I don't know how 'long' I sat there by my lonesome, if time even had any real meaning in that place, but weeks of memories had come and gone before I'd calmed down enough. She was simply wrong, I told myself; she couldn't help it, so there was no use being angry with her. I wasn't what she thought – I wasn't who she thought, not any longer, not for twenty-five years – and if she wouldn't accept it, well, that was her problem. Not mine.
But, where had she gone? “Luna?” I asked, looking about. The thought of her witnessing my darkest moments was bad enough, but to have her skulking about in my mind, rifling through my memories like a burglar... That wouldn't do. Where did she go? Where could she go? And how could I not sense her?
“Relax,” she said shortly, stepping into my field of vision as though from nowhere. “I said I would ensure you wouldn't come to harm, and I can't do that while, ah - 'rifling through your mind like a burglar', was it?” She asked coolly.
I snorted, dismissing it – so long as she kept her hooves to herself, I didn't care. “Just keep your nose out,” I growled.
“Snout,” she corrected, raising an eyebrow. “You don't have a nose, now, you have a snout. Best get used to the vocabulary.”
I rolled my eyes, wondering how one with so refined an upbringing could be so petty, and turned back to watch my past unfold. At least she wasn't enjoying it any more than I was...
But, what was this? I felt... giddy. Excited. It took me a moment to realize it wasn't coming from 'me', strictly speaking, but from me. My past self swelled with pride as he trotted down the corridor like a unicorn twenty years younger, more pleased with himself than he'd been for ages. I pushed inwards, seeking the thoughts of the memory... and broke into a grin. “See there?” I asked smugly, pointing to past-me. “I wasn't all bad. I did some good, too!”
We were in the open area just below the castle, which had apparently undergone recent, major construction – recent to the memory, anyway. Most auspicious were the two spires of pure crystal, one jutting from the floor, barely taller than a pony stood, the other hanging from far above until it terminated just a foot above the lower spire. The area around the base of the lower spire had been excavated and cleared away to make room for a latticework of crystalline machinery and conduits. Sombra – my old self, that is – was inspecting everything with a critical eye, and so far it seemed to be running smooth as silk. His excitement was infectious – I found myself growing giddy with anticipation. Rightfully so, as well – he was almost finished with his greatest work.
“This is the day we did our first tests on the Construct,” I said, and despite my earlier annoyance with Luna I was eager to explain. I had the memories of how I'd made it, after all, and how much sweat and toil, how many sleepless nights had culminated in that day. It was like Discord's binding all over again, but this time I'd made sure that nothing would go wrong. I suppose I was reliving it again, in a way. “It's primary purpose, of course, was the defense of the Crystal City,” I continued without prompting, trotting around it and trying not to giggle like a fool. I stopped and sat on my flank, gazing up at the crystal heart and wishing I could touch it – it was so beautiful, even in its bastardized and unchangeable form. With a jolt, I suddenly remembered why. The Heart had already been keyed to the entire system, and scrapping it would require a reworking of nearly everything. Moreover, my colleague’s idea had mostly solved the drop in efficiency; a rotating assembly had, indeed, simulated much the same shape from a thaumaturgical standpoint. Besides, I had to admit – watching the Heart spin-up and accumulate power during the simulation tests was much more exciting than a silently floating cardioid. I had reluctantly allowed it to remain in its new shape.
My past-self spoke. “You'll be ready to cut the power in case things get out of hoof?” he asked his colleague, thumping the unicorn's shoulder with uncharacteristic camaraderie, looking over his work.
“That's right,” the collegue said stiffly, not meeting Sombra's gaze, and snapped his toolbox closed.
“Something wrong?” Sombra asked, frowning. “Best say it now, we don't want to pump kilothaums of power through this thing only to watch it fail spectacularly...”
“No, no, to the best of my knowledge the Construct is perfectly operational,” he said, carefully aloof as he levitated his toolbox and tucked it in his saddlebag. “No, the problem is with you and the Duchess.”
Confusion etched Sombra's face. “What? But now that we have an understanding, she's taken her nose out of our business and allowed us the freedom to build this great machine as we wished. I don't understand the problem.”
“Your business, Sombra, and the freedom to build it as you wished.” The unicorn sighed, shaking his head and fixing my old self with a steady, sober gaze. “When the Duchess fired you,” he said slowly, carefully, “I couldn't blame her. Your blatant insubordination should have got you removed from the project ages ago. Don't get me wrong, I didn't like losing a co-worker, but I couldn't fault her for it.”
I grimaced as I felt Sombra's anger swell up in his chest, and as he surreptitiously ignited his horn I realized what he was about to do. Still, the other unicorn continued talking, oblivious of the danger. “I was poised to be promoted to the head of this project – I was so excited I told my wife the good news immediately, and we'd already made plans to move out of our little apartment and into a real house... Then, without any warning or explanation, you and the Duchess suddenly became... close." He glowered bitterly down at his pack for a moment, then continued. "She snatched the position out from under me and gave it back to you, with no explanation. I don't know what happened, and I don't want to know what happened, but I can't work in a place that-”
A tiny flash of Sombra's horn ended the thought, brushing away the unicorn's free will and turning him into yet another mind-slave. There was only the slightest pang of regret as my past self pushed thoughts and commands into the unicorn's mind, forcing him to act naturally and continue as if nothing had happened.
“-that does not celebrate your expertise as much as it should,” he said, barely missing a beat. The entire process had taken less than a second, and unless someone watched very, very carefully, no one would have been the wiser. My past self had grown much better at that, I noted dourly.
