House of Chaos

by JusSonic

Chapter 3: How to Haunt a House

Chapter 3: How to Haunt a House

Rainbow smirks as she saw the Witches of the Volcano of Gloom sitting a table, preparing to scare them. She sneak up on them and is about to do so...but Hydia turns to the Pegasus pony while snapping, "Watch it or I will sic the Smooze on you!"

"Aw horse apples!" Rainbow groans as she flew off into defeat. "I won't be scary at this rate unless I change costumes."

Twilight watch what's happening from stage, she chuckles while saying, "Rainbow may be trying to scare folks, but in this next cartoon, 'How to Haunt a House', she gets spooked herself!"

The audience applauds as the next cartoon begins.

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]"How to Haunt a House"

As our story begins, Pinkie was humming happily as she heads outside for the day, unaware of what's going to happen...until now as mentioned by our narrator.

"This following presentation will show how to haunt the living! Before we do this, one must be..."

As Pinkie bounces outside, she fails to see a couple of stallions pulling a carriage heading her way...until we go back inside and heard a tramping crashing noise.

"...no longer living."

Pinkie bounces back into Sugarcube Corner...by bouncing right through the door! It's true, the Earth pony is dead, now a ghost. But she didn't notice yet as the mare hums while going into the fridge, eating some cupcakes that she can't digest now.

Pinkie now bounce past a TV to show her skeleton (which is weird because ghosts aren't supposed to have any bones) and heart shaped underwear...wait, what? Okay, never mind. This is Pinkie Pie after all!

"All right, this fine specimen you see is of course commonly known in Equestria as...a ghost."

"Gah! A ghost," Pinkie gasps in shock as she flies behind the chair. The pony looks around in worry, "Where? Where's the ghost?"

"Pinkie Pie, that would be you."

"Wait...I'm...a ghost now?" Pinkie asks in shock. She looks at herself and gasps in shock and worry. "I'm dead?!"

"Yes, you were killed in that accident just a few seconds go."

Pinkie gasps in terror and worry, "No, no, no, no; you can't kill me off! You never kill off your favorite characters and cute cartoons in your stories! I am not ready to be dearly departed yet! I don't wanna be dead!"

"Relax, Pinkie Pie, this ghost thing is only temporarily until the cartoon's over. You will be back in life once it's done."

Pinkie tries to sit in a chair but fell right through it. The Earth pony got up, saying, "Well, being a ghost does sound super duper fun! So how shall we do it?"

"In a How to sketch which we shall call..."

We see gravestone, lightning flashes as the narrator announce these steps.

"HOW TO HAUNT A HOUSE!"

Another gravestone appears along with the first step of the 'How to...' sketch. Pinkie can't wait to get started.

"Step One...Choosing a house to haunt. To find the right place house to haunt involves location, location and, yes, location; and what way to do so than in the classified ads?"

At a local carriage station, Pinkie put her hoof through the glass of a newsstand and got a newspaper out (don't ask). The pony checks the classified ads for any ideas of what house to haunt.

"Okay..." Pinkie said as she checks through the ads. "Creaking hardwood floors, fog enshrouded breakfast nook...and a formal dying room." The pony smiles as, a while later, she finds herself looking at the same house that Pinkie was describing. "All right, perfect!"

Pinkie bounces happily as she goes over to the house of singing, "A haunting I will go, a haunting I will go, Hi ho the merry-o..." The pony goes into the house but stops and wipes her hooves on the mat. Just because she's dead temporarily, doesn't mean that she has to be dirty; Pinkie goes back inside. "A haunting I will go!"

"All right, good; Step two...Selecting a hauntee to scare."

For Pinkie to haunt someone, we will do this in a dating show style with three ponies in respective stools.

"Hauntee number one is a likable unicorn from Canterlot, a powerful mare with paranoid problems but likes to read. Please welcome Twilight Sparkle."

We see Twilight sitting on a stool. She admit, "I'm not a coward, but I'm also not stupid enough to NOT to be afraid."

"Hauntee number two is an Earth pony who likes to pull pranks but can also be scared too."

Pinkie's colt-friend Brian sits on a stool, saying a bit nervous, "I am a little scared too, honestly."

"And finally, the last hauntee is one hot-headed Pegasus pony who is one real crack-up!"

Rainbow rolls her eyes while snapping, "Yeah right. I am not scared of anything. I like to see anypony try to freak me out!"

Unknown to Rainbow, Pinkie, sitting on a stool but fail to do so, overheard her and smirks devilishly while saying, "Ooooh! I think I know who to pick on! And to think, I love to pull pranks on her even when I'm alive!"

"Hang on, what was your question again?"

"Relax, Miss Dash. Just go to the address that we give you, spend the night there and enjoy yourself. Now then..."

We see the next gravestone as the narrator explain the next step.

"Step Three...being very VERY creepy. Now then, nothing is way creepier than the creaky front door that opens itself as if by magic...but you get the idea."

