- Member Since 24th Aug, 2013
- offline last seen Sunday
Applepip
Just your average pony nothing to see here!
Applepip
Joined 24th Aug, 2013 ·
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Moar pwease
Not too bad, looking forward to the next chapter
lol
looking forward to the next chapter also
nice chapter except that i have rainbow dash following my mouse and blocking the word's sometime's
glad you injoy it lol
Story started off good and now its just downright random and creepy. Why did the 3 mares go dominatrix on him? And he enjoys them doig all that to him?
3255237
lol because thats how i wrote them, and if you read the first part he had no idea why he loved it he just did. it will all be explained in future chapters.
also it is not what you would expect from Derpy, Bon Bon and Lyra.
well fuck
shit got too real too fast
but lets see how the next chapter will go
I shall say it again but in a better mood..........WELL FUCK
this story is random and funny as hell. went from heat induced romance, to sexy times, to "shit just got real" and now its just funny
If it was my choice then I would take Lyra and give nothing to bon bon. She did almost kill you.... Apparantly
3283698
I know thats what you would think i would do, but Bon Bon was high on lust and sexual stimuli when she bit his wing. If she had known the vein cluster was there then she wouldn't have done it.
but then i had to throw in some danger, because it was his first time doing it and sometimes as we all know; first times never go down well!
After the next chapter he will have his revenge!
Next chapter in coming over next couple of days and it will be a long one!!
the cute was supposed to be smaller as to symbolize starstruck passing out but the copy and paste reverted back to normal text.
As much as I like this story, it needs to be edited heavily. When I first started reading the grammar mistakes in the first chapter were making this unpleasent to read. So as a suggestion please do try to edit this if you want more readers.
3312537
thanks for feed back!
I'm going to go over the grammer for all previous chapters over the next few days and see if i can make it better.
my grammer has been getting better as i've had help from other editors, however this story i'm trying to write without help.
Ok. This chapter has officially confused the hell out of me...... I like it.
You are in for an interesting night mate!!
Sad about the wings
Other than that, since the sex scene was good enough and the storyline was good, i am now following you. Congrats, you have a new stalker!
3377087
cheers, thought i would have one sooner or later
But thanks for the follow.
I will update in the next week or so but currently working on my other stories.
If this is indeed the final chapter before any possible sequels, you should probably mark it as complete as a courtesy to future readers.
That said, I'd kind of like to know if Derpy said yes. I mean, it's fairly obvious, but it would be nice to have it explicitly stated...
3645001
cheers didn't realise i didn't click complete but i do have a possible sequel however that won't be done till next year.
Well that was fast! What week or two, maby and already asking door marriage.
I can't believe I did not fave this ages ago when I read this. By luck I saw that it had been updated and I now I will favorite and receive email notifications. I Thought I had faved it but never mind.
Happy holidays.
I thought Lyra was mint green, not light blue.
4451138
Edited!
Thanks for that! Been along time since I wrote this story and I never noticed that.
So far, so good. Now, let's see how Bon Bon handles her turn.
Starstruck has been a naughty boy. Now, he is going to get spanked.
Damn good story!!!
I like the newly revised version. I can't wait for the newly revised versions of the rest of the story.