TCB: Yellowstone: The Series

by Anonsi

Episode 4: Dead Beat

Yellowstone:
The Series
By: Anonsi (It’s like he doesn’t know how to write!)

Episode: 4
Dead Beat

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For ages, Equestria has existed separate from the rest of the world, protected by a magical barrier that prevented it from being seen, touched, or reached by humans and their machines. But five years ago, the ponies of Equestria landed on the shores of human lands claiming to be there to save the earth and humanity from pollution, hate, and greed. To do this, the top human scientists and pony magicians created a potion to turn humans into ponies in places called, Conversion Bureaus. Within two years of its release, more than half the total human populace on Earth has converted. The balance of the world has been forever altered, as the remaining human nations form new governments for those humans that remain.

After foiling the attempts of both the HLF and PER in New Foalsome, the human agents under the command of Agent Hawk and the Elements of Harmony led by Twilight Sparkle are recuperating at the Manhattan Conversion Bureau. With the addition of the ‘Odin,’ a powerful aircraft that is mysteriously capable of teleportation, the two teams are now capable of battling the various monstrosities born of wild magic all over the world.
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“DJ Pon-3?” asked the delivery pegasus as he stuck his head into the sound room.

The white unicorn with spiky blue hair did not turn to face her new visitor. “Offstage you can just call me Vinyl Scratch bro, how can I help?” she replied, her head moving in rhythm with the music playing from her soundboard

The pegasus presented a large tan folder and a clipboard to the DJ, “This came in the mail for you, and I need your signature.”

The unicorn looked up from her soundboard and smiled, “Aw jamming! Must be some music for my world tour.” She levitated a pen from a nearby coffee mug and scribbled the letters “VS” on the delivery pony’s clipboard, “There’s your autograph hot stuff.”

The pony smiled weakly and handed the unicorn her package before making a quick exit. The folder definitely had a record in it, though it felt heavier than the unicorn was used to. Ignoring the issue, she surveyed the package and found no return address or any clue as to where the thing came from. Only a single line of instruction across the front, “Play at midnight.”

Vinyl cocked an eyebrow, “Weird. Must be from a fan.” Shaking her head, she magically removed the contents of the tan folder. It was an oddest looking record she’d ever seen. There were five gold lines criss-crossing over the disc forming star with no label at its center, and around the edges were weird looking runes. Shrugging, she hovered the record onto a nearby turntable and lifted a pair of earphones to her head, “Well let’s give it a spin.” The record began to play, and after a short time the unicorn smiled while bobbing her head to the beat. “Slammin’.”

***

Twilight was feeling rather well this evening. Not only had she gotten a good night’s sleep the previous night, but the news of her friends safe return put a little extra spring in her step. She was currently enjoying the rather comfortable couches of the communication lounge with her friends. She and the others were taking in Rarity’s, rather dramatic, retelling of the events that had occurred during the last mission.

"A giant spider?” asked Applejack from her spot on the carpet, “Gosh that sounds right awful.”

“Oh believe me Applejack, it was,” responded Rarity, who sat next to the orange pony, “But not nearly as awful as what I had to do to get all of its...innards...out of my mane.”

Rainbow Dash tried to stifle a laugh as she rolled over onto her back, but failed to do so in a subtle fashion. Through her snickering, she was able to say, “I’m sorry Rarity, but the thought of you covered in spider guts is pretty funny.” Soon the pegasus broke out into open laughter at the mental image of the dainty unicorn covered in a sticky ichor. The laughter proved contagious as it spread to each of six ponies.

The white unicorn stared daggers at the pegasus. “I assure you Rainbow Dash, that there is nothing 'funny' about my mane getting completely ruined!”

“I don’t know, I thought it was kinda funny,” came Hawk’s voice from the doorway. The ponies all turned to face the human and offered quick greetings as the man strode into the center of them.

“To what do we owe the pleasure of your presence Agent Hawk?” inquired Rarity, glad that the human had interrupted her friends’ laughter.

Dash flew to his eye level and excitedly asked, “Do we have another mission? ‘Cause I am ready as ever to get back out there and kick some flank!”

“Are we having a party?!” exclaimed Pinkie Pie as she placed her forelegs on the man’s waist.

Hawk put up his hands and backed up from the onslaught of ponies, “Whoa there! Slow down a bit and let me talk.” The ponies each took a seat in front of the human and exchanged small chortles and giggles as they waited for him to speak. “Thank you ladies. Anyway, no we don’t have a mission yet. What I came to tell you is that me and the rest of my team have gotten together and we think we have found a way to streamline things as far as who goes on missions.”

Twilight gave the man a hurt look, “You organized stuff without me?”

“Not my fault,” Hawk shot back quickly, “You were so deep into your research you didn’t even register me telling you about the meeting earlier.”

Twilight cocked an eyebrow and thought back to earlier that day. Three hours prior she had been reading a book about Fairies and Elves when someone had entered and spoke to her. Her memory was a bit foggy, but what she did remember was that whoever it was left her a daffodil sandwich and a cup of juice. ‘Hawk brought me a snack! How sweet,’ she thought as her cheeks began to blush ever so slightly. Her face went pale however, as a new thought crossed her mind, ‘And you just ignored him and ate his food without so much as saying thank you.’

“Twi? You okay?” asked Applejack, eyeing the unicorn who seemed to be losing a great deal of color from her face.

