Be water my friend

by Steve_is_mad

"If you put water into a bottle it becomes the bottle."

My apartment door opened up, revealing a rather short brunette girl. She was wearing nothing but a towel, which covered both her upper and lower section.

Her chocolate brown eyes was narrowed as she gazed at me with a hint of annoyance

“Hur tusan lyckas du med att glömma dina nycklar varje gång du ska ut?”
(How the hell do you keep forgetting your keys every time you go out?)

I just shrugged at her as she took a step to the side so that I could enter our apartment. She closed the door after me as I took of my winter jacket and pulled of my shoes and walked over to the living room to greet my pet bird Jackie. That poor thing was sitting all alone on his favorite stick in a rather small cage besides the tv. He is a splendor rosella, a beautiful bird with the base colour red. But his wings and back was framed with all kinds of majestatic colours. Cyan blue, light green and orange. And under his beak was a spot of white. He was indeed a sight to behold.

“Hey Jackie!” I called out to him cheerfully. He did not however answer me as he used to. He just sat there on his favorite stick and looked down to the bottom of the cage.

I gave a sad sigh as I sat down beside the cage.

“Ja jag vet… Det känns ensamt när han inte är här längre.”
(Yeah I know… It feels lonely now that he aint here anymore.)

I said to him with a hint of sadness in my voice.

“Vad sa killen vid djuraffären om Jack? Visste han vad som var för fel på han?”
(What did the guy at the pet shop say about Jack? Did he know what was wrong with him?)
Veronica asked as she walked up to me and gave me a hug from behind. My back started to become soaked with water from Veronicas towel but I did not pay any heed about it.

“Nej… Han blev lika chockad som jag när jag berättade om Jack… Det var troligtvis en någon form av en hjärtattack…”
(No ... He was just as shocked when I told him about Jack ... It was probably a some kind of a heart attack …)

Jack was my other pet bird. He was the same kind of bird as Jackie but he was a little bit more withdrawn than Jackie was. He did sadly enough past away after just a few days after I got him. The sad thing about it was that Jack was Jackies partner for a whole year. And that means a lot for a bird like them.

“Men vi måste väl få en ny? Plus, när kommer deras riktiga bur att komma in?”
(But we must surely get a new one? Plus, when will their proper cage get in stock?)
Veronica asked as she let me go and started to go back to our room, probably about to dress up.

“Han sa att vi skulle få en ny praktrnosella… Men jag funderar på att ta in en annan art… Och han sa att buren skulle nog komma in nästa vecka.”
(He said we would get a new splendor rosella ... But I'm thinking about to bring in another species ... And he said that the cage would probably come in next weekend.)

I said over my shoulder so that she could hear me. I stood up and started to inspect the cage. This cage was as, I mentioned earlier, a rather small one. But not small enough to be called animal cruelty.

“Bra med mat, rent vatten och ren bur i allmänhet.”
(Good amount of food, clean water and clean cages in general.)
I said to myself with a small smile. At least Jackie here had a proper home.

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“That does not change the fact that the dreadful monster hurt my Spikie wikey!” A certain snow white coated unicorn mare stated as she was taking another sip from her glass of water/vodka/martini- I don’t know.

“Ah know that! But we can’t ignore the fact that he saved mah life!” The western pony protested.

“But that doesn't make any sense! Why would he save your life when you clearly heard him stating that he was not afraid to kill you off if he didn’t get what he wanted!” Said Twilight

“Ah think that it was just empty threats, Twi’.... Ah think that he was just scared.”

“I still don’t think that we should let him out! Scared or not, no freak hurts my friends and gets away with it!” The cyan coloured mare named Rainbow Dash protested as she slammed her hoof on the table.

A yellow pony with pink mane jumped up in the air with an “eeeee” and curled up into a yellow/pink fluffy ball of cuteness when she landed on the cold hard cafe floor.

“I agree with Rainbow on this one” Said Rarity. “He may have been scared but that does not give him the rights to hurt anypony. And Twilight here was ready to make some changes for this beast, but was he greatful?”

“Grateful!? How would ya’ll feel after being trapped behind a glass wall for two whole weeks?! And the way you describe it Twi’, it sounded like he could only stand up or laying down on his bed!”

