What's real?

by Dubstep Tree

Drunk and Almost Mugged...

In the cold wintry morning of Ponyville and other areas in Equestria. An 8 year old colt who was orange colored, his mane and tail were creme colored as he had cocoa colored swirls patterned in his mane; ditto with the left side of his eye. His older brother had awoken from his slumber, yawning and descending from his bed he had the scent of eggs waft in his nostrils. Grabbing his black square framed glasses and placing them upon his face behind his blurred eyes. Trotting in where his little brother was, cooking eggs for them to eat for breakfast.

"Are those eggs?" The older brother replied to the colt he lived with.

The little 8 year old colt nodded and turned his head toward his older brother, "Yup! Do you want some?!" He asked before turning around to concentrate on his cooking once more.

"Um... sure.." His older brother had a troubling expression upon his face, "Creme... where did you get those eggs now that I ask.."

"I uh... found them..." Creme responded quickly, he didn't want his brother Poison Luck to think he was a thief. He had taken the eggs from Fluttershy's chicken coop when his brother wasn't there and Fluttershy was sleeping.

"Hmm... okay."

Creme Soda smiled cheerfully relieved his brother had bought the lie, "So! How has everything been?!"

Poison Luck sighs and rolls his eyes, "Wouldn't ya know? You live with me for Celestia's sake!"

"Is it okay not to ask?" Creme replied with a hint of hostility trapped in his tone like a bird trapped in it's cage.

"Um.. no of course not. It's okay!"

"Okay then Poison."

Poison Luck made a hissing noise to himself as he bonked his head with a hoof, "Idiot!" He hissed under his breath. Afterwards he chuckled and ruffled Creme's mane, "So whatcha been up to squirt?!"

Creme Soda looked up towards the ceiling and thought for a few short moments, "Mmmm... Nothing really... I don't know.." His older brother took a seat and Creme served him the eggs. Taking a bite of the eggs Poison widens his eyes surprised.
"Are they good?! I tried my best."

"Um.." Poison started as he rose from the table remembering he had to go do his job. "..yeah they're good."

"Thanks!" Creme Soda then trotted to the table and gave his older brother a hug for his compliment on his eggs. "You're the best brother ever!" He gushed hugging him harder in his grasp.

Poison had coughed as his little brother squeezed him harder. "T-thanks. That means a lot.. oh god! To me." He finally got his breathing back when Creme let go of him. Poison patted his head and smiled, "Listen.. I'll be back tonight. I'm going on a job."

Creme's smile faded as his head went in a downward position, "Okay... see ya later then.."

Match Box and Flash trotted and approached the house a few days later from the hospital. Match yawns and fixes his eyes on his older brother.
"So... do you think the doc wants me to take is easy for a while?" He asked casually, being relieved he didn't have to in there anymore. He really was so glad because he wouldn't have to eat the food there anymore; unless he somehow got into another accident and had to go back there for another long while.

"You tell me. Can you walk alright?!"

Right when Flash had said that Match Box immediately walked a few hoof steps forward. He stumbled a bit before regaining his balance.

"It seems you'll be fine then." Flash said as he helped him a little when Match Box had stumbled at that moment. He nodded at Flash for thanks before replying. "What time should I be back Flash? I don't want to.... worry anypony."

Flash gave his younger brother a strange stare, for he was surprised at Match's sudden outburst of wanting to go somewhere. "Be back from where? Where are you going?"

"Just going into town.." He protested with a flick of his dark and light blue short striped tail.

"For what?!"

"Nothing really.. I just need to think for a while."

Flash inhaled and then exhaled, "I suppose.. but as long as I go with you. I don't want you to hurt yourself... or others..."

The dark grey pegasus and the brown unicorn trotted together in a content manner in the town of Ponyville near the shopping areas. Match Box looked around warily and nervous, his brother Flash noticed right away and he gave him a look of worry.

"What's wrong?"

"N-nothing... I'm fine!"

"You sure you don't wanna talk about it?!"

Match had flattened his ears annoyed as he changed the subject about the weather instead. He surely did not want to share what was bugging him deep down inside his soul, which he found useless anyways. "Hasn't it been very cold lately?!" He blurted out while his smile quivered nervously upon his face.

"Uh... yeah?" Flash responded confused how they got to the subject of what was bugging him to the weather. Flash shook his head His mind works in mysterious ways...

"I hate it... it makes my feathers cold.." His eyes grew darker for a moment before returning to it original emerald green state.

Match's older brother sighed and took off his coat giving it to him, "Uh.. here take this." He had helped Match Box put on the coat. The coat was a black leather coat that their father used to wear when they were only little colts.

"Thank you?" Match Box replied as a confused expression formed quickly.

"I don't need it, it used to be our father's coat."

