Lost and Far From Home

by KyleAJ

Questionnaire

Questionnaire

“Hello? Earth to Twilight!” Ness said, trying to get Twilight’s attention.

“Huh? What? What is it?” she replied in a recovery from her dazed state.

“Wow, you totally zonked out for like an hour! Well, it was more like a couple of minutes, but still,” Ness said barely containing his laughter.

“Wait, why was I ‘zonked out’?”

“Oh man, you took one bite of that magic pudding and just went crazy. I’m surprised you didn’t eat the bowl. I swear you were trying to eat that pudding faster that physically possible!” Ness paused to stop laughing. “When you were finished, you just stared straight ahead, off in your own little world for like five days.”

“Don’t listen to him, it was more like five minutes,” Spike said. ”Are you alright Twilight? How do you feel?”

“I feel... Thankful, like I’ve gained a new perception on my life. I feel thankful to all of my friends, you included Spike. I wouldn’t know what I would do without you. I also feel thankful to you, Ness, my newest friend. Thank you for that wonderful, magical, mysterious pudding.”

“Wow,” Spike said, “D’ya think I could have some of that pudding Ness?”

“I dunno, I kinda want to save some for later; you never know when you might need it next,” said Ness, basically describing his mentality on all of his items. “Besides, you didn’t say please.”

“What!?” Spike sighed, “Fine,” and mumbled something about favouritism under his breath.

“Ness, when we get back to the library, I hope you don’t mind if I ask you some questions, there is so much I’d like to hear now that I feel so... charged, for lack of a better word, with magic and energy.”

“Library? Questions? Aww man, I didn’t think I was gonna be tested on this!” Ness said dejectedly.

“Don’t worry; it won’t be as bad as you think. I just want to know about you, your home, family, life, and those weird words you use; like ‘man’, and ‘Earth’. I’m surprised you used such an old word in seemingly modern speech. Speaking of speech; I’d also like to know how we are speaking the same language.”

“For that last bit about language, I thought everyone spoke the same language. The Tenda tribe spoke it, the Saturn people spoke it, and heck, even the Starmen spoke it.”

“Really? Well that just brings up even more questions.”

“Oh poop.”

---

By now, the trio had made their way to the edge of Ponyville. The residents of the town were met with the sight of Twilight Sparkle being ridden by Spike with a strange creature walking along side the two. The figure was about the same height as Twilight, who was in turn the average size of a pony, and wore clothes on most of its body. It was an odd sight for the ponies that were finally coming outside due to the awful smell of the morning going away. When they saw that the oddity walked alongside Twilight Sparkle, one of the resident guardians of Equestria, any notion of fear vanished. It was replaced by feelings of wonder and suspicion.

A certain pink pastry chef ran, or rather ‘bounced’, from her residence and up to the unlikely trio. She stared quizzically at the third unknown ‘definitely-not-a-pony-or-dragon-but-doesn’t-seem-to-be-evil-thing’.

“Hey Twilight! Who is that?” She paused for a gasp, “Is that a new pony who’s just come into town? Well it’s not really a pony, or a dragon for that matter, but I’ve also never seen it, her, or him before, and you know what that means! It’s time for a wel-“ She was cut off by Twilight jamming a hoof into her mouth.

“Pinkie, please listen to me for a minute.”

“Ugh, fine. But don’t take too long; I have a party to plan for this new whatchamacallit here!” she said, pointing a hoof at Ness.

“Yes, about that; you’re going to have to postpone that party, I have many questions to ask Ness here.”

“Whoa whoa whoa, I get a say in this don’t I?”

Pinkie gasped again, “You can talk? Well of course you can talk, you just did! Oh, I have so many questions to ask you, like ‘do you like parties?’ and...” she paused for a moment, “Well that’s the only one that I can think of right now but I might have some later!” She was bouncing with excitement.

“That actually doesn’t sound so bad, Lead the way pink pony!”

Twilight sighed, “Ness, come with me to library so we can get started as soon as possible.”

“Are you sure you don’t want a party, new bestest friend?” countered Pinkie.

“Psh, I love parties! See ya Twilight Whatever, I’m going to a party!”

Before Twilight could react, Ness had run away with Pinkie Pie, or was it the other way around? Anyway, Ness and Pinkie had run off and left Twilight in the middle of the road. Twilight frowned and mumbled about getting the information sooner or later. She then sighed once more before walking slowly in the direction of her library.