“Wha-?” started Twilight as she snapped back to reality.

“Yeah Twilight! You’re starting to look like Rarity!” added Pinkie Pie snorting on a laugh. “Oh could you imagine two Rarity’s? They could make dresses for each other and use each other as models and-”

"And one of us could go back to my boutique in Ponyville,” stated Rarity as she gave a small, wistful sigh.

There was a silence following the fashionista’s statement that hung in the air uncomfortably for a few seconds. Finally, Hawk clapped his hands together and said, “Well okey dokey, back to why I’m here. Me and the rest of my team have agreed that it would be best if one of us agents were assigned to each of you ponies, sort of like partners.”

“We each get a human?!” shouted Pinkie excitedly, “Ohboyohboyohboy!” The pink earth pony leapt onto the back of the couch and began singing, “My little human, my little human, la la la LAAAAA!” Twilight quickly summoned a muzzle over Pinkie’s mouth, reducing the eccentric pink pony’s song to nothing but a series of hums.

Giving a thankful smile to Twilight, Hawk went on, “Anyway, all that’s left before we make this list official is your yays or neighs.”

“Well get on with it!” called Dash, “I want to know who I’m teamed up with!”

Clearing his throat, Hawk began to read, “Right, so first we have Zorro and Rarity...”

Rarity allowed a smile to cross her face. “Thank Celestia, I get the one who knows how to treat a lady and behave in public! Not to mention groom himself...”

He ignored the offhand jab aimed at him and continued, “...Megan with Applejack and Rainbow Dash...”

Dash and Applejack exchanged pleased expressions before a competitive smile crossed their faces.

“...Dimitri with Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy...”

Pinkie made muffled shouts of joy as she bounded around the room, while Fluttershy gave a quiet little, “Whoo hoo.”

“...and finally, myself and Twilight as team leaders.”

Rarity, Applejack, and Rainbow Dash all exchanged subtle and knowing nods. Twilight however, furrowed her brow as she stated, “Wait a second Agent Hawk, I think you left someone off your list. What about Captain Barnes?”

The man gave her a flat look, “She said that she did not think any of you would want to be her partner, and promptly left the meeting to go do maintenance on the Odin.”

“Well that doesn’t make a single iota of sense,” said Rarity, “Any of us would simply love to be partnered with her.”

“Yeah!” exclaimed Fluttershy as she jumped to her hooves. When she noticed her outburst gained the attention of everyone in the room, she quickly lowered her head and quietly continued, “I-I mean...I wouldn’t mind being her partner. I know that I can be a bit of a hoof-full sometimes, and I don’t want to over burden Dimitri with both Pinkie and myself. I wouldn’t mind being partnered with Captain Barnes. If that’s alright with you I mean. ”

Hawk cocked a rather suspicious eyebrow, “I’ll ask her about it.”

As the man turned to leave, the incoming transmission alarm began to blare from the large television screen that covered the wall of the lounge. Swearing under his breath, Hawk rushed over to it and pressed a few buttons. He moved to stand in the center of the screen’s view, quickly joined by Twilight and the other ponies. The screen came to life with the glorious form of Princess Celestia standing in the center of the White House’s oval office.

“Hello my dear little ponies,” began Celestia as she gave a radiant smile, “and a fine hello to you as well Agent Hawk.”

Twilight and her friends all bowed their heads while Hawk simply tipped his hat. “G’morning Princess, might I ask where Joe is?”

The alicorn looked to the side a bit as she continued, “President Joseph is in the other room and will be along shortly.” A mischievous smirk crossed her divine features, “Of course I wanted to learn how to use this machine, so I decided to call you all and have a little chat before he gets here.” The godess’s gentle eyes looked at each of their faces, “So my little ones, how have you all been fairing? With Spike serving my sister instead of Twilight, I fear that I have been unable to keep up with you all as much as I’d like.”

Twilight leapt at the chance to speak first, “We’re all doing fine my Princess, Hawk and the other humans are keeping us all safe and sound. We’re all becoming really close.”

Celestia beamed at the news. “That is good to hear my student. I am glad you and your friends are getting along so well with your guardians. To be completely honest, I was becoming worried that you all would be uncomfortable living with human soldiers.” A quiet voice came from somewhere off screen to Celestia’s left that drew her gaze. Pouting slightly, she returned her soft eyes to Twilight and her friends. “Well I suppose we’ll have to talk later. President Joseph is ready to give you your assignment.”

The aged face of President Joseph moved into view of the screen. Hawk pulled himself away from the couch and stood, offering a salute to the commander and chief. Returning the salute lazily, the President said, “Hello there agents, I have some good news for those of you going on the mission today.”

Dash nudged Applejack, “Hear that? Now we’re ‘Agents!’ How cool is that?” The orange pony just rolled her eyes and gazed up at the human on the screen.

"What’s the news Joe?” asked Hawk putting his hands on his hips.

The President pressed a button from somewhere off screen that showed the overhead map of some city. “This is Paris, France. The site of your next mission.”

Rarity’s eyes grew wide as saucers.

“We detected a spike of magical energy in the city three hours ago, the odd thing was that the readings disappeared almost immediately. Princess Celestia believes these are signs of a recently awakened artifact.”

“Recently awakened?” inquired Twilight.

