I am going to tell you a tale about something weird although not uncommon. Althought it is never discussed or talked about and even more uncommonly defeated. And it is not a monster nor is it a demon. No this is something much worse. Something that can haunt you for your whole life. This thing is fear. And not just fear but a phobia.
The Tale begins when a little colt named Steam Tinker was about four years old.
"I can't believe that i got a colt tinker kit! i love it so much!!!" I scream out as i open my birthday present. "This is the best thing ever!" i get up from the floor and start to run torwards my room with my colts tinker kit in my hooves. Once i get to my room i open the kit and start playing around with all the bits and pieces that are in the kit. After playing with it for about an hour i decide to get something to drink. I walk out from my room and on the other side of the hallway i see a colourful red balloon that has falled of the wall it had been stuck to. I walk over to pick it up and put it somwhere else. As i reach out my hooves to pick it up it rolls away and i go after it to pick it up again. As i try to pick it up i hear a very loud bang as the balloon pops in my face. I sit there and stare at my hooves for about a second and then i start crying loudly.
This is how little Steam Tinker developed a Globophobia. A phobia of balloons. A phobia so serious that it causes him to avoid all public gatherings that involve balloons. The tale continues as Steam Tinker who is now 8 years old returns home from school and is about to receive some very bad new.
" I am home now" I shout as i walk into my home
"Hello sweetie could you come into the kitchen please" I hear my mom say and i slowly walk into the kitchen.
"You got a party invitation from one of your class mates" my mom hands me a envelope with a birthday invitation inside.
" Aww mom do i have to go?" i moan sounding very sad.
" Why wouldn't you want to go sweetie?"
" You know there is going to be balloons there and you know im afraid of balloons"
" nonsense you are going to go to the party and you are going to enjoy it"
I sigh and start walking to my room not wanting to argue with my mom. Hours pass and i sit in my room trying to mentally prepare myself for the party. At 8 o'clock my mom tells me it's time to leave for the party and we start walking. During the walk i say nothing all i think about is how to get out of this mess. As i snapp back to reality we reach the house. Ofcourse there are a cluster of balloons on the door. I try to not think about it as my mom knocks on the door. After my mom talks for a bit with Spark's mom im let in and my mom leaves me in this nightmare place. As im shown into the living room i casually ask who arranged the party decorations trying to keep my mind occupied.
"Well we asked pinkie pie to do it and she happily did it.
Ofcourse i should have known Pinkie Pie was the one that did the decorations. And just like her she had decorated well. And as expected the house was overflowing with balloons. They are everywhere. On the floor,on the walls and hanging from the roof. I feel a small panic attack building up. Im the first one to arrive and the Spark is stil in his room getting ready. I turn to spark's mom and i take a deep breath to get ready to speak.
"Umm can i ask you a favor?" i ask sounding a bit scared
"What is it?"
"um if it's okay. When the rest of the guests arrive could you ask them to not pop balloons since i have a phobia of balloons. and if you could try to not tell them it's me that am afraid that would be really great"
"Sure i can do that"
"Thank you"
With a sight of relief i smile and sit down and wait for the rest of my class mates to arrive. After i have been waiting for a while Spark comes down and meets me.
" Happy Birthday Spark"
"Thank you. So you wanna play while we wait for the rest of the guests"
" Sure what did you have in mind?"
"Oh i know. Close your eyes i will be right back"
I close my eyes and wait for Spark to come back. Suddenly i hear a familiar rubber squeaking sound. But before i manage to open my eyes it happens. BANG. I scream from getting scared.
"What are you screaming for?!?!?"
"I...i...i got scared by the bang"
"why?"
"Because im scared of balloons"
"Really?"
"YES!! i have always been since i was little!"
"Hahahaha what a coward you are. Seriously scared of balloons?"
Suddenly we hear the doorbell ring and most of the guests arrives. We gather and sit down in the living room.
"Okay before we start the pary i would like to ask you all to not pop any balloons around Steam Tinker because he is afraid of balloons" I see everyone staring at me and i start to get embarrassed. Sometime goes by and Spark opens his present and we eat cake. After finishing eating cake we have free time to play. I look around the room and see all my classmates standing in a ring around SPark whispering about something. I put down my soda on a table and start to walk over.
"Alright let's go" i hear spark say.
The next thing i know i get pressed down to the ground by two classmates and thats when i see what they are doing. They have gathered up all the balloons in the house and are walking torwards me. Then i notice that Spark and a few others are holding pins in their hooves.
"Please dont" i whimper.
They dont listen to my whimpering. BANG the first balloon pops and i get scared. With each balloon they pop they come close and closer to me
"Please stop" i say while crying out of fear.
The last balloon is in Sparks hooves as he moves close he puts it right infront of my head and pops it.
"What did you think about that Steam?...um steam?...Steam?!?!?"
I open my eyes and see sterile white bedsheets and im lying under a white blanker. Im in a hospital. I see a nurse cheking in on some patients.
"Umm exscuse me nurse?"
"Oh you are finally awake. How are you feeling?"
"A bit dizzy but else im feeling fine. But why am i in here?"
"You had a panic attack at a party and lost consciousness"
"Oh...i see"
" You know what since you are awake now ill go get you some food"
" Thank you nurse?"
"Redheart. Nurse Redheart"
I went back to sleep when nurse Redheart left. I was kept Hospitalised for a week and was then sent home. I stopped talking to Spark and never forgave him for what he did. And still to this day im afraid of balloons. A phobia i wil never be cured of. Globophobia.
Capitalize !
Capitalize !
CAPITALIZE, GOD DAMN IT !
That said, nice.
Yeah sorry about the grammatical errors. I do try to do my best when it comes to grammar but even when I try its not the best since english isn't my native language. But thanks for reading and ill try to fix the grammatical errors :)
As the other comments have already mentioned, your grammar and editing needs some work. Besides the basics, like capitalization and whatnot, I'd say you also might want to remove your double punctuation.
Should only have one punctuation point instead of the 5 that you have down. I don't think even the double, "!?" is technically grammatically correct, though I think you could get away with having that since it is pretty common to read it.
Also your very telly and don't show a lot. Of course you don't have to have everything be show. There are times when tell is better, however since you don't have a lot of show I think finding a moment you think is one of the more important moments and then explore expanding on that moment. Really think about how you can go from something telly like, "i get up from the floor and start to run torwards my room with my colts tinker kit in my hooves" and then make that showy. Try finding some other stories where it takes the author really takes their time describing something. You don't have to make it overly complex, but by adding a little you can really make the moment that much stronger.
I have globophobia, i have never actually fainted of fright but that is because only my family know and i never go to any parties. If my parents force me to then, i say i have plans and that i am seeing my friends. I know it is hard, for both of us, and any other globophobic out there. It feels like the world is against you, but it's not, as this is a very common thing but still there are people who bully us and beat us up inside. My only advice is find friends, good friends which you can trust and stick with them. That way when a balloon comes you can tell them, they will understand and they will get rid of the balloon as you run a mile away. For some people you will grow out of it, for some there is therapy, but not for all. Just hang in there and know that you are not the only one who suffers from this phobia.
Wow that is a long post
And for the record i don't care about grammar mistakes