---

He did recognize the meteor shower. The Commander realized that the natural occurrence was not as natural as it seemed. His memories sent him back to when he first saw it, fighting side by side with the one who had failed him. Time had dulled his memory, he did not know the name or the face of the one who failed, only the fact of failure remained. But if what he saw was true, then his plans of strengthening his forces were in jeopardy.

The Commander activated the intercom; “There is an enemy in our midst. I have fought to defeat him, but I failed alone. We must stand tall and destroy this menace that dares go by the name: Poo”

---

Ness was walking alone down the street to where he was told the party would be. That pink pony had run off in the direction of a life sized gingerbread house after telling him she had to get ready for the party. Thinking he could get a sample of some of the cake or candies that would surely be at the party, he decided to follow the pink one to the house.

Suddenly a thought occurred to Ness as he stopped walking; this entire town seemed sort of... ‘Girly’. Now that he thought about it, he realized that he was following a pink pony to a party. If his sister’s parties were any reference, the party that had been offered to him for... pretty much nothing was probably going to be a girly, princess-y, boring party.

Fortunately, the promise of cake was too tempting for Ness to resist. Besides, it’s not like anyone was here to make fun of him for it! He started walking again at a slow pace toward the gingerbread house; it was time for cake!

A short walk later, and Ness had arrived at the building the simply defied conventional knowledge by being made out of bread, gingerbread, to be exact. The door, a bright pink, was slightly ajar, “Ugh, pink; so girly,” He thought. He went through the plan in his head; “I’ll go in, offer help, ‘sample’ possible goodies, exit, and kill time until the proper party. Simple enough, what could go wrong?” he thought. “Uh oh, ‘what could go wrong?’ even I know that is the signal for things to go wrong... No, it’s alright; I just need to forget I thought that.” After some hesitation, and time spent franticly trying to un-think a certain phrase, Ness pushed open the pink door.

He poked his head inside and looked around, “that can’t be right,” he thought, “the lights are off; I can’t see anything.”

“Hello?” he said, but his words were absorbed by the dark room.

Against what many would consider common sense, he entered the foreboding inky blackness and shut the door behind him. His mind flashed back to his time in Threed where he was ambushed in a room by a crowd of local zombies. He got a disturbing vision of the ponies he had met as zombies. Banishing that thought to the back of his mind, back with the memories of the regular zombies, he continued into the middle of the room.

All of a sudden the light flashed on, temporarily blinding him. He flinched, covering up his face with his hands.

“Surprise!” a familiar voice shouted from the now less blinding light.

“I... uh... what?” stuttered Ness.

“This is welcome party, silly. I throw everypony who is new in town a super duper welcome party so they can make friends and have a super fun time!”

“Awesome! But didn’t I just see you come into here? How did you even plan a party that fast, and where did all these ponies come from?”

“Because parties are my super special talent, that’s why!”

“Wow, you sure are fast.”

“Oh don’t be silly, this was easy to put together. I had a bunch of party supplies just lying around just screaming to be put up! And this is a bakery after all, so the cake is easy to get, they’re pretty much lying all over the place!” she exclaimed waving a hoof all around the room before stopping a cupboard that looked like it’s sole purpose was for cake storage.

“Awesome! Can I get the first slice of cake? It’s my party after all.”

“Sure! Here you go, and don’t forget to make tons of friends, that’s the purpose of this party after all!” she said as she ‘hoof’ed him a large slice of cake.

“Thanks! But I don’t even know your name yet...”

“Oh right, how could I have forgotten to introduce myself, I’m Pinkie Pie, and I love to throw parties!”

“Alrighty then, I’ll see you later,” he hesitated for a moment, “Pinkie,” his mind struggling with the awkwardness of the word coming out of his mouth. He never thought this entire world could be so girly. He took a big bite of the piece of cake, thinking to himself silently. “Okay, as long as nobody is here to see this I guess it’s alright if I’m around these girly ponies.” Ness unconsciously backed up to a wall to eat his cake and observe the crowd of ponies that seemed to be fine just socializing with themselves.

A mint green unicorn walked up to Ness and sized him up. “You’re that new not-pony that Pinkie said she was throwing this party for, aren’t you?”

“Yeah, probably”

“You’re weird lookin’, I’ll tell you that.” She, or at least Ness thought it sounded like a she, said before walking away, back into the crowd.