When he heard that it was his father's coat, Match suddenly got depressed as he wore the coat, "Oh.... yeah.... I remember......"

"Oh also... take this. You need this more than I do." Flash had a hint of humor in his tone as he levitated a bottle of Scotch Whiskey from the coats pockets, he gave it to Match and smiled smug like.

"How come this?!" Flash didn't say a word as he awaited for Match Box to make his decision. After a few minutes of thinking this over the emerald green eyed pegasus shrugged and started to drink a little from the bottle Flash had bestowed upon him.

Many minutes had passed when Match started to feel different. He felt happy and bubbly. His brain couldn't think clearly but he knew it was functioning like it should, so he had no argument about it.

"So.. uh what now?!" Match broke the silence not realizing he had forgotten what they were going to do. He then randomly snuggled the Whiskey bottle which looked like only a quarter of it had been drunk.

Flash cocks his head to side and regrets this instantly, "We were going to the store remember?"

"Oh.. yeah! I forgot for a minute there! Heh heh heh..."

"Had a little too much already eh?" Flash was entirely amused as Match denied this because of his lust for the alcohol.

"Nope!" He replied with a friendly tipsy giggle.

The brown unicorn smiled and nodded, "Alright then. Come on." As they trekked again to the toy store Flash opened the door to their destination. "What were you going to buy?"

"I have no idea..: Match stood there with a dumb look on his face.

"Then why are we here?!" Flash asked while face hoofing.

Match Box tapped his chin when his face suddenly lit up, "Because I need to get something!!" The stallion almost fell over when he laughed. Flash stood there near him trying not to laugh at this whole scene his tipsy brother was causing.

"Yo! What's that?!" He asked pointing at a regular sized box on one of the shelves in the store.

"It's a box.."

"Oh, T-then what's that?!" Match pointed at another box but it was larger then the first one he asked about.

"That's a bigger box."

"Boxes are weird!!!"

Frustrated, Flash put a hoof on his brother's shoulder, "Come on. Let's find your thing.

"What thing?!" Match Box asked giggling even more, he even hiccuped. How ridiculous he was and he didn't realize it.

"The thing you were going buy...!"

"I don't remember crap!"

After a few brief shortstops he suddenly remembers and drinks a little more of the Scotch, even if he wasn't supposed to the store clerk seemed to take not mind in seeing this. They just some how.. ignored it. "I think... I think it's this way!!" He finally said, running down the aisle like a little colt who took no mind of his actions. When the stallion skidded to a halt bubbly and tipsy like he swayed a little as he stared momentarily at the box that he was going to buy for Flash's kids. Pretty much a Christmas present for them. He shakily pointed at it hoping his older brother would carry it for him, he seemed to be getting worse and more hilarious by the minute as the Scotch affected him.

"Okay." Flash looked at his brother and then at the box he was pointing at, he picked it up with his magic gently as they made their way to the store counter.

"What's inside that?!" Match asked before almost falling over once more. Match Box was officially at the rank of drunkard.

"You're the one buying it... you tell me?!"

"Meh... I don't know!" His words slurred a tad bit and Flash could hear this too. "Let meh look!!" The dark grey stallion then proceeded to open the box. When he opened he laughed, "OH!!!" At that moment Flash snatched it away from Match Box.

"You could get in trouble for opening stuff in the store!"

"Rules are stupid!!" Match Box replied with hostility and humor in his voice, he had completely not even took a care or consideration to what Flash had just told him.

Flash brushed some of his mane out of his face, he huffed and responded in annoyance, "I want YOU to stay right HERE! Just do NOTHING! While I pay for this." When Flash saw his younger brother nod obediently, he smiled and left Match Box alone for a bit. After a few seconds Match Box stared up at the white stained ceiling that looked like when it rained it may have dripped inside the store. Then his head quickly was in the direction of the glass door. Thinking his face became confused,

"What am I doing here?!" He asked himself before gingerly and drunkenly staggering out into the cold, there was some snow on the ground but Match didn't seem to care. When ponies were drunk they didn't seem to care if they were in pain, cold or maybe sad?

Singing to himself he trotted into an empty alleyway and drinks what's left of the whiskey.
"Hmm.. I wonder what I'm going to do... I am so bored as hell right now!" A salmon colored mare told herself, she was laying on her back on top of a building roof. She seemed to be wearing a yellow ribbon around her right front leg near her hoof.

Match Box whistled before suddenly falling over, he was so drunk from drinking the whole bottle he couldn't seem to walk right, "Flash!!! I fell and gotta boo boo!!" He yelled before laughing himself silly that his sides began hurting from the amount of laughter he was letting out by himself in an alleyway.