“Don't worry, dear friend,” he said kindly, smiling warmly at his new mind-slave. “Once the city knows of my deeds here, they'll appreciate me as they should.”
Luna watched from the sidelines, her eyes narrowed. “Such a momentous occasion, truly,” Luna said dryly. I growled, but remained silent.
The unicorn in the memory, meanwhile, nodded smiled contentedly, and unpacked his bags to get back to work.
I watched as the final preparations were made, and felt a moment of disquiet. I could remember what it had been like back then – I'd even been fond of him. If I had kept my temper, I wondered, if I hadn't been fired, what would have come of it? Would I have done everything I had? I didn't know – and that bothered me.
My own enthusiasm chilled, I watched dispassionately as the final countdown commenced. If all went well, the Construct would release a small, contained burst of concentrated Order magic, designed to purge all evil and dark magic from the area. Sombra, meanwhile, was eagerly waiting to see all his labors come to fruition. The Heart began to spin, and even operating at a tiny fraction of its full potential it was still an impressive sight. Pure Order magic swirled and coalesced around the Heart, and soon it was almost too bright to look at without eye protection.
“5... 4... 3... 2... 1... Activate.” The technician pulled down the lever and activated the device.
There was no warning; pain ripped through his body, knocking him off his hooves and leaving his mind reeling. He felt something sever, some magical connection snap, and a multitude of others momentarily disrupted. When he finally came to his senses, he found several others staring down at him with concern.
He immediately climbed to his hooves, glowering darkly as he looked for whoever was responsible. “What went wrong?” he barked. “Who sabotaged my Construct?!”
There was a confused silence as ponies exchanged uneasy looks. “N-nothing went wrong, Advisor,” a timid voice finally said. “The Construct operated exactly as it was supposed to. Nothing failed, and everyone else is fine...”
But that wasn't entirely true. Sombra's heart went cold as he watched his newest mind-slave squeeze his eyes shut, shuddering, and look about like he had just come out of a dream. When Sombra reached for the tendril of consciousness that connected him to the hapless pony, he found the link broken. He had lost control of one of his slaves... and his entire plan could be in jeopardy.
Panicked thoughts ran through his mind, and he readied a mass-casting of the spell on every pony present. He had to keep it contained, he couldn't let the secret out, he was so close... But it wasn't necessary. Before he could release the spell, the other unicorn simply walked towards him without any signs of anger or distress – only mild confusion. “Sorry,” he said easily, “I think the stress has been getting to me – I must have dozed off for a moment. In any case... I resign. I just can't work in a place with such blatant favoritism,” he said stuffily, packing his saddlebags once more and leaving without another word.
Sombra stared after him, mouth agape. How did that unicorn escape his grasp? He quickly felt for the other threads of control, and found them all sound. He probed deeper, and sensed disturbances from every single one he checked – they had all experienced a moment of vertigo and confusion just moments before. It was several tense minutes before he finally puzzled it out.
In hindsight, he had missed one glaring flaw in his plan – the spell he used to enslave others to his will was, of course, dark magic. Naturally, the Construct had disrupted the spell, and completely eliminated it for the one mind-slave in its range. He shuddered to think of the fallout if it had severed all of the spells, or if there had been other mind-slaves present. He should have realized it sooner, and cursed his hubris for overlooking such an obvious detail. It wouldn't happen again, he decided. He was just lucky that the unicorn didn't seem to remember a thing. Still...
I glowered at my past self. He wasn't one to leave loose ends...
“Wait!” he called out, quickly catching up with the unicorn and putting on a friendly smile. “That's no way to leave – we've been friends for too long for that. Tell ya what – I've been saving up some brandy for a special occasion, and, well, we both earned it. Come on up to my office, we can share the bottle. I'd like to end things amicably, with no hard feelings, if you're up for it.”
If there's one complaint I have about Order, it's that it's far too predictable.
***
“...Is he okay?”
We woke up at the same time, and with one look we knew we'd both experienced the same 'dream' together – if it could even be called a dream, since we were both sort of 'there' at the same time. When we found James in my garden outside, we weren't really sure how to get him safely back indoors – he wasn't having a seizure as we had feared, and thank goodness for that, but he wasn't exactly sleeping peacefully. We eventually managed to manhandle - ponyhandle? - him back into my house, however, and onto the couch with the help of my levitation magic and Luke's steadying wings. We couldn't figure out how to get him to lay still and not flail about, but Luke eventually covered his barrel with pillows and sat on top of him, pinning him down and keeping his restless squirming to a minimum. As awkward as it was, it was the best and only option. I volunteered to make us some lunch, and turned the TV onto a station so my friend-turned-pegasus wouldn't get too bored.
I wasn't yet certain what my new body was comfortable eating, so I did a 'sniff test' on everything that looked appetizing. Spinach was a keeper – as were the mushrooms and the kale. Perhaps a nice saute? I started heating and oiling the pan when Luke's worried calls reached me from the living room.
“Cadance? He's not moving anymore!” he shouted urgently, followed by the sound of a tower of couch cushions toppling to the ground. A moment later I was dashing into the living room again, and found Luke frantically examining his brother.
“Is he breathing?” I asked, feeling useless – as powerful as I supposedly was, I couldn't even help a friend. Luke, however, had some training as a medic, and was handling it far better than I was.