“That wasn’t so bad, if not a little rude, oh well,” he thought to himself, “in fact, that was pretty easy. I don’t know what I was so worried about. Ness then remembered something very important as he reached into his backpack. He pulled out a large two-fingered pinch of Stardust and sprinkled it on his slice of cake. With his cake properly sprinkled with his new favourite condiment, he took a big bite, savouring the mix of sweetness and delicious cake.

Ness was approached by two more ponies. One was orange with a blonde mane and the other was a pure sky-blue with an interesting rainbow mane.

“Hey there ponies! I’m Ness, I am the one this party is being thrown for!”

“Well hey there yourself Sugarcube, welcome ta Ponyville Ness,” said the orange one.

“Yeah, welcome to Ponyville, I’m Rainbow Dash, the fastest pony all of Equestria!”

“Now Dash, don’t be too boastful. Oh right, I forgot ta tell ya mah name! Ah’m Applejack!”

“Hello Rainbow Dash, and hello Applejack, Pleased to meet you as well.”

“Ah hope ya don’t mind me askin’, but what in Equestria are ya?” said Applejack in her unique southern drawl.

“I’m a human boy, but I am actually much more powerful than I look. I am also still pretty young, but well traveled! And by that I mean I have traveled the four corners of my home world, unless this is my home world...”

“Wait a minute, just how old are you? You sound pretty young,” said Rainbow Dash.

“Well, I’m only eleven years old, but I’m really experienced!”

“Only eleven? Wow, that is pretty young, are ya sure ya don’t miss your folks back home?”

“Well, kinda. But I could always go home at any time.” Ness said, his happy buzz from the cake wearing off.

“Really? If you were half a world away, how could go home without wings?” Rainbow Dash said, flaring her wings.

“Oh, that’s simple, I teleported!”

Applejack and Rainbow Dash gaped at each other for a split second.

“Y’all can use magic? But not only that, but powerful magic like teleportin’?”

“It really doesn’t take that much energy, really.”

“I bet Twilight would love to talk to you about all that egghead unicorn magic stuff”

“Oh, about that... I kinda ditched her to go to this party... Oops?”

“Aw, don’t worry about it Sugarcube, I would’ve chosen the party over talkin’ to twilight about magic ‘n stuff. Speakin’ o’ which, where is she? I’da thought she’d be here.”

“She said she wanted to take me to the library, now I feel guilty about ditching Twilight, I better go see her. Do either of you know where the library is?”

“Oh yeah, it’s pretty much in the center of town.”

“Well, it’s been a pleasure Rainbow Dash and Applejack, I guess I’ll see you later!”

“Bye Ness, come ta Sweet Apple Acres when ya get the chance!”

“Yeah, I guess I’ll see you around too.”

Ness left his party with his unfinished, now regular sized, piece of cake put away safely in his backpack. He headed to the center of town, to the library. He started thinking about what he would say to the purple pony in the library. “She’s probably the librarian, I wonder, could offer her a book?” He searched his backpack once more in search of a book fit for an apology. He was wondering where the book ‘Overcoming Shyness’ was, but then he remembered that the Tenda tribe hadn’t returned the book to him yet. He almost gave up, but then he saw it; the Shyness Book, nestled deep in a pocket, along with another note addressed to him.

The note read; “Hello again Ness, this book no longer has a part back home. However, the book has a role here, so here you go, use it well!”

Creepy. Useful, but creepy. With his book and no doubt magical backpack, he set off to the library for a thorough question period from a certain purple unicorn.

---

[Looks like the title might be a little misleading, oh well. Hope you enjoyed. Please provide any feedback you want, you have a right to your own opinion. Thanks for reading!]

Comments

[Mother3Forever]

This is getting good!...*sighs* If only it had Lucas, Kumatora, or Duster......I wanna play Mother3 now. Dang.

[NotABrony1]

This is relevant to my interests

[KyleAJ]

358586

If only indeed, I would do it, but I can't just introduce new characters just because I feel like it. Besides, I haven't really finished Mother 3 yet...

Still, I'm glad you like it!

[EndGamer]

So, it appears that Poo has become....

The Great Mighty Poo

[Frost]

358586 There are four fics of that. None of them are actually crossovers.
Based on this game and the fourth wall in it, I'll just guess and say that the person who gave him his equipment and the book is... the author himself!