The salmon coated mare shot up her ears in bewilderment, "Who the hell was that?!" She then got up from her laying down position and looked down from the roof top she laid upon a few seconds ago.

"SANTA!! He's flying in the sky on Christmas Eve!!!" Match Box yelled out, he suddenly passed out on the cold and disgusting ground.

The mare known as Ribbon Silk smirked mischievously, Seems another drunkard has come to get mugged.. heh.. Ribbon calmly climbed down from the roof and landed one foot away from the drunk stallion in the leather coat. Prodding her hooves at his sides she responded with a very stern and serious tone, "Hey drunkard! Wake up!!"

Confused Match woke up, "Huh..?" He solemnly looked up and saw the mare, "H-hi there! You're pwetty!" He smiled stupidly.

"Um.. thanks?" She replied confused at this drunk stallion, he was acting so loopy. But who could blame him? He was drunk and he had no idea what he was doing!

"I like your hair! It's so blonde!! And.. uh.. dat cutie mark looks so cute on your flank!" He noticed that the mare blushed a little hiding her ribbon and glitter cutie mark with her long blonde tail. Match Box noticed a bird was flying above them in the sky away from the alleyway. "LOOK! UP IN THE SKY!!! A thing is flying up thar!!" Match had pointed at the bird like it was the "thing" that mattered the most. "Since when do those things fly?!"

Ribbon was starting to think this whole mugging thing was a bad idea, never in her life had she encountered anypony this drunk before! Maybe a few tipsy stallions but not one who fell over and thought a bird was the big thing to stop and drop everything to watch how useless it was when everypony sees birds everyday!

"Holy CRAP!!! It landed over there!!!"

"Um...."

Match Box had suddenly stood up and leaned against the bricked wall that was nearest to him for support so he wouldn't fall over again.

What the f*ck is he doing?! When she was about to go near him he had stumbled over to her and briefly smacking her flank. Ribbon squeaked and backed up from him.

"Oops! My hoof slipped." He responded, he then fell over and laughed, he pounded his hooves on the ground. Match was absolutely dying. After his laughing fest had ended he stared at the mare goofy like. "Hey lady! May I ask?! Whatcha doing?!" Before she could responded he randomly changed his expression to a smirk, "You're really sexy. May I kiss you?!"

Ribbon Silk's face was now flushed red, she could not believe he actually had the nerve to ask her that. "Yes! I mean no!!" What am I doing?! Well he is kinda cute.. what am I saying?! He's drunk! I was going to steal all his money!!!

"You're funny!" Match Box said as he laughed hysterically, he was entertaining himself.

Ribbom sighed and before she could slip away from all this awkwardness the dark grey stallion had suddenly made her fall over. She looked up and saw that he was on top of her; in an alleyway!!. When no action was made Match Box began to kiss the mare. Ribbons salmon cheeks were starting to turn rosy red as he did not stop. Sided from the whiskey taste in his mouth she seemed to enjoy this.

For minutes that have past in this moment Match didn't stop until he heard his brother Flash call out for him.
"Match!! Where the heck are you?! Come out here this instant!! I don't wanna deal with your drunken ass!!!"

Match Box broke away the kiss and got off of the salmon mare, "Oh my gosh!! I'm coming Flash!!!" He ran towards the call and tripped in front of his brother, "HI!!!"

"Where were the f*ck were you?!"

"I went over to that magical alleyway! And I met a pretty princess! Her dress was poofy." He gave Flash a smug and drunk expression. Not believing Match because of his drunken state. "Her butt was also round like a beach ball!!!"

"Okay! You've had way to much buddy!" He then used his magic to take hold of the empty bottle that Match held onto. They both had a tug of war match over the thing. Winning Match Box growled at Flash, holding the whiskey bottle more firmly.

"NO! It's mine!!"

"Fine.."

"Where are we going next?! Candyland?!"

"No.. we're going home! You're going to bed! You're drunk!"

"But Flash!!" Match Box whimpered, giving him the puppy dog eyes, "If I go to bed now! I'll miss the fairy that gives out free dental floss!!

"Just come on!!"

Changing as if nothing had happened at all the drunk pegasus put his hoof around Flash's neck, "Oh okay! I'm only going because you're my brother!!"

Holding the bottle they departed from Ponyville and made their way home. Match had of course fallen over many times on the way. Match Box paid no mind to what was going to happen if he entered the dream world...

Author's Note:

I'd like to say.. This was the most fun and hilarious chapter I have ever written! I think I'm going to have to find a new editor. Not sure yet. So I'm going to release this chapter since the last time I updated was October. Sorry :C

Once again! Thanks so much for all your support. Even a little is just enough to make me smile :3

So sorry for such a delay! But now enjoy the next chapter!

Thanks Everypony,
Dubstep Tree (BloodyPoptartsMLP)