“B-but I was willing AND preparing to expand it!” Twilight said as she tried to defend herself.

“But do you really think that would be enough?” Pinkie pie asked. “I don’t know about you guys but I would go CREEEEAAZY if I was imprisoned like that!”

“But would you hurt other ponies in order to break free?” Twilight asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Dunno” Pinkie simply answered as shrugged. “It depends if those who keeps me imprisoned is a bunch of meanie pants or not”

Silence fell over the table. It was about now that Twilight noticed that they were the only ones who was in this cafe except for two guards a few tables away who was eating their supper with a healthy appetite.

“What do you think about this darling?” Rarity asked Fluttershy. “You have been quiet throughout this whole conversation.”

“Like always” Rainbow stated as she rolled her eyes.

O-oh I… I-I think that….we should give him a chance.”

“What?!” Both Twilight and rainbow bursted out.

“I-I’m sorry….”

“D-don’t be sorry, darling but…. WHY would we give him a chance?”

“B-because I-I believe that he is… A nice… Human, we just have to give him a chance.”

“A nice human?” Rainbow asked. “He knocked out spike and kicked AJ down the stairs! Yeah he saved her life, so what?! For all we know he may have planned to gain our trust so that he could takes us out when we lower our guards down!”

“I-I don’t think that he would do such thing.”

“How do you know?” Twilight asked.

“B-because his eyes…”

And once again silence fell upon the table.

“Whatever do you mean, dear?”

“W-when I first met my friend, Mr. bear, he accidently fell down from a cliff and broke one of his hind leg... And that made him… Scared and very aggressive. I-it was difficult to treat him but when I finally managed to patch him up he became the sweetest teddy bear there is!”

Rainbow dash gave out an irritated groan as she facedhoofed.
“We are not talking about an animal from everfree here, shy! We are talking about an alien who obviously have no trouble hurting ponies!”

“B-but you’re wrong! very wrong! I-I don’t think that he likes to hurt anypony!”

“Again, Fluttershy. There’s no evidence that he is a peaceful human!”

“Yes there is!” Applejack bursted out and made everypony around the table to turn their heads to her.

“And that is…?” Rarity asked.

“Think ‘about it! He is all alone in a unknown planet without any friends or family by his side! Say, Rainbow. Wouldn’t you do everything in your power to break free and find a way home?”

“I… I guess.” The athlete answered while lowering her head.

“Don’t get me wrong now. Ah don’t think that what he did was acceptable in any way, but ah do however believe that he deserves another chance”

“When you put it like that…” Twilight said. Now everypony around the table was lowering their heads.

Rainbow dash was just about to say something when a deep voice filled the cafe. The six girls turned their heads towards the entry and saw a royal guard calling his fellow guards a few tables away from them.

“HEY, YOU TWO! Princess Celestia have ordered us to meet up at the interrogation room!”

“W-What? Why!?” One of the guards replied.

“I don’t know for sure! But there are a few who says that we are gonna arrest the creature and bring him down to the dungeon!”

“We’re on our way!” And with that the guards abandoned their supper and rushed towards their destination.

The girls however took a few seconds to process the information about the event that is about to occur. Then they all looked at each other and then they all started to run to the interrogation room as fast as they could.

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“What the actual fuck is this shit?! For fuck sake, I thought that I was rather clear when it came to NO CRUNCHES!” I cried to no one in particular as I opened up my sandwich and looked through the layer after layer of lettuce and… Flowers?
“No butter either? What kind of sick fucks are they?” I mumbled to myself as I removed the flowers. Truth to be told, they were actually kinda beautiful… The flowers that is. White petal and a yellow Center, What was those called again? Eh, who cares? They are pretty, nuff said.

Once I was done with the removing of biologic forms that possessed photosynthesis abilities, I started to stack them up in a pile. I counted up to five of them and looked through my sandwich in case I missed one. And nope, five it was. I gave a sigh before I started to take a bite of the lettuce filled abomination called ‘sandwich’.

