sugarcube?”

“Is that a trick question?”

You can tell that’s a yes as she sets down a tray. She reveals a couple pastries, most of which you recognize. ”This here’s an apple crisp, apple tart and apple strudel with some apple jam on the side.” You pick up the crisp, chewing it with a bit of jam. ”I may not be as fancy as these here Canterlot chefs, but no one makes apple treats like I do.”

She’s not kidding either. This makes your favorite dessert taste like cat food in comparison. You go to take another bite, but Applejack smacks your hand. ”You ain’t filling up on no crisp on my watch. Ya still got more to go.” You don’t know what she means until she steps to the side, a dozen more platters lined up. ”So you get a bite of each, no more no less.” This is going to be a long session.

You eat a chunk of pie with some apple ice cream on top. You might just have to make her your personal chef. ”Well?”

“It’s good alright. It’s all been good, down to the individual morsel.”

”Aww shucks you’re just sayin that.”

“I am not. This is some of the best food I’ve tasted in my life.”

”This one’s a keeper isn’t he Twilight?”

“He sure is.” Twilight grins at you. You move the platter away from you along with the others and stand up, belly full.

“If this is what I can expect from the ceremony, then I welcome it.”

”Thank ya kindly Anon.”

“No, thank you Applejack.” You shake her hoof, and hurry behind Twilight who was growing impatient. ”She’s really nice, I like her. Reminds me of the farmers outside of my city.”

”Glad you do, she runs Sweet Apple Acres near Ponyville. I’m glad to call her my friend.”

“And I’m glad to call her my chef.”

Twilight barrels down the hallway, both of you passing Flash again. ”Busy day huh?”

“Isn’t it always.”

”Good luck with that.”

“I’ll try.”

Twilight finally comes to a stop outside another room. She lets you catch your breath before you both enter. Whoever’s in there seems to be humming to herself. Mannequins and swabs of fabric scatter the walls and floor. At the end of the room, a white unicorn is tending to an ensemble, her purple mane in prime form. She’s one of those mares isn’t she? ”Cutting up the pattern snip by snip, making sure the fabric flows nicely…”

She continues on oblivious to your arrival. ”Rarity?” She jumps up, startled at her suddenness.

”You really musn’t sneak up on me like that, what if the prince…” She’s speechless at the sight of you. ”Why hello there! You must be the prince I’ve heard sooo much about.”

”Anon this is Rarity. Rarity, Anon.”

”Charmed,” she says holding out her hoof delicately. You peck her hoof, yep she’s one of those mares. ”You are just handsome as can be,” she wraps her hooves around your arm.

“So what uh… What’re we doing today?”

”We’re making your suit of course.” Fucking designers… ”So first, we need to get you out of that dreadful armor of yours,” She claps her hooves, “Chip chop.”

“Is that really necessary?”

She recognizes your hesitation, “Don’t be such a baby; we’re naked all the time aren’t we.” Don’t think about it. Don’t think about it. Don’t think about it. You don’t argue, and begin stripping off your armor, the pieces resting on the floor. You keep on your boxers, she doesn’t need to take that precise of measurements. Rarity picks up your armor, stopping when she gets to your leggings.

”What is that awful smell?” She takes a closer sniff, her cheeks blushing and eyes widening. You don’t know what’s worse, that she thinks you’ve been getting busy, or how she recognizes the odor. Both aren’t very pleasant.

“Didn’t happen.” You don’t say more to rouse Twilight’s suspicion, but Rarity got the message. She pulls out a measuring tape, the clod metal tingling against your skin.

”Let the fashion… begin!”

Thankfully, it wasn’t as climactic as she made it sound. You’ve just spent the last hour standing in place while she looked between two different pieces of fabric. She asked your opinion occasionally, only to change the options when you chose incorrectly. Other than that all you did was stand there like a statue. She also expressed her irritation that you ate before coming to her, something about her numbers being off. The moment couldn’t come sooner when she said you were done. You wasted no time on getting the fuck out of there. Now Twilight’s the one following you.

”She’s-“

“You don’t need to say it.”

”A handful,” she laughs as she catches up to you. It’s only then that you don’t know where you’re going to next. She rolls her eyes, “Follow me.” Where would you be without her? She’s quite the mare alright.

The two of you enter a large hall, decorations already displayed. “Looks like this place is already finished. What are we even-“

”Fore!” You hear a bang accompanied by a thud as you hit the ground. ”Oops, sorry about that. I should have- *gasp* You’re Anon aren’t you?” The pink pony grabs you and twirls around making your head spin. She sure is strong for someone so small.

