A pegsi from cloudsdale crash lands in Ponyville and finds himself in the company of two welcoming mares
“I also think your daughter is...Cute!”
This part made me laugh so hard!
the cute was supposed to be smaller as to symbolize starstruck passing out but the copy and paste reverted back to normal text.
As much as I like this story, it needs to be edited heavily. When I first started reading the grammar mistakes in the first chapter were making this unpleasent to read. So as a suggestion please do try to edit this if you want more readers.
3312537
thanks for feed back!
I'm going to go over the grammer for all previous chapters over the next few days and see if i can make it better.
my grammer has been getting better as i've had help from other editors, however this story i'm trying to write without help.
This part made me laugh so hard!
the cute was supposed to be smaller as to symbolize starstruck passing out but the copy and paste reverted back to normal text.
As much as I like this story, it needs to be edited heavily. When I first started reading the grammar mistakes in the first chapter were making this unpleasent to read. So as a suggestion please do try to edit this if you want more readers.
3312537
thanks for feed back!
I'm going to go over the grammer for all previous chapters over the next few days and see if i can make it better.
my grammer has been getting better as i've had help from other editors, however this story i'm trying to write without help.