Hearts and Hooves Day Hurts

by totallynotabrony

Chapter 2

Big Macintosh stared at Cheerilee for a few seconds. “Have I met you before?”

Hesitantly, Cheerilee took a few steps forward. “It’s been a long while.”

Realization began to dawn on Big Macintosh’s face. “Miss Cheerilee?”

The mare managed to force down her surprise and nervousness. “After all this time, we’re certainly both adults. I think you can just call me Cheerilee.”

It was a rather weak joke, but to her surprise, Big Macintosh did chuckle. Cheerilee joined him for a moment, much preferring humor over awkwardness. However... “But in all seriousness, how are you still alive?”

In response to her question, Big Macintosh shuffled his hooves nervously and looked away. “Well... I ain’t exactly normal. I could ask you about the same thing.”

Cheerilee smiled demurely, her previous nerves all but gone in the familiarity of talking to an old friend. Big Macintosh’s country accent was refreshing after dealing with so many snooty high-class ponies over the years. He was a stallion from another time, when things were simpler. Cheerilee hadn’t thought about her younger years in decades.

“I asked first.” Cheerilee didn’t mean to be standoffish, and gave Big Mac a grin to show her good natured jest.

Big Mac’s stoic expression finally cracked, a small smile replacing it. “I suppose you did at that.” Turning more serious, he went on. “Back when we both were still living here in Ponyville - maybe one ninety or two hundred years ago? - something happened to me. I ain’t gonna sugarcoat it. A wolf bit me. I... changed after that, in a few major ways. Just one of the side effects bein’ that I haven’t aged a day since.”

Cheerilee frowned. Not only was it one of the longest run of sentences she’d ever heard Big Mac put together, but lycanthropy was very rare, to the point that she’d only encountered affected ponies once or twice before.

Nodding, Cheerilee accepted his answer. “As for myself, I was put in a similar situation. I was bitten as well, not by a werewolf, but by a vampire.”

Big Mac swallowed hard, looking uncomfortable. He forged ahead with the conversation, however. “Would you like to go somewhere to talk?”

Cheerilee smiled warmly. “I’d like that.”

Big Mac nodded for Cheerilee to follow him, and led her to the exit of the parking garage. He stopped just before stepping outside, however, looking askance at Cheerilee with something clearly on his mind. Cheerilee noticed him glance out into the bright spring sunlight, then back to her, back and forth a few times, quickly realizing what he was thinking.

“Uh... you don’t... y’know,” the stallion muttered uncertainly.

Cheerilee sighed, only barely resisting the urge to introduce her forehoof to her face. “No, Big Macintosh, I don’t burn up in the sunlight. This isn’t some cheesy vampire novel.”

Big Mac tried, and failed, to seem casual in showing his relief as he smiled sheepishly in response. “Just makin’ sure.”

With that, Big Mac once more took the lead. A few ponies looked their way as they walked through the streets of Ponyville, some of the single stallions appearing especially interested in Cheerilee. She averted her eyes, instead looking around the city. She was struck again by how much it had changed.

“Is everypony actin’... a little strange?” Big Mac asked. He’d been spotted by a few single mares, and the attention they were paying to him was fairly obvious, to say the least.

Speaking of which, Big Mac didn’t seem affected at all. Cheerilee considered that for a moment, trying to decide what she should tell him. The thick crowd of ponies around them gave her a bit of time to decide. Whatever she said to Big Mac, it would have to be once they weren’t surrounded by hundreds of listening ears.

“You could say that, yes,” she carefully replied to his question. “Listen, I can explain more once we’ve arrived at wherever it is you’re taking us.”

“I was goin’ to a coffee shop to meet a neighbor and plan for the summer haymaking. He hasn’t been returnin’ my calls, though. Dunno if he’ll show up.” Big Mac shrugged and continued wading through the crowd with Cheerilee in tow.

Cheerilee sighed in exasperation as another pony jostled against her in the menagerie of lovestruck residents of the city. “Are we there yet?”