Twilight finally comes to your aid, pulling you away from the deranged pony. You barely keep your balance, your body wanting to go in eight directions at once. “Now Pinkie Pie here is a handful.” A rush of pink clouds your view, her face inches from there.

”Hiya. You like your decorations? Do ya do ya do ya? Too… much… energy…

“Love them,” you say unable to even open your eyes without vomiting from nausea.

”You didn’t even look, here let me help you.” Oh god no, don’t help me. Anything but that…

”He saw it when he walked in Pinkie. He’ll be okay in a minute.”

You manage to open your eyes without purging, giving her a coy smile. “See? I’m okay.”

”Okie dokie lokie,” she says bouncing away. You turn to Twilight, who’s barely holding in her laughter. You can’t help but laugh either, though you don’t know why you’re laughing at your own expense.

”I should have told you about her before.”

“You think?” Besides the abrupt introduction things turned out well with Ms.Pie. Her taste in music was astute and down-to-earth. She managed to convince you to demonstrate the ‘Pony Pokey’ which wasn’t one of your better choices. You looked like you were having a stroke. Twilight stepped in, and though she wasn’t any better than you she made you feel a good deal more comfortable. You might just have to ask her for a dance at the wedding.

Before long you have to say your goodbyes to Pinkie much to her dismay. She keeps her chin up though, her spirit never waiving for a second. You both exit into the gardens where your next appointment lay. “So your friends are basically running this thing aren’t they?”

”Yeah, the last one they put on was a hit, the invasion excluded.” You heard about that, Chrysalis and the Changelings was big news in Glaemar. ”It makes sense for Celestia to ask for us to manage this one as well.”

“I’m happy they got you too.” She smiles, leading you further into the gardens. The cooing of birds floats on the wind, lending their grace to that of the garden. Twilight holds a hoof up to her mouth, hushing you. The two of you quietly follow the music to its source, a small orchestra of birds, plus a yellow Pegasus down below. She appears to be giving them directions, but you didn’t know anyone could communicate with animals in such a way. Twilight whispers something you can’t even hear, but it seems to catch the attention of the Pegasus. Her voice is soft and inaudible to your ears, but you can tell it’s sweet.

She comes closer to Twilight, yourself hidden by a large shrub. ”Oh, hi Twilight. I was just rehearsing for the wedding. It’s going to be wonderful.”

”It certainly sounds like it. Alright now, I don’t want you to freak out or anything.”

”Uhmm, okay.” Her voice is shaky, and she hasn’t even seen you yet. Poor girl.

”Fluttershy, I’d like you to meet Prince Anon.”

You step out from behind the shrub, Fluttershy nowhere to be seen. “Did- Did I miss something?”

”Fluttershy come on, he’s not going to hurt you.” Twilight drags Fluttershy out from her hiding place, her legs trembling like they’re about to fall off. Twilight gives her a nudge.

”Uhm… I’m Flutter…” Her voice cuts out before she could finish. She tries again, letting out nothing more than a few squeaks. Twilight facehoofs, ready to just give up. You won’t surrender so easily.

You kneel down to her level, brushing away the hair covering her face. “My name is Anon,” you whisper, “It’s nice to meet you.” Your gentle touch seems to do the trick.

”I’m Fluttershy.” Both of you smile as you stand back up with Twilight.

“Would you care to give us another demonstration please Fluttershy?”

”Okay,” she says with more assertiveness, “Just give me one second.” She gathers up the birds again and whispers directions for them to take.

“Well that wasn’t so hard now was it?”

”I don’t think I’ve ever seen Fluttershy that receptive before, what did you say to her?”

“People like her don’t like to be approached, but if you do it’s better to be on their level. Act as they do, you won’t make progress by being too forward.”

”That’s- quite a sound response. How would you approach me?”

“You? Hmm… I’d probably ask you if you had a copy of Starswirl the Bearded: A Biography, and then you’d ask…”

”Which volume?”

“And presto, instant conversation starter.”

”You know me too well Anon.”

“I’d like to know more when you have a chance.” The harmonic music fills the air once more, stealing your mind away. Its tranquility is only matched by its sheer elegance. It’s like nothing you ever listened to before. You and Twilight just sit there, moving with the music. You didn’t want to go through with this wedding, but after today, you’re feeling a bit better about it. If only Fluttershy can cut out that nasty whistling noise.

”Look out below!” Well fuck never mind. A blurry object comes hurling towards the ground directly at you. This shit’s not happening to you twice. You take a stance and ready yourself for the oncoming Pegasus projectile. The closer she gets the better you can see her, and her messed up mane. Who’s mane is rainbow colored anyways? She reaches you, and though she’s light her speed does a number on you. You’re forced backwards, your feet sliding across the ground as you grab the Pegasus. Pain shoots through your arm when you finally stop and drop her. “Nice catch there dude. You alright?”