“Yes... Hang on,” he said, frowning and putting his hear to the unicorn's chest. His frown deepened as he lifted his head. “Heart rate is high – but that's normal for a pony, right? I mean, my own heartbeat's a lot faster now...” He shook his head and looked his brother over, but apparently couldn't find anything wrong. “Is it over? Do you think maybe he's sleeping normally now?” he asked, scratching the back of his head with a hoof.
“Maybe,” I mumbled dubiously, and gently prodded his side. When that didn't elicit a response, I poked harder. I kept it up, prodding and poking more frantically and forcefully, until Luke gently pushed my hoof away, shaking his head. I stopped and blushed when I realized I'd probably left James with a few bruises.
“I got this,” Luke muttered, and took a deep breath. Before I could ask what he intended, however, he was already bellowing at the top of his lungs. “Hey! James!” my friend shouted, “Your computer's running slow, I'm gonna go click a bunch of those ads and install some stuff – they say they'll make it run faster! Oh, and your external hard drives look dirty, I'm gonna put them in the washer.”
Still there was no response.
“Yeah... He's not sleeping,” Luke muttered darkly. “You wouldn't happen to know any spells to detect brainwaves, would ya?”
I shook my head, blushing and wishing I could offer more help. My friend was in need, and I couldn't do anything to help... wait. What was that smell?
I yelped and dashed back into the kitchen, awkwardly levitated the pan off the burner, then dumped it in the sink to douse it in water. Just what we needed – on top of turning into a magical pony princess and my friend going comatose, I'd nearly set my house ablaze. We had no sustainable way to get food, no adequate way to prepare it, and the less said about the bathroom situation the better...
“Things can't keep going on like this,” I mumbled, looking forlornly at the ruined pan. “This neighborhood is no place for us... We have to get out of here. Please, James, wake up...”
***
Time is a funny thing in the mind, and it was no different in the mindscape. Some memories seemed to pass as if I was actually living through them again, laboriously slogging through every last detail. Others flew by in a rush, easily filling in the gaps in my mind with their sheer banality. Months, even years passed in such a way, as I saw my old self consolidating his power and... Well, surprisingly, doing a good job at running the City. Technological innovation continued, with the Heart providing the raw power where it was needed. That's not to say that my old self had become 'nice' – he continued to put more and more ponies under his dominion, but even that seemed to taper off as his will to command was satiated. I dared to hope that, perhaps, those were the worst of his crimes... But then I remembered back to the show, how every single Crystal Pony seemed to have suffered something terrible under his dominion, and stifled that hope. He wasn't done yet, oh no...
Then, abruptly, time started to flow as normal, and I found myself looking at... myself. Well, a reflection anyway. Years had passed, years of peace and prosperity for him and most of the Crystal City, and now...
“I'm old.”
It had crept up on him so gradually that he had only just noticed, but the signs were unmistakable. A graying muzzle, a mane shot through with white, a heaviness in his bones that never seemed to fade... He was nearing the end of his life, by unicorn standards. Order magic could sustain him for a time, but not indefinitely – indeed, he had already relied on it heavily to preserve his vigor, and even that was suffering from diminished returns. Soon he would need constant infusions to keep his body functioning at a normal level... After that, he would need it to keep function at all. And when that failed... What then?
He shuddered, turning away from the mirror. Surely there was a solution; a body was just a physical thing, and physical things could always be mended, improved...
...Improved?
He stopped dead in his tracks, contemplating that idea. A building could be made stronger, harder wearing, yes, as could any system, and perhaps even a new building could be made to house all the old equipment; surely the same could be done with a body? But... But...
He hadn't the faintest idea how.
Sombra had never studied much about transmutation or transmogrification of the body – that branch of magic was always too chaotic for his taste, and when done incorrectly could result in permanent injury, disfigurement, death, or any combination thereof. No, he was quite content with Order magic, and whenever he was injured he could simply encourage his body's natural order to unfold and repair itself. But that was no longer enough, he realized. The parts were failing, and their natural order was crumbling away. No... he needed to delve into magics he found unsavory, repugnant...
...Even Chaotic.
He sighed, furrowing his brow as he squeezed his eyes shut, concentrating on the Royal Guardens. “No other options,” he muttered, horn flaring as he focused his will. A moment later he stepped forward onto soft grass, the smell of freshly cut turf and well-tended flowers assaulting his nostrils. He sneezed and opened his eyes once more, looking about in disgust – such lax security! Here he was, on their front doorstep, and the Princesses hadn't even protected it from a basic teleportation spell! Sure, they were alicorns, and they probably didn't have much to fear themselves, but what of their subjects? And such frivolous waste of resources – the amount spent on the garden's upkeep could have hired at least a dozen soldiers, surely. Ah well, he couldn't complain too much; their oversights were to his advantage. He could do what he wanted, and do it without attracting too much attention.
Even so, it wouldn't do to skulk about. He rummaged through his saddlebag, levitated out a pair of reading glasses and a book, and sat down on a nearby park bench as if to enjoy a pleasant spring afternoon in the Gardens. Without his uniform, he looked like any other unicorn – he could be somepony's grandfather.
A moment later a small voice floated into his mind. 'Subtle.' it admitted grudgingly.
He smirked. “I've had to be, yes,” he muttered, and hummed softly as he pretended to read. Only his unmoving eyes would have given him away.
'Rather presumptuous, don't you think?' the voice asked testily, its usual amusement absent. Coming back here, no doubt seeking my help. You've been such a dullard with what help I've so graciously bestowed upon you, why should I even hear you out?'
