Sol Don Him

by Razalon The Lizardman

The Surprise

As soon as Rarity and Sol Do finished helping AJ and Big Mac gather all the apples they announced their intention to return to Carousel Boutique to put away their clothes before returning for dinner. The Apples understood and saw them off on their way. All the while they walked, Sol Do was half lost in her romantic thoughts while Rarity pondered how best to inform her cousin of the futility of pursuing a relationship with Big Macintosh.

Okay, Rarity, your cousin may be a little eccentric but she'll still listen to reason. You just have to argue your points and she'll realize she's pursuing nothing more than an idle fantasy. As much as I would love to see her happily settle down with a stallion, I don't want to see her upset over not being able to make it work out. A delicate touch is all that's needed to ensure everything turns out okay.

Upon nearing Carousel Boutique, Rarity cleared her throat to speak. "Pardon me, Sol Do?"

The gem miner snapped from her thoughts and turned to her cousin. "What's up Rares?" she asked kindly.

Rarity cleared her throat again and replied. "You said you've developed a crush on Big Macintosh," she said as she returned her cousin's gaze. "What exactly is it that you see in him which is so attractive?"

Sol Do laughed. "Oh, c'mon cousin, isn't it obvious?" She began listing her points. "One, he's hard-workin'. Two, he's single. Three, he's self-respectful. Four, he's friendly. And five, he's jus' so gosh darn handsome!"

Rarity lifted a curious brow in response. "You discerned all of that from just an hour long encounter?"

Sol Do gave her cousin a knowing smile. "Ah sure as sugar did, not that y'all are a stranger ta easy readin' ponies."

". . . That is true." The two had now reached Carousel Boutique. Rarity took out her key and inserted it into the lock. "But Sol Do, happy as I am that you've found a stallion whom you've found interest in, I sincerely doubt a relationship with Big Macintosh could work out."

Sol Do frowned. "An' why's that?"

"Well, for starters, you live all the way on the other side of Equestria from him." Rarity turned the key and opened the door before stowing it away again. "And you know how the saying goes, 'long distance relationships never work out'."

Sol Do stared blankly for a moment before her frown lifted into a smirk. "Don't be so sure 'bout that, Rares," she replied before stepping inside to which Rarity followed. "But since yer so concerned 'bout this, would ya mind runnin' by me any other reason y'all have fer why it wouldn't work out?"

"Of course," Rarity answered. She continued talking while proceeding to remove her country garb while Sol Do did the same with her dress and hat. "Now, one thing you must be aware of is that rushing into a relationship is foolhardy; I learned this from firsthoof experience." She trotted over to the closet and stuffed her straw hat inside. "As much information as you claim to have gleamed about Big Macintosh, you've yet to even engage in a prolonged conversation with him so you haven't got a complete picture of what he's like."

"Oh, pish pash," Sol Do answered while waving a dismissive hoof. She levitated the hat off her head and over to Rarity. "He can't be any worse than my co-workers; all they do half the time is sit on their lazy rumps watchin' me while Ah dig away in the mines."

Rarity gave a sultry smile. "They must really like what they see," she teased.

Sol Do laughed. "Yeah, course they would." She used her magic to lift her dress up and over her body, revealing her cutie mark (a gem encrusted mining pickaxe), before levitating the dress over to Rarity. "Ah am quite the looker, aren't Ah?"

Rarity measured up her cousin's body and could only agree with her assessment. Whereas the dress had concealed it before, Rarity was now afforded a full view of her cousin's well-toned, drop-dead gorgeous body. It was very much similar in appearance to Rarity's own body, but while the fashionista had a bit more chubbiness to her frame due to being less physically active, Sol Do's body boasted a more slender, lean frame with accented curves to her flanks and legs. It was enough to make Rarity more than a little jealous.

"I suppose you are," Rarity replied once done. She quickly stowed Sol Do's clothes in the closet before removing her blue overalls and doing the same with them. "Anyway, back to the discussion at hoof."

"Well, Ah imagine looks won't be a problem," Sol Do reasoned while doing her best impression of a model strutting down a runway. "What else?"

"Yes, well," Rarity said with a cough, "I've known Big Macintosh for some time now through Applejack and while he's definitely straight, he's more or less indifferent to mares."

"Are y'all sayin' he's misogynistic then?"