The President glanced at the Princess, who nodded for the President to continue. Sighing, Joseph said, “Celestia believes that someone tried to activate the artifact’s magic, but whoever it was didn’t meet the special requirements these things apparently have from time to time. As such, the artifact has ‘awoken’ and is now absorbing any ambient magic it can in order to feed itself until its requirements are met.

All we know right now is that the energy spike came from the night club ‘L'Insomnie,’ which also happens to be hosting an all night party. A party being DJ’d by one Vinyl Scratch, otherwise known as DJ PON-3.” A picture of a large and trendy night club with many neon lights adorning its entrance appeared on the screen, accompanied by a photograph of a white unicorn with spiky blue hair and very large sunglasses.

“EE noo er!” mumbled Pinkie Pie through her muzzle.

“Oh my goodness, Pinkie’s still muzzled!” Twilight flushed from embarrassment as she quickly undid her spell. “Sorry Pinkie.”

“Not a problem Twilight!” responded the pink pony pleasantly, “Wany-hoo, all I said was that we know Vinyl! She comes from Ponyville, just like us!”

“Then I guess getting into the club won’t be a problem,” continued Joseph, “because whatever this artifact is, it needs to be quarantined immediately. There’s no telling what mischief it could cause. As such, seeing as how we want the least amount of collateral damage,” he added with a stern glance to Hawk, “I am sending agents Megan and Zorro on this mission.”

Hawk placed his hands on his hips and grinned widely, “About time Zorro got off his duff.”

Joseph moved behind his desk in the oval office and glared daggers at the human agent, “And I do not want to hear from Megan or Zorro that you smuggled any high explosives into their supplies Agent Hawk.”

Hawk responded with a frown, “Well that’s just no fun at all Joe.” Upon seeing the President’s intensifying glare, the man rolled his eyes and huffed, “Aye aye sir. No high explosives.”

“Good luck Agents,” said the President as Celestia gave a quick wave of her hoof to Twilight. The screen blinked off and the six ponies instantly began talking amongst themselves.

Rarity was smiling from ear to ear and kept repeating, “I’m going to Paris!” as she galloped out of the room and down into the hallway. “I’M GOING TO PARIS!”

By the time the alabaster unicorn had gotten to the end of the hallway, Twilight, Hawk, Fluttershy, and Pinkie Pie had filtered out of the lounge and moved towards the lobby, while Applejack and Rainbow Dash were in the middle of a discussion.

"Ah’m tellin’ ya Rainbow, ah can’t go! Ah gotta help Fluttershy take care of her animals,” stated the farm pony with a sigh.

“Ugh, but Rarity will probably try and get us all to go shopping or something. I won’t have anypony to talk to!”

The orange pony placed a hoof on Dash’s shoulder and gave a comforting look, “Ya’ll have Megan won’t ‘cha? She’s a right fine person ta talk to. ‘Sides, you’ll be at a party! It’ll be full of fun stuff to do!”

“I do like fun stuff,” replied the blue pegasus as a confident smile spread across her face.

“There’s the Rainbow Dash ah know, now go on and show those ponies over there how us Equestrian fillies dance!” shouted Applejack.

“HELL YEAH!” Dash and Applejack bumped their front hooves together, and with an air of confidence the pegasus flew out the open window in a blur.

***

The streets of Paris gave a collective shout of surprise as a large boom echoed throughout the night sky. The Odin’s engines roared as the ship soared over the city in search of a place to land. Finding a suitable spot in the very large and exquisite garden outside the Louvre, the mighty ship touched down and its occupants disembarked.

Rarity was the first one out and her eyes went wide at the sight of the glimmering city. The sparkling lights of the buildings that danced over the surface of the river, the beautiful architecture of the ancient buildings, and the magnificent spire in the distance that rose above the streets and illuminated the sky caused the unicorn to become absolutely giddy.

Her heart was beating faster every passing second as her excitement built up more and more, “Oh Celestia, it’s more wonderful than I imagined it’d be! The brochures don’t do it justice at all!”

Zorro descended the platform after the unicorn, sporting his usual loose black shirt, black fencing gloves, form fitting black pants with stylish black boots, and an elegant sword at his hip. Following him was Megan, who had a large briefcase in one hand and an old Winchester repeater in the other. Next to the blond woman walked Rainbow Dash who stared around at the scenery with a bored expression.

“It doesn’t look so great to me,” said the pegasus flatly.

Zorro flashed Dash a quick smile, “Do not be so quick to judge pequeña, The City of Lights holds many exciting little nooks and crannies. You just need to know where to look.”

“Don’t you dare take them to one of your hangouts Z,” Megan chided as she strapped her Winchester into a holster on her back.

“One of the few times I am in Paris I am denied a little bit of romance. Truly you have a cruel heart,” the man pouted. Megan replied by gently punching him in the ribs as she walked over to Dash, who was yawning out her boredom.

“Hey there Rainbow,” said the woman kneeling down to match Dash’s eye level, “You ready for this?”

The pegasus’s expression brightened considerably, “Are you kiddin’? I was born ready! Just tell me what to do and The Dash will get it done in a flash!”

The humans and Rarity began snickering slightly, much to Dash’s confusion. “‘The Dash will get it done in a flash,’ huh?” quoted the woman.

Rainbow Dash sat on her haunches and glared at her companions, “Yeah, what about it? I thought if I was going to be a superhero, I might as well make up a catchphrase or something. I mean at least it’s original.”