“Consider it a diplomatic visit,” the unicorn muttered, chuckling. “One head of state to... well, an ex-head of state, I suppose. But perhaps you're busy – what, with standing around all day, being shat upon by feathery vermin...'
'Such a clever mind, wasted on such dullness. Well, out with it then – what exactly do you want this time, eh? A spell to balance your accounts? Maybe something to wipe out a pony's creativity and spontaneity completely, so they'll make more obedient drones?' the voice practically spat, unamused.
No sense beating around the bush, Sombra thought, especially since it just encouraged his incessant nattering. “I'm getting old, Discord, and I do not wish to die. Ever, if possible.”
The voice paused, then chuckled. 'Well of course you don't!' it jeered, its grating amusement back in full force. 'No one ever wishes to die! But unless you're a primal spirit like me, well, that's not going to happen. I won't let it, for one. It wouldn't do to have real competition,' the voice tittered, edged with malice.
“Then you are of no use to me,” Sombra said casually, packing his book. If Discord wouldn't help him, surely there was some other method to preserve his life–
'I only said I wouldn't make you like me,' the voice continued smoothly. 'I didn't say I wouldn't help you with your little dilemma...'
Sombra paused... and finally opened his book back up, pretending to read once more. “Why would you help me?” He asked, more curious than suspicious. The answer could very well be 'because it's Tuesday', for all the capriciousness of the mad creature.
The voice giggled evilly, clearly relishing whatever was going through its malicious mind, before it finally answered. Because if you succeed, we'll BOTH get what we want.'
“What, you'll find some amusement in this? More of your twisted entertainment?” the unicorn asked dubiously, frowning into the book. “Surely you didn't expect anything else from me. What could you–” Sombra paused, catching movement out of the corner of his eye, and waited for a patrolling guard to pass by. “What could you get from it?” he continued when the coast was clear. “You certainly didn't seem pleased with how I've been running the City... To be perfectly honest, I don't how you expected anything else. I'm not like you – all I do serves the greater good all ponies, while you just... tear things apart.”
The voice chuckled, clearly amused, and I snorted at my past self. Seriously? Even I could see what a lie that was. That led to an uncomfortable thought, however – if he couldn't recognize it, how did I know I could? I quickly pushed the thought away quickly though, shying away from it. I was a good person, I told myself once again...
The voice chuckled in Sombra's mind. ' And here I thought you wouldn't be amusing... Irony aside,' the voice continued, 'Because... Well, here's the thing about unicorns,' he said delicately, giving rare consideration to his words. It was so strange compared to his usual flippancy. 'They die.'
“No, really?” Sombra grumbled, unimpressed. He was tempted to walk away right then and there – he didn't have to put up with that kind of thing, he was the ruler of the Crystal City in all but name, the most powerful unicorn alive, perhaps who had ever lived...
'As do pegasi, as do earth ponies, as do the donkeys and the griffons and every other sentient species that lives in this world,' the voice continued blithely as if it hadn't been interrupted. 'That's just their nature; there's nothing in their bodies that's designed to last forever. In fact, the only things that don't seem to die – of old age, at least,' he hastily amended, snickering malevolently – 'are alicorns. Why, if they're not killed they could live for all eternity!'
Sombra knitted his brow, wondering what the draconequus was getting at. “You're saying that I should become an alicorn?” he asked dubiously.
'No no no no noooo,' the voice laughed, 'perish the thought! You, become an alicorn? And here I thought you had no sense of humor! No, no, you're simply going to take on their power and longevity.'
“Oh, is that all?” Sombra asked dryly. “How silly of me, let me just consult my 'Immortality for Dolts' manual and I'll be all set. Quit wasting my time and get to the point!”
'There's no need to be rude,' the voice muttered petulantly. 'It's not like I've lied to you – not yet, anyway. But why should I lie, when you'll be doing my dirty work for me?'
“What dirty work?” Sombra asked, even as he had the creeping suspicion that he already knew.
'Again, there is nothing in unicorns, pegasi, or earth ponies that can live forever,' the voice said slowly, patiently. 'But if you could take the essence of what makes an alicorn an alicorn, and mingle it with your own...'
'So that's where he's going with this,' the unicorn thought. “...I could live forever,” he breathed, an ember of hope flaring in his barrel. Finally, the mad creature was speaking sense. Then the hope faltered. “But... what happens to the alicorn in question?” he asked, once again suspecting that he already knew the answer.
'Oh, they have to die, of course – this kind of magic always comes with a price, and a steep one at that!' The voice gave another high, grating laugh, and making Sombra wince and grit his teeth.
“And you want me to kill one of the Princesses,” he muttered darkly. There was always a catch...
'Or both!' the voice laughed, equal parts malice and cheerfulness. 'I'm not terribly picky, but I don't imagine either would be very happy with their sister's killer. Still, it's up to you – surprise me!'
“So that's your game,” Sombra whispered, quickly putting things together. “I kill the Princesses, and with them out of the picture the power of the Elements would fade. You'd be free to escape...”
'Ooooh, well, there is that,' the voice replied dismissively, 'but, see... I can't escape immediately – you know this, you've examined the spell that binds me here. You'd have time to prepare, after all – perhaps find the Elements and try to use them against me? I'm sure you could manage...' Sombra still couldn't tell whether the Draconequus was mocking him or just that bad at lying. Perhaps it was a little of both. Most likely the creature didn't really care, and merely reveled in the confusion it sowed.