"Sweet Celestia, of course not!" Rarity yelled, eyes wide in shock. "Big Macintosh is the perfect gentlecolt, I assure you. It's just that he's never expressed any . . . genuine, interest in romance."

Sol Do narrowed her eyes. "Maybe that's only because he hasn't found a mare he likes." She flipped her mane in a haughty manner. "I'll admit I'm ignorant in regards to what kind of mare he'd like, but I shall manage." She eyed her fashionista cousin challengingly. "I may be a country pony at heart, but I was raised to be a lady and if that's where Big Macintosh's interest lies, I shall have no problem reverting back to such."

". . . Perhaps you're right."

Sol Do gave her cousin a questioning look, clearly waiting for Rarity to bring up another point to support her argument. When Rarity failed to do so, a victorious smile flashed across Sol Do's face. "Now, then, y'all were sayin' somethin' 'bout how long distance relationships don't work out, hmm?"

Rarity nodded. Sol Do's smile changed from victorious to mischievous. "'bout that . . ."

---

"How're them apple fritters comin' along, Granny Smith!?" Applejack called to the olden mare in the kitchen.

"Ah swear, ya young'uns are gonna be the death of me!" Granny Smith answered as she placed what must have been the dozenth tray of apple fritters onto the table. "Next time y'all are gonna show off ta somepony, at least let me know first so Ah can skedaddle on off ta Appleloosa ta hide!"

Applejack snorted out a laugh. "Whatever ya say, Granny!"

A heavy groan sounded from the kitchen, followed by, "Kids these days . . ."

AJ was about to resume packing apple pies into the several picnic baskets lined up in front of her when she heard heavy hoofsteps approaching from behind. Turning around, she saw Big Macintosh carrying an enormous wooden crate on his back.

"Howdy, big brother," Applejack greeted him. She pointed to the kitchen doorway. "Y'all had better go on an' help Granny Smith before she dies of manual labor or somethin'."

Big Mac did a better job of holding back his laughter. "Eeyup," he replied in kind, and slipped into the kitchen.

Applejack returned to packing the apple pies. It took all the orange mare's willpower not to stuff her face full of sweet apple goodness right then as the scent of each pie wafted up into her nostrils, begging her to claim its maker for herself. She hadn't even completely succeeded in her attempts at resistance; one of the pies she'd already packed had a large chunk missing from the edge where she'd torn off a piece when she was sure nopony was looking. As a result, that particular pie would be hers at the picnic.

"Hey sis!"

Applejack turned around once again to find Apple Bloom rolling a wooden barrel across the floor towards her. "Where do ya want this at?" she asked.

Applejack looked at the label painted on the barrel and frowned. "Unfermented Zap Apple Cider? Put that back in the cellar, AB; we ain't havin' any of that at the picnic."

"Why not?" Apple Bloom asked with a whine in her voice. "We've gotta have somethin' ta drink at the picnic, an' we're all outta regular apple cider."

Applejack fixed her sister with a tern gaze that made the filly shrink back. "Zap apple cider ain't like regular apple cider, AB," she warned. "Like zap apples, zap apple cider has an ultra-specific method of preparation that ya absolutely have ta follow or else somepony will get injured drinkin' it." She shook her head. "We ain't got the time ta prepare both it and all the apples we bucked today."

Apple Bloom was about to retort when a knock sounded at the front door.

"Comin'!" Applejack called. She trotted over to and opened the front door, revealing Sol Do and a very anxious-looking Rarity.

"Well howdy," Applejack greeted them with a tip of her hat. "Y'all are a might early; we ain't finished preparin' fer the picnic yet."

"Really?" Rarity said with a nervous laugh. "Oh, how terribly sorry of us. I love fashion, as you know, and if there's one thing that's fashionable it's being late to a party, or picnic in this case." A bead of sweat trickled down her face. "Oh well, since we're here, how about we help with the preparations?"

Applejack looked concerned. "Uh, sure thing, Rares." She looked over her shoulder to Apple Bloom, who was sprawled over the barrel with a look of utter boredom on her face. Applejack gestured to her. "Could one of y'all help AB return that cider barrel to the cellar?"

"Yes, yes we can!" Rarity exclaimed as she used her magic to push Sol Do forward into the house. "And by that I mean Sol Do would be more than happy to do it."

"Wait, what?"