"Sure thing sugar cube,” said Megan patting Dash on the head, “Well if ‘The Dash’ could do us the honor of getting to the club and letting them know we’re coming, maybe we can take out this artifact before it hurts anyone.”

“Right! I’ll be there in ten seconds flat!” shouted the pegasus as she leapt into the air and shot off like a bullet.

Rarity trotted over to the humans, “Not that I doubt Rainbow Dash’s speed or ability or anything, but does she even know where the club is?”

***

A roofless jeep carrying two humans and a white unicorn rolled down the street and parked outside the lively dance club. Ponies of every sort and color were lined up outside and awaiting entry to the trendy hot spot of night life. As the three exited the vehicle, they noticed a certain rainbow colored pegasus arguing with a the bouncer pony.

Rarity rolled her eyes and summoned a compact mirror with her horn. “Well it seems Dash is still a savant at making new friends,” she said dryly. Making some final adjustments to her main she dispelled the mirror and began walking towards the bouncer, “Come on darlings, let’s go introduce ourselves before Rainbow challenges the poor boy to a race.”

Megan and Zorro exchanged bemused glances as they followed the mare up to where Rainbow Dash and the bouncer were arguing. As they grew closer they could make out their yelling through the heavy beats of the music that came from within the club.

“-at are you even saying?! You’re a pony! Can’t you speak Equestrian?! Listen, I AM RAINBOW DASH. I am part of the ELITE EQUESTRIAN GUARD!” screamed the blue pegasus.

“Vous n'êtes pas sur la liste que vous stupide, sortir d'ici!” replied the bouncer.

She was rapidly losing her cool, “Did you just call me stupid?! OH IT IS ON! How about a race you piece of-”

“Rainbow Dash!” shouted Rarity.

The pegasus spun her head to face her friend, looking extremely frustrated. “Thank Celestia you’re here Rarity. This guy is talking smack and I don’t think I can hold back from giving him a buck to his face for much longer!”

Rarity sighed and shook her head, “My dear girl, gaining entry to a party that you weren’t invited to takes gentle persuasion, not brute force.” She gave a mischievous smirk to Dash as she passed her. Turning to the bouncer, the sultry unicorn gave the large brown stallion her best pout. “Please excuse my friend sir, I’m afraid she has terrible manners. I am Lady Rarity, and my companions and I really need to get into this fine establishment. I would just be ever so grateful if you let us pass.”

The bouncer blushed at the the elegant unicorn’s pleading eyes and sorrowfully pouting lip. He stepped aside and bowed his head, “Soyez mon invité madame.”

Rarity gave a dainty bow of her head to the bouncer and entered the building, followed closely by Rainbow Dash, who made sure to stick her tongue out at him as she passed.

As Megan and Zorro moved to enter, the bouncer blocked their path with a hoof saying, “Excusez-moi Monsieur et Mademoiselle, mais vous n'êtes pas autorisé à apporter des armes ici. Ou n'importe où je pense.” He glanced between the two of them, worry beginning to enter his features.

“Nous sommes sur une mission de sécurité nationale. Restez en dehors de notre chemin,” replied Megan as she moved past the bouncer.

Zorro followed behind her and offered a shrug to the guard, “She certainly has a way with words doesn’t she?”

***

The interior of the the club was beyond loud. The pounding techno beats reverberated in the bodies of everyone present, and the bright neon lights and assorted glow sticks of the party goers were a stark contrast to the otherwise dark atmosphere. The dancing forms of ponies in various rave attire covered the dance floor and surrounded the DJ booth, which sat at the center of the multicolored mob. It was not unlike a gazebo adorned with long glowing rods, and inside the metallic structure sat a white unicorn with large purple glasses and a frizzled blue mane. Rarity, Zorro, Rainbow Dash, and Megan all stood on the balcony overlooking the dance floor, the weapons of the humans acting as an effective deterrent for curious ponies and giving the group the space they needed to think.

Dash nudged Megan’s leg with a wing and shouted over the music, “What do we do now? That artifact could be anything in here right?”

“Yup,” replied the woman.

“So how the hay do we find it?!”

Megan calmly looked at the pegasus and replied “I have no idea sugar cube.”

Dash gave a frustrated groan as she turned to the other human, “How about you sword guy, you got any ideas?”

Zorro broke his eyes away from the dancing mass beneath him and regarded her with a thoughtful look before saying, “Unless Lady Rarity can detect other sources of magic, then no I do not.”

Their eyes looked at the unicorn who gazed right back at them slightly annoyed, “Don’t look at me! I only know spells that help with finding gems, sewing, and healing. I am sure that the last thing we need right now is for me to whip up a new gown, or change the color of your manes! Twilight is the one for whatever stunning, ‘save the day,’ spell you want.”

Megan’s face flashed with inspiration. “Actually Rarity, a change in hair color may be just what we need.”

Rarity gave a confused look, “Oh darling why? You mane color is beautiful as it is.”

The woman plucked four blond hairs from her head and held them out to Rarity, “Do you think you could make these glow?”

“Well,” the unicorn glanced at the woman’s eager face and the four hairs she was holding and took a gulp, “given the lighting...yes I suppose I could darling, but I still don’t see where you’re going with this.”

Closing her eyes, Rarity scrunched up her face in concentration as her horn glowed with a small dazzling spark. Four small rays of light shot out from the tip of her horn and began moving along the hairs in the woman’s hand, the strands changing from blond to a luminescent white as the rays moved along their length. The spell ended as the rays reached the end of the hairs, causing Rarity to gasp as if she had been holding her breath.

