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I have the shiniest meat bicycle!

Krieg felt the burning pain as his body was re-materialised. His legs started to form, slowly growing their veins. Krieg, though his head had not yet materialised, groaned internally. The pain was excruciating, like a thousand red-hot needles piercing his skin, all at once. But he loved it. The pain was what kept him going.

Krieg stretched, groaning from the pain. He couldn't remember much. Pain, the blood, then blank. He shook his head, trying to remember something. Anything. But there was nothing. Krieg snarled. He hated thinking more than he hated Hyperion. Hyperion. Hyperion, Hyperion. He ran the word through his head. Who were they? Krieg snarled, turning round.

There was some strange object in front of him. It was yellow, tall, slim. It had some strange antennae on the top, with a
probe-like sphere. Krieg raised his eyebrows. Despite his chaos-filled mind, which never did much more than want to kill, he was strangely inquisitive.

Krieg poked the foreign object, wandering what it did. He walked round the side of it, scanning for any clue as to what it was. He saw something, letters, though they meant nothing to him. He squinted, still struggling to see what it read. "Hyperion
New-U" What did that mean?

He opened up a panel, inspecting the wires, a jumble of green, yellow, and red. His head throbbed, but thankfully the voice hadn't spoken yet. Krieg touched a wire, which sparked and sent a bolt of electricity through his veins. He jumped back, snarling at the New-U. He pulled out his Maggie, one of the most powerful guns in Pandora.

Placing his hand on the trigger, and the other on the hammer, Krieg slammed both at the same time. Bullets shot out at massive speed, annihilating the New-U's control panel. Some of the bullets ricocheted, flying off in all directions. The magazine now emptied, Krieg grinned. There was smoke billowing out the top of the New-U, but that wasn't enough for Krieg.

He leaped onto the New-U, pounding it with his fists. He tore out wires, dented plates, demolished steel. He snapped the antennae off the top, driving it deep into the New-U. Krieg's bloodshot eyes saw nothing but red, his rage was building up again. He balled his hands into fists, and pounded on the antennae.

With every strike it was driven deeper and deeper into the core. The jagged end pierced Kriegs skin every time he hit it, but he didn't care. It only fueled his rage. 'STRIP THE FLESH! SALT THE WOUNDS!' He screamed out, all the rage finally being let out. Krieg jumped into the air, and with all his might, slammed both his feet onto the antennae.

The New-U exploded, sending Krieg backwards with alarming force. Oil rocketed out of the wires, showering Krieg with the thick liquid. Shrapnel pierced his skin, some of them bouncing off his shield. Flames licked at Krieg’s feet, and he snapped awake.

He jumped backwards, snarling at the flames. Batting at them with his foot, they were soon extinguished. Krieg suddenly heard some strange music coming from nearby. He turned his head round, and saw a large balloon coming down from the clouds.

_________________________

Twilight rested in the basket of the balloon, the “MLP” theme song playing loudly. She had been through this process about about 50 times, while the camera-ponies followed her. They were filming their reality TV show, which was then sent to Earth. “My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic” it was titled, and it showed their daily adventures.

They weren’t allowed to swear on camera, because the show was made for kids. There were a bunch of followers, who called themselves “Bronies”. They adored the show, and wished it was real. Which it actually was. But none of the Bronies knew that.

Smiling to herself as she broke through the clouds, she wandered to herself. What’s gonna happen today?

Her question was soon answered as a strange-looking creature came bounding up the trees. It seemed to be on a trajectory with the balloon, and it looked angry. ‘Uh... Twi?’ Spike poked at Twilight’s back, as he had also noticed the creature.

It looked like a human, but it was terribly muscular. And psychotic. Twilight had no idea what to do, so she just stared at the human. It continued its rampage up the trees, with seemingly no caution.

It locked eyes with Twilight, the distance between them only about 10 meters now. ‘Spike, get behind me.’ Twilight’s voice was laced with fear and caution. The creature straightened up, looking about 4 meters in height.

It pulled something out, a heavy looking stick. The sun reflected off of the stick, making it hard for Twilight to see it clearly. The human, Twilight had now decided that’s what it was, shifted the stick. The sun stopped shining into Twilight’s eyes, and she saw clearly now.

It was a heavy metal stick, with an axe at the tip. The human looked extremely dangerous, threatening. It’s face lifted slightly, into what Twilight guessed was a smile. She couldn’t tell, the human was wearing a mask, which covered his mouth.

It let out an eardrum smashing roar, so loud that Twilight screamed in pain. ‘Twi!’ Spike ran to his friends side, checking to see if she was okay. She was fine. Spike stood up, considerably smaller than the human, but he made an effort to look tough.

‘How dare you hurt Twilight!’ Spike turned to the camera-ponies. ‘Cut the tape! We can’t send this to Earth!’ The ponies nodded, quickly putting away their equipment. Spike turned back to the human, who was now only 5 meters away.

The human roared, launching himself off the tree and in the balloon-basket. Spike punched at the human’s knee, and got no reaction. The human growled, swatting Spike to the side with a large hand. It grinned, and swung his stick at the balloon, puncturing it instantly.

With a loud scream, the trio plummeted towards the ground.

Author's Note:

I've tried to pay attention to detail, but keep in mind this chapter was a bit rushed. Krieg is one crazy f**ker

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