The unicorn considered the cost of the proposal. On one hoof, he was going to die sooner or later if he didn't find a way to keep his aging body going. On the other, immortality would come at the price of unleashing Discord upon the world once more, and that also didn't bode well for his continued existence. Either way, battle would be inevitable – fight death on his own, or fight the Sisters and eventually Discord. “...You don't think I'd win, do you.”
The voice hrmmed, pondering the question, then tittered. 'See, that's the thing,' it began, its voice full of malevolent mirth. I don't know! What I do know,' it continued, sinking to a threatening growl, 'is that I'd rather die than spend an eternity trapped in this stone prison. And I know you don't want to succumb to the ignominy of old age. So, we'll both get what we want. You'll kill the princesses and gain their power and longevity, and I will finally escape. After that... Well, we'll just see, won't we!'
Sombra pondered the treachery of the Draconequus. Certainly, there were risks. Great risks. Not the least of which was that he'd eventually have to face the monster he'd unleashed upon the world. But... He wouldn't be just a unicorn any longer, if the plan worked. He'd be so much more than that. “I will kill you, you know,” Sombra said casually, turning the page of his book. “I'll have the power of two alicorns, and with the Heart fortifying my body and magic I'll be unstoppable.”
'Oh, I'm sure you will,' the voice crooned sarcastically, amused at the unicorn's bluster. 'In any case, I will share with you the secrets of immortality... And you'll do with them what you will. Far more fun that way, don't you think?'
He idly wondered if Discord had been so infuriating prior to his imprisonment. “I'm not playing games, Discord, and I'm tired of your ceaseless nattering. Just give me the damn information.”
'Tsk! Temper temper! You really should consider a hobby, work out some of that anger... Oh, that's right; being boring is your hobby. Ah well.' Before Sombra could even begin looking for a pickaxe, however, the Draconequus started to tell him the location of another book – also by Starswirl, and even more carefully hidden than the last. 'See, he didn't like to keep everything in one place – far too easy for others to find,' the voice explained. 'And the knowledge in that book is particularly dangerous. Much of it came from Tirek's brother himself, and... Well, he wasn't so nice before he became friends with that batty old wizard. Came from another universe, he did, and it wasn't full of happy magical pastel ponies, I can tell you that much!'
“Uh huh. That's nice,” Sombra muttered absentmindedly, writing down everything vital while ignoring the rest of Discord's inane ramblings. The sooner he left the lunatic behind, the better. He nodded over his notes, closed the book... then stopped. “This spell is heavily biased towards Chaos magic, yes?” he asked, choosing his words carefully and adopting a casual tone. “I can't imagine that such a radical transformation would be a simple change.”
'Oooh yes, such a delightful spell, a personal favorite of mine,' the voice giggled.
“And, this spell will need reagents infused with potent Chaos magic, correct?”
'Yeeeessss,' the Draconequus replied with diminishing patience. 'You're going to have to find those yourself, I'm afraid. Can't help ya there.'
Sombra smirked, raising an eyebrow. "See, you're wrong about that." He gave the statue a predatory grin, and continued. “You know, I've always felt you were too long in the tooth – and, well, finding something chaotic enough for this sort of thing will be rather trying for a unicorn of my advanced age...”
'What are you – YAAAAAAAAAAH! THAT HURT, YOU BASTARD! You put that back right now or so help me–'
Sombra teleported back to his room without another word, heedless of Discord's mental shouts of pain and rage. He had what he needed, after all, and as he examined the petrified stone tooth he couldn't help but smile. Yes, he needed the reagent. Yes, he probably could have acquired it in some other manner. But there was something just so satisfying about making that creature hurt... Maybe he wouldn't kill the beast immediately, after he beat the everloving daylights out of the vile thing. Maybe he'd toy with the creature first. Yes, that sounded... Delightful.
“Annoying git,” he muttered, carefully sealing the tooth in a protective vessel, and went to work. Godhood waited for nopony, and he still had some kinks to work out of the plan.
Whooooo.
This sombra does not mess around
4416949
You can't have read it all already O_O
I'm glad to see that this story is updating more often!
4416974
Yeah... Moral of the story, kids, is 'don't go to school or work, it'll really eat up your free time' =p
4416952
I totally did. Luck, mostly. I saw it pop up in my feed, and read it immediately.
I read a lot. To the point where I read pretty fast, now.
10-20k chapters take as little as an hour...
4419359
There seems to be a fundamental difference between what 'sorceresses' do and what unicorns and alicorns (and indeed, Pegasi and Earth Ponies) can do. The sorceresses and mediums and such in the Bible did what they did in the name of false gods and idols, or by attempting to commune with spirits. Alicorns, unicorns, pegasi, and earth ponies, however, seem to be able to directly manipulate a fundamental but unseen energy. Second, plenty of people in the Bible DID do magic WITH God's blessing - Moses and Jesus spring to mind first and foremost.
Likewise, that verse has a whole lot of 'ands' in there - namely:
1. Transgressing the Covenant with God.
2. Served other gods and worshipped them.
3. Does what is evil in the sight of God.
There is also one more qualifier, one that is only indirectly spoken; that is, they must also be 'among you', as in 'sharing in God's Covenant'. Someone who was not Jewish, someone who did not share of that covenant, would not be transgressing it.
So, the person must fulfill ALL of those qualifiers before one could stone them, or else one has committed the sin of murder.