And as I expected… Dry as fuck and just as tasteless. But it was still a rather nice change from pancakes and apples 24/7. And yes, I pulled of the crunches because it seemed that I am the only one who is competent enough to accomplish such task.

I was halfway through my sandwich when the door burst open, and in walked three earthpony guards. I got a little surprised at that display but I think I did not give out such signals.

“Oh finally! I asked for an actual sandwich without crunches! How in the royal fuck did you all mess tha-”

I did not finish my sentence before the guards aimed their spears dangerously close to my face.

“...On second thoughts though… I think that I’ll take the sandwich as it is….”

“You’re under arrest by the orders of our ruler princess Celestia.”

“...Yeah I HAVE been under arrest by that bitch for quite a while now”

The guard was not amused by my response and therefore brought his spear very, very close to my throat. I could actually feel the cold and sharp metal pressing at my adams apple.

“Silence you scum! You’re gonna follow us to the dungeon peacefully or we WILL use force”

Everything became silent for a few seconds.

“Can I at least finish my sandwich?” This got resulted with another pair of spears pressing against my throat. I lifted up my hands defensively and slowly rose up from the chair. The spears was of course following my throat until I was fully standing up.

“Now move!” one of the guards demanded. And I did what they so nicely asked me to do. If they were unicorns I would have an easier fight on my hands but I may be able to lose them in the many corridors this castle haaaaaaave… Forgot what I just said because just at the moment I opened the door I was greeted with at least 60 guards waiting outside for me.

“Well… GG I guess.” I sighed to myself as I stopped moving right outside the door. And that resulted in me being poked on my back with those bloody spears.

“Did we tell you too stop? Keep moving you criminal scum!” And so I did. I started to walk down the mighty hall of guards as they started to walk along with me. Even a few pegasuses…. Pegasi? eh who cares, Pegasuses were flying above me, but they were not pointing any spears at me but something much worse. It looked like some kind of blades that was covering their wings. So they basically created a weapon that needed their strongest and most flexible parts of their body in order to use it? Maybe they are not a bunch of picnic addicted lunatics after all.

However, the guards guided me through some corridors and impressive rooms and some less impressive stairs. But alas, we came to a stop. It was odd though because we were standing in the middle of a corridor with no windows or doors, that I can understand because I must be deep down inside this castle. But that does not answer my question why we stopped.

But little did I know that my question soon would be answered as I heard some voices behind me. A bunch of feminine voices I do believe, I did not however turn around because I had no clue if the guards would approve that so I just stood still until I heard…

“Let us through! This is all a misunderstanding!”

I swear that I have heard that voice before….

“He is not a monster! He’s just misunderstood”

If I only got a clue of who it could be….

“I’m terrible sorry miss sparkle. But this is a direct order from princess Celestia herself. If you want to release this creature from his custody you must speak to her.”

…...Nope. Still blank.

“What?! But why can’t we just bring him back to Celestia so we can convince her?!”

“It doesn’t work that way Miss sparkle. Celestia is in the throne room, speaking with your brother. Meantime we have to secure him inside the dungeon as Celestia ordered us to do in the first place.”

First she plan to keep me beside a small glass box for 4 weeks, then she keeps me inside an interrogation room for several hours…. And now she want me to shake bars?

“D-don’t worry Martin! We will get you out of this mess, I promise!”

What a nice soul… If I only knew who it was. Gotta thank her later though because I heard a pair of hoofs galloping away.

“Just because you’re lucky enough to have the elements of harmony on your side doesn't mean that you’re free to stand here for the rest of the night. Keep moving.”

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I have been in this dark cell for a while now. I can’t really tell how long I have been here though, the darkness has its way to erase all senses of concept of time. It is possible that I have been here for only two hours but it feels like an eternity.

I was leaning against the wall on my “bed” and looked behind the metallic bar door. The only light source was a pair of torches whose flames were dancing around in a hypnotic way.

“Good thing that they are swaying like that. That means that there is a draft somewhere around. Maybe a way out?” I thought to myself as I stood up and stretched.

“I’ll give them two breakfasts before I set my escape plan in motion. And this time I won’t play nice…. Please, whoever you are, that were supposed to get me out, do it before I’ll do anything we all regret.”