“There you are darling, four lovely white hairs that glow. Now if you don’t mind me asking, why did you have me perform this little service?”

“You’re about to find out,” said Megan as she held one strand of the enchanted hair over the edge of the balcony. A wide smile spread across her face as the far end of the hair was pulled on by some invisible force towards some spot in the churning crowd.

“Okay, why is it doing that?” asked Dash bluntly.

Megan gave a hair to each of her companions, “This artifact absorbs faint or weak magical energy so I thought that if we put a small enchantment on something lighter than a feather, the pull on the magic from the artifact would tug on the hairs...”

“…and give us a compass that points towards what we are looking for,” finished Zorro as his own smile began to mirror Megan’s, “You clever girl.”

Dash pumped a hoof into the air “Aw yeah! Now we’re in business!”

The music suddenly stopped and the room went unnaturally quite as a smooth voice blared through the speakers, “THIS IS DJ PON-3 WITH YOU AS WE CONTINUE OUR EUROBEAT TOUR’S COUNTDOWN TO MIDNIGHT RIGHT HERE IN PARIS! ONLY TEN MINUTES UNTIL THE HOUR AND THE MOMENT WHERE I HIT YA’LL WITH THE BRAND NEW JAM THAT’S GUARANTEED TO KNOCK YOU DEAD!” The crowd cheered, stomped, and began dancing all the harder at the news.

Zorro sighed, “Why is it there is always a time limit to these sort of things?”

“Time limit, shlime limit!” said Rainbow pounding a hoof to her chest, “I’ll find that crummy old artifact before you know it, and then we can all go party!”

“Sounds like a plan to me sugar cube!” added Megan as she moved towards the stairs. “Okay ladies, let’s start at the outside and work our way in, let’s go!”

Zorro took a long look at the enchanted and shimmering hair in his hand before Rarity poked his leg with her hoof and looked at him with a smirk. “Is that the hair of your fair damsel Mr. Zorro?” she asked coyly while also giving a slight flutter of her eyelashes.

The man clenched his hand into a fist around the hair and smiled back down at the unicorn, “No time for sad stories niña, there is a party to crash.”

***

“Come on, where are you?” grumbled Rainbow Dash as she hovered above the crowd.

It was hard enough getting a reading with all the other pegasi asking her to dance and ‘accidentally’ bumping into her, but the fact that she had to scan the crowd slowly was making this an agonizing process. Any sudden movements would cause the hair to shake and wobble, and it would take a few seconds before it would right itself. That and she had to avoid standing to close to an air conditioning vent or else the breeze would ruin everything.

She gave a frustrated huff and looked around for the others hoping to get some bearing on what she should do. The humans were easy enough to spot, as they towered over the only pony crowd. No doubt their search was going better than Dash’s, probably because the party goers were giving them plenty of space to do their thing. Rarity wasn’t that hard to find either, she was the mare that was surrounded by all the drooling stallions. Dash rolled her eyes and flew towards the DJ’s booth at the center of the dance floor, forgoing the search for a small break and to catch up with a familiar face.

As she was making her way there, Vinyl Scratch leaned over to the microphone and declared, “ONE MINUTE TO MIDNIGHT! HOLD ONTO YOUR FLANKS BRONIES ‘CAUSE THINGS ARE GONNA GET WILD!”

The pegasus had to shake her head for a second or two to stop the ringing in her ears, “Note to self: don’t hover next to speakers during a rave.” Recomposing herself, she flew down next to Vinyl in the surprisingly large DJ booth. The unicorn DJ apparently didn’t notice her touch down, so Dash decided it would be polite to get her attention, “Hey Vinyl! What’s up?”

Vinyl Scratch jumped at the sudden greeting and spun on her heels to face her surprise visitor. “WHOA WHOA WHOA! Personal boundaries there lady! This here is a private box, ex-nay on the ans f-ay, and that means you gotta boogie on outta here pronto!”

Dash gave Vinyl a flat look as she replied, “Vinyl, it’s me. Rainbow Dash? We knew each other back in Ponyville?”

The unicorn stayed silent for a moment as the pieces clicked into place. “Oh snap! I thought you looked familiar! I’m sorry I didn’t recognize you dude, it’s been a while since we last hung out. Anyway, how’re things jammin’ my radically rainbow friend?”

“Well,” said the pegasus as she leaned in close to Vinyl, casting quick glances around the room while a boastful smile spread over her face, “I’m on a mission from Princess Celestia herself!”

Scratch gasped in shock, “What? How did you end up working for the Princess? Last I heard about ‘The Best Flier in Equestria,’ was that she was teaching new-foals how to fly and pushing pencils.”

“Nah, that was just a cover,” Dash lied, “Me and my friends have been doing stuff for the Princess since we got to human lands.”

“Really?” asked Vinyl excitedly, “What kind of stuff?”

Dash soaked up the attention like a sponge, “Oh you know, secret agent spy stuff. Totally classified. I’d have to wipe your memory if you ever found out.”

The DJ just smiled and began nodding, “Slammin.” There was a deep boom from the speakers which caused both mares to jump. “Aw hay bales! Is it midnight already? Just a sec Dash, I gotta do this.” Vinyl levitated an odd looking record out from a nearby egg crate and proceeded to place it on her record player. She then hovered her microphone over to her mouth and called, “ALL RIGHT COLTS AND FILLIES, THIS IS DJ PON-3 SAYIN’ THAT IT. IS. MIDNIGHT!”