Oh, and let's not forget... We live under a new Covenant, for Jew and for Gentile, and Sombra is definitely the latter. As such he lives under grace, and he would be loathe to pass judgement on another when he himself deserves death for his crimes. However, if anypony else tried to enforce the 'magic' law against him, they would be judged and found guilty by the same measure; Pegasi, Unicorns, and Earth Ponies all use magic already.
Oh, and one last thing to consider; in this story, God made both worlds, and one had 'magic' sensing and manipulating beings in it - which He likewise created. I scarcely think that God would make the creatures fundamentally unwholesome in their basic functions.
4420742
In my mind he's still a man who has communed with otherworldly powers who have dominion over what is specifically what is deemed god's sole domain and gained magic powers of divination; he's even talking to the dead! ( kinda) necromancy seems a big black mark on the whole pony sanctioned magic thing.
But I'm mostly being pedantic for the hell of it , your story, your religion, you're free to do what you want with it . I honestly would like it if he did go all old testament on them ; follow every ridiculous rule to the exact crazy westro-baptist level. It would even tie into what I've read off the official 5 score ending where Sombra doesn't even seem to turn up; He's too busy off getting beat down by Luna / Celestia.
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"In my mind he's still a man who has communed with otherworldly powers"
Please say exactly what you mean by 'otherworldly powers'. Princess Luna, or Cadance? They're flesh and blood, just like him, even if they are 'immortal' after a fashion. Discord? Yes, that is an 'otherworldly power', and he's repented of his evil deeds in his past.
"who have dominion over what is specifically what is deemed god's sole domain"
The movement of the sun and the moon, you mean? Again; these are entirely different worlds. I suspect that the sun and the moon in Equestria are rather different from the sun and the moon here on Earth. Consider; if Celestia had the kind of power to move an object the size of our sun, Discord would have been as a fly to her. Moreover, the sun and the moon in Equestria are clearly much closer to earth, or else the speed of light is much faster - it takes 8 minutes for light to reach our earth from our sun, but when Twilight tried to move the sun it moved instantaneously.
"and gained magic powers of divination; he's even talking to the dead! ( kinda) necromancy seems a big black mark on the whole pony sanctioned magic thing."
Wait, what are you talking about? He's not talking to the dead; he's unlocked his memories, and with Luna's aid he's able to go through them all again rather than have them forced into his mind and change him back into who he was. Luna is not dead; Discord is not dead; Cadance is not dead; Soarin is not dead. Who, exactly, are you saying is dead, that he is communing with them?
"But I'm mostly being pedantic for the hell of it , your story, your religion, you're free to do what you want with it . I honestly would like it if he did go all old testament on them ; follow every ridiculous rule to the exact crazy westro-baptist level."
Whatever you may think of the old covenants the Jews had with God, we live under a new covenant that fulfilled the terms of the old one.
Matthew 23:23 - "Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You give a tenth of your spices—mint, dill and cumin. But you have neglected the more important matters of the law—justice, mercy and faithfulness. You should have practiced the latter, without neglecting the former."
And also,
Matthew 18: 23-34
"Therefore the kingdom of heaven is like a certain king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. 24 And when he had begun to settle accounts, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents. 25 But as he was not able to pay, his master commanded that he be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and that payment be made. 26 The servant therefore fell down before him, saying, ‘Master, have patience with me, and I will pay you all.’ 27 Then the master of that servant was moved with compassion, released him, and forgave him the debt.
28 “But that servant went out and found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii; and he laid hands on him and took him by the throat, saying, ‘Pay me what you owe!’ 29 So his fellow servant fell down at his feet[d] and begged him, saying, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you all.’[e] 30 And he would not, but went and threw him into prison till he should pay the debt. 31 So when his fellow servants saw what had been done, they were very grieved, and came and told their master all that had been done. 32 Then his master, after he had called him, said to him, ‘You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you begged me. 33 Should you not also have had compassion on your fellow servant, just as I had pity on you?’ 34 And his master was angry, and delivered him to the torturers until he should pay all that was due to him."
Sombra, now that he has sought forgiveness from God, would be like the pharisees who upheld some of the laws with a zeal but ignored the deeper and weightier laws of justice, mercy, and faithfulness, and likewise like the debtor.
I must wonder, why would you like to see Sombra act like a pharisee, a hypocrite? Is your faith in your own beliefs so small that others must make strawmen of their own so you may be more comfortable with yours?
"It would even tie into what I've read off the official 5 score ending where Sombra doesn't even seem to turn up; He's too busy off getting beat down by Luna / Celestia."
I was under the impression that Sombra, in the official 5 Score ending, was running as mayor of... Chicago? Anyway, yeah, I'm deviating from that ending, it was made for a different story.
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If you are sure of your beliefs, why does Sombra's conviction bother you? If you are sure in your beliefs, he is sure in his, and there is nothing in your belief system that requires (or indeed benefits you) to proselytize, then what, exactly, do you take umbrage with?
If you are not sure of your beliefs, however, why do you hate his? If you are unsure, it is no benefit to you to hate other beliefs, but to seek the truth of things.
Also... We're talking about a world (well, two worlds) with magic and creatures with the power to shape reality to their whimsies (Discord, for instance). I would be very surprised if such a setting had no god/gods.
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First real story in... gosh, ages. Trying to juggle so many plot points and fix characters in my mind is... Well, difficult. So, what was jarring about that scene? That she finally snapped at him? Bear in mind, he's dealing with a newly-awakened alicorn who specializes in the power of the heart, and can probably 'feel' what's going on in Sombra's. Perhaps unconsciously, perhaps consciously, but still. Perhaps I should make that more clear? I tried to hint to it...