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I woke up by a someone hitting the iron bars continuously. I looked over to the exit of my beloved abode and saw a unicorn guard with a baton like object levitating besides him.

“You have a visitor” The guard simply stated as he took a step to the side and a quite a familiar lavender colored unicorn got in my sight.

“How does it come that whenever I see you, there's a wall between us?”

Twilight rolled her eyes as her horn started to glow her signature color and so did the bar door, but it lost its glowing aura as soon as it was fully opened.

“Was it unlocked all along?” I thought to myself. But I did not care for long because I am finally free!!

“We are gonna have a conversation with princess Celestia and princess Luna. And if we’re lucky you might be set free tonight!” Twilight exclaimed with glee. But I can’t say that I was bursting with joy, knowing that I have to spend more time inside the same room with that fucktard called princess.

“Not for being a stick in the mud, but why the instant revision on the princess’s part?”

“I wouldn’t call it ‘instant’. It took a little while to truly convince the princesses to set you free but we managed!”

I know that I should explode with pure happiness but I can’t get out that nagging feeling back in my head that I want to highfive the princess in the face with a chair. And if Twilight here is speaking the truth, then such action have to wait…Unfortunately.

“So what’s the catch?” I asked with a raised eyebrow.

Twilight did not answer me at first but kept on looking at me as if she was trying to think up something to say.

“Well, y-you see…” She started off. “That’s why we are gonna have a ‘conversation’ with Celestia and Luna… So we can come up with terms and conditions in exchange for your freedom.”

“What are we waiting for?!” I said as I quickly stood up, walked past Twilight and headed down the dark corridor.

“W-wait for me!”
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As we were walking up the stairs I noticed that something were missing.

“Where’s the guards?” I asked as I looked around.

“Oh I made sure that that kind of assistance wouldn’t be necessary” Twilight stated happily.

“Cool, Cool.” I simply responded as we reached the top of the stairs and headed down one of the many white corridors in this castle. “So, how many are gonna participate in our, hopefully, friendly and non violent verbal discussion about my freedom and my way back home?”

“You, me, princess Celestia, Luna and five of my friends”

“Ah, is it those five friends that you mentioned the first week we met?” I asked as I looked down to Twilight.

“Yes they are, so you WERE listening to what I said to you?”

“Of course I did, just because I didn’t answer you doesn't mean that I wasn’t listening.”

“About that, WHY did you go mute those two weeks anyway? It made my research a lot complicated than it had to be.” Twilight stated with a hint of irritation in her voice.

“To be 100% honest with you, I did it just to get on your nerves.” That made Twilight staring at me with an expression that said: ‘Are you bucking seriouse?!’ “But I soon realized that it was a waste of time so I decided to talk to y’all, which resulted as a fruitless act so I esc- you know what happened next.”

“I see…” Silence did its part as we walked down the corridor and made a right turn, and what do you know? More corridors.

“Where’s Spike by the way?” That question looked like it came out of the blue for Twilight, because it took a few seconds for her to answer me.

“H-he is still in ponyville to look after the library. Why?”

“I just wanted to apologise for what I did to him. I can’t say that knocking a baby dragon belongs on my wall of pride.” Knowing that I have harmed a mere child bring sadness into my heart. And I think that Twilight noticed it because she walked closer to me and gave me a friendly smile.

“I’m glad that you regret what you did. It proves that you are not a monster.”

“I guess” I sighed as we now turned right and stopped before two gigantic doors.

“Now.” Twilight started as she stopped in front of me and looked up to me. “Behind these doors are the throne room. In there we’re gonna come up with terms and conditions in exchange for your freedom and a ticket home, so can you PLEASE behave?! I have heard about your stunts in the interrogation room.” Twilight pleaded. Seriously, why does everyone think that I am all trouble?

“Yeah, Yeah. Let’s get it over with.” I said as I walked past Twilight and pushed one of the doors. What I didn’t foresee was as soon as the door was half opened a pink equine appeared from nowhere only inches away from my face. That sudden appearance made me take a few steps back and waving my arms in random directions as I yelled kid friendly curses on my native language.

