A Very Little Pony

by Goldenfins

Playtime with Pinkie

Rarity magic’d me up to her eye level once again, flipping me around every which way to see if there was any permanent damage. There was nothing visible, and I felt more or less perfectly okay. So she placed me on the table.

“You really should pay more attention to where you sit, Pinkie. Who knows what kind of damage you could have caused this little pony! I’d like to keep him as long as I can. Now then, I’m going to invite some of our other friends over here to have some fun with little Goldenfins. You stay here with him and… just try to keep him alive, please.” Rarity said, as she prepared to go back outside.

“You can count on it!” Pinkie announced, saluting to Rarity as she exited. Once Rarity was gone, she turned to me. “Wow! I’ve never seen a pony this small before! I’ve seen some preeeetty small ponies in my time, but you take the cake! Ooh, cake sounds really good right now. Do you have any cake? Haha, no, of course not. Where would you keep a cake at your size? Even if you did have one it would be like, really super tiny, waaaaaay too small for me. I could probably swallow it in one gulp! I could probably even swallow YOU in one gulp…”

I could tell this pony was a bit of a chatterbox. Still, that last sentence kinda scared me. I didn’t exactly want to be eaten at the moment. In fact, I think I’d rather do anything else that didn’t also involve certain death. After all, that which does not kill me… is streets ahead of what does. Of course, if I had no choice but to die, being eaten might be a good way to go. At best, it could be an interesting and informative study of the equine digestive system. At worst, a gross trip through the intestines. In any case, it would probably be wise to get the pink one talking about something else other than eating me.

“…you might even taste really good! I could slather you with frosting… and ooh, sprinkles! You would be really tasty with sprinkles, Goldenfins!”

“Um, Miss Pie, I would really rather not be eaten… I mean, if that’s cool with you, I would like to avoid it at all cost…” I figured I would need to be as polite and proper as possible, rather than risk offending her, or any pony. I was definitely going to address any and all ponies I encountered as politely as possible, so as to avoid getting eaten, crushed, squashed, maimed, broken, ill, injured, or killed in any way. Tiny is a dangerous life to live, knowing that every individual around you could kill you with minimal effort. Hell, anypony could kill me without even realizing it. Like stepping on a bug.

When I said that to her, Pinkie’s expression saddened for a moment. That made me feel bad for a moment, but that feeling subsided as soon as hers did.

“Oh, sure! We can talk about something else. Ooh! We could play a game! I know! Let’s play Attack of the Fifty Foot Pony! You be the giant monster, and I’ll be the tiny villagers running in fear!” Pinkie suggested.

I wasn’t quite sure if she was joking or if she was just that clueless. Or perhaps she made a mistake. Did she really just recommend that I be the giant monster? That seems like the most implausible role reversal in history. I figured I’d go along with it, just for the sheer “wtf”ness of it all. So I agreed. I flew into the air, until I was flying high above Pinkie’s head.

“Ahhhh!” She screamed “It’s the Goldenzilla! Run for your lives!” I flew towards her and kind of did this thing where I charge forward and… I’m not entirely sure what I did, but it’s probably the best impression of a giant monster attacking tiny villagers one can do when one is in fact a tiny villager and the one that is being attacked is in fact a giant monster. It was a confusing game and I’m still not entirely sure either of us were playing right.

After playing for a while, Rarity returned. By that time, the storyline had gone to the point where the army has successfully contained the monster and they’re now interrogating it. This was pretty much Pinkie lightly stepping on me with her hoof while screaming into my face strange questions.

Regardless, Rarity returned, along with another pony. Because Pinkie Pie’s hoof was still pinning me to the floor, I couldn’t see what she looked like, but I could hear a new voice speaking.

“So you say you have no idea how he ended up like that? How intriguing… I would love to borrow him some time, for research purposes, of course…”

“Pinkie Pie! I told you not to hurt him while I was gone!” Rarity yelled.

“Actually, you told me not to kill him,” she lifted her hoof off of me “And besides, he’s totally fine! We’ve just been playing a game”

Now that I was free to move around, I was able to get a glimpse of the new pony. Oddly enough, she looked very familiar, like I’d seen her somewhere before. It all became clear shortly after, when she came up to me, and I was able to see it: she had both wings and a horn. This was Princess Twilight! I was in the presence of an actual goddess now. I didn’t know exactly how to act in this situation, considering the only other time I’d been near a princess was… well, earlier that day, but I was unconscious the whole time anyway. So I just kind of, took a step back when she got really close to me to get a better look.

“Oh! Pardon me,” she said, pulling her head back a bit “My name is Twilight Sparkle, and I’d like to do some tests on you some time”

I didn’t really know how to respond to that, but I knew I couldn’t say no. Even if I was normal sized, I couldn’t just say no to a princess. So I just kind of nodded. Twilight turned to Rarity.

“Is he scared of me? Intimidated, perhaps?”

“I think he just needs some time to get used to you. He’d had plenty of time to soak up both Pinkie and I before he’d said a word to either of us. Give it a little while, and I’m sure he’ll be fine with you, darling. Or maybe he just doesn’t know how to act around royalty.”

“Royalty?” Twilight asked, before noticing her wings again “…Right. Still not really used to this.”

Neither was I, Twilight. Neither was I.

Comments

[Goldenfins]

3186934 No

[FluttaShift]

nice chapter