The crowd erupted into cheers and stomped their hooves in anticipation for what they knew was coming.

“YEAH LET ME HEAR IT BRONIES! I KNOW YOU’VE BEEN WAITING ALL NIGHT TO HEAR THIS, AND LET ME TELL YA GUYS, IT WAS WORTH THE WAIT!” The crowd’s cheering grew louder than before, and the building shook from their applause.

Dash felt a slight tug from the enchanted hair. Her brow furrowed as she saw it was pointing towards Vinyl.

“NOW WITHOUT FURTHER ADIUE, I GIVE YOU THE RECORD WITH NO NAME!”

She double checked. It wasn’t pointing at Vinyl, but instead at her side. At the record. Dash looked up in terror as the vinyl disc began to spin unable to say anything other than, “Aw shit.”

***

The record began spinning faster and faster, and with each passing second seemed to give off an ever intensifying green glow while a chilled breeze blew out from it. Megan, Zorro, and Rarity each converged on the DJ booth to see Rainbow Dash pushing Vinyl out of it with her head. The mob looked on in awe as the glow from the record became brighter and more vibrant, and some even began to cheer at the new spectacle.

“Dash!” called Megan as she ran up to the pegasus, “Are you okay?!”

Rainbow Dash looked at the woman’s worried face and was able to give her a smile as she said, “Don’t worry about me, I’m fine.” She looked back to the DJ’s booth with a serious expression, “I’d be worrying about that.”

Green arcs of lightning began crackling through the air from the artifact and down into the earth. The crowd of party goers began screaming as bolts of the unnatural lightning began shooting into the mass of ponies. The panicked mob began making for every exit they saw in every way they could, nearly trampling several ponies in the process. Arcs of magical lightning continued to spring out of the artifact and showed no sign of stopping as the cold wind grew stronger.

The dance floor was now more akin to a storm than what it used to be. Miraculously, it appeared all the party goers had been able to escape to the upper levels unharmed, a small handful even remaining on the balcony to watch the events that were unfolding before them with awe.

“Now what?” asked Rarity as she braced herself against the increasing buffets of wind.

“The record is the artifact!” Dash called over the howling air, “Maybe if we blow it up, things will go back to normal!” The pegasus looked at the humans expectantly, and upon seeing exchange worried glances asked, “Well?”

"‘Well’ what?” replied Megan.

Dash rolled her eyes, “What do you think I meant when I said blow it up? Didn’t you bring any bombs or anything?”

Megan shrugged and gave the pegasus an apologetic look, “Sorry, but Joe said no high explosives, and I don’t think Hawk smuggled any C4 into our supplies this time!”

“Not true!” called Zorro producing a small cube of the explosive putty. “It is not much, but it should get the job done!”

Megan looked at the small piece of C4 with a stunned expression, which was quickly replaced with a bemused smile. “He is going to get into soooo much trouble when we get home.”

Zorro gave a hearty laugh and replied, “Not if Joe doesn’t find out!” With one fluid motion he placed a detonation pin into the putty and gripped it tightly.

Dash pumped a hoof into the air and shouted, “That’s what I’m talking about! Now let’s get tha-OH HORSE APPLES!” The pegasus found herself being lifted off the floor by the strong gusts of wind. “HELP!” she cried out as she began flailing with her legs.

“I got ya!” Megan jumped for the blue pegasus and wrapped her arms around Dash as they both sailed a few feet through the air and tumbled to the ground. Cradling the flustered pony in her arms, Megan made sure they were both on the ground before calling out, “Zorro, Rarity! Blow that booth sky high while I get the DJ to a safe distance!”

Zorro nodded as he began to carefully trudge through the screaming winds towards the DJ’s booth, Rarity following close next to him. “I really wish this wind would stop! The windswept look is out of style this month!” Rarity cried over the screaming storm.

The hurricane that was the dance floor suddenly and abruptly stopped as the last arc of magical lightning sank into the dance floor. Vinyl Scratch, who had been clinging to the hand-rails of the DJ booth’s steps for dear life, adjusted her large purple glasses as she gazed around the vacant dance floor. “Do your wishes get answered often?”

The glamorous unicorn smiled at the DJ as she approached her, “If they did, I’d be in my boutique with a handsome red stallion keeping me company.”

Vinyl let go of the hand rail and began let go a chortle, “Sounds better than hanging around here, and if it’s all the same to you peeps, I’m going to bounce out of here before that thing starts shooting lightning everywhere again.”

Megan released her hold on Rainbow Dash and gestured towards the balcony and the small crowd of onlookers, “Could you take them with you?”

The DJ gave a resolute nod and galloped towards the stairs shouting, “Hey all you ponies up there, time to book it!”

Soon, both the DJ and the crowd of ponies had left the building, as the human agents and remaining two ponies gathered around the DJ’s booth. “Is that it then?” asked Zorro as he produced the small cube of C4, “Just a lot of lightning?”

The earth started to shake.

“You just had to say something,” Megan said flatly.

Giving an apologetic grin to the woman and rushed to the the stairs of the DJ’s booth, but tripped as a skeletal hand exploded from the ground and gripped his ankle, sending the cube of C4 tumbling a short distance away. All over the dance floor, more bony hands burst through the glass floor.