Big Mac chuckled. “You know just as well as I do that the answer to that question is just about always ‘no’.” He only smiled at the glare Cheerilee gave him, stopping in the street and gesturing with a forehoof. “This time, it’s actually ‘yes’.”

Cheerilee looked where Big Mac was pointing, spotting a hip, social coffee place on the corner. It was so strange to see in what was once her tiny hometown, but apparently the mom-and-pop places were getting harder to find. A shame, really, even if Cheerilee’s vampire digestion couldn’t handle coffee.

In appearance, the coffee shop matched any of the thousands just like it in the chain that spread all across Equestria. It was almost perfectly cube-shaped, two stories tall, and meticulously maintained to meet the standards of a stringent corporation. Everything was hard angles, straight lines, and complementary colours. It was simple, elegant, and so trendy that it hurt. In a word, boring. If that made Cheerilee a hipster for being around before fashionable coffee places, so be it.

Big Mac seemed to share some of her attitude as he pushed open the door and escorted her in. There were luckily only a few customers, all of them sitting with their special someponies. The barista was distracted, and Big Mac had to plunk his heavy hooves down on the counter before getting noticed.

“One black coffee,” Big Mac said.

“No, that’s not a good idea.” Cheerilee gave him a look. “Just get a muffin or something. No drinks.”

There was confusion on Big Mac’s face, but he dutifully paid for an apple bran muffin. Carrying the pastry to an isolated table in the back, the two of them sat down. Cheerilee leaned close to him, speaking barely above a whisper. “I think there’s something in the water around here that is causing the whole town to act strangely.”

“On the farm, I get my water from a well.” Big Mac shrugged. “If I would even be affected, what with the… eh, immortality and all.”

“It does have some advantages, doesn’t it?” Cheerilee mused.

Big Mac went silent, breaking eye contact with Cheerilee and staring down at the untouched muffin before him. His mouth was set in a thin line, his expression unreadable even with Cheerilee’s two centuries of experience in catching subtle expressions. That thought gave Cheerilee pause. She realized that as much as she had unlimited time to practice reading the emotions of other ponies, Big Mac had the same time to perfect hiding his own.

The silence stretched on for far too long, Cheerilee resisting the urge to sheepishly rub at the back of her neck with a forehoof. Just when she was beginning to think that she’d totally derailed any chance of conversation with what was, to her, a perfectly innocent question, Mac finally spoke up.

“So what makes you think it’s the water?” His tone betrayed less about his feelings that his face had, but he did finally look Cheerilee in the eye. She still couldn’t read him.

Cheerilee suppressed a sigh, going along with the change in topic. “I was sent here to find out what is going on around this town. Something is causing all these ponies to lose their minds in love, something everypony has access to. Water seems like the most likely option.”

Mac nodded. “And when you say you were ‘sent’...” He trailed off, leaving the question unasked, but making it clear nonetheless.

“I’m not doing this by myself,” Cheerilee allowed. “You might say that I have a rather well-placed sponsor. She’s right at the top of the government, in fact.

“Uh huh.” Mac paused, and then picked up the muffin for a bite in the manner of somepony settling down to hear a tale.

“Yes, this really is what I’ve been doing with my life all these years.” Cheerilee sighed.

“Sounds interestin’.” Mac shrugged.

Cheerilee raised an eyebrow. “Never a dull moment, I suppose. This is actually a rather sedate problem I’ve been assigned to. Most situations I’m put in are quick to escalate, because it turns out I’m rather effective at handling things like that.”

Mac said nothing but his expression was curious for more. Cheerilee paused for a moment and hesitantly added, “I’ve done a lot of things that aren’t exactly wholesome.”

“You talk like everypony doesn’t have regrets,” Mac observed.

“At least here in Ponyville you get to take things slowly and think about it.”

Mac’s teeth clenched for a moment and he put the muffin down. He stared at it for a moment before his eyes shifted back to Cheerilee. “All I’ve been thinkin’ about for the last two hundred years was how my family was dying right in front of my eyes. You remember Apple Bloom, right? My youngest sister? She lived a full life and still died a century ago. All I’ve done is work the farm, live my life, and miss everypony I ever knew.”