"Sure do; okie dokie lokie!" Pinkie exclaims with glee. Time to scare Rainbow; The Earth pony hides behind the house door then crack her hooves somehow and spits into them. After rubbing the hooves, Pinkie goes over to the door as Rainbow's silhouette appears behind it outside, "All righty, here goes anything!"

Pinkie smiles as she turns the doorknob somehow and opens the door. Rainbow saw what happened but surprisingly isn't scared but looks amazed. She comments, "Man. Automatic doors. This house's coolness factor just went up twenty percent."

Rainbow flies into the house and heads upstairs to unpack her suitcase that she brought along. Pinkie looks puzzled. Why didn't her scare tactic work?

"Now then, having successfully freaked your intended hauntee out..."

"Uh, Mr. Narrator; Dashie wasn't scared by that." Pinkie points out to the narrator puzzled.

"Okay, okay, so maybe the first creepy thing doesn't always work for some new ghosts, bare with me! Now then..."

We see the next gravestone as the narrator explain the fourth step.

"Step Four...Looking Like a Ghost. Using an ordinary bed sheet carefully draped all over you, sneak about in a menacing matter."

Rainbow hums while unpacking her things to put into the dresser. Unknown to her, Pinkie opens the door, wearing a bed sheet on herself. Of course, the ghost has forgotten to put eyeholes in. So as Pinkie tries to sneak up behind Rainbow, she ran into a lamp and trips over the cord, getting tied up.

Pinkie yelps as she ran into a bookshelf, knocking it over and causing a bear statue to get stuck on her head. Ironically, during this whole silliness, Rainbow still didn't notice a thing.

"Right, now continue the macabre dance of the dead and watch as your victim got panic and terror all over herself."

As the narrator spoke, Rainbow finishes her packing and heads off to go to the bathroom. Pinkie climbs the cabinet...and fell out the window with the stuff with her. She fell onto a lawn chair with the bear statue landing on another one, the lamp lands between both and the two books lands on the bear statue and Pinkie as if they are reading them. As the Earth pony looks confused, the sheet fell onto her.

"Of course, this method of haunting can only work if one remembers to put the unique eyeholes into the sheet by cutting."

"Sorry, I was kinda in a hurry." Pinkie said to the narrator sheepishly.

"Pinkie Pie, even dead, you are random. Let's move on..."

We now see another tombstone.

"Step Five...the Dark. Every pony is scared of the dark so use this knowledge to your haunting advantage."

Rainbow hums as she was in the shower, taking a shower. Pinkie came in through the sink and eagerly turns the light switch off. That oughta scare her. Of course, Rainbow saw this and uses her hooves to clap the lights back on.

Pinkie frowns as she turns the nearby lamp off...only for Rainbow to use a flashlight and kept on cleaning herself. The new ghost frowns as she uses her hoof to turn the flashlight right off.

Regardless, Rainbow then put on a helmet with a light on top, turning it on and grooms herself. Pinkie growls as she turns the helmet off...only for her mare friend to light a candle nearby, still cleaning herself; Pinkie blows the candle out. Rainbow pulls out a match and held it somehow.

Pinkie put the match out but Rainbow bend a glow in the dark stick to make it bright. Once the Pegasus pony has cleaned herself off, she put it down and heads off.

Pinkie sighs as she takes the glow in the dark stick and throws it into the toilet. As she flushes the thing, the ghost comments, "Oh, this is getting silly now!"

"Right, right. Moving on!"

We now go to yet another gravestone that shows us the next step.

"Step six...Things That Go Bump

With her bath done, Rainbow got into bed and relax, opening a book as she got out, commentating, "Finally, some peace and quiet." The pony went quiet while she is reading.

"Now then, a ghost has a wide array of scary sounds to scare their unwitting victim with."

Pinkie smiled eagerly upon hearing this. Now she has to scare Rainbow! The pony flies over to her victim's bed and makes a lot of scary sounds, holding her head with one hoof, "Booooo!"

To her confusion, Rainbow didn't react to the voice. Pinkie didn't give up as she ran off and came back, dressing like Photo Finish's role as Jacob Marley in 'My Little Pony's Christmas Carol'. She marches on the Pegasus pony's bed while moaning.

Pinkie frowns, that didn't work yet so she tries with another idea. The pony begins to act like a zombie underwater, passing by Rainbow. Still no response; Pinkie tries making the sounds again by having her top half float in the air with the bottom disconnected and following behind.

Of course, Pinkie frowns as Rainbow is still not hearing her for some reason. The Earth pony tries her best, like hitting cymbals together, using accordions on her feet, blowing leaves with a leaf blower, walking a crying foal and driving a foal. But no matter what happens, nothing seems to faze the Pegasus pony.

Finally, Pinkie bounces over, sighing and wondering why her friend isn't reacting to any of the things happening in front of her, "Wow, Dashie is a good reader. But I don't get how..." The Earth pony saw what book that she's reading, "Huh; 'How to Sleep with your Eyes Wide Open?"

