Caramel can't figure out why Macintosh is avoiding him lately. Is it because they haven't made love yet?
You may want to work on your short description. It left me more perplexed than intrigued.
For a story that claims to focus more on romance and the troubles that couples run into per communication, you might want to try something like:
Caramel and Big Macintosh have been seeing each other lately, but when Mac grows distant, Caramel is left to wonder why.
If anything, the best sentence you have is the first one. Perhaps spin it off a bit, try it.
Your short description is what will draw in potential readers, leaving your story ready to shine.
I'm not into M/M, but I felt you might have needed a hoof with your story.
Good luck!
3450644Yeah, I'm not really good with summary...Thanks!
3450718
No problem, the hook is one of the hardest parts to a fic.
You better fix these to or else ill have to beco me a nightmare dweller and haunt you to death*smiles maniaclly*
3456539Vinyldropsthebase pls. You want to play with meeee??? Imma haunt you faster than the pH change around equivalence point! See what I did there? Cause you're Vinyl drops the base... (I'm so lonely... )
DID U VUT CARAMEL OFF I WILL STAB YOU TO DEATH IF YOU DID
I didn't notice until near the end that I was actually cringing just thinking about that. WHY CARAMEL, WHY?
You may want to work on your short description. It left me more perplexed than intrigued.
For a story that claims to focus more on romance and the troubles that couples run into per communication, you might want to try something like:
If anything, the best sentence you have is the first one. Perhaps spin it off a bit, try it.
Your short description is what will draw in potential readers, leaving your story ready to shine.
I'm not into M/M, but I felt you might have needed a hoof with your story.
Good luck!
3450644
Yeah, I'm not really good with summary...
Thanks!
3450718
No problem, the hook is one of the hardest parts to a fic.
You better fix these to or else ill have to beco me a nightmare dweller and haunt you to death*smiles maniaclly*
3456539
Vinyldropsthebase pls. You want to play with meeee???
Imma haunt you faster than the pH change around equivalence point!
See what I did there? Cause you're Vinyl drops the base...
(I'm so lonely... )
DID U VUT CARAMEL OFF I WILL STAB YOU TO DEATH IF YOU DID
I didn't notice until near the end that I was actually cringing just thinking about that. WHY CARAMEL, WHY?