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"Sombra has been presented here as a being of logic and order, and a scientist in his own right. It's completely jarring to see him, even in reincarnated form, accept the word of God as an undeniable truth when in reality it's something that you take on faith rather than logic and reason."
I must disagree; even when my emotions are in turmoil and I start to doubt whether there is a god, it is through logic and reason that I can reaffirm that belief. Faith isn't blind, it isn't a whimsy; it is the act of following through with what one believes. Likewise, faith in God isn't a belief about facts, it is acting on that belief in a manner consistent with it being true. Faith is a 'complete trust or confidence in something', not just what one believes is true.
"And the feeling of relief Sombra got from 'God' with only a few seconds of tearful prayer? It really felt like I was being sold something that I'd expect on a Christian ministry website or an enthusiastic Korean's stack of church pamphlets at an Asian supermarket rather than a fanfiction database."
I can honestly say from personal experience that there is catharsis in realizing that one did wrong, apologizing for it, and seeking forgiveness for it. If you think I did it incorrectly, you tell me; how should it have been done? Should it have been done gradually? Sorry, but this kind of decision does not come gradually; one does not realize one's own depravity, especially to the Sombra's extent, as a slow and gradual process. It must be quick and relentless, or one will rationalize and justify it endlessly until one's in a worse off state than before.
"There are Christians who go through a lifetime without a feeling like that. So unless it was just another of Sombra's deluded mental constructs to conveniently distance himself from responsibility for his evil, what makes him so special?"
Again; this is personal experience talking. Though, you are correct to an extent; I should edit it so that it's less of a 'feeling' and more of a 'knowing', based on what one knows to be true. Unfortunately, the desire to *feel* saved rather than be forgiven is prevalent in the Church today, and it's something I apparently struggle with. Anyway, it's edited - there's still some feeling, but it's not the foundation of his faith. Rather, it is a fruit thereof.
"Also distracting was Soarin' and Cadance getting ahead of the story early on in calling James/Sombra out for being a nasty piece of work, particularly without previous examples of it having been provided. Being a dick to a dickish customer doesn't exactly make you Hannibal Lecter."
*nods* Reading back on it, it does seem a bit rushed - too forced. I've gone back and edited her response in chapter 9 to be more measured and calm. Firm, but not shouting and not angry, like the Cadance from the show.
"I'll keep going as long as it's updated. But I've got to say that this chapter completely sucked the immersion out of the story, and wouldn't be surprised if readers were lost to it. Sombra coming to terms with his misdeeds easily drained the impact from any future "redemption" that might be written up for him. If he's "saved by Jesus" now, what does the rest matter?"
I'm glad you pointed out the characterization issues and the tonal flaws, don't mistake me. But, I fear you don't know much about having faith in God. It requires one to submit one's will to God on a daily (sometimes hourly, sometimes constant) basis. One will fail, yes, and one will continue to sin, but as one continues to submit to God... One grows. Forgiveness God's gift to us, but it's not the end of it. He's forgiven for his sins, but if he stops there... Well, his life will be a living hell.
*goes to the next comment...*
"Before the Bible stuff came along and pretty much flattened everything that annoyed me before in a tidal wave of seeming proselytization,"
I can alter the tone, but not the message; in the end, this is a story of a monster's redemption. But by all means, point out the spots that seem 'preachy' or poorly worded - it was awkward for me to write that stuff, and it seems I unconsciously fell back on trite old sayings in some cases.
"it was the lack of context that was jarring. We're presented with a main character who may have been a reincarnated tyrant, but the references to his past 25 years of jerkhood are nebulous to non-existent. So even if James has always been an ass in your mind's eye, a reader won't know without examples, which was why I was confused by the various reactions of his brother and friend. I believe I mentioned something about them 'jumping the gun'."
I do need to go through a bit of editing, yes - and one of those things will be to make him more jerkish and self-centered, possibly with a few more examples.
"The former Nightmare Moon certainly has a bit of chutzpah in wanting to isolate him as a threat equal to or nearing Discord. I understand her not being sure what to do when she first encounters him, but striking out to alienate him from friends and family seems counterproductive to keeping him from falling into old ways."
Ummm... With the threat he posed to Equestria, and the means by which he attained that power, it makes sense to err on the side of caution. Also, let's be honest, Luna's probably more rash and 'final' than her sister.
"Cadance getting the feeling that something's up because of her special talent, well, that's easily written off. But I don't think Soarin' has the same powers of deduction."
Easy fix, there - she probably talked about it with him. They all work at the same place. Thanks, though. *edit edit edit*
"I didn't see him say he hates Christian conviction, but a lot of people are tired of being ambushed by it. People mention their lack or distaste for belief as almost a form of mental self-defense in a peer-pressure sea of piety in a world where even national policies are influenced by it. As to gods being real in a story like this, I can see that, but brought up in the way this was just feels contrived and silly."
*shrugs* If you start from the presumption that both worlds were created by the same "I AM", it actually fits nicely.
"That said, I'm sure you have something up your sleeve. I can't see his conflict and redemption ended in two paragraphs of fluff, unless the punchline of the story is to end him as two-dimensional as he began."
Ooooh yes. I do, very much so. Forgiveness is given immediately, but it takes time to really change.