“What the hay is going on?!” shouted Dash as bony claws erupted from the ground near her. Instinctively she flew into the air and over to where Rarity was cowering from the dirty hands that grasped at her.

Megan ran through the field of emerging skeletal hands and arms towards the DJ booth calling, “If I had to guess I would say the artifact animated a helluva lot of skeletons!” Once the woman arrived at the side of the booth, she wrenched one of the over-sized glow sticks that were strapped to its side. “Zorro, you might want to switch from something slashy to something a tad more smashy!” she called as she held the glow stick above her head.

The man kicked the hand that gripped his leg and easily shattered the brittle and aged bone. “Tenía que ser esqueletos!” he shouted as he got to his feet and ran for the cube of C4, “Ladies now would be a good time to get close to us! Things are about to get very interesting around here soon!”

“Interesting?!” screamed Rarity as she charged through the small field of grasping hands, arriving next to Megan with not a single hair out of place. Her expression was a mix of anger and panic as she looked over to Zorro and shouted, “Are you sure you don’t mean horrifying? I know how you humans tend to confuse dying with fun so I just want to make sure!”

Dash landed next to the glamorous unicorn and gave her friend a small pat on the back with her wing, “Come on Rarity, we’re about to fight skeletons in a rave party with glow sticks! How can this not be fun?”

The unicorn harrumphed as she magically tore a glow stick of her own off the booth, “I can think of a dozen ways darling, and half of them involve my mane being ruined.”

More of the skeletal bodies were emerging from the ground as the undead monstrosities pulled themselves out of their long buried graves.

Zorro moved next to Dash with the cube of C4 in one hand and a long glow stick in the other. “Dash,” he said outstretching a hand to the pegasus, “ if you could please place this on the artifact?”

“Right!” replied the pegasus eagerly as she took the small putty cube in her mouth. She lifted off and hovered into the DJ booth where the artifact now lay dormant.

Most of the skeletons had fully emerged from the depths and glared at the only living things in the room with sinister green flames where their eyes should have been. The hoard of undead completely surrounded the team and now were advancing on them menacingly.

“Oh and one other thing,” called the man to the pegasus, “while you’re up there, could you put on a beat we could dance to?”

“I’ll see what I can do,” she replied, squishing the small cube onto the demonic looking record. Dash looked over the sound board and found the ‘Play’ button. “Aha! Here it is!” she said to herself as she pushed it. The small LED screen sparked to life and displayed, ‘NACP - HydraPulse - 2:56. PLAY >’

Heavy beats accompanied by synthesized tunes began playing in the speakers.The skeletons stopped in their tracks and looked at each other, most of them eventually shrugging and deciding now was as good as any to charge with a bone chilling scream.

***

The skeletons’ initial charge broke extremely quickly.

Megan was the first to answer their charge with one of her own and was able to cleave through six of the undead horrors with one swing of her impromptu club, turning those she struck into dust and bits of ancient bone. Moving quickly, she then gripped one of the bony adversaries by its ribcage and hurled it at a thick portion of the army of the dead and sent them all tumbling to the ground. She spun on her heels and brought her glowing weapon down onto the skull of another enemy, bisecting the skeleton and reducing it to a pile of dust.

Rarity and Zorro looked on in shock and awe respectively. “Me encanta esa mujer,” said the man wistfully before a skeletal fist socked him in his jaw.

Zorro recovered quickly and brought his own glowing weapon to the side of the attacking skeleton’s head, shattering the skull completely and dropping the animated corpse instantly. Two more undead charged towards him with raised fists, obviously intent on beating him to death. The man smirked as he jabbed the glow stick into the rightmost skeleton’s ribcage. With some effort, he flung that skeleton into the other and sent them both into a tangled mess of bones and dust.

“HEY!” called Rainbow Dash from the booth, “I set the thing! What do I do now?”

“Get to the balcony!” Megan called back as she pulled a skull from its owner’s neck, “It’s the minimum safe distance!” Behind the woman, a skeleton had picked up a glow stick of its own and struck Megan in the side of the head.

“Ow,” uttered the woman as the glowing rod bounced off of her head harmlessly. She turned to face the skeletal attacker, who glanced between the angered human and the glow stick it held.

Megan could have sworn that it let out a disappointed sigh as she smashed it to pieces.

Near the DJ booth, Rarity smacked away a skeleton’s grasping arm before lowering and hovered her glow stick in front of her in a standing position. “I’ll make a path!” she shouted as the stick began to spin, “stay close behind me!” The unicorn charged the throng of undead with an impromptu glowing lawnmower.

The shattered bones and dust of those skeletons that could not get out of the way were sent flying everywhere. After bashing their way through more of the undead, the human agents quickly moved into the wake she left behind, smashing any skeletons that tried to block their path.

Dash had already flown up to the balcony, and was bucking any of the undead that tried to ascend the staircase. Several skeletons on the steps noted the bones of one of their fellow undead tumbling over the side of the balcony, and after a brief glance to one another, nodded their agreement. leaping off the staircase and to the side, two of them meshed their hands together and gestured for the other to go. The third skeleton ran at the other two placing a foot into their hands and was instantly spring boarded up and over the balcony’s rails. The skeletons doing the spring board nodded to each other and began gesturing for other skeletons to be launched.

