Grown People Movie Scenes with Ponies in Them

by Pootie D. Trillist

Friday

Snips and Snails sit on Snails' front porch, smoking a blunt. Snails had never smoked before but earlier he had gotten a phone call from work, firing him for theft on his day off. Snails had always been an honest, hard working employee, but when faced with a Friday with no job and nothing to do, it was fairly easy for Snips to convince his friend into having a smoke session.

They sit on Snail's porch, staring across the street to watch Rarity's house. Spike leaves the house dressed up in a suit and tie for work while the white unicorn waters her flowers. "Good Celestia that Miss Rarity is so fine," Snips stares at her flank as she walks. "The things I would do to her."

"Hey boys," Rarity calls out across the street, her silk robe leaving nothing to the imagination.

"Hi Miss Rarity," they sheepishly call back.

"I wana fuck Miss Rarity," Snips says quietly after she turns her back to them.

A large, cockeyed mare is then seen walking up the street. "Quick its Derpy, hide anything valuable so she don't steal it," Snails quietly claims. He puts his chain, wallet, and house keys in a lock box and hides that under his chair. Derpy walks up to the pair. She is far bigger than they are, and one of the scariest ponies in their hood of Ponyville. As she walks up, Fluttershy, runs out of the house next door, spreading her wings and flying off before Derpy could have the opportunity to rob her. Fluttershy doesn't realize that she left a window open.

Derpy sees a window of opportunity and decides to force somepony else to do the dirty work, namely Snips. "Yo short pony, you help me rob dat bitch an I let ya keep full use o yer legs," Derpy says as she approaches Snips. Snips hesitates to respond. "What up pony, you deaf? Go rob dat bitch."

"Yyyyes mmmiss Derpy mam," Snips finally manages to stammer out. He runs into the house next door by climbing through the open window.

"An you skinny pony, you give me dat blunt!" Derpy snatches the remaining blunt out of Snails' mouth, inhaling the whole thing in one puff. Snails just glares at Derpy, if looks could kill Derpy would have died a long time ago.

Snips climbs back out of Fluttershy's house with a jar full of bit coins in tow. "Here's 500 bits she had layin around for her bills. Now will you please leave us alone." Snips hands over the jar without a moment's hesitation.

"Yeah, that works," Derpy says before walking away slowly.

"One of these days we are gonna kick the shit out of her," Snips says very quietly as Derpy leaves. He pulls out another blunt and lights it up.

Carmel the Preacher walks up the street, stares at Rarity for a moment, then makes his way over to where Snips and Snails are seated. "You know kids, at the Grand Temple of Lauren Faust we call drugs a sinny sin sin." Carmel sings out the last part with a well faked soulful passion.

"But round here between Mane Street and Crenshaw in Ponyville we call this a twiny twin twin………..ponaay!" Snails sings to match the Reverend's soulful jesture. Snips gives out a fake hallelujah.

The preacher laughs, "Yall know im jus buckin witcha, now how about a quarter sack fo my *coughs* glaucoma."

They all glance across the street to see Rarity watering her flowers, and shout a collective, "DAAAAAYUM!"

"Actually boys hold that thought," the preacher says as he begins to walk across the yard towards Rarity. "Oh Miss Rarity, have you heard the good word yet today?"

"You know if Spike catches him all hell is gonna break lose," Snips remarks.

"And if that happens, I want to have front row seats to that show," Snails laughs at his own remark as he and Snips exchange a brohoof.

"Celestia dammit! If it aint one thing it's a-motha-buckin-nother." Snips suddenly exclaims.

Big Macintosh rolls up in his car, a red convertible with gold rims, gold interior, hydrolics, and a license plate that just says THE MAC. "Snips!" he calls out to the shorter unicorn.

"Whats up Big Wack, I mean Big Mac," Snips jokes as he walks towards the car.

"Skip the small talk," Macintosh retorts. "How much of my product have you sold?"

"Not a lot Mac times are hard out here my pony," Snips says trying to extend a brohoof to Macintosh only to be denied. "I only have about half yo money."

Macintosh has a sour expression on his face as he addresses the less than worthy weed pony. "Now you know that shit aint acceptable. I also know you been smoking my weed Snips. If you fuck with my cash you fuck with my emotions; and if I get all emotional ponies get shot. Is that clear?"

"Yes Mac I completely understand." Snips lowers his hoof and turns to walk away when Snails jumps up and points across the street. Snips and Macintosh look across the street to see that Spike had just pulled up in his car, obviously forgetting something he needed for work. "You may want to stick around for a minute Mac, this is gonna be good."

Almost as if on cue, Spike opens his door and screams, "WHAT THE HELL!" He charges into the house and slams the door shut. Sounds of cursing and the smashing of plates and vases could be heard for miles. Snails walks into his house and walks back out with some popcorn, offering it to Snips and Macintosh.

"Aint dat a bitch," Snips remarks, "y'all got popcorn and no butter."

They continue listening to the pandemonium across the street. Smashing and screaming, while Rarity pleads with Spike to listen to reason. Carmel runs out of the house as fast as his legs can take him. His nose is bloody, his eye is blackened and swollen, and the remnants of a flower pot remain on his head, flower still in toe. Spike throws an empty liquor bottle at the preacher as he's leaving, and then turns around to a furious Rarity.

"How dare you treat another pony in such a vulgar manner you…." Rarity starts to say.

"Shut up bitch, I saw what the two of you were doing in there," Spike interrupted. "Next time I see you it's gonna be in court!"

Author's Note:

Derpbo, Bernie Mack Carmel, Big Macintosh with a perm, and weed; yeah I know you love this shit.