You clutch your arm and grit your teeth. The pain is fucking unbearable. “Just dandy,” you say with obvious sarcasm.

”Rainbow Dash you should really be more careful. Anon’s hurt thanks to you.”

”This guy? He’s just being a baby.” Is this mare serious? She’s lucky you were even able to catch her. You grimace and sit down on a bench. You run your hand over your shoulder, examining your injury.

“I think it’s dislocated.” Fluttershy comes over and inspects you. She tries to be gentle, but it’s still painful for you.

”Hold still, this may hurt a bit.” She grabs hold of your arm, stretching it every which way she can. You tighten your grip on the bench in retaliation. ”I’m sorry Anon,” the Pegasus says.

“Forget about it, you didn’t know.”

A loud pop is followed by immediate relief. “Thanks Fluttershy. You’re a dear.” She blushes before returning to round up her birds that scattered during the scuffle.

”Are you going to be fine?” Twilight asks worriedly.

“As fine as I’ll ever be. This is nothing in the grand scheme of things.” Twilight shoots a death glare at Rainbow Dash.

”What? I already said I’m sorry.” You chuckle to yourself. Another friend of Twilight it seems. She certainly has a variety of friends.

You extend your uninjured hand to her. “The name’s Anon. Rainbow Dash correct?”

”The one and only,” She spits on her hoof and extends it as well.

”Really Dash? He’s not going to-“ You do the same, shaking her hoof spit and all.

She smiles, “You’re not so bad for a prince now are ya?”

“Not bad at all.”

Twilight shakes her head playfully, “You never fail to surprise me.”

“So what’re you in charge of for the wedding?”

”Don’t you know? Twilight, how doesn’t he know?”

”He wouldn’t believe me if I did.”

“Tell me what exactly? Surprises aren’t exactly something I like.”

Rainbow Dash stands proudly, flaring her wings for effect. “I’m going to perform a sonic rainboom at the ceremony. A sonic rainboom, like breaking the sound barrier and making a rainbow?

“Bullshit.”

”Will too. I did one at Cadence’s wedding as well. They’ll never forget that.”

“Let me explain how you’re wrong. First no living creature can break the sound barrier, and two you can’t just make a rainbow. There are conditions that have to be met.”

”You want to make a bet on it?” Betting on a scientific impossibility?

“Ten silver bits says you’re full of it.”

”Deal, we’ll settle this at the wedding, for now I have to practice.” She darts upwards, continuing her exercises.

“Just practice up those bits you owe me.”

Twilight escorts you back inside the castle. The two of you reach her library where both of you rest. ”So are you sure your shoulder is okay?”

“It’s fine, you worry too much.”

”I know. I just don’t like seeing my friends hurt.” You understand what she means. Seeing those you care for in pain is never a good feeling. ”Speaking of friends, what do you think of mine?” So many things you could say about her friends…

“Applejack is my favorite, followed by Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash. They’re easier for me to connect with.”

”Pinkie and Rarity?”

“Not so much. Rarity’s far too uptight, and Pinkie is well… Pinkie.”

”I see where you come from, but they’re my friends all the same.”

“Keep them close. Stay with those you value.”

She yawns, “Anyways, I think I’m forgetting something…”

“You did say you were going to send a letter for me.”

”Ah yes of course, I’ll send it as soon as Spike gets back.” She looks from side to side nervously, before bringing her head closer. ”He has a crush on-“

”Forever!” Pinkie Pie recedes back into the bookshelf, disappearing entirely.

“Uh, did I miss something?”

”Nothing. Just Pinkie being Pinkie.”

“I should have guessed as much.” She yawns again, this one more drawn out than the last.

“You seem a bit tired. How late have you been up?”

”Just the last two days. I’ve been busy lately.”

“Well now you’re not, so I want you to rest.”

”But-“

“No buts. Do it as a favor for me.” She reluctantly agrees, making her way to her bed. She slides underneath the covers, sleep rapidly approaching her. ”I really should *yawn* stay up.”

“I’ll do enough for the both of us alright?”

She closes her eyes and puts on a smile. ”Will you stay until Spike comes back?”

“Of course I will Twilight, just take it easy.” She yawns, her breathing slowing down to a rhythmic pace. Poor thing, she should have taken a rest. You stroke her mane now that she’s fast asleep. “Didn’t I already tell you Twilight? Stay with those you care for.”