"Oh come now, cousin." Rarity stepped past Applejack, who noticed her sweat but said nothing as Rarity continued. "Do be a dear and help her, please? Why, you could regale her with the tale of how you received your cutie mark."

Apple Bloom's ears perked up and she rushed in front of Sol Do, eyes wide with excitement. Sol Do's annoyance melted away and she adorned a happy grin. "Perhaps I shall then," she replied, and enveloped the barrel in her magic before walking further into the house. "Now, which way to the cellar, darling?"

"Right this way, ma'am," Apple Bloom ran over and opened a door at the end of the hallway. "So, how'd y'all get yer mark?"

Sol Do proceeded down the steps and Apple Bloom followed. "Well, it all started . . ." Her sentence faded away as she descended downwards into the cellar.

"Oh, Sweet Celestia," Rarity said with a sigh as she fell over backwards. "I thought we'd never get away from her."

Applejack frowned. "What're y'all talkin' about, Rarity? Why d'ya want Sol Do outta yer mane so badly that yer sweatin' up a storm over it?"

Rarity got back to her hooves. "We need to talk Applejack."

Applejack raised a brow. "'bout what?"

Rarity sheepishly rubbed the back of her head. "It's about Sol Do," she replied. "She's . . . well, she has a crush on your brother."

Applejack blinked. Then she blinked again. Then her muzzle split into a silly grin before she let out a long, muffled laugh as she held a hoof to her muzzle to keep quiet so nopony else would hear her. Rarity huffed in annoyance and stomped her hoof in response. "I'm serious, Applejack! My cousin has fallen head over hooves for your brother, and she's dead set on making him her special somepony!"

Applejack ceased her laughing and wiped a tear from her eye. "Oh, Ah believe ya, Rares," she said, holding a hoof to her chest to calm down. "It's just that y'all were more antsy than a rabbit in a gryphon's nest a minute ago; Ah was startin' ta think we were under attack or somethin'."

Rarity rolled her eyes. "Laugh all you want, Applejack, but if Sol Do hooks up with your brother and they marry we'll be related." She smirked playfully at the now silent farm mare. "then again, I suppose you'd be okay with that, wouldn't you cous-"

"Okay! Okay! I see why yer so upset," Applejack interrupted her. She took a moment to recompose her shivering hooves as the thought of being related to Rarity seceded from her conscience. "Not like it matters, anyhow, since she lives all the way in Hiddenite."

Rarity nervously chuckled. "Yes, about that . . ."

-----

". . . Ah'm movin' ta Ponyville!" Sol Do exclaimed.

Rarity stared blankly as she felt her rump make hard contact with the floor. "Pardon?" she said.

Sol Do laughed. "Oh, yer such an easy tease, Rares."

The alabaster fashionista sighed in relief. "Oh, thank Celestia then." She giggled. "For a moment there, I was fully convinced you were serious about moving here."

Sol Do made a back-and-forth gesture with her hoof. "I was, and I wasn't, if that makes any sense."

Rarity raised a curious brow. "Whatever do you mean?'

"What Ah mean is, while Ah'm not actually movin' here, Ah'm gonna have a second house in Ponyville fer whenever Ah need a vacation, an' what better vacation spot than the most eventful town in Equestria?"

Rarity stared blankly as her eye twitched.

"Well, Ah'd better get cleaned up," Sol Do said as she began climbing the stairs. "Hmmm, Ah wonder if'n Big Mac likes dirty mares . . ."

-----

"Howdy gals!"

Applejack and Rarity let out two small yelps and jumped in fright at the sound of Sol Do's cheery greeting behind them.

"Sweet Celestia, cousin!" Rarity exclaimed, breathing heavily. "Don't sneak up on us like that ever again!"

"Eh heh, sorry cuz," Sol Do replied with a laugh.

Applejack looked behind the gem miner and frowned at the empty space. "Where's Apple Bloom?" she asked.

Sol Do smiled. "Ah, the little scamp was so enthralled by my cutie mark story that she up an' started diggin' fer gems in yer cellar's floor." She shook her head and sighed. "Ah, the wonders of youthful innocence."

"Yeah," Applejack droned, "but it ain't so wonderful when it costs ya hundreds of bits in damages."

All three mares laughed heartily at that, though Rarity's was more subdued as she wanted Sol Do to leave them alone again so she and Applejack could continue their conversation in privacy. Her chance came in the form of an olden, lime green mare with a bad hip.