The skeleton that had been vaulted moved quickly towards Rainbow Dash, who was doing all she could to stop the other undead from climbing the steps, and punted her away from the staircase. The pegasus hit the floor with a soft thud, the carpet doing little to soften the impact. Soon the balcony was flooded with the skeletal remains, who all stared at the pegasus like wolves would stare at a wounded lamb.

Dash rose to her feet and flared out her wings, glaring at the fiend that had kicked her. “You did not just punt the Dash!” she bellowed at the crowd of shambling bones, “NOPONY PUNTS THE DASH!” Giving a hearty war cry, the young mare closed her eyes and charged forward into the throng of skeletons.

She was surprised when, instead of running into a mass of bone, she collided with something soft. She opened her eyes to the smiling face of Megan as the woman’s arms wrapped around her and into a soft, warm, hug. “How ya doing sugar cube?”

The pegasus’s wings began to extend involuntarily as her face grew a few shades more red. “You smell like Applejack,” Dash blurted out.

“What?” asked Megan as she reeled her head back, her smile vanishing almost completely.

Dash just stared dumbly into the woman’s blue eyes for a brief moment before her mind caught up with her. She shook her head madly and attempted to change subjects, “I-I mean...uhh...Hey Megan! How’re things, with the skeletons and the surviving?” Looking around, the pegasus saw the remains of her attackers scattered around the floor and gazed at the woman in amazement, “Did you take out all these bone brains?”

With one last an amused look towards the pegasus, Megan stood up and glanced around at the dusty bones that now carpeted the balcony before replying, “Yeah. Turns out being buried for hundreds of years makes these things really fragile. I was a bit worried a first, but these guys are total push overs.”

“Where are Rarity and Zorro?” Dash asked as she surveyed the carnage, “Shouldn’t they be with you?”

The woman responded by pointing over her shoulder, “Oh they’re keeping busy.”

Looking beyond the woman, Dash saw Rarity batting away any skeletons that were attempting to climb the staircase while Zorro destroyed any that were being vaulted over the balcony’s guard rail. Together, they both seemed to have the situation well under control with Rarity showing only small signs of exhaustion.

The man Zorro on the other hand, was not even breaking a sweat as he swatted away arms, skulls, legs, and even entire skeletons as they flew over the balcony. As he decapitated another undead attacker with a wide swing, he called out to the hoard, “Come now amigos, surely you can do better! I am getting bored!”

Megan rolled her eyes, “Zorro, push the button!”

“But Megan, I’ve not even begun to have fun yet!” replied the man with a pout.

“JUST PUSH THE DAMN BUTTON ALREADY!” screamed Rarity, eying the man with a glare that could kill if it wanted to.

Zorro shrunk back and produced the trigger for the explosive from his pocket and pressed it with a satisfying ‘click.’

The resulting boom rang in the ears of everyone who still had ears, and bits of shrapnel and bone flew about the once lively dance floor. A shock wave of green energy erupted from the shattered artifact which washed over the entire club and beyond. As the wave of energy passed over the undead, whatever magic was holding the army of skeletons together left them and they all fell to inanimate pieces.

As the dust settled, the four agents surveyed the damage. Rarity looked at the others and smiled, “Well now that we have gotten that out of the way, and seeing as how we are in Paris, how about a little shopping? Maybe a trip to the local spa? I’m sure there will be one open, even at this hour!”

Dash immediately responded, “I’m out!” and flew out the front door and into the flashing lights of the police.

“ATTENTION AMERICANS, DO NOT MOVE! YOU ARE UNDER ARREST UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE! COME WITH US QUIETLY TO THE STATION WHERE YOU WILL BE PROCESSED!”

Megan and Zorro ran out followed closely by Rarity, who squinted into the bright police lights. The woman gave a quick look over the all pony police force and sighed, “Looks like we’ll have to take a rain check on that shopping Rarity. Sorry.”

The unicorn glared up at the woman, “You can bet you flank on it. As soon as this is cleared up, Zorro is going to take me on a grand tour of Paris.”

Megan cast an odd look at the swordsman. He shrugged, saying, “You know me Megan, I cannot resist a lady who asks my help in having a, pleasurable time.”

The woman put her hand to her face and groaned loudly.

The End of Episode 4
Took forever and probably sucks.
This must be what it feels like to work in video games.
Heeeeyooo!
But seriously, I really hope the next one is better
Episode 5 here we come!

Comments

Woah epic!! (So it looks like the good guys aren't the only ones who know that magic is running rampant.) now the questionm remains as to who send it.

[PrinceLexmarkThePrinted]

This is REALLY, REALLY good. Nice Vinyl-Cameo, though I would have wished for a little jab at the Octavia-Vinyl-pairing so popular among the fanom.

As for the actual writing and story:
Really, really good and I did not find a single error in my first read. Plus, the background-music made the battle in the club the undeniably coolest thing to ever be written about punching skeletons. That, and the glowsticks.

Keep up the good work!

I eagerly await more!

[Meta Knight]

that was interesting

Wow, this makes me sick...
...
...
Sick of waiting for more!! Damn, those are some nice fics.
By the way, from what other fic did you get the idea?

[StatusQo]

'The pegasus’s wings began to extend involuntarily' RD had a wing boner LOL

[MariusIoannesP]

Lot of shout outs to the fandom in this one! Vinyl Scrath, calling out to Bronies, and Rainbow Dash's "wings began to extend involuntarily as her face grew a few shades more red". You should shout out the fandom more often. I appreciate it.