“It’s not like I didn’t leave behind plenty of friends of mine,” Cheerilee replied. There was no trace of anger in her voice, she was too well controlled for that.

“And yet, you come home to Ponyville after all this time and it’s just for business.” Mac’s expression was the epitome of neutral. He’d learned his own lessons about concealing his feelings. “All those friends you left, that’s exactly what you did isn’t it? You just left ‘em behind you. Not a letter, not a single visit, not even a trace of you. We here in Ponyville thought something must’ve happened to you or maybe you’d just forgot about us. Guess it was the latter.”

The two of them again lapsed into silence. Mac’s eyes held his trademark placid look, just as Cheerilee remembered. He’d made his point and had nothing more to say.

She looked away. “I’m not who you remember. I left so that none of you would have to know what I’ve done.”

“And that’s the other thing.” Mac’s stoic demeanor nearly cracked, but he stopped and took a breath before continuing, “When did you become so cold-hearted?”

“Violence was never my intent, but sometimes there’s no other choice.” She glanced around the very public coffee shop, deciding that despite everypony’s continuing distraction it was not a good place to go into much detail. “There are... things out there that need to be taken care of. It’s for the good of everypony.”

“And I suppose you’re the pony that has to take care of them.” Mac was clearly not impressed by the notion.

“Somepony has to, Mac. Who else would but me?”

Mac paused, still showing no emotion while he struggled for words. Finally, he said, “Somepony... Anypony... Not you. You’re kind, you’re caring... You’re a schoolteacher, Cheerilee.”

She opened her mouth to protest, but Mac raised a hoof, gesturing towards her hip. “You can change what you do, Miss Cheerilee, but not what you are.”

She looked down at the three smiling flowers of her cutie mark, at the representation of her talent for helping little ones grow and prosper.

“I may have forgotten myself along the way,” Cheerilee admitted after a long moment.

Mac leaned a little closer to her. “I still remember.”

She could see the honesty in his eyes. It must be an Apple Family thing. Cheerilee inched forward in her seat, closing the distance between them. “Thank you.”

Mac smiled, but then looked away. “I might give you a kiss to make you feel better, but I think somethin’ is stuck in my teeth.”

Cheerilee laughed at the inside joke from long ago. They both lapsed into a silence, comfortable this time, lost in memories of a time long past.

Completely interrupting the moment, a couple at a nearby table suddenly began making out. The surprisingly loud display quickly shook Mac and Cheerilee out of their pleasant reverie, and with a glance they silently agreed that it was probably as good a time as any to leave.

Mac had apparently given up hope that the pony he was waiting for was going to show up. With everypony in town catching lovesickness, Cheerilee was not surprised. Mac held the door for her and they exited the coffee shop.

“So where were you thinkin’ of starting with your, uh, secret mission?”

Mac’s awkwardness was almost amusing. Cheerilee didn’t quite know why that was, but she smiled. “Please, Mac. You make it sound like I’m some special agent from the movies or something. To answer your question, though, I think I’ll start in the logical place for investigating a contaminated water supply.”

“The city’s water treatment plant, then.” Mac nodded. “I know where it is.”

Cheerilee blinked. “I was going to say the water tower. When did you get a whole treatment plant?”

Mac chuckled. “You really have been gone a long time. Come on, let’s go.”

Comments

[Oubliette]

Werewolf and vampire. I swear, kids these days...

[Butterwings]

She didn't actually think they only had a water tower that whole time, right?

[Shilic]

Now I feel like making Big Mac a werewolf In A Dream was a long con to set up a Vampire Cheerilee H&H Day story like the episode. Unless this story came before that chaper of A Dream...

[totallynotabrony]

6381321 I like to think A Dream incorporates some of the longest storytelling in the business. You remember the three chapter buildup to a Forest Gump reference. Heck, I put a pun in the oven in July that I plan to finally pay off with one joke in January.