Rainbow blinks a bit and saw, to her surprise, that Rainbow is indeed sleeping with her eyes wide open with snoring sounds coming out of her.

"Well, what do you know? Didn't see that one coming; All right then, time for step seven..."

"Ugh! No! Sorry, Mr. Narrator but no more steps," Pinkie exclaims to the narrator in frustration. "It's becoming clear that Dashie can't be scared by anything! Being a ghost is boring now! Can I go back to life now?"

"Right, I guess I owe you that, nothing is working. Well, just wake up Rainbow Dash and we will get you back to normal."

Pinkie nods as she shakes Rainbow, calling, "Dashie, wake up, you silly filly! Wake up!"

Rainbow yawns as she woke up...then saw Pinkie, making her ask, "Huh?" Her eyes widened as she finally saw the ghost. "Yikes! A ghost! I'm no coward, but all the strength and fighting skill in Equestria doesn't do much good against an opponent you literally can't touch." The Pegasus pony quickly flew out of the room and head downstairs with a surprised Pinkie chasing her.

"Aww, you silly filly; I'm not going to hurt you. I was just trying to playfully scare you. You'll be completely all right."

"Don't give me that! I've heard WAY too many stories!"

Pinkie got to downstairs first as Rainbow goes through her. The new ghost frowns while saying, "When I get my hooves on those meanie-pants who write all those Pony Grimdark fics - they're in for one doozy of a lawsuit. I mean, look at the damage those fics do to our images and the images of our friends."

"I don't know what you're talking about, but I'm getting the hay out of here while the getting is good." Rainbow rush out and flies off without looking where she is going and ends up in a nasty storm that's happening right now, the sounds of lightning hitting and screaming in fatality is heard.

Rainbow came back into the house...now a ghost. The Pegasus pony frowns angrily at Pinkie, now Rainbow's dead!

"Oops, sorry Dashie, I guess I also should've told you that I am doing another How To sketch and I have to be a ghost to do it." Pinkie said sheepishly. "And well...I guess you're a ghost too."

"What?! Why you..." Rainbow growls as she prepares to hit Pinkie for getting her killed in the first place.

"Wait wait wait! This is only temporarily like the narrator said! We just need to end this cartoon and we can be back to life! Right, Mr. Narrator?"

"That's right. This is the perfect opportunity to demonstrate..."

We see the final gravestone in this story.

"How to End a Cartoon!"

We see Pinkie screaming as Rainbow was chasing after her furiously; both of them are going to the edge of a cliff.

"We begin the end by chasing one another into the distance...then falling off a cliff and scream in a comical kinda way."

Pinkie screams in a comical kinda way as she and Rainbow fell off the cliff even though they should've avoided it by flying…but I digress.

"And we end...with an iris out."

The cartoon then came to an end.

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Once the cartoon is done, the audience applauds, liking it as well as Pinkie, Fluttershy and the animals who clapped happily.

Author's Note:

That cartoon's done, whatcha think? In the next chapter, in a fanmake of the Lonesome Ghosts shorts, Twilight, Pinkie Pie and Rainbow deal with the three not-so-friendly ghosts Porko, Stringbean and Putrid along with their nephew's cousin Kooky (the first three was suggested to me by a pal of mine, the last one I made up that is based on Spooky). Read, review and suggest.

The Witches of the Volcano of Gloom came from My Little Pony: The Movie and the first series, along with the Smooze that was mentioned.

The story has references to the grimdark fics of My Little Pony.

Comments

[Toonwriter]

Funny ending to this cartoon, man! A Nightmare Night treat is gonna be playing next chapter!

[thunderpony]

That was funny.

[ShadowLDrago]

Pinkie bounces happily as she goes over to the house of singing, "A haunting I will go, a haunting I will go, Hi ho the merry-o..." The pony goes into the house but stops and wipes her hooves on the mat. Just because she's dead temporarily, doesn't mean that she has to be dirty; Pinkie goes back inside. "A haunting I will go!"

This always amuses me.

Rainbow yawns as she woke up...then saw Pinkie, making her ask, "Huh?" Her eyes widened as she finally saw the ghost. "Yikes! A ghost! I'm no coward, but all the strength and fighting skill in Equestria doesn't do much good against an opponent you literally can't touch." The Pegasus pony quickly flew out of the room and head downstairs with a surprised Pinkie chasing her.

Dash has a point.

Pinkie got to downstairs first as Rainbow goes through her. The new ghost frowns while saying, "When I get my hooves on those meanie-pants who write all those Pony Grimdark fics - they're in for one doozy of a lawsuit. I mean, look at the damage those fics do to our images and the images of our friends."

Tell me about it.

The Witches of the Volcano of Gloom came from My Little Pony: The Movie and the first series, along with the Smooze that was mentioned.

And unlike the one in But Keep Discord, THAT one was a real Eldritch Abomination. Even got it's own catchy villain song too.