"Hey, what're ya young'uns laughin' 'bout in there!?" Granny Smith called from the kitchen. "Mac an' Ah need some help preparin' all this apple food, so c'mon in an' lend a hoof!"

"Sol Do," Rarity said, almost with a stutter, "be a dear and help Miss Smith with the food, okay?"

Her cousin narrowed her eyes. "Y'all are a might bit bossy today, ain't ya cuz?" she chastised Rarity. "Why should Ah?"

More sweat trickled down Rarity's brow, matting her coat and making it stink slightly. Fortunately, she had Applejack to save her. "Listen, Sol Do, why don't ya go on an' help Granny an' Big Macintosh while Rarity an' Ah fetch my sister an' finish packin' the apple pies?" She gave the gem miner a saucy smile. "Big Mac likes a mare who helps a lot."

Sol Do shot her cousin an icy glare. "I see Rarity still has that bad gossiping habit of hers," she said with a hint of disappointment.

Rarity's eye twitched involuntarily as the sweat began ruining her mascara.

Sol Do glared for another moment before sighing and giving them both a sly smile. "It won't change a thing, however; Big Mac's gonna be mine." She then trotted into the kitchen, leaving an anxious Applejack and a downright paralyzed Rarity behind in stunned silence.

That silence was broken a few moments later by Applejack, who turned to Rarity with an expression of pity. "Has yer cousin always been so . . ."

"Assertive?" Rarity interrupted.

"Ah was gonna say she's plum crazy, but Ah guess that's a more appropriate description." Applejack shuddered. "And if'n she's gonna buy a second house right here in Ponyville . . ." She trailed off as she shuddered, more vigorously, again.

"I know what you mean," Rarity replied. She let out a breath she hadn't realized she was holding and sighed. "As much as I love my cousin, I wouldn't want her living in the same town as me for everypony else's sake, but there's nothing we can do about that now can we?"

Applejack sighed herself. "Ah guess not, but as fer gettin' hitched with my brother, Ah don't know what we can do."

Rarity looked downcast in thought for a moment before returning her gaze to Applejack. "Perhaps we should just let things run their course on this one, Applejack." She smiled as the farm mare matched her gaze with a confused expression. "Sol Do is truly interested in Big Macintosh, but unless he reciprocates those feelings nothing will come of it. Let's just wait and see how your brother responds to any advances my cousin makes on him before we take any sort of action."

". . . Ah guess yer right,' Applejack replied with a small smile. "C'mon, let's fetch Apple-"

"Hey sis!"

The two mares turned to see Applejack's little sister galloping down the main hallway toward them; she was holding something long, cylindrical, and coated with mud and grime in her mouth. Once she reached them she let the object fall to the ground with a resounding clang, making Rarity flinch as bits of mud flew off and toward her, and grinned excitedly at them.

"Hey, look what Ah found in the dirt down in the cellar, big sis!" She began prancing in place. "It ain't a gem, but whatever it is it's gotta be worth a lot of bits if'n it was buried under the ground, right?" Her eyes went wide and glimmered. "Is it an artifact from some long lost pony civilization? Or maybe a piece of some sort of abandoned Diamond Dog burrow? Ooh ooh ooh, Ah bet it's a piece of one of Smart Cookie's machines from way back when!"

Applejack looked down at the object and, after little more than a momentary examination, facehoofed. "Apple Bloom?" she said.

"Yeah, sis!?" Apple Bloom eagerly replied.

"That there is a drainage pipe for our house."

Apple Bloom frowned. "What?"

"Ah ain't gettin' any water!" Granny Smith called from the kitchen. "The darn sink's busted again!"

". . . Oh."

Comments

[Gustauve]

lol. I broke a drainage pipe once while digging as well. It was terrible; my father whipped me so bad I couldn't sit for hours. My brothers mercilessly taunted me, calling me 'Grund-pipesmesher' and other such horrible things for years to come. My mother called me a dumkopf and my sisters all just laughed at me. The worst part of it all was that I was told by my father to dig so that we could make a new septic tank - so I was punished because he didn't know where the plumbing was.
I hate them all so much... So very much.

[Razalon The Lizardman]

4067637 *gives hugs*

[Gustauve]

4067927
Ack, get away, I don't want your pity!
lol. But thank you. My childhood sucked so very much, and I'm glad to be rid of it. The only family I really need these days are my Wife and cats; they don't suck.