“HelloI’mPinkiePie!” The pink devil introduced herself as she bounced towards me. I, as manly as I am, Started to back away from her while continuously called her all sorts of kid friendly names in Swedish. It did not last for long because she, somehow, managed to appear behind me and gave me a hug.

“You talk funny! And you don’t look like a monster, more like a mutated monkey!”

“I-I beg you pardon!?” I asked as I lost my footing and started to havering towards the doors. And as you expected I crashed through the doors and my face became best friend with the floor, and somehow the pink devil managed to stay on my back as we both was gliding towards the center of the room.

“P-Pinkie! Twilight called out as she started to run to us.

“That was super duper fun! Again! Again!” The pink fucktard exclaimed as she was jumping up and down on my back.

“G-get of him! C-can’t you see that you’re hurting him?!” It was about now that pinkie pie looked down and noticed that I was not moving. She quickly jumped off me and started to shake my body.

“I-Im sorry! I-I didn’t mean to hurt you, are you ok?!” I just gave her a groan as an answer. My nose were pulsing. I hope she didn’t break it, it’s my favorite nose after all.

“Pinkie! What in tarnation did you do!?” A familiar voice filled my ears as I started to turn around so I saw the ceiling. The sound of hoof beats also echoed in the room. And soon enough six pony heads appeared above me.

“A-are you ok darling?” The white one asked.

“Don’t strangle the pink one, don’t strangle the pink one. For the love of God, don’t strangle the pink one. This is your only chance for freedom in a peaceful manner, so don’t you fucking blow it!” I screamed to myself inside my head. You may think that I am too harsh on the poor little #&¤” /@#€ but I have spend more time isolated than a human being should have, I’m hungry as fuck because no one in this damn castle seems to know how to make A PROPER SANDWICH! And now… a pink pony made me have a nice acquaintance with the cold, hard floor. Needless to say, I am pissed…

“I am…. Ok…..” I started off. “Can someone hel-”

“SomePONY” Twilight coughed. And that ladies and gentlemen made my right eye twitch. That last statement was the last drop, and they bloody knew it because they started to take a few steps back.

“.............. Twilight….. My dear. Everything has its own time and place, you know… And being a smartass does not, I repeat, does NOT fit in here.”

“S-sorry” Twilight said weakly. I’m telling you, it took everything I had in me to hold in all the rage and frustration that wanted to break free so, so, so badly. All I could do was to take a few deep breaths and count to ten.

“I’m sorry everyone… I have been through some difficult times, that’s all.” I said as I started to sit up and check if my nose was ok. And thankfully it was, infact, I wasn’t even bleeding!

“Oh, there is no need to apologies darling.” The white one started. “Just look at you! you look like a mess!”

“Spend two weeks imprisoned without a shower, then spill apple juice over your clothes and be captured again. After that see how fresh YOU look” I said as I started to stand up. “By the way, where is the princesses? I want to get this over with so that I can take a shower and have something GOOD to eat”

“Then thou shalt be pleased to hear that we have arrived, creature.” A powerful voice appeared behind me. I slowly turned around and saw a dark alicorn whose wings were expanded in a rather majestic way. But boy does she talk weird or what?

Comments

[MasterSpike]

Dude... the grammar and spelling errors I saw were just bad. Please, PLEASE fix them. Also, you should probably put every chapter under heavy revision before posting them to avoid comments like this. Sure, it'll take longer, but everything that's actually GOOD takes time and effort.

That being said, I still loved the story advancement in this thing. Great job storywise so far!

Also, I probably should've asked this earlier but... are there gonna be any human/pony relationships? Because I just don't like those.

[The Valeyard]

Love it!!!

[Steve_is_mad]

3627756 glad to hear :)

[ShittyMKSound]

The calm stream will always overcome the raging torrent.

[Steve_is_mad]

3627813 couldn't have said it better myself brotha! :)

[hs0003]

When will you update?

[Steve_is_mad]

4480672 Oh lordy lord!!! How long has it been since my last upd- HALF A YEAR?!!?!?! Well..... I blame my school :-/ but do not be afraid/sad/angry! I just so happened to have a 2/3 done chapter right in front of me! All I need now is inspiration....... To answer your question, soon... really soon