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Regarding "you cannot be a Christian by science/logic":
You seem to be making the assumption that creationism is the foundation of Christianity. That is not the case; one can be a Christian and NOT be a creationist. While I personally do believe in creationism, I don't believe it's of as great importance as some Christians seem to think, and it often detracts from the central message of the Gospels. More to the point, I do not hold the creationist theory to be as well-founded as the Gospel, and I fully admit that in regards to the creation of the universe, the earth, and mankind itself, I may have some key errors. But, again; the creation story is not the foundation of Christianity, and one may be a faithful Christian without taking the creation account as a historical and literal document.
Please note that I did not specify whether Sombra was a creationist or not; he may simply not care. But please bear in mind that there is more evidence for the Bible than what creation-theory proposes. Moreover, you must remember that orderly people tend to be more, well, stubborn. Even if he was wrong, why should it surprise you that he remains adamant about his beliefs?
In any case, it is not our memories that define our actions; it is our habits. His old memories may be re-establishing themselves, but he's still lived the past 25 years as a human being - that's a lot of habit built up. That and the fact that he's utterly rejecting his old-self, it should come as no surprise that he's clinging to the highest morality he saw in his human life.
Alright; is there any way, in your opinion, to incorporate Christian beliefs into this? If so, how would you do it?
Hrrmmm... On the count of it being a faith-based redemption story, would you be satisfied if I put a disclaimer in the description - say, "Contains Christian themes"? As for the face-off with himself and submission to Jesus, well... That's actually how it happens in real life - it happened to me, for instance. One must realize that one is a sinner, and in Sombra's case he'd been fighting that for a while. Next, one must ask forgiveness. This is a free gift from God, and the only requirement is that one be sincere. Now, what part about all this seems unrealistic for you (from a Christian perspective, of course)? His self-deception has been gradually stripped away over the course of several chapters, and in that chapter he could no longer deny it. Is it the suddenness with which he was forgiven, and the comfort it brings? In that he was actually quite logical - presuming Christianity to be true (and, again, he believes it is), one is not forgiven based on how much they agonize over their sins, one needs only recognize them and repent. There is also a comfort in knowing (or, if you prefer) believing that one is forgiven, even when accompanied with the knowledge that one is a terrible person, because one has a real, genuine hope for becoming better.
Now, this isn't to say that he is suddenly a good person, or that he has a better nature, just as forgiveness for crimes does not make one reformed. As I've said, it will take a good deal of time, effort, and turmoil before he stops being the impatient, demanding, domineering, and wrathful person he is. But it's a first step, and there is some comfort in that.
TLDR; please elaborate as to what exactly you find unbelievable about the process from the perspective of Christianity being true. If there's nothing wrong with it from that perspective, well, I'm afraid we'll just have to disagree. I can put a warning on the description, and I can try to clarify some things that aren't so easily understood by those outside the faith, but one of the core elements of this story is that the Bible is fundamentally true.
Oh, I fully intend for him to face struggles. It's how we grow. But he can go into them humbled and with a real understanding of mercy - knowledge he was tragically lacking before, as his past clearly indicates.
Then you understand that being forgiven for one's sins does not suddenly make one a good person, and that I never wrote anything of the sort?
There were probably other ways to handle it, but bear in mind - she and everyone else thought him dead and gone, a nightmare of the past. Her first and foremost priority - her instinct as co-sovereign of Equestria, if you will - would be to prevent him from hurting others, not necessarily to prevent him from falling into his old ways. And, bear in mind, she can freely enter his dreams whenever she wanted, so keeping him monitored wouldn't have been hard. It may not have been the best decision, but she had an entire kingdom of scattered and amnesia-afflicted subjects to care for. His wellbeing probably wasn't her top priority.
I'm not seeing the tonal shift, can you explain this further?
But there was no sudden and absolute 'emotional inversion'. He's still angry, he's still judgmental, etc etc etc. Now, however, it's tempered by the knowledge that he is not, and never was, a good person. With that comes a healthy dose of humility and some much-needed knowledge of what mercy really is.
I'm talking about God forgiving him for his sins - that's all that the prayer for forgiveness, the 'sinner's prayer' as it were, achieved. He is, indeed, still an angry and judgmental person, and while he's been somewhat tempered by his time on earth... Well, you can see what happens when he's given the least bit of power. The only real changes so far have been that he's A) a bit more humble for realizing just how evil he really is, and B) he has a basic understanding of mercy, where he had none before.
I've edited the chapter after that to better reflect this struggle - his initial reaction is still anger and judgment, but he's trying to fix that.
heh, now I kinda see what people were talking about. His faith in religion is almost comical in its depiction, though I can understand why he's going for something that seems so... outlandish in this specific context. Really, at this point, he has nothing left, so he clings to the only thing that still remains "immutable" for him. Think about it: everything else in his life is fluid: his personality, memories, friends, body, lifestyle, job... his traditions and faith are really all he has left that still stands.
Still, that said, this scene could be reworked. Something in the wording makes his turn to faith seem really silly.
EDIT: the discussion with luna involving the history of christianity rings a bit hollow, (given that anyone even slightly well-read would know of such a thing, regardless of religious position) but I like what you did with the back & forth with sommbra and his faith. It's a nice balance between "religious people are stubborn fools following myths" and "god is love, god is life."
EDIT2: I'm really liking these memory segments of the story. it's interesting to see what happens with Sombra over time. (especially since he had all of 30 seconds of screen time through 4 different seasons.)